OPEYEMI AD: UNIVERSITY OF NAIRALAND

Answer all questions.
Note: No calculator or any electronic devices.
TIME:1hour 30mins.
Instruction: You are allow to cheat but you must not caught
SECTION A: subjective objective

1. If a Witch marries an Armed Robber and give birth to a prostitute, who ll stay home at night?
Ans- there dog
2. What are the Names of the 2 people holding hands when U switch on a nokia phone?
Ans- father and son
3. If the past tense of take is took, what is the past tense of make?
Ans- Mook(lwkmd)
4. I have a dream is to Luther King, as I av no shoes is to?
Ans- GEJ(oga president)
5. What's the plural form of Zaphaneth Paneah?
Ans- zaphaneths paneahs
6. Which University in your country has the highest number of ladies who cAn travel a 2km journey on foot?
Ans- maulag
7. If Tinubu is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, then who sent the friend request?
Ans- a monkey
SECTION B Theory
Attempt all questions:

1. Differentiate between Do or Die and All die be die!
Ans- it very clear, D O O R D I E and A L L D I E B E D I E are dy the same spellings?
2. Using the almighty formulae, calculate the diameter of Kanji dam[take pie=3.142]
ans- kanjidam
3. If your X-boyfriend/girlfriend wins 5million Dollars immediately after U broke up..then find the value of x...I repeat find x.
Ans- its simple, i'll find x in the grave cos i'll send armed robbers to kill her and collect the 5m, man must not dull o
4a. If Ida is a girl and Bello is a boy, who's Idabello?
Ans- idabello is an amaphrodite
b. If Pra is a river and Bosomtwe is a lake, then who is Pra-Bosomtwe?..
Ans- then pra-bosomtwe will be river-lake. Teacher opeyemi abeg mark my script and give me scholarship fast