Once when I tried to tell her family about this they sounded very hostile to me so I decided not to discuss anything with them again.

so i guess its not your fault wife palava i believe her parents are like that too. They didn't raise her properly

to be honest I did not know what I was getting into when I married an uneducated woman. i did not associate that kind of behaviour with education or lack of it.
i cannot blame anyone but myself for turning up at an ex gfs house. i just feel that i would never have gne there if there was peace at home
i did not blame my mistakes on anyone. i take the blame for it becos i drove there myself i am just thinking that it may never have happened if she did not continually shout in the house.
its not nice to say my wife makes noise but she does. i cant deny it
i did not think i was disrespecting her by dancing with a colleague. she already met the colleague and the dance did not even last more than a minute or so I say that in truth be4 God

@ Poster
Why did u have to marry an uneducated woman? Since that's been done, just send her to school? It's never too late to learn.

Guess there are other good qualities ur wife posseses too, let the nagging not be such a bother to u coz am sure she thinks u have faults too. Like u've been told, try to do those things that won't get her nagging. Goodluck!

if ure dead serious about the call from the police about assault, all i can say now is "u don enter one chance
and would be praying you get out of it."

Quote from your first post "while in the girl's house we were playing and touching each other and she suddenly shouted that I should leave her home immediately. Thankfully nothing had happened between us so she can't scream rape or anything and her friend was also in the house."

As long as nothing happened as u claimed then you shouldn't be afraid of nada. Would have been a different ball game if you had sexual intercourse and they found evidence cos it's kinda hard to prove it was done with mutual consent.

I'm still maintaining my earlier stance of u being at fault cos i seriously don't believe any man should run to his ex if their is a problem at home. What if you guys had sex without protection on the day and she got pregnant, are you still going to blame the unplanned child on your wife?

Dude it's peeps like you that give us brodas a very bad reputation. You never for once mentioned your wife was violent, All she did was nag/shout. Now you tell me any woman that doesn't do such only that some do theirs within reason.
You could have decided to be quiet and sleep off (totalling blanking your mind of her rants) since she ain't the violent type.

I don't even know if i am to pray you don't get charged but you sure have learnt a lesson not to run to other women's shoulders whenever their's a problem at home.

Absolutely nothing happened. she was tickling my ribs and I was tickling hers. we were both fully clothed and when she shouted for me to leave i left.
i also feel truly ashamed of myself for going to the woman but i know that what i need now are prayers that God will reveal the mischief of this woman and give me back my life.
my intention was also to try and get my wife educated but its not been easy becos shes not young anymore and she is not entitled to free education yet so if anything meaning will cost me a lot of money which i dont have at the moment

Pls cut the uneducated crap. education hasn't got anything to do with a woman shouting. Most women (educated or not) express their feelings through loud talking so you might get her through university and she will still be the same.
What you need is never ending heart to heart talk, trying as much as possible not to do the things that triggers her, make her understand how the unhealthiness of the relationship is driving u mad and best of all pray to God for intervention.

How long as she been in the uk? if she has been for more than 3 yrs then i'm sure she can get grant/student loan to help her pay through skool.

Sorry to ask but pls how old r u?

@wifepalav
we do have some women that nag nag nag. The best way to go is to deal with her maturedly. maybe educate her like people say. She might ust be having a case of inferority complex. i am guessing u love ur wife.

rightly said Jay bee

wifepalava:

my intention was also to try and get my wife educated but its not been easy because shes not young anymore and she is not entitled to free education yet so if anything meaning will cost me a lot of money which i don't have at the moment

free education for ur wife? dude am sure u can cook up some cash and send her to a school at least for a start.
no one is saying get her an MBA or something.

trust me dude there aint no age to late to learn,u start dying d day u stop learning (age should not  be a factor)

she has been here for almost 2 yrs. its not been easy financially becos i am still to get my finances in good shape in 2 yrs.
my main problem at the moment is having to face the police today. please pray for me that God will help me through this period and i will seek wisodm in dealing with my wife or maybe we will have to just seperate

College is surely not that expensive. a few hundreds surely wouldn't dent your pocket

why worry about police since you ain't done nothing wrong.

separate? after 7 years?
dude am sure u can work things out
divorce aint the best option
u did nothing just be bold enough

in my present state 50 pounds will make the hole in my pocket much bigger.
I went to see and talk to an elderly nigerian christian man yesterday evening and he prayed with me to God. he said he will call my wife to speak with her. but its not the first time somebody has talked to her about this

wifepalava:

he said he will call my wife to speak with her. but its not the first time somebody has talked to her about this

Stop sending people to talk to your wife!!! You guys need to swallow your pride and come down to each other's level and reason together. That's how it's meant to be and not some folks trying to make her feel guilty all the time.

Dude, you need to buckle up. Ain't no man solving your damn problem but you!

is it better for me to be shouting with her as well?

do two wrongs make a right?

when u she shouts and u shout, u'd only be escalating matters
its not your nature to do such, so when she shouts u talk and gently make her see reasons
trust me after sometime though shes not educated but at least she has a brain and she can think
she would eventually realise her actions.
it might take a while,but its worth it that "fighting" back with words

that's why i hope that she will respect an older man and maybe calm down with the noise

wifepalava:

is it better for me to be shouting with her as well?

You mean I didn't make sense in my previous post? Dude, wake up or I'll help you

I have been trying and I hope whe will stop it soon.

please help me radiant

wifepalava:

I have been trying and I hope whe will stop it soon.

please help me radiant

Dude, you need to understand or rather let's just say that it's her nature to shout. Why does she shout? There must be things that irritate her and the only way she can fight it or let you know is by raising her voice. Fine!

Number one thing you need to do is never leave the house when "she starts shouting" cause you only come back when she must have calmed down but still the underlying problem hasn't been solved. It will always spring up. You both need to get to the root of the matter. There's no need to take flight in such situations. You can't tell me that she shouts for no good reason. Otherwise, you take her to see a psychiatrist 'cause it's not normal.

You need to face the situation. She's your wife, educated or not. You knew her status before you married her. May be she's mad at the fact that you don't have as much money as she expected or may be there are things you do that she doesn't like??
Being a calm person is not enough. Quiet people could be annoying sometimes but that's by the way though.

You need to let go of pride. Take her out for dinner or wherever and TALK! Both of you need to open up to each other. Tell what you hate in the other and learn to adjust to the likes and dislikes of you two. It's not easy to live with someone you don't really know. Problems must arise but there has to be a solution and running away from home or getting strangers to talk to her isn't one of them.

All the best.

she wont respect you because of age, but based on how you handle matters,
ure shouting her down would make her feel ure riding on her,which would take another dimension
just take things easy and u'd both be fine.
Radiant can't help u,she can give u d best of advice which she has already done,
but its up to you eventually to take the bull by the horn

thanx. I have been trying to talk to her and it always ends up with more shouting maybe i am expecting too much too son but it is really eating away at me

how old r u?

old enough to have a 13yr old and not that i started having children early

I think I've said all I can think of that could be of help. However, something tells me you're not doing enough just because you're way older

If you insist she's a living hell, then let her go if you can't solve the matter!

i did not say i am way older than her. she is only a few yrs younger than me

and wats the age difference?

the older man i mentioned is the man i went to speak to yesterday

@jaybee dnt think thats really neccessary, what difference would it make?

Radiant has said a lot, and has expressed wisdom in her suggestions
try doing things(positive) u havent done before
do something nice over it while youre both at your bests
talk to her about how u feel, let her know ur 13yr okd kid is involved
and a divirce is the last thing u want
let her know u love her and whateever else u feel she knows , but u need to let her know again

wifepalava:

the older man i mentioned is the man i went to speak to yesterday

Ohh okay.

well age difference does matter cos communication with other half that is way younger can get a bit tricky for men sometimes (assumption is based on naij stories).
Close age gap relationships tend to treat each other more like friends and communication is somewhat relatively easy (again assumption is based on surveys)

knowing how to communicate is your best answer. You might want to go on a course "how to deal with difficult people" as they will teach you the key ingredient of communication is your listening skills. Do you actually listen to your wife when she is angry?