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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise (44927 Views)
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Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by Sucre3(f): 9:11am On May 14, 2013 |
ogugua88: [size=13pt]What I'm getting from this is that you once believed cheating was wrong, but because you're now a cheat yourself, your perspective has changed? Give me a break. Is dat al u can say, at least she av a conscience n she's tryin 2 pull out, $a dear sis u wuld 4get abt him totally wit time av bin der b4 n knw hw it feels, jst take things easy wit urself n go bck 2 ur bf n b good, we make mistakes, knowing we av made 1 n turnin bck makes u a better person, Cheers... |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by euphoria: 9:42am On May 14, 2013 |
Op, if you are not careful you would do the same thing again with another married man. You committed 2 sins here. 1. Cheated on your boyfriend 2. Slept with another woman's husband It needs to be clear in your mind why you did what you did. That is something that has been missing in your posts. If you cannot ascertain what made you slip a correct it, you would do it again. Also if you plan t continue your relationship with y bf, you need to tell him and ask for forgiveness. Of he finds out in future, it would be worse for both of you. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by hyelhira: 9:47am On May 14, 2013 |
You are not a serious-minded individual. Are you saying that being able to condone immorality is now a symbol or measure of growth? There are so many things I wont be caught doing. Stealing for one. Tattooing my body or going about butt-naked among others. But I will give you a more practical example. In 2005 I was in Borno State for NYSC while my fiancee was in Ogun State. During the course of the youth service, I got a job with a bank. There was this beautiful girl, a secretary in a legal office on the same floor as the audit firm I served in, who was so into me. She said she liked me so much and usually asked when I would take her out. I used to avoid her because (i) I made a promise to my fiancee and (ii) I didn't want to toy with her emotion. Then one Friday around 4 pm, she came to the bank dressed to kill in this sexy attire. By the way, I was in the marketing department and I could have pretended to be out on a marketing call. I say her through the window and I knew there was no way I would be able to keep my resolve if I went out with her. So I called my fellow corper and sent him to tell the lady that I was "not available". All the guys in the bank taunted me and said I was "not sharp". I agree because such sharpness will only bring me to the state where I will be saying, "I am telling you, that even as I type this I am in shock that this could happen to me", just like you. Aleovera: 5 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by dudet(f): 9:57am On May 14, 2013 |
I think it is important for us not to judge; I have a friend who once cheated on her boyfriend while they were dating, but eventually got married to him. I saw her recently and she seemed very happy with her life, has two kids with the guy she married. My point is everyone DOES have a moment of insanity; the issue then becomes, do we act it out? Some people are more morally inclined than others and strongly believe that there would always be future implications for engaging in things like that. The truth is it all takes the grace of God; so know matter how judgmental or "holy" you think you are, it is important to put these things in perspective, it is all by God's grace. So let he who thinks he stands, take heed lest he falls. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by dudet(f): 10:01am On May 14, 2013 |
@Aleovera, pls dont mind my rambling, it is important for you to remove yourself from where ever the married guy is; delete his bb profile from ur fone, number from your whatsapp, facebook, any and everything that may remind you of him if you r truly serious about ending this (if it hasnt ended yet o). It's good that you have opted to take the time off your relationship; it will allow you focus better on yourself and what you truly want out of life (learn to be happy with just been by yourself). |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by codedguy1(m): 10:04am On May 14, 2013 |
ogugua88: Whatever reason is given for someone cheating whether justifyable or not should be condemned. It is bad. But things like this will always happen, its not the first time and would certainly not be the last, we are all trying prayerfull or physically not to fall into this kind of thing while others are actually targeting married partners deliberately. Let me play the devils advocate, we can condemn the OP as much as we like but what if its just a circles making the round. What if this is a punishment for the guy's wife who may have done this to some other woman or women? Not saying she can not be faithful to her husband. Just saying. If Nairaland survives many years to come we will see another self confession about how someone slept with a married man, not knowing na this OP husband and then we have Ogugua and her likes taking a swipe at her. OP pray and ask for forgiveness!! 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by pweetymama(f): 10:06am On May 14, 2013 |
dudet: I think it is important for us not to judge; I have a friend who once cheated on her boyfriend while they were dating, but eventually got married to him. I saw her recently and she seemed very happy with her life, has two kids with the guy she married.so,did she cheat on her bf with a married man or fall in love with d said married man?go thru d OP's post again. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by pweetymama(f): 10:08am On May 14, 2013 |
coded guy:its same tin we r saying.it will likely be OP's fate too. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by phinter: 10:14am On May 14, 2013 |
Isn't it funny the person you guys are trying to help is not responding anymore? I hope this topic ends here. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by ebila(m): 11:07am On May 14, 2013 |
@OP All i can say to you is,whatsoever a man sows,that he'll reap.Even though you tried making a point as to why you started this thread,i still am not sure what the reason for starting this blog is.Plus,you're not sounding remorseful,but then again,remorse doesn't come mostly,until when the fruit of our actions start yielding. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by Finestlex(m): 11:09am On May 14, 2013 |
[quote author=Aleovera]Ogugua, thank you for the welcome. Honestly babe I understand why you seem so vexed and can relate with the passion your post exudes. Reason is I have been at the very place you are. I think you kinda misunderstood the content of my post, I did not leave my boyfriend for a married man, ( I fell in love not loose my mind). The reason I took a break was not to play the victim as you also wrongly assumed, but to re-evaluate things. I have no intention of stealing any woman's man because I do not see myself having a meaningful relationship with a man who is already taken. Like I said, this thread is to assist all(myself included) who have been entangled in wring relationships to take the bold step of getting out by discussing meaningful ways to do that. Get rid of the judgmental attitude. #Your post was for the public to read and comment.. "Judge not for you may not be judged" as the saying goes.. You judged people who indulged in this act.. What do you expect? Am not condemning you here cos no man is perfect... Life is all about growth and experiences.. The deed has already been done.. You must not live with guilt all the days of your life cos of this evil act.. Go and confess your sins to God, your bf and that man's wife... (Becareful so that woman won't slaughter you) All you need is forgiveness and change from those ways.. From your little story, you're still a good chick and can still maintain your standards like before if you wish to.. Goodluck swt |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by dexter1983(m): 12:04pm On May 14, 2013 |
Aleovera: Hello house, WATEVER U SOW U MUST REAP.U ARE PUTTING ASUNDER TO A GODLY ENTITY CALLED MARRAGE IN D NAME OF FEELINS...RUBBISH!CHANGE OR U SUFFER STRONGLY FOR IT.DISCIPLINE IS NOT DOING THE CONVINIENT BUT DOING THE RIGHT THING...CHANGE,I HATE CHEATS LIKE YOU!IF I WERE UR GUY...U R LONG GONE...CANT COPE WITH CHEATS...U BETTER LEAV THAT CURSED UNION U CALLED FEELINGS TO A MARRIED MAN,ITS A CURSE ELSE U WILL BURN WITH TIME!CHANGE! |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by dexter1983(m): 12:14pm On May 14, 2013 |
ogugua88: [size=13pt]What I'm getting from this is that you once believed cheating was wrong, but because you're now a cheat yourself, your perspective has changed? Give me a break. I LIK D WAY U CONDEMN CLEARLY WAT SHE HAS DONE BUT SHE STILL TRYIN TO JUSTIFY HER POSITION...U AV DONE UR BIT,,,IF SHE LIKES SHE CAN ALLOW HER FEELINGS TO RUIN A HAPPY HOME,BUT ONE THING SHE MUST KNOW IS DAT HER OWN HOME TOO WILL NEVER BE SAFE.ITS NOT A CURSE,ITS CALLED KARMA...WATEVR U SOW U REAP...U DONT JOKE WIT A HAPPY OWN JUST because OF SOME SELFISH FEELINS IN D NAME OF "I AM IN LOVE". 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by wealthyk: 12:15pm On May 14, 2013 |
i am really intrigued with the conversation that has been going on with this topic and i must say that, 'to ere is human, to forgive is divine'. Well, babe, you must cut ties with this fellow and fast too, no matter what he has said or being saying to you. cut him off!!!! did u guys ever sleep with each other or is it just emotional cheating you did? i.e. you admire him, you fantasize about him etc....? if you have slept with him, how do you feel when your bf does same to you? You see gf, no matter how you paint it, YOU MUST CUT OFF FROM HIM!!!!! no matter how uneasy it may seem and pls give your Life to Christ and accept Him as your Savior so that you dont perish as this may be your chance. Not that you wont be tempted even in Christ, but He will give you Grace to overcome it.God bless you!!! |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by Nobody: 12:25pm On May 14, 2013 |
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Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by Nobody: 12:29pm On May 14, 2013 |
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Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by Nobody: 1:33pm On May 14, 2013 |
Aw can u lov ur BF nd stil fall in lov wit anoda man ![]() "If u lov 2 people at d same time, choose d 2nd person cus if u truely lov d 1st u wunt fal for d 2nd..!! U dunt luv ur BF #SHIKENA |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by flyforall: 5:20pm On May 14, 2013 |
@op whatever you resist persists Karma is also a big bad bitch She will come bck n bite u in d ass 1. Ask God for forgiveness 2. Set him free(ur bf) with the truth |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by dBard: 6:36pm On May 14, 2013 |
Bobajo: People of high moral standing all over this thread!!! I am so impressed. But please consider: take this at ur own risk.. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by Stopercent: 7:09pm On May 14, 2013 |
I dey feel this Aloevera chic. I was once in your boyfriend's shoes. In my case, I was blissfully unaware until she confessed to me cause the guilt was killing her. I told her that even if my mum had told me of her unfaithfulness, I would not have believed. I would have only believed if it came from her. It did and I was devastated. As painful as it was, all I wanted from her was an explanation as to why she did it. I wanted to know whether it was the sex or the money or what ![]() Aloevera. What ever you do, don't tell that man(your bf). Even if you want to call it quits, just give another excuse. There are very few men with hearts big enuf to forgive this sort of crime. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by avr247: 9:18pm On May 14, 2013 |
Its either u made up dis story or u r simply dumb. D same man u r trying to stop dating u r calling dude. Keep of ur dirtywork and stop disturbing us on NL |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by silverluci(f): 10:14pm On May 14, 2013 |
Toks2008: Why wouldn't your wife want another when by this time you are still on NL instead of doing your duty! Abi u dey do watchman work? |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by webbjamie(m): 10:41pm On May 14, 2013 |
Aleovera: Hello house, What you did was wrong but since you have obstinately refused to admit it and turn...Just keep calm KARMA USUALLY TAKES HER SWEET TIME WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by avr247: 11:01pm On May 14, 2013 |
apocalypse: Dis aloevera girl made dis story up. She I so fake anyhow I will still criticize her. Like and love the judgement and criticism u get her, sebi u want attention, never get married oh, cos ur own dey front. Ashawo, I wonder where the moral u claimed u had was. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by avr247: 11:17pm On May 14, 2013 |
I still feel like spraying fumigation fluid to dis aloevera. Its only in nigeria women who cheats will try to canvas the reason why they cheated so as to make use buy the picture. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by mariawebb: 8:05am On May 15, 2013 |
wow.i commend you for coming out here and telling us what you did. Yes, this will serve a lesson to many. And admitting your fault is just the first step to correcting it. So just hang in there. pokies |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by siobahn: 10:39am On May 15, 2013 |
ogugua88: I like this Ogugua, you be correct babe. Your posts dey spit fire and brimstone. Me thinks the Op will prefer koboko to your lashing. But to be quite honest, I totally agree wiv you. We make our own choices which are based on our desires. @Op, cut ties with the married man completely if you want to be free of the leprosy of adultery and stop fantasizing about him. Then if you have any atom of love for your boyfriend, you need to come clean and let him know what you have been doing behind him. You cannot build a successful relationship with him if you can keep that kind of crime to yourself. Remember the way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it. Karma is a b***h 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by ruthbassey311: 4:20pm On May 15, 2013 |
clearly, I understand u. yes u were caught off guard but maybe u shud try: 1. praying more often 2. not calling married guy 3. telling ur partner id he is matured. if he oath he'd understand but if he's nt. instead tell a friend dat u trust (your accountability partner) 4. set limits lyk nt going to a place were u knw u'd find him or meeting him n romantic places or even lonely places. tell ur accountability partner so she can help u with dis. 5. start doing something wen u think about him. I think desert few will help. and others pls stop being judgmental and hypocritical lyk d pharisees cos at one tym or another u've also done something wrong, si dn't think u r any better. |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by clintwine(m): 5:39pm On May 15, 2013 |
After going through this whole thread, a story comes to mind When multitude of people gathered to stone a woman to death for adultery They met Jesus thinking he will be in support, he is the son of God and people like this woman are condemned to hell, but he said: He that has done no wrong, let him be the first to cast the stone. And guess what, the adulterer walked away And Jesus said sin no more @op, you have crossed the first step, which is you knowing you did the wrong thing the second step is "sin no more" :- which is sort yourself out and do the right thing 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise by ClitorialDept: 10:03pm On May 15, 2013 |
clintwine: After going through this whole thread, a story comes to mindno worry ur wife will cheat on u and when u find out no come yarn here make we helep u stone am |
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