Efemena_xy:



You nor sabi quote links??

Oya come make I tish you...

na capital U i use instead of small u

Presentation! Presentation!! Presentation!!!

You need to amend your first two entries on that thread Maestro. The arrangement is off putting and I didn't feel motivated to read on. Is it possible for you to go back and make the necessary arrangements? I'm quite certain if you do that, more people would be encouraged to read up your work and provide you with some feedback.

Do that and I'll have a look - promise.

Efemena_xy: Presentation! Presentation!! Presentation!!!

You need to amend your first two entries on that thread Maestro. The arrangement is off putting and I didn't feel motivated to read on. Is it possible for you to go back and make the necessary arrangements? I'm quite certain if you do that, more people would be encouraged to read up your work and provide you with some feedback.

Do that and I'll have a look - promise.

what particular thinq do you want me 2 chanqe? Anyway tanks but pls speculate...

Efemena_xy:

Spot on there Ishi.

Like I've always said, writing detective / crime fiction is not my genre. Never done it before but hey, there's always a first time, eh?



I know, I know that o!

Funny, only you picked up on that. Yes, the last paragraph was abrupt, wasn't it? Ideally, I would have loved to 'flesh it out' a bit more, but as you know, time wasn't really on my side. I was actually thinking of doing some more work on that bit later on in the evening as I had a hectic schedule ahead of me...but I didn't want to risk missing my deadline. Heck, I wasn't even sure if I'd have enough strength within me to continue later that evening.

Besides, I had you and HBG "buzzing" in my ears that my chapter was too long na, abi? So make una take some of the blame jare



Now this is why I love you babes. You say it like it is. It's just the sort of critism I need to improve on my work. I don't like being molly cuddled and told it's fine, fine, fine, even when I've got errors glaring / literally shouting out from the pages I've written. I guess that's why many folks view my critique of other's work as being too harsh. I dey learn sha to tone it down..and if the work is really that bad, I go just keep schtum jare.

Anyway, making those changes now-now.




Take it from me when I say you aren't fussy. Every good critic worth their salt is meant to pay attention to detail. That's exactly what you and Larry have done so far, and I appreciate you guys for your honesty.

@All, don't get me wrong o! I too am like any vain mortal around and do enjoy my fair share of flattery. It's ego boosting, but if you guys see errors in my work, kindly point them out to me. It's the only way I can get better!

Thanks dear. I noticed a few other things but I didn't comment on them because they are minor, and besides, I am not even sure I can do a better job so I let it slide. In addition,I didn't want to be accused of 'bad belle-ism'. Didn't want folks mummuring that Ishi too dey find fault or Ishi too dey form like na she sabi pass. In fact, a lot of folks are waiting for my own submission so that they can tear into Miss Know All's work. Abeg ma pipo, make una sofry for me o. Me sef be rookie .

That asides, Efe, you did good. GIRL POWER!!!

This is what I mean...rather than type:

One day Bello
was going
to school. There
was a fly
standing on a
wall. The fly said
to him: "Good Morning are
you going to school?" Bello
answered, "Good
Morning, yes
I am"

It would be better for you to present it this way:

One day, Bello was going to school. There was a fly standing on a wall.

The fly said to him, "Good Morning, are you going to school?"

Bello answered, "Good Morning, yes I am".

Now d'you see the difference?

The content hasn't changed, just the presentation...and I tell you truthfully, most readers would prefer to read the bit in green rather than the bit in blue. It's all about presentation. Shey you get me now?

Efemena_xy: This is what I mean...rather than type:

One day Bello
was going
to school. There
was a fly
standing on a
wall. The fly said
to him: "Good Morning are
you going to school?" Bello
answered, "Good
Morning, yes
I am"

It would be better for you to present it this way:

One day, Bello was going to school. There was a fly standing on a wall.

The fly said to him, "Good Morning, are you going to school?"

Bello answered, "Good Morning, yes I am".

Now d'you see the difference?

The content hasn't changed, just the presentation...and I tell you truthfully, most readers would prefer to read the bit in green rather than the bit in blue. It's all about presentation. Shey you get me now?

oh! Now i qet..tanks,i'll correct dat

Cool

Efemena, I have read your work. Of course, you are a very technically sound writer and the quality shows in your writing.

You crafted intrigue at the beginning of your chapter but there wasn't much suspense. David figured things out a little bit too easily for events he previously knew nothing about or did he?

Ishilove:
Thanks dear. I noticed a few other things but I didn't comment on them because they are minor, and besides, I am not even sure I can do a better job so I let it slide. In addition,I didn't want to be accused of 'bad belle-ism'. Didn't want folks mummuring that Ishi too dey find fault or Ishi too dey form like na she sabi pass. In fact, a lot of folks are waiting for my own submission so that they can tear into Miss Know All's work. Abeg ma pipo, make una sofry for me o. Me sef be rookie .

That asides, Efe, you did good. GIRL POWER!!!

Nothing bad belle-ism about it jare. I agree criticism can be hard to accept especially as each writer/artist views their work as their 'baby'...but without it, how else does one get better?

Re the bolded bit: Now you exaggerate!

Shebi you don buy your made-in-Aba-bullet-proof-vest?

But on a more serious note, you're going to do well with your chapter. You'll be fine - I know you will.

Now stop worrying!

***Phew! Glad I don submit my own sha...the tension must be gathering momentum for the rest of you guys. Even the ever vocal Mazi don go quiet all of a sudden! ***

maclatunji: David figured things out a little bit too easily for events he previously knew nothing about or did he?

exactly what i was thinkinq

maclatunji: Efemena, I have read your work. Of course, you are a very technically sound writer and the quality shows in your writing.

You crafted intrigue at the beginning of your chapter but there wasn't much suspense. David figured things out a little bit too easily for events he previously knew nothing about or did he?

Cheers, Mac.

Re David: Let's just say some people are naturally intuitive - so yes, he did make a couple of lucky guesses / assumptions. Having said that, remember though, that he didn't have all the answers to the riddles...

Rap maestro: exactly what i was thinkinq

Really.

After all this time, na now you just dey 'think am'?

Double post

^^

Why the huge quotation Ishi?

Efemena_xy:

***Phew! Glad I don submit my own sha...the tension must be gathering momentum for the rest of you guys. Even the ever vocal Mazi don go quiet all of a sudden! ***

Nah! I was never vocal on this particular thread. But trust me, my work is 70% complete. I intend completing it tomorrow, then do all the editing before uploading.

With 'veracious' and critique readers like ishi hovering around this thread, you only have to up your game.

Their is no amount of editing that will prevent her from picking up one or two mistakes; if its not the tenses, its the use of verbs and punctuation.

I tire oh!

I even saw larry pointing out a correction that punctuation should be inside a quote and not outside!! The thing tire me!!!

I saw your pointers, you really had it worked out. I guess if larry allows you, you will complete this story by yourself.

^^ Hahaha!!

Re pointers: I guess it's all about interest jare. I love writing and writing on this particular genre has been an eye opener for me. Learnt a couple of things along the way.

I don't know how you do it...managing this work plus the constant on going work on your other thread. Do you have it all typed out or do you simply type 'on the go'?

The reason I ask is because you're very good with the updates. Not many writers can boast of being that consistent. It's one thing capturing your readers interests...but holding that interest...it's no mean feat.

I doff my hat to you on that one, Mazi

I don't have my work typed out! I type and upload. I'm currently typing the last paragraph of the work I will upload in the next 10 minutes. After that, I will start typing a new chapter.

It isn't an easy feat, not at all. Sometimes, I have to type my next work in the direction of my reader's comment.
But when I have extra time, I can type two chapters and keep one for a later update.

I have managed to do my plotting for this detection work. I want to give it quality time and attention least I do a low quality job.

You really did a nice work, you gave me many pointers to work with.

Mazi_Omenuko: I don't have my work typed out! I type and upload. I'm currently typing the last paragraph of the work I will upload in the next 10 minutes. After that, I will start typing a new chapter.

It isn't an easy feat, not at all. Sometimes, I have to type my next work in the direction of my reader's comment.
But when I have extra time, I can type two chapters and keep one for a later update.

I have managed to do my plotting for this detection work. I want to give it quality time and attention least I do a low quality job.

You really did a nice work, you gave me many pointers to work with.

Yessssssssssss....I noticed that!

You know something? I'm thinking...for the next round, maybe you and I should switch places?

What sayest thou, kind sir??

Efemena_xy:

Yessssssssssss....I noticed that!

You know something? I'm thinking...for the next round, maybe you and I should switch places?

What sayest thou, kind sir??

Next round of this detection work or what?

Tut, tut, tut...

Next round of this detection work Mazi. What else would I be talking about na?

Efemena_xy: Tut, tut, tut...

Next round of this detection work Mazi. What else would I be talking about na?

You want me to write immediately after Moss

^^ Yes.

If we switch places, you'll be writing immediately after Red...

Besides, I haven't said I want you to..I'm asking if you'll consider it? It might just give me the opportunity to work with your characters. Now, that's a challenge I'd like to take you up on

^ ^ ok. Deal!
Let's see how I manage the characters you created.

A lot of characters has been introduced by you guys. I'm trying hard to work with them and not create more so the story can still be easy to comprehend.

^^ Cool.

Now this is something I'm really going to look forward to!

Mazi_Omenuko:

You want me to write immediately after Moss

Come, this man...stop modifying your posts!

And why that facial expression now?

Can I make a suggestion? Yes!

Is it possible to change or edit the title of that thread?

'nairaland writers collaboration'? Sounds really lame. Doesn't inspire someone to open the thread Jo. Abeg Larry consider this suggestion. Tank you :* :*°•ĸϊsš•°:* :*

brokoto: Can I make a suggestion? Yes!

Is it possible to change or edit the title of that thread?

'nairaland writers collaboration'? Sounds really lame. Doesn't inspire someone to open the thread Jo. Abeg Larry consider this suggestion. Tank you :* :*°•ĸϊsš•°:* :*

So what's the suggestion then?

You can't call your request a suggestion if you haven't got an alternative name for that thread!

LUCAN D HERO? Lolzz

Rap maestro: LUCAN D HERO? Lolzz

*mounts machine e-gun on stand*
You said?

Efemena_xy:

So what's the suggestion then?

You can't call your request a suggestion if you haven't got an alternative name for that thread!

ok. Shey na my engrish be wahala? Oya call am request not suggestion.
I just asked if he'll be willing to consider changing the name. He should respond before we start suggesting names na.

Personally, I think the present name is just perfect.

~ It's a Nairaland thing

~ The theme is detective based

~ It is a club formed by the collaboration of varied writers!

^^ Plus giving the story a title at this stage might be too much of a streamline. I think it could stiffle creativity as I (or any other writer) might want the title to reflect directly in my work even when it is rather unnecesary.

The thread's title is fine that way, for now.

^^ Thank you jare.