LOL...L101...haha..sounds more like a course code to moi...hehehe

Oh my word! I so much want to be a karried fella right now! Somebody baptize me! I need to be speakin' in tongues as well

We arrived ilya du Neked wire on time, karid entities were so much "made in Fulani".


"Barnabas i know, Solomon, i know, who are wa?" a fair guy asked me as i was about seating down. "i am that kpokponti entity that was trans Egbu, trans Amadi, trans Ekulobia, trans Ekulu, trans ife nine, on that day D, time T, that day holy water was so much made in fulani, when i was librated from an animalee to an entity by my chiefo, chief Eze goes to School of Lake Nwebere, my baptizimal name is Ab Flow because i am so much jambraha" I vibrated. The fair guy "shine me his golden falangis" and i sat down.


As we continued drinking holy water, i said, "entities make una days be long oh, una know say na me be the only entity wey get uku I uku wey big like plantain?". They all laughed.


Uku in ibo means leg. I is an English alphabet. So uku I uku was a kegit slang for that thing that is in between a man's legs, that is like letter I (the d'ick).


The fair guy wanted to test how well i could understand vibration so he came close to me and asked, "Baba Daysis oh, if i say pigeon solidify enter my ohambele local government before i migrate nasarawaly here, wetin i mean?" "u think say i be small boy for kegit? U are trying to kowachiate that rice is the food that is in your stomach" i explained.

Nairalanders wey no be kegite, una no go fit understand that part. My apologies pls.

flow1759: Nairalanders wey no be kegite, una no go fit understand that part. My apologies pls.

My Broda dey use all dis una slangs 4hse,bt me tin say na cult boy. Even him record some self, diff beat for d background. But flow,shey u encourage pple to join dis kegite club?

dis guy...wat du u call him sef Ehen FLOW....i don see you.... abeg come hear sumtin........will u do wat u no how 2do best?...........lets go back to kate or beta still mrs ifeoma

flow1759: Nairalanders wey no be kegite, una no go fit understand that part. My apologies pls.

Its written in dat buk of bukosis chapter 8 vs 9 dat ekwensu can quote d bible bt kowasion remaineth

flow1759: Nairalanders wey no be kegite, una no go fit understand that part. My apologies pls.

don't worry I understand

flow1759:

i go tell my daddy, and i go tell my mummy, say u no wan give me kpomoh

I will tell my oga at the top that u want to chop my kpomoh

Lmao

flow1759:

i go tell my daddy, and i go tell my mummy, say u no wan give me kpomoh

Flow can i at least see a pix of you?

Wizee: My Broda dey use all dis una slangs 4hse,bt me tin say na cult boy. Even him record some self, diff beat for d background. But flow,shey u encourage pple to join dis kegite club?

yeah the club is full of fun, it is a social club that is recognised worldwide. Btw it helps promote our culture.

4kizo..bxt u! So na keqite u b sef..anyway i pin d same a-town, metalina deckant

May Ur days b long.....D gods are wisie. 'My oga at d top' flow with kpomoh.

c0ast0l: 4kizo..bxt u! So na keqite u b sef..anyway i pin d same a-town, metalina deckant

Dat is say....

oya flow...cum n giv ux 2dae dose of flowbadtine as prescribed by d doctor

"police oh, one cloth u dey wear oh, police eeh, one cloth u dey wear eeh, everyday na one baret one cloth u dey wear eeeh, everyday na one baret one cloth u dey wear eeh. Police eeh, go Bayelsa eeh, Police ooh, go Bayelsa oh, if Port Harcout no favour u, go Bayelsa, if Port Harcout no Favour u, go Bayelsa eeh" We all sang dancing round a table in Ilya du Neked wire Joint. Mehn! Tupac was a good Dancer, a better holy water drinker and a best Vibrator.


His Brother from another mother; Bigie, didn't dance but sat smiling and watching us. We never knew he was up to mischief.


After i had taken 5litres of Holy water, i was saturated. I was in Cloud nine. I whispered to Brainbox for us to start leaving. He in turn informed others.


As we walked down the road, "Flow see that babe nyash oh! See as the nyash big" Brainbox said pointing at a lady. "omo mehn, the nyash na earthquake oh" Tupac added. The holy water i drank made me long-sighted, as i could see the big a'ss closer than any other person, it was as if the lady was walking in front of me, when she was a bit far from me. The holy water didn't only enhance my sight, it enhanced my thinking faculty. It communicated with me.

"Flow, go press that girl nyash" Holy water commanded. I instantly walked towards the lady like i was under a spell. "e be like say Flow wan go press the girl nyash oh" i heard Brainbox said from behind me. "Flow, u no fit abeg, if u press the girl nyash, come collect 1k for my hand" i heard Bigie said. I turned and gave Bigie a bright smile, "i don chop dat 1k today be dat oh" I thought.

Legend has it that Holy water has more Alcoholic content than beer, also that one 1litre of Holy water was approximately 1 jumbo wrap of weed. If we were to go by that account, that means i had taken 5 jumbo wraps of weed. When i couldn't even finish 4 wraps of weed on a normal day, unless of course i wanted a "direct ticket" to running mad.


I was gradually going nuts, because no normal guy could think of tapping a lady by her a'ss in an open street.


"waka fast before the babe go go na" Holy water told me, and i increase my pace.


As was getting close to her, i saw a guy on red shirt also walking towards her, "abi dis guy wan press her nyash sef?" i asked myself. "make u first dat guy press the girl nyash oh" Holy water said to me. I never knew Holy water was decieving me, the guy on red never had an intention of Tapping the lady's a'ss.


As i and the guy on red walked almost hand in hand behind the lady, i quickly f'ondled the lady's a'ss. "mission accomplished" i tot as i quickly returned my hands pretending i did nothing.


She turned back and yelled, "who did that?". "talk say na that guy do am" Holy water suggested. "is him" i said pointing at the guy on red. The next sound i heard was two hot slaps, not on my cheek, but on the bony cheek of the guy on red. The two "beautiful" slaps made the guy fell to the ground.


"mumu!! U no go run" Holy water suggested. I ran as fast as my legs could go, wishing the guy on red wouldn't recover from the beautiful slap soon.

Flow don enta gbege ooh![b]Flow don enta gbege ooh![/b]Flow don enter gbege ooh!

Rap maestro: Walahi, laff won kill me, but wait o my oga at top, u no hear say one id1ot dey copy paste our tory ehn? Evry writer don go on strike o

who be dat wey dey copy and paste, and who be my oga at top? Shey na dat be
new nairaland slang?

flow1759:

who be dat wey dey copy and paste, and who be my oga at top? Shey na dat be
new nairaland slang?

na one guy o, he go copy, come go paste am 4 group wey him open 4 facebook, come talk say na him write am... He don get fans die, wey go dey beg 4 more... Na u b my oga at the top now na

Rap maestro: na one guy o, he go copy, come go paste am 4 group wey him open 4 facebook, come talk say na him write am... He don get fans die, wey go dey beg 4 more... Na u b my oga at the top now na

WTF!!! Mehn, people no get shame sha.
Flow, pray say the guy dey gidi so you can track him down and make him 'pay' for that

Send us the link to the guy's facebook account and the group's too.
So we can start from there!

kwangi: Send us the link to the guy's facebook account and the group's too.
So we can start from there!

mehn! Dis is too bad oh. Plagiarist stealing my talent. When i was thinking of writing more stories on nairaland? Mehn! The thing don weak me oh.

kwangi: Send us the link to the guy's facebook account and the group's too.
So we can start from there!

Seconded. Let's bombard d mother*fvckers fb page. Wtf!! Only in naija sha. Rapm aestro pls share d link

For those asking for d link THOUGHTS OF BLINKINKED
http://www.facebook.com/blinkinzedthoughts?refid=46

Thats terrible..@Maestro, if you've got the link, pls drop it here....
@Flow, sure... It should have a weakening effect on you..
But one thing is for sure, you are you....and thats talent n originality... If yhu are meant to go places wit your writing skills, then that plagiarist is just setting the path right by gathering fans (temporal) that would eventually seek the real lord on learning the truth...










....''I wanna know who my real dad is''
Don't be discouraged buddy, keep up da Good work!!

flow1759:

mehn! Dis is too bad oh. Plagiarist stealing my talent. When i was thinking of writing more stories on nairaland? Mehn! The thing don weak me oh.

flow mke e no tire u,dat guy wey talk,mke him bring d guy facebook link, i go follow finish work. Na stealin b dat na

We don bombard the guy with insult, he don delete d page come apologize.. Check d angry page opened just 4 him, there, u'll see his pix and fb address, www.nairaland.com/12257551/plagiarist-loose

Its so fucking bad for some kinda idiot out there to just copy the writeup from oga flow. That's arrant nonsense. We ve got to fight the guy with everything.

arizona145: Its so fucking bad for some kinda idiot out there to just copy the writeup from oga flow. That's arrant nonsense. We ve got to fight the guy with everything.

don't get me wrong, he hasn't copy-pasted oga flows story, but if he is not warned, he will do it someday.. So he should be warned, not to copy anybody's work without the author's consent, let's just hope has repented and stopped