Okpetu things. Nice one Flow.

'Ijangbon repete' be that now.

Reporting from O'dua republic.


Still "WE" FLOW!!

Flow...‎ص رخكأ عخق دقيف ذأأن صف قن

Keep flowing brada

TVT KOKO: Keep flowing brada

is dis not tyt koko of 2go

TVT KOKO: Flow...‎ص رخكأ عخق دقيف ذأأن صف قن

Is that the Arabic interpretation of Nsogbu?

flow I feel u die. make sure say u publish dis wonderful aticul

me i be yoruba boy wey dae reason.....i no go fit komplit dt space

ugba

Hahahahahahahaha, flow my twin bro tinks am going while laughing alone

4kizo: Hahahahahahahaha, flow my twin bro tinks am going while laughing alone

4kizo walk and never stumble. Dasis.

BTW ur twin brother na karid entity like you?

If he is, then i am imagining two of you on kegite regalia. It would really be a sight to behold.

There was this identical twin friends of mine that were Kegite back then, One of them later became the Chiefo of an Ilya. Sometimes the other one would dress to meetings to address Kariabilities as the Chiefo. And kariabilities would hardly recognise him, because they were so Identical.

Are you guys Identical?

FLOW CONTINUE FLOW OO

Flow nsobgu na TROUBLE for where i dey.........thumbzup baddo

Viewing this topic: tosingcfr(m), flow1759, promire2004(f),
pillzthadrugz(m) and 3 guest(s)

Flow u gats update asap, stop dulling me hands...

flow1759:

4kizo walk and never stumble. Dasis.

BTW ur twin brother na karid entity like you?

If he is, then i am imagining two of you on kegite regalia. It would really be a sight to behold.

There was this identical twin friends of mine that were Kegite back then, One of them later became the Chiefo of an Ilya. Sometimes the other one would dress to meetings to address Kariabilities as the Chiefo. And kariabilities would hardly recognise him, because they were so Identical.

Are you guys Identical?

Flow we r much alike dat somtimes my dad mistakes him as me, nd hes an entity alaka minastate

Madawaki01: u just qualified ur fada,moda,sistas,brodas,cousins,nephews,nieces nd ur relations,.bloody fool

How dare you involve my family with whatever issue you have with me. If u could insult my parent, it shows that u re a mannerless, rude and useless son of your father. Mind you, my father is old enof to be your grandfather. D wiseman said "You cannot just give what you don't have much as you don't value what you don't have". It's obvious dat u dnt pple to call parent and family or u grew in a motherless baby home wher d only person u knw as mother is ur matron. Guy no vex me ooo because i can go extra lenght to fight anybody that insult my parent.

gendebs:

How dare you involve my family with whatever issue you have with me. If u could insult my parent, it shows that u re a mannerless, rude and useless son of your father. Mind you, my father is old enof to be your grandfather. D wiseman said "You cannot just give what you don't have much as you don't value what you don't have". It's obvious dat u dnt pple to call parent and family or u grew in a motherless baby home wher d only person u knw as mother is ur matron. Guy no vex me ooo because i can go extra lenght to fight anybody that insult my parent.

EGBAMI ooooooooo.....first time to comment on ur thread flow, gana introduce my self later, but can't let dis pass me by

nice one Oga flow

Next morning, at the backyard.

"make una take, na the complete money be this" Mama Ejima handed over what i initially thought was Paper to Man.

"make una delete the video oh, na now i want make una delete am sef" Mama Ejima stated.

"but before we go delete am, i wan tell you one thing oh" I said. "wetin be that?" She asked.

"this thing wey you dey do no good oh, stop am, you get husband for house, if your husband thing no big, you for talk, Man own big well well" I said pointing at Man's dickson.

"e no concern you" She attacked.

"Flow you dey mad oh, my thing and your thing which one big pass?" Man said.

"my p.rick na under 17, your own dey play World Cup" I teased.


"i dey tell you this thing because i like you oh" I said to Mama Ejima.

"Like" wasn't the right word, "Love" was. I was madly in Love with her. If it was posible for a woman to marry two husbands, i wouldn't mind being her second husband.

But my problem with her was that she found no handsome hunk amongst us to have f.lings with but a woman like herself.

That reminded me of a female soldier in the barracks that was caught sleeping with a soldier's wife. The female soldier was dismissed from the Army within 24hours. She was Bianca by name. Bianca was added in the barracks dictionary, it became a slang to refer to L.esbians.

Since i was just 10 then, i never knew any word like L.esbian existed, the word i knew was Bianca. The slang "Bianca" so stuck that i couldn't believe it when i heard it was a female name.

The name Bianca Eze, i will never forget.

"go and call me Bianca Eze, she is your classmate" Our Maths teacher said to me in his office when i was in JSS1. And i started laughing, laughing like i had inhaled excess laughing gas. To cut the long story short, i recieved 6strokes of cane from the dreaded Maths teacher for laughing at him.

After recieving the 6strokes of cane, he still ordered that i go fetch Bianca Eze. The funniest part of the whole thing is that; although the strokes of cane almost gave me hunchback, i couldn't hold myself from laughing as i told the class captain that the Maths teacher wanted Bianca Eze in his office.

Even till now as i write, although i now know better, i still find the name "Bianca" funny. No pun intended, if i meet a Lady now and she tells me her name is Bianca, i will first let out a Big Fat laugh, and if she ask why i laughed, the first question i will ask her will be; "Are you a L.esbian?"

Thank God i haven't met a Lady by that name yet, because she might not find what i will say to her funny at all.


"i dey wait you na, delete the video make i see" Mama Ejima said.

"Man before you go delete the video, first look whether na complete money she give you, confirm whether the money na fake" I said.

While Man counted the money, i moved my hands to c.aress Mama Ejima's Ikebe.

"remove your hand, you no know say i be married woman?" She struck my hand, almost dislocating my wrist.

"you dey craze, you no know say you be married woman before you go dey sleep with woman like you abi?" I cursed. "Ssssss!! you dey shout, my husband dey around" Mama Ejima cautioned.


"guy the money no complete oh, e remain 1k" Man announced.

"woman you dey joke with us abi, where the remaining 1k?" I queried.

"abeg make una take am like that, na borrow i borrow the money abeg, i no get any money again" Mama Ejima pleaded.

"nahim i wan touch your nyash you dey comot my hand abi?" I said.

"no vex, come touch am, abeg touch am na" She pleaded.

"I no dey touch again, Man make we dey go jor" I said walking away.

"abeg na, make una no vex, abeg una be my broses" Mama Ejima panicked.

Pls don't look for the word "Broses" in the the English dictionary. If you have a Pidgin dictionary, look for it there. If "Bros" is singular, since we were two, she had to call us "Broses". You understand?


"una no go delete the Video again?" She cried.

"when your money complete we go delete am" Man answered as we left.

We were feeling on top of the world. What we never knew was that we would soon go through hell.

itx your turn now, make sure you use it well bcox it will soon be mama ejima's turn

flow i sees uu...continue to flow like àme wit al alacrïty...nufin does u...**thumbs up**

valboy20: itx your turn now, make sure you use it well bcox it will soon be mama ejima's turn

She and Kate almost chased I and Man out of Nekede.

gendebs:

How dare you involve my family with whatever issue you have with me. If u could insult my parent, it shows that u re a mannerless, rude and useless son of your father. Mind you, my father is old enof to be your grandfather. D wiseman said "You cannot just give what you don't have much as you don't value what you don't have". It's obvious dat u dnt pple to call parent and family or u grew in a motherless baby home wher d only person u knw as mother is ur matron. Guy no vex me ooo because i can go extra lenght to fight anybody that insult my parent.

wnt go further so ar nt to spoil d thread..but am goin to reply ur obdurate post..u cn cry to ur no teeth fada dat they abuse u 4 here,im nn concern me,but u'r a st'upid boy,i knw wat caused ur stup'idity,u were born late,it seems u'r d result of many concontions nd sacrifices which xplains ur small brain....y shud u insult som1 wen u knw u'r gonna cry if u were replied..

flow baba...u ar mouthed....enjoying evry bit of ur story... dis na real season film.. ride on bro...

Flow baba you too much ooo,keep it flowing jor o

Madawaki01: wnt go further so ar nt to spoil d thread..but am goin to reply ur obdurate post..u cn cry to ur no teeth fada dat they abuse u 4 here,im nn concern me,but u'r a st'upid boy,i knw wat caused ur stup'idity,u were born late,it seems u'r d result of many concontions nd sacrifices which xplains ur small brain....y shud u insult som1 wen u knw u'r gonna cry if u were replied..

your low level of reasoning is highly questionable. Why shld i ve forget so quick dat u re a product of unproper grooming. Like i said "u don't value what u dnt ve"

Flow, u wan Bleep person wife

That evening "Big boys cutz" was commissioned, all thanks to the zealous Baba jay who ran helter-skelter to put things in place.

A heavy Revival was held during the commissioning of the Barber's shop, all thanks to Pastor Kc and Pastor MOG.

"make una come make we go drink beer to celebrate the Barbing salon wey we open" Man suggested.

"you mean am?" said Bigie. "him mean am na, me and him wan shayo all of una" I said.

Shayo is Yoruba and it means to drink to stupor. The kind of drinking that your five senses would stop working.

"where are you going to dressed like this?" Pkc asked me as i came to change clothes.

"Pkc, i have been called to bar" I answered.

"you never told me you studied Law?" Pkc said.

"Pkc na drinking bar i dey talk, i wan go celebrate the Barbing salon wey we open" I said.

"i thought you are now a Barrister" Pkc said. "yes na, he is a Barrister of drinking bar" MOG teased, and Tega who was operating his laptop laughed.

Of a truth, i looked like a Barrister, as my old face cap looked more like the wig worn by judges in the court of Law.

"drinking responsibly oh" Pkc warned. "yes i will" I answered as i walked out of the room.

Far be it from me to jest about the advert of most beer manufacturers but, is there anything responsible about Drinking? As the last line of their advert would say "Drink Responsibly". Drinking beer to me is the most irresponsible thing to do. As far as am concern, a bottle will lead to two bottles, two bottles to three, three to four, and after four you would still be tempted to take one for the road, as far as the money is available, and as far as the beer is the Legendary "my friend Udeme".


We were soon off to the nearest drinking bar, all of us save Tega, and of course Pkc and MOG.

Seated at a bar along the roadside, I ordered, i guess as the Barrister i was.

"Snoop make you and Baba jay try for this Barbing salon, so we go gain oh" Brainbox advised.

"we go try" Snoop assured.

"na tomorrow morning we go start to dey barb, and we go first barb all of una hair" Baba jay informed.

That night Udeme tasted like Honey, so i drank with all dexterity.

If i was a Barrister, then Man was a Senior Advocate of Nigeria(SAN) because he was a bottle ahead of me.

If Man was a SAN, then Snoop was a Chief Justice of a Federal High Court because he was a bottle ahead of him.

If Snoop was a Chief Justice, then Baba jay was a Chief Justice of the Federation because he was a bottle ahead of him.

Brainbox, Tupac and Bigie were all Barristers like me, we were all on our third bottles.

So was the hierarchy.

I think i went to pee at a nearby bush Twelve times that night, or even more.

The Barristers ended up drinking Four bottles each, and one for the road. So you should do the Maths to know how many bottles a SAN, a Chief Justice, and a Chief Justice of the Federation drank.

We staggered home, not as irresponsible Men, but as irresponsible F'ouls. With the Chief Justice of the Federation as the Biggest F'oul. Infact, it would be better calling him Chief Justice of F'ouls.

As we got close to our gate, my phone vibrated, it was a message from Tega.

I could barely read the words, as my eyes saw them upside down. "Man, help me read this message abeg" I gave Man the phone.


"Tega say make me and you no come house say the point 1 of Buccaneers for PolyNekede dey find us, say yawa don gas for me and you" Man told me. I was about laughing, but when i saw the seriousness in Man's face, i asked, "you serious?".

"i serious na, make we call Tega" Man said.

Man called Tega albeit severally to confirm that the Point 1 and his boys were in the compound.

point 1 is a slang referring to the head of a cult.

"Mama Ejima and Kate nahim call them for us, we go smell pepper today" I said to myself.

"but wetin una do na?" Brainbox asked. "forget wetin we do, na wetin we go do now you suppose to dey ask" I panicked.

"and Ade no dey, una for go sleep for him house, where una go sleep now?" Baba jay said.

"okay, Baba jay shebi you hold the key of the barbing salon" Man asked. "yes, i hold am, e dey for my pocket" Baba jay answered.

"give me, na for inside the salon me and Flow go stay until dem go, and if dem no gree go, we go sleep there" Man said.

"God forbid! How i go sleep for inside container" I almost said.

"if them ask una where Flow and Man dey, make una tell them say we don travel" I whispered.

Baba jay gave Man the key, and I and Man tiptoed towards the Barber's shop.

Tega had saved us a big deal. Albeit he was a top Buccaneer member, he loved us more than his fratanal Brothers. Or so i tot.

Every day for the thief, one day for the owner

This is the best piece of comedy i've read in months.
i started 5pm yesterday afternoon and i finished 4am this mornin'..
my eyes are sore,my ribs are cracked..only if i knew which one to treat first..you are one of d finest in our generation..#word

Meme Inc.:
This is the best piece of comedy i've read in months.
i started 5pm yesterday afternoon and i finished 4am this mornin'..
my eyes are sore,my ribs are cracked..only if i knew which one to treat first..you are one of d finest in our generation..#word

You are welcome on board.