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  I Caught My Pastor Banging My Girlfriend
« on: Today at 12:04:16 AM » 

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i feel so depressed. i usually drop her off for fellowship at her pastors house with other memebers. this day i dropped her earlier dan usual and drove off. i den remembered that i left my house keys and atm card in her handbag. i tried calling but her phone was off. i became suspicious and decided to make a u- turn. getting back to the pastors compound, the gate was left open so i walked in. ungetting to the door, the door was ajar as well so i went in straight to the parlour. then i hed a female voice saying "please don't stop now" and a male voice groaning. i immediately sneeaked upstairs where the voices where coming from. i found the room and in one swift motion i flung the door open

only to see the pastor and my babe naked in a doggy position! i was so pieced and not knowing what to do at that time i just walked out of the premises

Now she is calling me an apologizing. Am so confused cus this is a girl i have come to love. someone who has virtually made me what i am. the painful thing is that we are to get married in september. and guess who was to preside at the white wedding. the same pastor!

please i need some advice from u nairalanders what do i do. am so confused

I think it would have been better if this dude had dropped his wife to be at a club for some "Long Island Sweet Tea" as the blood of the holy sacrament.

Chei! Na wao. I being think say dis na place where people dey try to unburden themselves. Why all dis bashing from fellow nairalanders? I still don't think it's fair.

I see Nairaland as a place to get advice, share opinion, views, etc. But someone comes out real and we blast the person as if say we don 4get the reason for being here.
I believe we are getting what we cannot get from the world out there-all the advice and exchange of opinion, and all the others.
Abeg, make we learn to take am easy with ourselves, we should be constructive in our criticisms.
Most people after their posts, end up regretting, b'cos of the way most of us react. It's just not the best. If you don't have anything to say/post, then don't, for God sake!

any man has d rit to go where ever he wants when ever he wants.  wives shld learn to live wit dat. afta all d wives r d ones always leaving d house wit one excuse or d oda e.g going to market, going 4 fellowship, going to d hospital, n even at wrk who knows what dy r doing in all dis places at all tyms. n d only tym d man has to be alone u still want to go with him haba give him sum space so he doesn't choke to death.  

@^^
Thank u jare. Tell them.

somwtimes i visit night clubs,mainly taking my friends out to see shapes and figures.iam married though.

Any man that feels a need to be in a nightclub has no business being married in the first place. Im not saying that married couples have to spend every waking moment together but there are some habits or behaviors that need to end when one gets married. Most single guys hangout at clubs to pickup women, so why would a married man be in a nite club without his wifey.

Gamine:

LOL.

My point of view was simple enough for someone to call me a CROCK

Wowww.

Anyways, Husbands abeg ooh, go with your wifey if u must go
why is that so hard.
If you must do it alone, you set yourself up for rubbish
then i guess thats what most marriages are, from the beginning.

Do as you please sha, when the consequences come around
blame ONLY yourself.

yes, aboslutely lady temi.

Marriage these days means nothing!

In our african cultures yes - if it did you think ur hubby dare go to a nightclub alone!
we are adopting western values so whats important is the wife to live her life! ah ah

she too should find friends!!

mmhn

m gonna say this just once, i dont know who sheniqua, and co, i mean those it seems are not impresed with leila but am gonna say this, this is a public forum, and last i checked , we has sth called freedom of speech except of course in Naija, where this rights can be infringed upon under certain circumstance.(thats a mater for another day). so my advice to them is, whatever the poor chic has said on this thread doesnt mean or allow for us to be unruly with our tongues. this chic na foreigner, she needs some clarity, give it to her nicesly and not harshly, cos wat u guys are doing is further feuling the already rotten image, pple have about us.
as leilah, seeking explanation in terms of race for every unruly and animalistic action ur husband metes out on u, s totally awgwash!!!. cos everyman on the face of the earth, has the natural tendeny to cheat, adultery, wife batter, abuse, harrass tye list is endelss, so pls stop looking for answers that are unwarranted.look in wards and try to make amends.
sad though u chose the bad nigerain egg, it doesnt mean that every man in nigeria or from his tribe or wit his physique is wat your husband is.
i hope i have been able to convince and not confuse of the above.

@ Poster,

You call that CULTURE? No it VULTURE!

Dont ask if its the African specie.

Than come here with absurd questions, do some rationalisation first.

. . . My pride as an African is hurt. . .

Haba, must some ignoramuses' bullshit, 'mumuism', absurdity, racism, etc be spelt in capital letters? I am dsappointed at Leilah

Leila, don`t wory yourself about the haters. This is a very good topic. Xiomarra left me in stitches.I like that philosophy. That`s the only way to go. Concentrate on yourself as a woman, e.g empowering yourself and making yourself beautiful all the way.

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Be Fast.

@ ever body acccusing leilah
Kai, when will Nigerians ever reason straight before talking? Didn't u guys read the topic well b/4 questioning? Leilah hasn't said it's a Nigerian phenemenon, she's only asking if it's normal in our culture, she may have knowledge about other cultures too, abi was she supposed to ask Nigerians about Pakistani culture?

@ poster
It's not bad to attend clubs as a married man. But if the guy must, let him go with his wife, at least to differentiate him(who already has one) from others, bachelors there (who came to search). If the hussy won't go with his wifey, then the soluiton is simple - attend ur own girly clubs alone too. Most times I don't know why ladies fuss so much about their men - if ur man is doing something u don't like, retaliate by the same means openly so he gets to know that what a man can do, After all, P-Square sang "If u do me, I do you; man no go vex"

, or at least, pretend to retaliate if it's something u really don't feel is right to do or something that's sinful. Men are the most jealous animals on earth, and retaliation surely mellows him down (or at least makes him begin to act with some more respect for you)

yes exactly Wokeyim thanks very much.

Why do peeps always associate negative thots with night clubs?

What's wrong with anyone going to a night club??

It's not a brothel after all,

The problem we have is most nigerian men dont believe women should have fun they think its a mans duty to go out and the woman should sit at home and be grateful he returned to her at all.As for me no husband of mine will go to any club or disco house he can go out no problem but not openly tell me he is going to a club I think we women have taken enough bullshit from men because we are too desperate to be married men think theyy are too special and behave anyhow expecting us to thank them for marrying us.I remember one day i went out with my husband to a hotel and right beside us some men were bragging to their underaged girlfriends how they just leave home and how their wives dont dare ask them where theyve been they were so proud saying such stuff to girl friends and I know many men do the same thing and feel the same way.when they get HIV then they will know that wives are meant to stick by husbands but now that they are healthy wives wont have a right to stick by them club and the boys own them when all is going well

@ poster
Yes most nigerian men think they have the right to go anywhere club o ,hotel o, party o, anywhere without their wives cos most of them are unfaithful and they cant do runs with madam around.

When people dont know what a marriage is, advise

i dont know what the poor people will do.

Maybe b/c you're not Nigerian. lol Get use to it,

Most Nigerian women who I've met allow there husbands 2 do what ever they want, they will even turn there head when he brings home another baby from his slut girlfriend. they sit back and say nothing. I say it time women beat their men,

Hell no Frozen!!!!

Are you a NIGEIRAN WOMAN ?

Night clubs are not bad, they can go as a couple, or he can go alone if he/she trusts him/her its ok. As for Disco, I beleive those dont exist anymore, the faded away in the early 80's. What time did you warp from?

this iz exactly he reason why i do not wanna get married, women bickering!!!!! it is sooooo frustrating, ya'll think it's all 'bout your bloody selves eh, puh!!!!

@frozen no I'm not a nigerian lady. Why would any lady welcome their husbands mistresses child?

This would always be an ongoing issue. Women would never trust their husbands enough to go dancing but why should day. Men can be tempted by their shadow. Not all husbands are the same but the questions is, if they are going to dance who are they dancing with and how. A disco or club is not really a place for any married person except they are with their spouse. Women can be tempted as equally as a man.

www.myafriplace.com

simple they should not go without their wives cos i lot can just happen

Husband In Nite Clubs/discos
« on: May 27, 2008, 07:17 PM » 

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Hi all, I'm just wondering is it quite normal in your own culture for your husband to attend the above without you?

This does not apply to me but I see this with others sometimes.  I personally cannot and wont allow it and it has never been requested from me either.  Are you of the same view? like whether you trust your partner or not, these places are no good for married men as they are easily tempted.

So, lets say your husband falls in the door at 4.00am and you had been ringing his phone through the night and he doesnt answer and switches it off like. I know one person who doesnt even bother to call her husband, she just prays and goes to bed. He comes in at anytime, no questions asked. Is this normal?
 

i really dont understand y most nigerians think that marriage is a bondage of some sort,
wot re we not saying; this is a young man that has had his socials  from the word go
just the fact that he is married doesnt erase that fact.
first ;let me start with the men;
as far as infidelity is concerned my dear is obnoxious,
woteva motive anyone thinks abt nite clubs is d persons buisness cos i dont see anyoda place i can be attuned to the newest, loud hits nd discuss buisness if not there,
THEN D LADIES;
the samE u that tell us " this ur friend is a womaniser or d other, i simply do not want to c him anywherwe around my home or family" and we will gladly respect u and meet with him @ the club, the same man dat gives ur husband all the contracts dat keep food on the table.
how more hopeless can u pple describe men;
they can never put their thing in their pants, dey must be like dat,
if  ur husband is like dat then u have a little work 2 do.
from your tonacity, i percieve insecurity in your marriage but as far as im concerned, insecurity from an adult aint attractive,
where did the "sexiness" go after marriage, the smart looks, the daily pedicure and manicure,
those things that make him look into ur eyez and say "ur beautiful"
where re the slim fit, shapy, flat tommy
all of them re gone so y dont u think dat some attitudes will go?
u have failed to live up to ur responsibility as a wife nd ur here complaining
wots is d difference btw u and the girl next door?
why re the unmarried a threat?
if ur a  good company, he should be missn u and will be @ ur door 20 mins after close of work.your just looking for reasons to justify ur inadequacies
take dis advice
""your husband is ur man not your pet or toy" if u need something 2 play with fetch a "Love Machine" or a "teddy"

jp philips:

Husband In Nite Clubs/discos
« on: May 27, 2008, 07:17 PM »

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Hi all, I'm just wondering is it quite normal in your own culture for your husband to attend the above without you?

This does not apply to me but I see this with others sometimes. I personally cannot and wont allow it and it has never been requested from me either. Are you of the same view? like whether you trust your partner or not, these places are no good for married men as they are easily tempted.

So, lets say your husband falls in the door at 4.00am and you had been ringing his phone through the night and he doesnt answer and switches it off like. I know one person who doesnt even bother to call her husband, she just prays and goes to bed. He comes in at anytime, no questions asked. Is this normal?


i really don't understand y most nigerians think that marriage is a bondage of some sort,
wot re we not saying; this is a young man that has had his socials from the word go
just the fact that he is married doesnt erase that fact.
first ;let me start with the men;
as far as infidelity is concerned my dear is obnoxious,
woteva motive anyone thinks about night clubs is d persons buisness because i don't see anyoda place i can be attuned to the newest, loud hits nd discuss buisness if not there,
THEN D LADIES;
the samE u that tell us " this your friend is a womaniser or d other, i simply do not want to c him anywherwe around my home or family" and we will gladly respect u and meet with him @ the club, the same man that gives your husband all the contracts that keep food on the table.
how more hopeless can u people describe men;
they can never put their thing in their pants, dey must be like that,
if your husband is like that then u have a little work 2 do.
from your tonacity, i percieve insecurity in your marriage but as far as im concerned, insecurity from an adult aint attractive,
where did the "sexiness" go after marriage, the smart looks, the daily pedicure and manicure,
those things that make him look into your eyez and say "your beautiful"
where re the slim fit, shapy, flat tommy
all of them re gone so y don't u think that some attitudes will go?
u have failed to live up to your responsibility as a wife nd your here complaining
wots is d difference between u and the girl next door?
why re the unmarried a threat?
if your a good company, he should be missn u and will be @ your door 20 mins after close of work.your just looking for reasons to justify your inadequacies
take this advice
""your husband is your man not your pet or toy" if u need something 2 play with fetch a "Love Machine" or a "teddy"

WORD!!!

jp philips
its usual for a man to mess around and say its his wifes fault do you think you men dont change after marriage does that mean the woman should go outside the marriage to seek better times. I am tired of hearing men like you blame their short comming on women some even say pregnancy made them cheat a guy was even saying after the wife gave him beautiful babies that her v, gina doesnt please himanymore so i guess the womans life will always give a wayward man reasons to be wayward. if you f, up be a man and own it dont look for where to hang the blame i know many men with pretty wives who still go out and sleep with other women claiming variety is the spice of life.As for the man having social life before marriage do you think women dont have a life before marriage too.the poster was not saying her man shouldnt go out she was specificaly asking about all night clubing.will you allow your wife to do business or have fun with her friends in the club since you see it as normal.

brb

JJYOU:

brb

when? i want to know u better plz.