frank3.16:


ahhh... ok if i have to vote first. wait for it....................... Tenth generation. i have something similar to that in mind and i will start once am through with this... its going to be titled "secrets of the Gods" or "The last Outcast"

i wasn't opportuned to read d tenth generation. U modified it during plagiarist loose

Rap maestro: i wasn't opportuned to read d tenth generation. U modified it during plagiarist loose

Ehya! U misd out. @Frank,i also tink the tenth generation s leadin but till ds story is completed b4 one can rilli tell. But dont get me wrong,ds s also superb

Superb Write-up!..
Need some clarificatn though.

Error1. 'Isn't this the 1st tym you guys are failing on your mission?'

i think it shld b d 3rd tym...,,cz d 1st was when Adanna left d saloon n dey failed,, d 2nd was @d hospital.

Error2.
''....the Omenka boys have and informant''
Guess it it should b 'an'

Error3.
''it was a Sunday Evning....''
The use of 'I' was omitted

you still haven't told us how the three staffs were killed @d hospital or would the character 'Joe' do d narratn?

Rap maestro: i wasn't opportuned to read d tenth generation. U modified it during plagiarist loose

i uploaded it again... u can go and read it

Candis009: Ehya! U misd out. @Frank,i also tink the tenth generation s leadin but till ds story is completed b4 one can rilli tell. But dont get me wrong,ds s also superb

i understand nd agree with u baby

iebanehita: Superb Write-up!..
Need some clarificatn though.

Error1. 'Isn't this the 1st tym you guys are failing on your mission?'

i think it shld b d 3rd tym...,,cz d 1st was when Adanna left d saloon n dey failed,, d 2nd was @d hospital.

Error2.
''....the Omenka boys have and informant''
Guess it it should b 'an'

Error3.
''it was a Sunday Evning....''
The use of 'I' was omitted

you still haven't told us how the three staffs were killed @d hospital or would the character 'Joe' do d narratn?

error one: mission here implies the whole getting addana thing, starting from the first day they started going after here. what that statement implied was that the boys have always been successful, remember they where his most trusted allies, but had totally failed in the mission to get adanna.

error tow and three noted and wikk be effected, thanks/

lastly... dont worry, what led to the death of the three staff will be revealed

frank3.16:



error one: mission here implies the whole getting addana thing, starting from the first day they started going after here. what that statement implied was that the boys have always been successful, remember they where his most trusted allies, but had totally failed in the mission to get adanna.

error tow and three noted and wikk be effected, thanks/

lastly... dont worry, what led to the death of the three staff will be revealed

Noted.

iebanehita: Superb Write-up!..
Need some clarificatn though.

you still haven't told us how the three staffs were killed @d hospital or would the character 'Joe' do d narratn?

oops, sorry iebanehita, you got me confused with that question and i obviously answered it wrongly. i thought i did some explanation concerning this issue when Adanna regained her memory and described what happened at the hospital... she saw the bodies of two staff when she peeped for the her room door in the hospital and also so when the two thugs were malhandling the third... or wasnt that clear enought? pls let me know what u think

okay, guys. thanks for your patience. i will definately try and upload this evening.

frank3.16:


i uploaded it again... u can go and read it

mehn! I'll surely do dat. Thanks bro

Just Through With The First Page, Will Devour The Second Tomorrow. Nice Story, Very Captivating.

Frank, beautifully done.
But at your leisure time, I want you to go over that fight scene again. Once again well done.

Larry-Sun:
Just Through With The First Page, Will Devour The Second Tomorrow. Nice Story, Very Captivating.

welcome back Larry... hope u have fun reading this... and please i will need ur detailed criticism, thanks

luvmijeje: Frank, beautifully done.
But at your leisure time, I want you to go over that fight scene again. Once again well done.

alright luvmi... but i would have love to know whu u want me to and what u think about it.

i am really sorry guys for nt updating yet... i relapsed yesterday and got a little depresses. but i am better now and working on the next update... i am also trying to thicken this story so that the remaining part will be more interesting. hopefully i will upload this evening or in the morning.

frank3.16:

welcome back Larry... hope u have fun reading this... and please i will need ur detailed criticism, thanks

No , I'm Not Gonna Criticize Now, I'll Just Enjoy The Story. Done With Chapter Seven. Very Interesting, Love The Twist. A Story Without Twists Can Be tiring. You're Good, Frank. I Plan To Read More Chapters Later In The Day.

Larry-Sun:
No , I'm Not Gonna Criticize Now, I'll Just Enjoy The Story. Done With Chapter Seven. Very Interesting, Love The Twist. A Story Without Twists Can Be tiring. You're Good, Frank. I Plan To Read More Chapters Later In The Day.

u dey vex? Oga, critic now jorh..

Frank I will give you pointers by asking the following questions. How were the crowd and the cars dispersed with a cutlass and an axe? Chinedu and jack didn't bring any weapons to the scene, how were they able to wound Joe with an axe?
In my opinion, I will suggest the fight scene should be set in a less busy place if you are not going to make use of a gun and the witness who will report to the police should be briefly introduced.

Chapter 9

Wednesday

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luvmijeje: Frank I will give you pointers by asking the following questions. How were the crowd and the cars dispersed with a cutlass and an axe? Chinedu and jack didn't bring any weapons to the scene, how were they able to wound Joe with an axe?
In my opinion, I will suggest the fight scene should be set in a less busy place if you are not going to make use of a gun and the witness who will report to the police should be briefly introduced.

i didnt talk about crowd being dispersed. perhaps i should have pointed that the road was a lonely one (my bad). jack was injured and not joe. i was meant to write jack, will modify immediately (thanks)

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frank3.16:


i didnt talk about crowd being dispersed. perhaps i should have pointed that the road was a lonely one (my bad). jack was injured and not joe. i was meant to write jack, will modify immediately (thanks)

You alluded there was a crowd when inspector Bassey was was having flashback of how he got to know what happen. You wrote Chinedu escaped by running into the crowd.

luvmijeje:
You alluded there was a crowd when inspector Bassey was was having flashback of how he got to know what happen. You wrote Chinedu escaped by running into the crowd.

ya but i didnt say anything about dispersing them. they couldnt have been there waiting for the event (fight) to happen. remember this fight could have happened in less than ten minutes. dont you think it is normal to have people to start gathering after they saw that it was a bunch of guys fighting on the street, and not armed robbers like the man in black Honda thought.
beside definitely one or two people must have witnessed what happened from afar.
and i didnt think describing the witness was necessary since anybody would have talked to the cops, not just one person even.

Frank, pls humour me, we are talking of the Omneka's boyz. The bad boyz and the popular jingo of owerri. They are the only one that will dear blocked the road leading to police station and u are saying there was no crowd.
Coz when u are explaining Benson and bodyguard u said the Omnekas were popular.
Agree with u about the witnesses if it were more than 1 or there is a crowd.

frank3.16:


oops, sorry iebanehita, you got me confused with that question and i obviously answered it wrongly. i thought i did some explanation concerning this issue when Adanna regained her memory and described what happened at the hospital... she saw the bodies of two staff when she peeped for the her room door in the hospital and also so when the two thugs were malhandling the third... or wasnt that clear enought? pls let me know what u think

okay, guys. thanks for your patience. i will definately try and upload this evening.

The explanatn wasn't detailed. Since Adanna cannot possibly explained hw the 3staffs tried to obstruct d mission of Chinedu n Jack in gettng her, you make it sound lyk the priest's boys went on a killing spree @d hospital.

luvmijeje: Frank, pls humour me, we are talking of the Omneka's boyz. The bad boyz and the popular jingo of owerri. They are the only one that will dear blocked the road leading to police station and u are saying there was no crowd.
Coz when u are explaining Benson and bodyguard u said the Omnekas were popular.
Agree with u about the witnesses if it were more than 1 or there is a crowd.

luvmi... i really dont think there was any other this could have been written. yes they were popular, but the crown wont follow them where ever they go. neither did they announce to the whole owerri about their mission, besides they only blocked the road when they saw the siena, not before it come along. all these while they were just waiting at the junction. the whole fight wouldnt have happened in more that five minutes. except the crowd was already waiting there right from the begining of the attack.
dont u think the first reaction of citizen would be to run for cover? or was i wrong to make the black honda attemp to escape? should he have stayed knowing it was the omenka boys? crown would naturally start forming when they find out that the boys were just figthing on the street. which they did and that enabled chinedu to escape.

iebanehita:

The explanatn wasn't detailed. Since Adanna cannot possibly explained hw the 3staffs tried to obstruct d mission of Chinedu n Jack in gettng her, you make it sound lyk the priest's boys went on a killing spree @d hospital.

ok, i will put in more details in subsequent upload, thanks

Frank,there is point in what you wrote, is just that you didn't state it in your write-up. Lets move on.

luvmijeje: Frank,there is point in what you wrote, is just that you didn't state it in your write-up. Lets move on.

thanks... i will definately put all these in consideration when i finally edit for publishing. the editing for cyber lover is through and i took all criticism into consideration and brought the story into perfection.

in fact i thank nairaland for that. all ur comments and criticisms are duly noted.

frank3.16:


thanks... i will definately put all these in consideration when i finally edit for publishing. the editing for cyber lover is through and i took all criticism into consideration and brought the story into perfection.

in fact i thank nairaland for that. all ur comments and criticisms are duly noted.

That's good..

Hi Frank, nice updates.

When you said Joe(Jack, not sure) got a gash on the neck, I guessed his jugulars were slashed along with it. Or is it possible for one to get stabbed in the neck (from below the skull to the top of the shoulder, the jugular vein runs), and not die almost immediately.

You may want to look into that.



Nice one. #keep it up☼

mollytinrox: Hi Frank, nice updates.

When you said Joe(Jack, not sure) got a gash on the neck, I guessed his jugulars were slashed along with it. Or is it possible for one to get stabbed in the neck (from below the skull to the top of the shoulder, the jugular vein runs), and not die almost immediately.

You may want to look into that.



Nice one. #keep it up☼

well, a friend of mine was once slashed on his neck, just above the shoulder and he didnt die. this bled for a long time until he fainted, but he survived. the cut was deep and the doctors considered it a miracle he survived beacsue he didnt get immediate medical attention. now while u have a point, remember there are still cases where victims survive, i guess something like that happened to jack... thanks