2ndChance:
Just a couple of flats.

oga, in case your wife wants to build another one,this time with your approval,I have a plot of land for sale o! Na just shikili money. Contact me asap abeg!

A man builds a house for the whole family with the whole family's name including the wife, the wife now builds her own with her name and makes it her own personal property, then what you can come up withn, is it is your own hardearned money. So, the man's money was not hardearned, it was plucked from a tree.

Only your name, funkybaby have given you out. I dont think you ever deserved this honour of me quoting you. God bless your hussle dear!

funkybaby: why do i need my man's permission before i build a house

of course i will inform him before i start but that does not constitute seeking his permission.

its my hard earned money and i can spend it however it pleases me as long as I do not put my finances or the family in jeopardy

2ndChance:
my bro, I no dey vex. I just dey wonder what her next game plan is. Trust me, I have a very good reason to stop for one or two bottles on my way home today.

2ndChance Please don't turn to drink
Go on your kneels and pray

Yoruba_Jesus: Be thankful the guy on the other end is a priest. At least you are sure he didnt do IT with your wifey.

How are you sure, because he is a priest? Sit down there. In this country, Nigeria, many things dey happen.

babyface333: A man builds a house for the whole family with the whole family's name including the wife, the wife now builds her own with her name and makes it her own personal property, then what you can come up withn, is it is your own hardearned money. So, the man's money was not hardearned, it was plucked from a tree.

Only your name, funkybaby have given you out. I dont think you ever deserved this honour of me quoting you. God bless your hussle dear!

Biko let us hear something
When you folks die, extra wives and concubines plus secret pikins will start emanating from the wood works to claim relationship
There are two sides to every story
We haven't heard hers
There is mistrust issues here that made the woman do what she did

OP are you from a polygamous home?
Do You have extramarital children?

The woman was certainly acting based on a situation the OP is not telling us
My people say that frogs don't run around in the hot afternoon in vain

soul_glo:



Awwwww. I am sorry to hear that. You have to be honest with her about how you feel but most importantly be honest with yourself. Have you always treated her with dignity and respect even when she could not contribute financially to your family. The house itself could be a blessing. Keeping secrets is the issue here.

oga mi with all due respect, i don't think you know the gravity of what she just did , this has got nothing to do with the house , it has to do with trust , love , sincerity and honesty and with this action the woman has shown that she doesn't trust the man and that she herself cant be trusted .

these are the type of things that happens that eventually leads to one spouse killing the other , the moment the op start questioning or arguing with them , they (wife ,mother in law and priest) will see the op as a threat and believe me the next thing will be to find ways of taking him out either by rendering useless financially, health wise or even eliminating him totally .that is why he needs to behave as if what she has done is not bothering him . IF HE LOVES HIS LIFE

gbanikiti: oga, in case your wife wants to build another one,this time with your approval,I have a plot of land for sale o! Na just shikili money. Contact me asap abeg!

No wahala. We go build am together this time. All the evil third-parties are being exposed and will soon leave the way. I think I will just take things calmly. She just called me now to say she's on her way home from work still feeling remorseful. I have forgiven her but can never sleep with both eyes closed with her again. So sad.

texaco1:
oga mi with all due respect, i don't think you know the gravity of what she just did , this has got nothing to do with the house , it has to do with trust , love , sincerity and honesty and with this action the woman has shown that she doesn't trust the man and that she herself cant be trusted .

these are the type of things that happens that eventually leads to one spouse killing the other , the moment the op start questioning or arguing with them , they (wife ,mother in law and priest) will see the op as a threat and believe me the next thing will be to find ways of taking him out either by rendering useless financially, health wise or even eliminating him totally .that is why he needs to behave as if what she has done is not bothering him . IF HE LOVES HIS LIFE

GREAT COMMENTS, LOVE IT

2ndChance:
No wahala. We go build am together this time. All the evil third-parties are being exposed and will soon leave the way. I think I will just take things calmly. She just called me now to say she's on her way home from work still feeling remorseful. I have forgiven her but can never sleep with both eyes closed with her again. So sad.

you for sleep with both eye
you go open eyes see baba God for throne

2ndChance:
No wahala. We go build am together this time. All the evil third-parties are being exposed and will soon leave the way. I think I will just take things calmly. She just called me now to say she's on her way home from work still feeling remorseful. I have forgiven her but can never sleep with both eyes closed with her again. So sad.

Good

babyosisi:

Biko let us hear something
When you folks die extra wives and concubines plus secret pikins will start emanating from the wood works to claim relationship
There are two sides to every story
We haven't heard hers
There is mistrust issues here that made the woman do what she did

OP are you from a polygamous home?

The woman was certainly acting based on a situation the OP is not telling us
My people say that frogs don't run around in the hot afternoon in vain

I no get children outside wedlock o. All my children in this life are from my present wife. God is my witness. She even broke down when I sked her if I have any wife or children aside her and our children last night. I may not be perfect but I know I am a good husband. It's just unfortunate that things are the way they are at the moment.

2ndChance:
No wahala. We go build am together this time. All the evil third-parties are being exposed and will soon leave the way. I think I will just take things calmly. She just called me now to say she's on her way home from work still feeling remorseful. I have forgiven her but can never sleep with both eyes closed with her again. So sad.

You are a good man thanks for being understanding
Please tell madam I love her
I wish you could answer my questions before u leave

The story looks all cooked, but all the same Forgiveness is Key

2ndChance:
I no get children outside wedlock o. All my children in this life are from my present wife. God is my witness. She even broke down when I sked her if I have any wife or children aside her and our children last night. I may not be perfect but I know I am a good husband. It's just unfortunate that things are the way they are at the moment.

Do you come from a polygamous home?
Did your family fight over an inheritance?
Are you from a part of the nation that does the matrilineal inheritance method?

There is something to this

pstell: The story looks all cooked, but all the same Forgiveness is Key

Why should a man cook up this type of story

babyosisi:

Do you come from a polygamous home?

No. My both parents are still alive and together.

@topic, I can understand your frustration. It is unfortunate that this practice is common among Nigerians (husbands or wives). It is part of our dirty culture not to always reveal the other side of the coin.
We do not only see this behavior in marriages, but also in friendship or business partnership. It is sad and will always be part of our METHOD of OPERATION; this can also be linked to DISHONESTY, POVERTY, MATERIALISM and CORRUPTION that linger in our soul/blood.

1 of the main reasons many do not keep too many Nigerian friends or do business with another Nigerian.

@ topic, the only solution for you: Next time you return back to this unpleasant world, DO NOT MARRY A NIGERIAN.

2ndChance:
No wahala. We go build am together this time. All the evil third-parties are being exposed and will soon leave the way. I think I will just take things calmly. She just called me now to say she's on her way home from work still feeling remorseful. I have forgiven her but can never sleep with both eyes closed with her again. So sad.

abeg forgive her o! She's still your wife. Don't mind your fellow men on this thread saying you should throw her out. The house belongs to you and your family. You are lucky you have properties. There are some people who are homeless and can't afford to pay rent. God has blessed you and your wife. Please forgive her and move ahead.

Na wa o.. stuffs like this make me fear marriage. I doubt if I go quick marry o

abeg forgive her o! She's still your wife. Don't mind your fellow men on this thread saying you should throw her out. The house belongs to you and your family. You are lucky you have properties. There are some people who are homeless and can't afford to pay rent. God has blessed you and your wife. Please forgive her and move ahead.

It is always the right thing to do when you forgive and move on, but the problem or questions here are: can you ever trust this individual again? what else is this individual doing that you are yet to discover? and what else can this individual do?

sanniemoe: Na wa o.. stuffs like this make me fear marriage. I doubt if I go quick marry o

that one is big one,what about a scenario when your babe is asking you to propose but you didnt but agreed to get married at a certain time ,when the time comes ,she begin to give excuse.
Marriage things get as he be

zomby:

It is always the right thing to do when you forgive and move on, but the problem or questions here are: can you ever trust this individual again? what else is this individual doing that you are yet to discover? and what else can this individual do?

Is that why you said he shouldn't marry a nigerian when he comes back to this world? Are you for real?

I am 100% Nigerian and love my country more than anything else; will never trade it for anything
But the far you stay away from Nigerians and their dirty culture the closer you get to peace of mind and better life.

DISHONESTY, POVERTY, MATERIALISM and CORRUPTION that linger in our soul/blood have changed the platform of our culture (no culture is better than what we currently have or follow in Nigeria). Things are not the way they used to be.

This is just my personal opinion.

Sorry!

The only thing I have no control over in this matter is the extent my family will take it as they have already contacted the Priest's superiors and are threatening to take it to the highest level possible. There may be some fireworks but at the end my final decision will be that I have forgiven her and will still remain married to her for the sake of my children. My mother-in-law is not going to find things funny too but unfortunately, I have no control over that either .

2ndChance: The only thing I have no control over in this matter is the extent my family will take it as they have already contacted the Priest's superiors and are threatening to take it to the highest level possible. There may be some fireworks but at the end my final decision will be that I have forgiven her and will still remain married to her for the sake of my children. My mother-in-law is not going to find things funny too but unfortunately, I have no control over that either .

you are going about it the wrong way ,the elemnt of surprise is the greatest weapon against a formidable advesary like your mother in law , you are playing your game just the way they have planned , they will only get stronger and wiser , but i wish you the best anyway . have a wonderful day.

zomby: I am 100% Nigerian and love my country more than anything else; will never trade it for anything
But the far you stay away from Nigerians and their dirty culture the closer you get to peace of mind and better life.

DISHONESTY, POVERTY, MATERIALISM and CORRUPTION that linger in our soul/blood have changed the platform of our culture (no culture is better than what we currently have or follow in Nigeria). Things are not the way they used to be.

This is just my personal opinion.

Sorry!

U are very correct
I agree with your personal opinion-
We have lot of issues as Nigerian- Please stay away
Please marry any lady that will support you come rain and sunshine

Okija_juju:





Building a house is not a small matter o!

Maybe if he said she bought the house, then I would understand. But building a house is such a big matter that if he had paid attention to his wife, he would have caught her slippin atleast once.


Plus.. Didnt it ever bother him to check her finances? I know many women will attack me here, but she is his wife and he has the right to know how she is spending her money. He does not necessarily need to control her spending, but he needs to know.

Anyways, I feel he didnt pay enough attention that why he missed such a big matter happening right under his nose.

you are right...
one word: insensitivity.

2ndChance: The only thing I have no control over in this matter is the extent my family will take it as they have already contacted the Priest's superiors and are threatening to take it to the highest level possible. There may be some fireworks but at the end my final decision will be that I have forgiven her and will still remain married to her for the sake of my children. My mother-in-law is not going to find things funny too but unfortunately, I have no control over that either .

Why does your family know about it? Are they privy to things that happen in your home?

Today, you can visit University of Lagos or any other University in Nigeria and you will witness why I've come up with such a "ridiculous" opinion.
With just N50k in your pocket, you can have up to 10 young girls (future wives) to follow you home without them even knowing your name. And believe it or not the same girls will be someone's wife in a couple of years.

My question is: What do you expect from these beautiful Nigerian wives?

babyosisi: [size=18pt]If the wife in question is reading please let her contact me and tell me how she pulled this off
I really wanna know[/size]

I wanna build house too

Hmmmm ....my dear na me o! Infact to God Be the Glory ...it wasn't easy. You dey serious true true about building a house? Ar go inbox dear.

soul_glo:

Why does your family know about it? Are they privy to things that happen in your home?

The issue is too weighty to be handled alone hence I notified my family. My mother-in-law, like someone rightly posted earlier, is too slippery to be handled with kid gloves because something strongly tells me my life is on the line here.

soul_glo:

Why does your family know about it? Are they privy to things that happen in your home?

The issue of wife building a house without her husband knowledge is not a bedroom issue
The dude need somebody to talk
There are issue you don't take to the family