acidtalk: I dumped a girl EARLY THIS YEAR for similar reason. This lady opened the hole in her mouth to say "She can't fetch water in a home where her husband is" in her own words, her father and brother do fetch water in their house.

When she said this I was staunt, I have 24/7water gushing into my house and a gen to pump water to fill the overhead and underground tank for at least 5days after power outage. Of course if shouldn't have taken that statement serious because I always have water but I forsaw the future and unforseen circumstance and knew the girl wasn't just ready to marry.

A lady who when she enters my kitchen prepares only her food and will want me to practically beg to have some on my own food I bought with my money.

She has never lifted up the vacumn cleaner or broom to sweep any part of the house before.

All this I watched and didn't say anything. I dumped her for a lady about 8years her junior. When she found out, she wanted to run mad but she can't do anything. She went back to a guy she considered a "No go area". Due to spdesperation she had to settle for the guy. Someone she bullies and insults at will. She doesn't have an iota of love for the guy she is just desperate to marry because she is almost 30years.

This guy has come with his stories again. Come o, is the girl in question the one whose father a few months back didn't want you to marry because you are his major opponent on Nairaland?

Or perhaps she is that one your people in the village prepared for you and tried to force you to marry??



Kai, this guy ehn. Oniro buruku

ypzilanti:


Which one is 'maid' inside biko nu? A man wants to marry you and you both love each other. Stay in your house and court the old fashioned way, or come over, have fun and also join in the house chores. It's not acceptable that you will be there and watch him sweeping and cooking without joining or taking over. Period. This is Africa, but you girls always want to act like you are dealing with European men. We (men) in Africa do not act like we are dating oyibo...if we did, there would be no weave on money for you, and your daddy would be paying for the wedding too.

I can pay for my own hair and accesories, thank you very much.

That aside, I think courtship the old fashioned way ia a lot better. My mother didn't try to form capable wifey for my dad. He always came over to my great grandmother's house where she lived. Great gtandma only allowed mum the occasional visits, that's all.

Thirty years on they are still going stronger by the day.

I don't know why men expect us to do their chores for them.

Opinion is like A Nose Everyone has It.....
It's simply Different strokes for different folks....why can't u guys here just come up with a constructive argument instead of trying to force ur opinions on others.... For God sake there are some ladies who never did house chores before marriage and today are happily married while some are not...I wonder why some people like forcing there opinions on others.....RUBBISH

Miss Ope: Opinion is like A Nose Everyone has It.....
It's simply Different strokes for different folks....why can't u guys here just come up with a constructive argument instead of trying to force ur opinions on others.... For God sake there are some ladies who never did house chores before marriage and today are happily married while some are not...I wonder why some people like forcing there opinions on others.....RUBBISH

No one is forcing any opinion on any one here. We are just having a lively argument and different folks are giving different reasons for taking different stands.

Ishilove:
This guy has come with his stories again. Come o, is the girl in question the one whose father a few months back didn't want you to marry because you are his major opponent on Nairaland?

Or perhaps she is that one your people in the village prepared for you and tried to force you to marry??



Kai, this guy ehn. Oniro buruku

Hahahahahahahahahaha....n 2 think I actually believed d guy's super story. *rollin on d floor*...u no go kill person!

I don't know why people are against such benevolence.. In most cases, these ladies are not forced to do these things, buh they do it out of their own discretion. For people that are strongly against doing chores for a guy, I hope they would also be against the guy rendering any form of financial support since according to them, there is no guarantee that they would get married.. Agreed

[quote author=Temi 23]Even if u wash his clothes,clean his crib,scrub his dead bathtub 2life,pound yam,b at his beck and call24/7.u might not get a ring!say no 2 slavery [/quote

Lmao

In opinion, it is just a sign of desperation and joblessness.

My husband made a point to clean his place and fix a meal for my visits when we were dating. When he came to my place I reciprocated. A month after his proposal we bought a home and hired a housekeeper (cleaning and laundry) during the week, its been this way ever since.

Table Leg :

Ode!

hmm the leg of a table callin a human ode!mtchew!

I don't know why we like to disturb ourselves ove small issues like these. Must we date to make ourselves useful to our friends? Why must everything we do demand thank you or something?

When I visit my friends, school or home, I tend to help them out whit whatever they are doing. If that friend is cooking, hell will be in the kitchen together talking and cooking, if you are washing, I dive in.

So If I visit a female friend and she is washing, I might help her get water or help her spread her cloths on the line. Why can't we just help friends cos we are friends with them.

I tire for human beings ooo

Mynd_44: I don't know why we like to disturb ourselves ove small issues like these. Must we date to make ourselves useful to our friends? Why must everything we do demand thank you or something?

When I visit my friends, school or home, I tend to help them out whit whatever they are doing. If that friend is cooking, hell will be in the kitchen together talking and cooking, if you are washing, I dive in.

So If I visit a female friend and she is washing, I might help her get water or help her spread her cloths on the line. Why can't we just help friends cos we are friends with them.

I tire for human beings ooo

No mind them.. Na everything them dy read negative meaning put

do what you want. If a lady wants to do it, fine.

dmcdad:

No mind them.. Na everything them dy read negative meaning put

I wonder oo

Tsk very negative minded people here.


There is NOTHING wrong with doing chores for your fiance or friends or whoever. It only becomes a problem when the recipient starts seeing the act as your duty, then you need to curb it or when you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Otherwise i don't see why you can't help someone out talk more a fiance.

I do it. Visit friends , clean up for them, help in d laundry or dishes, even cook. I can't stand untidyness at all.

What matters isn't the act itself but the intention and reception.

uj_sizzle: Tsk very negative minded people here.


There is NOTHING wrong with doing chores for your fiance or friends or whoever. It only becomes a problem when the recipient starts seeing the act as your duty, then you need to curb it or when you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Otherwise i don't see why you can't help someone out talk more a fiance.

I do it. Visit friends , clean up for them, help in d laundry or dishes, even cook. I can't stand untidyness at all.

What matters isn't the act itself but the intention and reception.

Thank u jare.. God bless u

uj_sizzle: Tsk very negative minded people here.


There is NOTHING wrong with doing chores for your fiance or friends or whoever. It only becomes a problem when the recipient starts seeing the act as your duty, then you need to curb it or when you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Otherwise i don't see why you can't help someone out talk more a fiance.

I do it. Visit friends , clean up for them, help in d laundry or dishes, even cook. I can't stand untidyness at all.

What matters isn't the act itself but the intention and reception.

Wise words

what i still dont undastand is why and ow helpping out in a home becomes slavery.

i really dont like my ladies doin things for me ccos i can be good with chores, i cook almost all my meal,wash my cloths , scrub my floor etc, i dont see dem as work ,

i rememeber i did my ex's laundry, coooked her meals and help out in other few stuuff, but she walked away, my name ddnt change, so y must ladies attacch so much importance to some little stuff like dis as if dey are doing just for a purpose.

as someone said earlier, de intent and heart is wat matters and not de act.

Konnektions146: what i still dont undastand is why and ow helpping out in a home becomes slavery.

As in ehn.. I tire 4 pple o

dmcdad:

As in ehn.. I tire 4 pple o

Misplaced pride

Ishilove:
This guy has come with his stories again. Come o, is the girl in question the one whose father a few months back didn't want you to marry because you are his major opponent on Nairaland?

Or perhaps she is that one your people in the village prepared for you and tried to force you to marry??



Kai, this guy ehn. Oniro buruku

I used to make a mistake of being wise in the past. But you keep confirming your level of stu*pidity. That's why you are still old, single and miserable.

All your nonesense feminist ideology is the cause of your problems in life and not me. Face the topic or drown yourself in your sorrows.

Bloody nuisance. People like you are the people that mislead other young ladies. Because you have lost hope of getting a man to marry you, you will come out and start giving wrong advice to innocent girls.

This is a question, What will you do if you love a lady so much and plan to marry her but she is lazy at doing shores and any thing she manged to do she requests for appreciation, will anyone marry such?

a lady who does nt do house chores even 4 her own fiance,has no home training! D igbo says ''a zacha ime ulo,a zawa ezi''. U cn nt just sweep outside d house b4 sweeping inside. So, wen she doesn't do house chores in her fatherz house,dnt xpect it in her fiance's.

My ex-GF would come visiting me, sit or lie on the bed while I do the cooking, washing of plates e.t.c when I gave her the hoot, she asked what the problem was. I go to work, come back and when she comes visiting by weekend, all u do is just watch movies...Don't want such gal as a fiancee...she begged and begged but my mind was made up. It can always repeat itself...

Ishilove:
I can pay for my own hair and accesories, thank you very much.

That aside, I think courtship the old fashioned way ia a lot better. My mother didn't try to form capable wifey for my dad. He always came over to my great grandmother's house where she lived. Great gtandma only allowed mum the occasional visits, that's all.

Thirty years on they are still going stronger by the day.

I don't know why men expect us to do their chores for them.

i see you dont still understand this dude. If you dey your papa house, no need to leave your house go dey do house girl. But if you live in your fiance house, it is obligatory to SHARE the chores with him.

livialives: Lmao

Typed this and the thread was closed on me:

livialives:

Hmmnn. And YOUR harassing attitude towards me was STELLAR?
I don't have any thing against you sagamite but you should know that for every action there is a reaction and ppl react to different things in different ways. You sort out my profile exclusively to pick on when there are other ones as well.
All Good Though

I never knew asking for verification was harassment.

I have given explicitly the reason why I picked you exclusively, and I will try one last time:

- No one has seen you before.
- You are not a regular and barely had 4 post before the beauty competition.
- Only when we had a beauty competition did you decide to post your pix.
- You do not have a Nigerian look and your background on your profile seems rare.

That has all the ingredients to suspect a troll is trying to derail the activity and it raised my suspicion.

A suspicion I merely requested to be assuaged with an easy and reasonable request, not an angry black woman reaction.

You should have reasoned we don't know each other, hence I have no personal reason to pick on you.

Doing chores for your fiance is not an act of desperation. IMO it is not a big deal:

vivian chinaza: Doing chores for your fiance is not an act of desperation. IMO it is not a big deal:

Indeed. Agreed. Amen.

My fiance (now my hubby) never compelled me to do house chores! I had to because I just couldn't stay in a dirty apartment.

I never for a second saw it as 'slavery'. He appreciated it and always looks forward to me coming around

If its his mess he cleans it up...I have my own place to clean up I will be happy to teach him how to clean up after himself if his mother didn't teach him

Why not?
Nothing wrong with that as long as the lady doesn't mind.
The best is to have a very neat boy, though. He doesn't need much help and there is more time for other things