Lmao guy u funny die,d man go dram map of africa for ur yansh.

Waiting patiently ontop bed
*chatting with daniel*
:-D

ritababe: Waiting patiently ontop bed
*chatting with daniel*
:-D

hmmmmmm na wow o...hope say na only chattin sha because if e pass no popcorn and kunu for una...
Oya all of una lie up come collect kunu and popcorn
nice update da Rock waitin for da followup

ninja4life: Lmao guy u funny die,d man go dram map of africa for ur yansh.

just leave dat Uduak alone..in fact,I'm pitying him in advance already

"You better dont run anywhere"

His voice rang in my ear when as i turn to flee, i stopped in my tracks as he ordered me to come back which i did. Maybe he jazzed me or so i thought.

"So you wanted to sneak into the school while you were late abi? You are finished today"

"Sir please, i was not planning to sneak o, i just wanted to pick dirty and then go back"

"Dont worry, when big uncle hear that you want to pick dirty from back of schol you would what would happen to you"

"Sir please, forgive me, am sorry"

"Ow when you were blackmailing me to collect my money and bleep my girl you were not sorry isnt?"

"Sir that one is devil that caused it, i did not know what was wrong with me"

"Me too the devil is upon me now so dont worry when i get back to my real senses i would apologise"

"Sir i would do anything dont just exposed me"

"You said anything?"

"Yes sir anything"

"Ok lie down"

I knew what was coming next so i postrated like a yoruba man, the man gave me twenty four solid lashes which got me rolling like a mad man, at the end i told him thank you sir and smiled.

I was expecting him to let me go through the breached fence but i was suprised when he ordered me to go round and use the front gate.

After collecting another six lashes i stargered to the class and i was about entering when i saw Ebuka coming out from his and began walking to my direction.

"Guy how far na..."

A huge blow to my jaw made my two teeths shook heavily.. I wondered what brought me to school that day.

"Guy, na, na, na wetin i, i do na?"

I had turned to a starmerer because that blow might have been magical.

"So na you wan rape my sister abi?"

What, rape ke, the girl enjoy am na but i dare not tell him that.

"How i take rape your sister na?"

"She say you come my house, i been no dey so you start to toast her then when she no gree you wan come rape her"

"Guy, peter no fit do that kind thing, him get plenty babes na, better ask your sister well jare and dont touch this boy again"

Who else could stand for me if it was not my macho friend Julian who came to my defence. I wanted holding his mouth when he talked about that many babes issue because my hausa babe was also watching the show but it was too late.

Since he was much more stronger than Ebuka the guy had no choice but to leave me alone and sent me a never near my house again warning before going to his class.

I walked to go and greet my babe when she replied my greeting with a hot slap. I held my cheekc while holding back tears and said 'why'

"Go and ask your numerous babes that question, its over between us"

Daaaammmnn, this was my baddest day so far i school, i wondered if i offended God that morning, ofus i did, i forgot i just blackmailed, cheated and bleeped a girl the previous day.

I sat down in tears as Julian began comforting me while telling dry jokes which i managed to just laugh. Then the chemistry teacher walked in and we greeted.

"Good morning students, i just heard that small statued students have much clever brain than the bigger students so i want to test if that study is correct or not. Am going to pick a smallish student and ask him a question from our last week topic, lets see if they are truly brilliant"

A huge shiver took over my body, i had forgotten to read my books neither did i even bring the note to class. There were only four small students in the class which was i, julian,John and Sakar.

Julian flexed his muscles to look like a big caterpillar while John disappeared under his desk so he was invincible, Sakar ran out in a guise to go get chalk so it was the last man standing called Uduak Peter that was pointed out.

"Sir am not feeling well"

Ofcourse i was not feeling well, my as're was heavy with huge lines, my jaw hurt, i was heart broken and my note was not with me, Damn, i was cursed or so i thought.

"Dont worry, when i asked you dey question you would get well" he teased. In my mind i was like bros you no go understand jare.

"Define the polarization of solids"

I stood looking like a dead man without any life in it.

"Sir no idea"

"Whhat, is this not what i taught enough last week and you all said he understood, oya go and stand outside the sun now, dull small boy".

"Sir i am not dull" i muttered while passing him but he heard me.

"Carry a book outside and write, am a dull boy to the end"

That was how i stood under the sun waiting for him to release me while writing 'am a dull boy' painfully cus that was my only empty book available.

The next lesson was CRS, at the sight of the man i knew there was bound to be trouble because he was dead drunk.

And i was right, trouble and wahala became my nick name that day...

To Be Continued...

Make i go watch united, by God grace we go survive.

Oga hackerjay-ova to u.

Next update by 11pm.

Still i rock

Chiamaka01:

What kind of censoring is this? Which one is canine style again?

that`s doqqy style, nairaland and censorinq na sanqo qo divorce 'em|

nice one uduak¡ more doq meat to your soup|

for the censored words...!
ऽ`molestation - r`ape
ऽ`bleep - f`uck

chairman u dey try,thumbs up!

Hahaha man u manage draw, na God save una head.
I hope u nor go verse go sleep oh

The rock5555: "You better dont run anywhere"
"Ok lie down"

I knew what was coming next so i postrated like a yoruba man, the man gave me twenty four solid lashes which got me rolling like a mad man, at the end i told him thank you sir and smiled.

After collecting another six lashes i stargered to the class and i was about entering when i saw Ebuka coming out from his class and began walking to my direction.

"Guy how far na..."

A huge blow to my jaw made my two teeths shook heavily.. I wondered what brought me to school that day.

I walked to go and greet my babe when she replied my greeting with a hot slap. I held my cheekc while holding back tears and said 'why'

"Go and ask your numerous babes that question, its over between us"

Daaaammmnn, this was my baddest day so far i school, i wondered if i offended God that morning, ofus i did, i forgot i just blackmailed, cheated and bleeped a girl the previous day.

"Good morning students, i just heard that small statued students have much clever brain than the bigger students so i want to test if that study is correct or not. Am going to pick a smallish student and ask him a question from our last week topic, lets see if they are truly brilliant"

A huge shiver took over my body, i had forgotten to read my books neither did i even bring the note to class. There were only four small students in the class which was i, julian,John and Sakar.

Julian flexed his muscles to look like a big caterpillar while John disappeared under his desk so he was invincible, Sakar ran out in a guise to go get chalk so it was the last man standing called Uduak Peter that was pointed out.

"Sir am not feeling well"

Ofcourse i was not feeling well, my as're was heavy with huge lines, my jaw hurt, i was heart broken and my note was not with me, Damn, i was cursed or so i thought.

"Dont worry, when i asked you dey question you would get well" he teased. In my mind i was like bros you no go understand jare.

"Define the polarization of solids"

I stood looking like a dead man without any life in it.

"Sir no idea"

"Whhat, is this not what i taught enough last week and you all said he understood, oya go and stand outside the sun now, dull small boy".

"Sir i am not dull" i muttered while passing him but he heard me.

"Carry a book outside and write, am a dull boy to the end"

That was how i stood under the sun waiting for him to release me while writing 'am a dull boy' painfully cus that was my only empty book available.

The next lesson was CRS, at the sight of the man i knew there was bound to be trouble because he was dead drunk.

And i was right, trouble and wahala became my nick name that day...

To Be Continued...

only u in one day?

ritababe: Hahaha man u manage draw, na God save una head.
I hope u nor go verse go sleep oh

why him go vex even if him lose him go come update no fear

@skyscraper-4get them and their sensor words na common r:ape nai dem dey write molestation, see as the tin make d passage look stupid.

@paccuni-tanks man

@ritababe-na so, tank God we draw, so short update go dey.

@kingphilip-na my head e happen for one day o. I hate myself dat day, but to sin na bad tin o

@hackerjay- dude i love u, i mean i feel u jare.

Rocket mood acticated..

The rock5555: @skyscraper-4get them and their sensor words na common r:ape nai dem dey write molestation, see as the tin make d passage look stupid.

@paccuni-tanks man

@ritababe-na so, tank God we draw, so short update go dey.

@kingphilip-na my head e happen for one day o. I hate myself dat day, but to sin na bad tin o

@hackerjay- dude i love u, i mean i feel u jare.

Rocket mood acticated..

tor da Rock mu na jiran ka

"What is this little foool doing under the sun, my friend jump into the class"

I ran into the class as the man walked in drunkenly....

"Good afternoon sir..."

"Abeg leave the afternoon, i wanted to sleep its just because of you students stupid lesson thats why i even came here self"

"What was our last topic?"

"Sir , Jesus and his girl friend"

Sakar shouted from the back and the class vibrated with laughter.

"Ohhhh God, why are small boys always stubborn? My friend come out here"

"Gim"

"Yeah my head" Sakar shouted as a thunder bolt knock was arranged on his big head, even Osita could not stop laughing.

"Who laughed last?"

"Osita" we all screamed.

"Osita do you want to get your own knock?"

"No sir" he said with a coarse voice as we grinned from teeth to teeth.

"Ok back to our lessons, i was teaching about the life and ministry of Jesus christ"

We knew that he was saying rubbish but who wont play along when a hot knock on your head is at stake.

"So today we are going to learn about how Jesus used a woman's hair to wipe his feet. Was Jesus insane?"

"Noo, sirrr" i think he was the one that was insane or so i thought.

"Thats good. But before our lesson starts, i want to ask you students a question.

Did you remember when Joseph and Mary flee from bethlehem to Egypt in Africa, is'nt it"

"Yes sir"

"Thats why the popular musician 'parnaam percy paul' sang the song about if he eats apku, Jesus also ate apku.

So do you students believed that Jesus may have drank palm wine, since we africans drink it?"

We busted into laughter as we knew what the man had been high on, he must have been tryping to justify his drinking habits or so i thought but i was not ready to have any share of it.

"Sir Jesus did not drink palm wine"

"What, are you saying am a sinner and that palmwine is not good?"

"Yes sir"

"Do you know that Jesus also ate obgono soup?"

"No sir"

"You see, you are here forming clever boy, do you know how much class am deying. You must be mad.

"Infact am angry now, i want you students to write the way of preparation of obgono soup and submit it before i come back to the class"

We all looked at him in anger and bemuse, we wondered when he left c.r.s and started teaching home managements or was it what his lesson note send him to teach.

"Sir when did you see Jesus eating the obgono soup" i asked the man.

A hot knock misplaced some alphabets in my brain due to its head breaking power.

I showed that man i was a real cook by naming all the igredients while including special additions like chicken meat, goat and even cow, am sure Jesus stomach would have been rumbling from heaven in malady of the thoughts of my soup when prepared. A thunder hit the sky to comfirm my thoughts.

We submitted while some students grumbled of how the man was turning his class into different nuisances but who dare stop him when you risk getting a brain shattering knock.

The notes arrived as they justled to collect theirs, i begged Julian to collect mine for me.

I thought about all the things i passed through that day and i wondered how i survived it all.

"Guy dem no see your note, sakar say the man say make him leave your own, say he would bring it by himself for you"

My mind sensed trouble but i dismised it as one of my fake hunches when i sighted the man coming with a fat cane.

"Who have this note?"

"No answer"

"Peter uduak"

"No be you dem dey call" Julian hit me.

"Leave me o, na by force to answer my name?"

The man planted a hot stroke on my head when he found out that i was the one.

"I am going to read what this foolish boy wrote in his assignment"

"How to prepare obgono soup.

Ingredients- salt, maggi, onions, cry fish...."

He wrote cry fish on the board as the whole class started teasing me and calling me cry fish.

"Since he is cry fish let me exercise his buttocks with my sweet cane"

After another three strokes he flinged my book at me which i caught before it could tear off, i saw a big zero with my teeth and ears drawn on it.i almost broke into tears when the man finally left and the whole class started shouting 'cry fish" at me as i finally walked home.

I went home miserably and i promised myself never to blackmail even lizard again. Its not fun jare.

My confidence and moral had reduce drastically becasue of the amount of cane i took in one day, i also lost a girlfriend which made me sadder.

"Cry fish did not sound bad afterall"

i never knew how bad i had digress into loneliness until i went with my siblings to a birthday party.

The daughter of the soldier man who i broke his car glass window with football and denied was having her birthday party. Since she was friends with my siblings they were invited to go while i followed them so as to protest them from any danger.

"Na wetin fit happen for children birthday party sef wey na pikins go full am, mtchheeww.

But i saw my soulmate that day or so i thought...

To Be Continued...

Nite y'all.

To be continued
dis one na b4 u sleep or b4 i sleep

@Kingphilip- go prepare food jare, u dey talk about to be continued

@hackerjay-one word for u- Genius.

Good morning y'all. Make i see weda i fit drop early morning update.

And make una dey try dey atleast like this oga hackerjay prev on preachers son, since una no wan like my updates. The dude dey try..

Typing..

@kingphilip
next tim if u quote the whole writeup me and u go wear 1 rapper
@hackerjay
am loving u already
@rock
this ur "or so thought" make me think of flow are you his fans

ritababe: @kingphilip
next tim if u quote the whole writeup me and u go wear 1 rapper

#clears throat wit my chewing stick waka into thread# wow see beta offer o hope dan no go de around dat tym sha

una goodmorning, inaquana, ekaro, ututuoma

qood morninq uduak and the entire crew of the preacher's son¡

eagerly waitinq for the next update|

THE BIRTHDAY PARTY
******************

"Uduak please, mummy said you should take us to a birthday party"

My younger sister said to me when she found me laying down in my room daydreaming, she was a little bit scared because i hate people obstructing my ideas and thoughts.

I had broken up or will i say was red-carded by the hausa babe in my class, Mercy had been behaving somehow to me, maybe because i did not gave her too much attetion.

I was so low on self esteem that even go to the field to paly football was a problem, my form had dipped and i was benched regularly and a huge depression had washed over me.

I turned slowly and looked at her, ever since i stopped watching evening programmes with them they had never disturbed me alot, am sure they would be glad that i was out off mischief for a while, my dad was even becoming proud of me again.

"Whose birthday is that?"

"Its that jennifar's own" she said cheerfully but i quickly jumped up.

"You mean the soldier man's daughter?"

"Yes na, the birthday is in their house in 72barracks, she invited us, mummy said we should ask either you or sister to follow us because the place is too far, please agree, the girl said she also want you to come self"

Uhm, now what has karma have in stock for me, i hope i wont be disgraced in the birthday party by those barrack boys. The girl Jennifer was just my younger sister's mate but she was one of the people that calls me husband and she even kiss me on my cheeks once.

She was the only child of her parents or so i thought because she was the only one coming to church with her parents, anyway, wether she told my sister to invite me or my sister said it to pull me along i fell for it.

"Ok wait let me dress finish, i would go with you guys"

"Yeah, thats my big bros" she shouted before running out to go tell my mother and siblings that i was going with them. I smiled at her childishness and quickly dressed up.

I called Idowu and Kolo who quickly agreed to join me because i never trusted those barrack boys, they could mend someone fuckup anytime but since we make up three lanky team they agreed.

I called my macho friend Julian who promised to meet us at his house Junction, yeah my outing would be perfect.

I walked to the door after spraying the perfume i stole from my dad's room(the man find am tire because na from lagos him buy am). I was looking cool. But the appearances of my siblings were super cool, they were dressed like they were going for a christmas outing.

"Una too much jare, am sure una go pass celebrant fine" i flattered them as they grinned they were performing close up advert.

We met Kolo and Idowu then walked to the junction, took a bus and went to pick Julian before going to 72barracks. We stopped at the gate and called the celebrant father to come pick us.

He complimented our dressing and told Julain that he would be the master of ceremony which excited the dude.

We landed there and saw a large group of people already there, Mehn girls that had big asset were all on display, barrack boys were busy doing what they knew best, they were chasing every thing in skirt that answered their gibbrish talks.

"Guy, see babbbes" Julian exclaimed with his big eyes wide open.

"Make we go arrange them jare"

"Abeg free me, i no get time for girls now, i get them plenty"

Truth was that i was so low on swagger that i was not ready to disgrace myself in front of any girl.

They all left me to catch their different fishes when i sighted some group of girls, they were four in number and i noticed that no guy was even going near to them.

Abi barrack boys no dey see this babes, i kept staring at them when a short black dude with sagging trousers that showed a black boxer walked on to them.

I sneaked alittle close to them to hear the drama correctly.

"How far babes, my name is tiam"

"Hey babe did you watch the gardners daughter last night, that episode was cool" they kept on talking like it was not a human being that just talked to them. The guy just looked around only to see his dudes looking afar and laughing their heads off.

The guy was not to be deterred as he held one of them hands and spoke again.

"Baby am talking to you"

"Sorry, i dont have time now so can i get your BB pin so we can ping later"

"Hey na wetin b BB pin, now only office pin i get o" the foolish boy spoke.

She flashed him her BB phone and that was when i realised that those girls were not leraners, infact they were more classy than anybody their.

"Ok, wetin come concern BBpin and your phone wey you show me?"

A hot slap drove sense into his head as he held his face and the girls walked out on him, he walked back like someone struck by lightining as he friends kept on laughing.

I also laughed alittle at his misfourtune but at that moment the finest of the four girls looked at meand smiled.

Fever catch me that moment when she excused herself from their group and started walking to my direction...

"oboy yeaaah escaped my mouth.

T:B:C

Oga hackerjay ova to u sir.

Syill I Rock

As she waka pass ur side wetin come happen

oga rock, u dey improve for every update. i must commend ye sire

I don land here, carry on rock, your swagger no get mate.

@ritababe-i lyk flow pass my nite food, he, foxee and mazi are my mentors or so i thought.

@kingphilip-u no go like to know

@adegwurulez- thanks dude.

@clemzy-welcome back sir.

Where the hell is my secetary general na, firstgentleman, u wan try me ba.

If i come back and una neva dash my prev update and oga hackerjay own likes eh, the tin wey happen for my tenth birthday go happen again.

Still i Rock.

Rock rock nothing do U. Well done

kingphilip: As she waka pass ur side wetin come happen

Na next episode we go find out

ritababe:
@hackerjay
am loving u already

nah naw u jux dey confess,anyway, u are lucky am still single...

Vivy Gift: Rock rock nothing do U. Well done



Na next episode we go find out

heY vivy where u lost go now i really missed u