Flow.am vry gr8ful indeed...interesting story indeed.KUDOS.

The next morning was Sunday morning.


"Bigie you dey Mad oh, we give you our wallet yesterday make you hold for us, you thief the money wey inside abi" I and Man held Bigie to ransom at the backyard.

"Flow we go beat am today, him must pay us the money" Man thundered.

"but no be all the money wey dey una wallet i thief na, i remain small for una na" Bigie stated.

"thunder fire you! I get 10k for my wallet, you take 7k com remain 3k for me, Man get 8k for him wallet, you take 7k com remain 1k for am" I yelled.

I totally forgot that the person we gave our wallets the previous day was the Notorious BIG. Had i known, i would had left my wallet on the floor and went to Riverside hotel, it would had been safer on the floor than giving it to Bigie.

He was so smart that althrough the previous day he was nowhere to be found, until that morning that he sneaked in.

"Flow this guy must give me my money today oh, na that money i wan use go buy JAMB form, and na tomorrow be the last day for the JAMB form" Man said with fury written boldly all over him.

My prayer for Bigie was for Man not to send a punch to his face. A punch that might either make Bigie start dancing or turn him into a Dummy.


"because you don finish University abi? you no want make i write JAMB enter University abi, e no go work for you" Man thundered.

Man really needed to gain admission into the University and Maybe study English language to clean-up his poor grammar.


"I go blow this guy oh" Man threatened.

"no blow am abeg" I pleaded. I had seen enough of the wonders of Taley.


"ok, take this phone, go sell am for Ama Hausa, the phone fine, you go sell am like 6k for Ama Hausa" I offered Man the most expensive of the phones i stole at Riverside. Sorry, i never "stole" but just "took".

My definition of stealing is taking something from someone without the person knowing. Since the owners saw me took the phones, so i never stole but just took them.

"Flow you sure say I go fit sell this phone reach 6k?" Man asked.

"guy the new of this phone na 14k for market, as this one still new small, you go sell am like 6k, i dey sure" I said.

Ama Hausa was known for buying items half the price the brand new of that item would cost, that is only if the item still looked new. For instance, if you bought a shoe 14,000naira, and two months later you intend selling that shoe at Ama Hausa, have it at the back of your mind that it would be sold 7,000naira or less.


"oh, you dey wear Gold sef, abi you thief that one sef" I saw the 18 carat Gold necklace Bigie wore.

Gold is Gold no matter what. And like the saying goes; "All that glitters is not Gold". The CC and GL Kpatalico and Tupaco company marketed glittered like the stars, but they weren't Gold.

"take this one, i go wear your Gold until you pay me the money wey you collect from my wallet" I removed the GL i wore, put it on Bigie, I also removed his 18 carat Gold and wore it. That marked the first time i wore a Gold necklace since i was born. Sorry, the second time.

The first time a Gold necklace entered my neck it lasted for about 2minutes. It wasn't mine, it was for a course mate when we were in School.


"if you no bring my money before tomorrow, your Gold don go be that, i go go sell am for Ama Hausa" I threatened.

"sell wetin, how i go sell am, me wey never wear Gold chain since dem born me" I said to myself.


"Flow Ama Hausa dey open on Sunday?" Man asked.

"yes na, them dey open everyday" I answered.

"okay make i go baf, i go first enter Ama Hausa before i go reach Church" Man said as he walked away.


My Church service that morning would be awesome, especially with a Gold necklace hanging like a medal in my neck. Or so i tot.

If you read this last update 5minutes after i posted it, you are on a LONG THING. Because i made a "trailer load" of mistakes.

I no send the thing oh, the thing send by himself. Una wey like my updates, na una control my hand to click SEND with una Taley abi?

I have made the corrections sha. So read again to understand better.


Yours Sincerely,
STILL I FLOW.

nigga ya still reply die...f33l ya

I gt u boss

Nice one Flow. You re the best comedy writer on this site. Your ability to create humor from ordinary happenings is unrivaled.
Good job.
Keep Flowing.
More Udeme.

Nice story flow..
Buh mynd dey fall my hand oo,why he no wan put d story 4 front page self..

Mistake or no mistake Flow is the best , Nwanne na aga n'anyi na eso gi n'azu gbagam gbagam , Ihe ina ede n'aka bu odighi ikpo aha

I wan send two crates of Odeku come ur side. How I go take do am? This ur tory dey tortori me seriously.
Flow on my guy, 042 guys gat ur back!

This your story remind me of yogo pam pam Flow you be Nkem Owoh while Man be Okey Bakasi

fujirice: I wan send two crates of Odeku come ur side. How I go take do am? This ur tory dey tortori me seriously.
Flow on my guy, 042 guys gat ur back!

chai my 042 niggax dey here.

nwanne m 042 Adiro agba last

Flow mistake or no mistake, i go read the torey. Pegin English no get correction....

This guy no go kill person ooThis guy no go kill person ooThis guy no go kill person oo

lols

flow i need sleeping tablet inform of update

flow naaah[b][/b]

valboy20:

chai my 042 niggax dey here.

nwanne m 042 Adiro agba last

Even if we come last, we'll always reinvent d wheel!

vision2050: flow i need sleeping tablet inform of update

Am sorry, no tablet tonite, am so tired. I might even wake late tomorrow, today rather.

hmm..flow no low tones dis month oo...unu happy nu month...i bein dey hope flow 2 update before june..or so i was tot......

Hapi new month 2 all d flowing fans.

Still Flow...waaagwan mon? Mi ah fi feeling yuh man...keep it moving, nuh bombaclaaaat battywoy ah fi gwan stop ya man... Or, gunshot *boooyaka*

Flow go legend of de fuckers, I won make u join dem bro.

GOLIDIVA:
Even if we come last, we'll always reinvent d wheel!

naso bro

Flow...I wish u would not worry so much about your mistakes. We understand u. Even me, the American! I love your writing. It is best in your own words. "So says Flow." Don't change it. The mistakes are the beauty of it. Genius!!! I just read the last 4 updates. hahahahahahahaha!!!! Suspense, humor, intrigue...AMAZING!!! Keep it up

Church was heavenly, i sang with Joy, and i danced like that day was declared World Dance day. All because i wore a Necklace that was pure Gold.

I was dressed Golden also. My shirt was a perfect description of what they call "bling bling". It shone like the morning Sun.


"Flow make we dey go house, church don close na" Brainbox said.

"me and you na Twins? Dem born us together? Na must say we must go house together" I said to him.


As I and Brainbox walked to the bus-stop to board a bus that would take us to Nekede, i was hearing two Ladies gisting behind us. They weren't gossiping about someone as normal when two Ladies are together gisting, they were telling themselves how awesome the Service was.

Why wouldn't the Service be awesome? When it was the handsomely beautiful Pastor Kel that preached. Pastor Kel was a dashing hunk, with broad shoulders and pink lips.

Another attribute he had was his bald head. Saying his head was without hair is an understatement, his head was a Mirror anytime anyday.

Albeit Pastor Kel was married to a beautiful wife, saying all the Ladies in the church were heading over hills for him is an understatement, they were heading over mountains for him. And i was sure they could do anything to have a baby by him, and be a millionaire like rapper 50cent said.

"Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm" goes a verse in the Holy Book. I was sure the beautiful Demons on Angels skin we had as Choir members would not make the Spirit filled Pastor Kel fall out of Ministery.

I finally realized that the Ladies gisting behind us was Gabriella and her friend Sandra a.k.a small stout as they came closer.

Brainbox gave her the nickname "small stout" the first day he met her not because she loved drinking small stout, but because she was as short as a stout bottle.

"Nekede!! Nekede!!" The bus conductor was "shadowing".

I don't mean he was looking at his shadow on the floor, what i meant was that he was yelling for passengers to come board his bus.

If you live in Lagos, you would agree with me that "shadow" is a popular word you would hear mostly at motor parks and bus stops.

"Nekede! Nekede!!" the bus conductor yelled.

This time, his shadowing words sounded like "N'aked! N'aked!!" and not "Nekede! Nekede"


As i was about boarding the bus, something held my shirt.

I dragged, and dragged, until i heard, "braaaaaaoooo!". That was when it dawned on me that my bling bling shirt had torn.

I thought it was just a minor damage, but when Gabriella that followed me behind said; "you shirt had torn, it is big oh", that was when i knew i was in for it.

I turned and saw that what Gabriella called Big was actually "Bigger and Biggest".

My shirt had suddenly turned a singlet.

My shirt was torn into two equal halves. One was on me, while the other hung on the door of the bus like a flag. A Biafran flag maybe.

"Conductor see wetin una door don do me" I cried.

"guy no be only you don enter this motor oh, people wey don enter before you enter no complain oh" The bus conductor said.

I wasn't the only passenger that had entered the bus like the bus conductor rightly said. But it seemed the door of the bus saw the shirts of the others and left them, but magnetised mine like a nail to a magnet.

"sorry oh!" Gabriella was consoling me over the lose of half of my bling bling shirt.

"its nothing" I replied. It was actually "something". Yes, it was a big thing.

"sorry oh" Small stout said.

"why you dey tell me sorry na? abi person die" I almost said.


"guy you look like all this Fulani boys wey dey pursue Cow, naso them dey dress oh, naso their cloth dey tear" Man laughed at me.

"na you be like Fulani" I almost said.


As we sat in the bus and the bus moved, i remembered something.

That "something" was that i had no transport fare, i had spent all the money with me as seed offering in Church. I planted the seeds because i was so happy, and i knew the seed would germinate soon. Or so i tot.

Hahahahaha
ayaf laff tayah

lols nyc update

Ha ha, flow, nice.

Flow u say u no get t.p....... nahim be say u go see ur period bdat..... wit dat madt conductor.
Ehen flow wsup wit da bitches ova bitches video clip u send to tupac's fone..... wot did u guys make out of it this time around........FLOW U GET MOUTH DIE......i dey hear from u sha!......

Foxy_Rebirth: finali dem don release me...

wow see whoz here, welcome bak bro!