damiso:

I never said you were trying to be whatever....I simply did not think 'deceit' was the right premise for the point I was trying to make.As I said I kinda knew that all those things likr birthdays, anniversaries were not his forte and when I said 'show' I meant it in like okay o lets do it please you.Even after marriage he would still do it but not like the big gestures I would pay attention to eg maybe just get a cake and forget to buy card.To him cards are just paper so he will rather wake you up at 12 and pray for you.But I like cards so would say stuff like you eh forgot card again.Stuff like that.

Each to his own, as I said I(speak for myself here) do not see the issue as make or break.I just take exception to the word 'deceit' in my case thank you.See why some people do not like sharing real personal experiences on NL.

Damiso,

Take it cool

The whatever part was because I didnot know the right word to use there.

I never said it was make or break, how can it be?

Apologies on the deceit part. Your first post sounded like you didnot know at first.

I agree with him that the celebrations is commercialized anyways and I think the prayer part is really sweet

Take Care

bukatyne:

Damiso,

Take it cool

The whatever part was because I didnot know the right word to use there.

I never said it was make or break, how can it be?

Apologies on the deceit part. Your first post sounded like you didnot know at first.

I agree with him that the celebrations is commercialized anyways and I think the prayer part is really sweet

Take Care

That's Ok Bukatyne I get your point.

Maybe my first post was kinda like a ramble but I was just trying to illustrate how our experiences, backgrounds etc kinda shape how we view stuff I.e. I coming from a background where people made a fuss about stuff like that and he growing up without that.Sometimes in marriage we view things on how we percieve it should be and sometimes conflicts are better resolved if we look at the root cause on why the other party does not see it our way.

I agree with you though on not keeping apperances on some core issues eg faith etc.Its deceit if I find out you were doing all the spirikoko church thing only for us to marry and find out you were an atheist all along and just pulled the 'church brother' act to get a wife.

jennykadry:

@Efe

Have you tried catheterizing a hooded yekini especially post surgery? na wa, you go pull foreskin back tire until you wanno give up, a hoodless is so easy. Now watch a hooded man trying to pee, he cannot control his yekini and misses target most times, now can you imagine him trying to hit that "spot" during ikwokirkwo?... the guy will miss road and end up all over the place. Who wants a yekini-miss-road everyday? how will the guy be able to position it properly when I am innocently stretched out and wiping clean my dining table? or doing the reverse cow gurl, or wheelbarrow missionary style? just imagine him trying to do dog..g..y style? the guy will end up shoving himself up his woman's anus due to lack of control.

Stay away from hooded yekinis women, they move all over the place widening the small area and expanding the v@ginal wall

emmmmm we are still right on topic aii?

Good heavens Jenny!

You need serious help, walahi!

Re: the bolded - there's an easy solution there... just give them an inverted funnel to aid motor control. Should work a treat!

Baby mama:

Your wish is my command.yekini here we come

For the married ladies in here I have a question
If you were at this age of your life and unmarried,would your check list for the " ideal " spouse change?
Would you " lower" your standards to increase your chances
Would you for instance be more open to marry from another tribe or even religion
Would you consider a short man even though you are one who wouldn't have done so some years back?
How about a man wey im sumtin dey like Aki and paw paw one

Personally I kNow that if I were single till this point,my priorities will be a little different
Things like faith in Christ would not be compromised but I will comfortably manage,a short ugly man with no functional blokoss if he were stinkingly rich

I am talking affluence n'enwero atu ( affluence without measure)
Even if he had no Blokoss kpa kpa,we can manage ourselves in other ways as long as he is willing to be trained in other ways
His secret and ( wallet) will be very safe with me

Oya ladies,answer the questions

Hmmmm...odd one this is...now let me see:

If I was still single (goodness gracious), I definitely would have lowered my standards. My number one priority will be to fit in as many juniors as is possible before my biological reaches 13 O'clock. And trust me, by this time, it'll be to hell with what people think. If I have to get my own biological kids out of wedlock, then so be it.

Of course by this time, I would be (as I am anyway), well established in my career - obviously even much further than I presently am as I wouldn't have had to make family compromises along the way as most (if not all of us), married mums do. So being financially independent with my own homes and businesses, I'll be at liberty to choose which DNA gene pool I want my spawning my offspring.

Mind you, I'll never force / cajole anyone to marry me at that point, so the deal for me would be deciding who to choose to father my kids without the shackles of marriage borne out of societal pressure. So the question will be, do I go for a young virile young man blessed with Adonis looks, highly intelligent and a Mr Valentino in bed? Or do I risk going for someone older than me and risk having kids with Downs Syndrome?

Based on that, there are certain things I still will never compromise on:

~ Looks: You just have to be a looker. Marriage or not, I want my heart to flutter helplessly like a love-struck 18 year old whenever I set my eyes on you. Yes, yes, I know I'm vain - very vain but who wants to give birth to kids looking like apes? Forget inner beauty or tired adages like beauty is in the eye of the beholder - me, I must like what I see on the outside before I bother scratching the surface. I don't do hard-faced men. Not my style.

~ Height: Okay, it's no secret I love 'em tall but even if I have to compromise, shortness get levels abeg. I can't go for dwarfs height-challenged guys (no offence intended). So Aki 'n Paw-paw sort of height is a no-no abeg. I'd rather adopt.

~ Tribe: Never been an issue for me, so 'compromising' won't be that much of a big deal. As long as he's a black brother, then no sweat.

~ Religion: Na wa o! That's harrrrrrrrrrrd! Okay, as long as he's not a religious freak and much 'weaker' than me religious wise, then maybe I might give it a shot. But having said that, an atheist will be preferable, abeg.

Oh, and on functional blokos - it has to be very functional - in or out of marriage. Sex is important and I'm not prudish in anyway. No matter how heavy his wallet is, if he can't perform his basic duty as a man, I've got no time to waste. I'll slap him on his back and it'll be: Oya, find your level! I won't pretend to be a prude and suffer in sex.u@l silence.

Now, these are my take / opinions on what I think I would have done if I were still single at this point.

Efemena_xy:

Hmmmm...odd one this is...now let me see:

If I was still single (goodness gracious), I definitely would have lowered my standards. My number one priority will be to fit in as many juniors as is possible before my biological reaches 13 O'clock. And trust me, by this time, it'll be to hell with what people think. If I have to get my own biological kids out of wedlock, then so be it.

Of course by this time, I would be (as I am anyway), well established in my career - obviously even much further than I presently am as I wouldn't have had to make family compromises along the way as most (if not all of us), married mums do. So being financially independent with my own homes and businesses, I'll be at liberty to choose which DNA gene pool I want my spawning my offspring.

Mind you, I'll never force / cajole anyone to marry me at that point, so the deal for me would be deciding who to choose to father my kids without the shackles of marriage borne out of societal pressure. So the question will be, do I go for a young virile young man blessed with Adonis looks, highly intelligent and a Mr Valentino in bed? Or do I risk going for someone older than me and risk having kids with Downs Syndrome?

Based on that, there are certain things I still will never compromise on:

~ Looks: You just have to be a looker. Marriage or not, I want my heart to flutter helplessly like a love-struck 18 year old whenever I set my eyes on you. Yes, yes, I know I'm vain - very vain but who wants to give birth to kids looking like apes? Forget inner beauty or tired adages like beauty is in the eye of the beholder - me, I must like what I see on the outside before I bother scratching the surface. I don't do hard-faced men. Not my style.

~ Height: Okay, it's no secret I love 'em tall but even if I have to compromise, shortness get levels abeg. I can't go for dwarfs height-challenged guys (no offence intended). So Aki 'n Paw-paw sort of height is a no-no abeg. I'd rather adopt.

~ Tribe: Never been an issue for me, so 'compromising' won't be that much of a big deal. As long as he's a black brother, then no sweat.

~ Religion: Na wa o! That's harrrrrrrrrrrd! Okay, as long as he's not a religious freak and much 'weaker' than me religious wise, then maybe I might give it a shot. But having said that, an atheist will be preferable, abeg.

Oh, and on functional blokos - it has to be very functional - in or out of marriage. Sex is important and I'm not prudish in anyway. No matter how heavy his wallet is, if he can't perform his basic duty as a man, I've got no time to waste. I'll slap him on his back and it'll be: Oya, find your level! I won't pretend to be a prude and suffer in sex.u@l silence.

Now, these are my take / opinions on what I think I would have done if I were still single at this point.

.Ashley Walters is kinda short though

^^ Lol!

Compromises, Dami, compromises - he's got good looks!

bukatyne: HI dami,

I am happy he is changing to be more romantic

However a line really got to me and overconfirmed what I had already confirmed.

The reason why marriage seems like an uphill task is because during courtship, we do most things for show. We know we will never do chores but will help our ladies do everything from laundry to cooking We know we will tell her I love you only on new year's day yet will turn it to adaily anthem during courtship. We know that we will not contribute N1 to housekeeping yet will pay part of the bills during courtship.

After the wedding ceremony, the other party begins to feel deceived and shortchanged and quarrel starts.

Deceit and putting up appearances during courtship defeats the very purpose of courtship.

It is better to pick a random person on the street and marry than to marry a deceiver during courtship. With a stranger, you learn A likes X, B does not do Y and adapt to it will encouraging the person to make necessary adjustment if any while in a deceitful courtship, you have to unlearn all whatyou kniw about hi/her and relearn new things.

This post is really to intending couples in courtship and singles

Hi Bukky,

You've got some solid points there, but the thing is this...there are no hard and fast rules about how one should act during courtship and what should or shouldn't happen post courtship (re: marriage).

I think it's safe to say that people grow (and I daresay evolve) during courtship. The main thing here is that yes, aside the initial fireworks, the couple try to impress each other. It's a natural instinct, even wild animals do it - you've got birds (e.g: peacocks) displaying their colourful feathers trying to impress and woo a mate, gorillas / apes puffing up and beating their chests (some men do that sef), etc. I think the distinction between us humans and wild animals is when outright deceit comes into it in the form of lying or claiming to be what you aren't. Then yes, it's wrong and that's where the problem lies.

Additionally, after all that wooing and wanting to impress each other during courtship, most married couples sort of simmer down a few years down the line. Now this happens because over the years, they've grown to understand each other and (should) instinctively know what their spouse likes or doesn't like. Also, contrary to popular opinion, people do change during marriage. A man who says he isn't one for performing household chores will do so without the blink of an eye when a love one is involved. Same thing goes for us women.

A loving and caring spouse will do things to make his / her home a peaceful, conducive atmosphere for themselves and their kids. On the flip side of the coin, some do get lazy during marriage. A bachelor who used to cook (quite badly ) for himself will happily give up the apron and frying pan for his wifey to take over.

So you see there are no hard and fast rules about this. At the end of the day, yes, marriage is hardwork and you only reap what you sow into it. It takes a lot of commitment, dedication, understanding and compromises along the way to make it work.

It is well with our marriages.

benedicta0:
Secondly,I have a question for the married folks,is MouthAction compulsory for couples to stay sexually connected?does every couple practice it?for those that are not getting it are they old-fashioned?dose it make a man to feel loved and cherished?

No, it is not compulsory. It's all about doing what you and your spouse feel comfortable with. The important thing is communicating with your spouse what you both want.

Women keeping quite for fear that their man will think them loose / wanton / an ashi is a real problem and it's not helped either when the man in question feels uncomfortable for his wife / partner to air her views about what she wants sex.u@lly.

Having said that, I'll be hard pressed to find a man admit that he detests or@l sex. Not only do most men dream that, but they also want their wife / partner to swallow - sort of makes them feel like a king.

Whether the woman will go that far is an entirely different thing. Same thing too for women. Many would love to have their man 'go down' on them if you know what I mean. But whether the man feels comfortable doing so is another thing.

So it depends really.

Wish to thank you all for your awesome contribution, especially the OP on this topic.

Been following from day one, learning and understanding the opposite sex.

More wisdom and blessings to your home. Cheers!

Efemena_xy:

No, it is not compulsory. It's all about doing what you and your spouse feel comfortable with. The important thing is communicating with your spouse what you both want.

Women keeping quite for fear that their man will think them loose / wanton / an ashi is a real problem and it's not helped either when the man in question feels uncomfortable for his wife / partner to air her views about what she wants sex.u@lly.

Having said that, I'll be hard pressed to find a man admit that he detests or@l sex. Not only do most men dream that, but they also want their wife / partner to swallow - sort of makes them feel like a king.

Whether the woman will go that far is an entirely different thing. Same thing too for women. Many would love to have their man 'go down' on them if you know what I mean. But whether the man feels comfortable doing so is another thing.

So it depends really.

I agree with you. The part i don't get is the part where a man will see his WIFE as a slut for expressing their sexual preferences. That's so wrong and bad. Having spent some time both in the states and w/africa, i guess the reason is due to upbringing and cultural barriers. In Nigeria for example, women dare not talk openly about sex, it's seen in bad light, but at that end? All i can say is wow! Sex is for mutual enjoyment, not that of the man alone, and that practice of relegating women to maybe sex tools MUST stop. That's my take sha.

PocketEconomist: I agree with you. The part i don't get is the part where a man will see his WIFE as a slut for expressing their sexual preferences. That's so wrong and bad. Having spent some time both in the states and w/africa, i guess the reason is due to upbringing and cultural barriers. In Nigeria for example, women dare not talk openly about sex, it's seen in bad light, but at that end? All i can say is wow! Sex is for mutual enjoyment, not that of the man alone, and that practice of relegating women to maybe sex tools MUST stop. That's my take sha.

you are right.I was discussing with a guy some time ago when it came to sex part he was just staring at me as if have committed an offence. while, I just told him I hate people that pretend, since we both agreed no sex before marriage, I need to speak out I no won marry brother without blokos .Dont want to run to nairaland after marriage and start complaining about my husband Zero performance on bed.

Baby mama:

Thanks sweetie.
Speaking about bee jay
I doubt if there is any man born of woman that does not enjoy it and want it done
I am yet to meet that man

Gosh!
That last line doesn't come out right,it presupposes that yours truly has sampled and sampled men from Ijebuode to Abakaliki when that is far from the truth
Where is the Yekini expert,can you weigh in on this rofl

Then on the other matter about a rich man with no Yekini,Nne there are many routes to get to arochukwu
The ultimate satisfaction for a woman is to hit the roof top
And the secret to making her hit that rooftop is not just the Yekini but the continual stimulation of the c during action by that Yekini or whatever device ( I might say)
A man can have Blokoss the size of Ijebu plantain,if he doesn't know to move in a fashion to stimulate the c optimally,that woman ain't enjoying a thing.
That is the gospel truth
So a man without a Blokoss can do other things to get her there

yes o,it is about know how to do the right thing at the right time.thanks

Efemena_xy:

No, it is not compulsory. It's all about doing what you and your spouse feel comfortable with. The important thing is communicating with your spouse what you both want.

Women keeping quite for fear that their man will think them loose / wanton / an ashi is a real problem and it's not helped either when the man in question feels uncomfortable for his wife / partner to air her views about what she wants sex.u@lly.

Having said that, I'll be hard pressed to find a man admit that he detests or@l sex. Not only do most men dream that, but they also want their wife / partner to swallow - sort of makes them feel like a king.

Whether the woman will go that far is an entirely different thing. Same thing too for women. Many would love to have their man 'go down' on them if you know what I mean. But whether the man feels comfortable doing so is another thing.

So it depends really.

It really depends,it is all about communication,many women will want it but may be too shy to admit it.According to o p.pocket economist, some men are so selfish,they believe it is all about them,not caring if their wife is satisfied or not

benedicta0: firstly, I must really thank you all for your great and realistic input in this thread.To the questions, I don't think you will be happy married to a man with no blokos,even if he is very rich,I am sure you will be missing the really thing,with time you will start feeling disgusted, no matter the size of his wallet.
Secondly,I have a question for the married folks,is MouthAction compulsory for couples to stay sexually connected?does every couple practice it?for those that are not getting it are they old-fashioned?dose it make a man to feel loved and cherished?

I can't ever be faithful to a woman that does not give head. It really is that simple! I advice all women to learn the art. You think Samson fell for Delilah because of her beauty alone? By the time he starts comparing notes with his friends eventually he would want to find what he's been missing and who knows where his search might lead him to

dayokanu: For me o. Any girl who says no sex abeg run unless she is under 22 and is still a novice. Forget wetin pastor dey yarn o. No be them go follow you live in the same house.

One of my friends who followed the no sex rule because the girl say so now calls me everytime to complain. He gets sex about once a month and everytime he brings it up the wife asks "Is it food"

Haaaa 22 ke? 21 year old girl in this present regime has finished Uni or is already serving or doing her Masters. So long as you are at least 18 or in Uni you are old enough IMO. On average girls start to knack before guys sef! I know how many QC girls have been slaughtered in many a BQ back in them days and to them it was a sign of levels to date Uni boys in their 200 or 300 Levels (if you be Jambite nothing for you it was that bad)

Some have been kpanshing steady in their youth and when they get to marriage age want to start rationing the puna. I call BS

A-40:

Haaaa 22 ke? 21 year old girl in this present regime has finished Uni or is already serving or doing her Masters. So long as you are at least 18 or in Uni you are old enough IMO. On average girls start to knack before guys sef! I know how many QC girls have been slaughtered in many a BQ back in them days and to them it was a sign of levels to date Uni boys in their 200 or 300 Levels (if you be Jambite nothing for you it was that bad)

Some have been kpanshing steady in their youth and when they get to marriage age want to start rationing the puna. I call BS

Awon Unilag Club Boys .If not for Naija se you guys know that is Statutory Rape

I see you guys endorse oral head. I'm not trying to be selfish here but the d!ck and the v.jaj are not the same. I ve been sexually active since I was 17 but never given a woman head and I doubt if I will do it. It is simply not hygienic. I have lots of ways of making her feel really good. I know what I gat and that can please any woman. But I say a big no to giving a woman head. Call me selfish....na u sabi.

thehunted: I see you guys endorse oral head. I'm not trying to be selfish here but the d!ck and the v.jaj are not the same. I ve been sexually active since I was 17 but never given a woman head and I doubt if I will do it. It is simply not hygienic. I have lots of ways of making her feel really good. I know what I gat and that can please any woman. But I say a big no to giving a woman head. Call me selfish....na u sabi.

Nope, no one's going to call you names here for your own opinion, but I've got a question for you though.

Re: the bolded, explain why you feel 'going down' on a woman is unhygienic, but yet it isn't unhygienic for a woman to go down on a man? Double standards, perhaps??

thehunted: I see you guys endorse oral head. I'm not trying to be selfish here but the d!ck and the v.jaj are not the same. I ve been sexually active since I was 17 but never given a woman head and I doubt if I will do it. It is simply not hygienic. I have lots of ways of making her feel really good. I know what I gat and that can please any woman. But I say a big no to giving a woman head. Call me selfish....na u sabi.

But you can poke that place, and you expect MouthAction in return? Well, it's your opinion though, but as for me, anything that makes my baby happy (i.e. If she deserves it) i will gladly do it. I don't want my kids to look like the gate man

Efemena_xy:

Nope, no one's going to call you names here for your own opinion, but I've got a question for you though.

Re: the bolded, explain why you feel 'going down' on a woman is unhygienic, but yet it isn't unhygienic for a woman to go down on a man? Double standards, perhaps??

Help me ask him o! If you cam't give, don't take. No double standards. Women deserve the wildest pleasure too, don't you think so?

^^ Yep, I think so too...

@Ihe: abeg close your eyes - we nor wan spoil you...

PocketEconomist: But you can poke that place, and you expect MouthAction in return? Well, it's your opinion though, but as for me, anything that makes my baby happy (i.e. If she deserves it) i will gladly do it. I don't want my kids to look like the gate man

***faints!***

benedicta0: firstly, I must really thank you all for your great and realistic input in this thread.To the questions, I don't think you will be happy married to a man with no blokos,even if he is very rich,I am sure you will be missing the really thing,with time you will start feeling disgusted, no matter the size of his wallet.
Secondly,I have a question for the married folks,is MouthAction compulsory for couples to stay sexually connected?does every couple practice it?for those that are not getting it are they old-fashioned?dose it make a man to feel loved and cherished?

Mouthaction is not compulsory. But if your hubby likes it, don't hold back. Funniest thing is not all men like mouth action. And I don't see why a woman should not willingly give in if her husband likes it. But it should always be do me I do you. When You give him bj, let him also go down on you. Let both benefit from the enjoyment.

jumzzy448:
Mouthaction is not compulsory. But if your hubby likes it, don't hold back. Funniest thing is not all men like mouth action. And I don't see why a woman should not willingly give in if her husband likes it. But it should always be do me I do you. When You give him bj, let him also go down on you. Let both benefit from the enjoyment.

Simple and short. Maximum pleasure for both parties. #NoCompromise

PE, abeg explain the gateman concept of your post na...

Efemena_xy: PE, abeg explain the gateman concept of your post na...

Abi you never grab, ok, make i explain... If you no do your work well, another man go do am for you. And i heard these gatemen have super sperms which means that ....

^^ Haha!

Crazy example but the message behind it is real. Yes, a man who ignores his wife's emotional needs deliberately should be aware that there will always be 'outsiders' waiting to fill that gap.

All the more reason why couples discussing their sex.u@l needs and fulfilment should never be under-estimated.

thehunted: Nice thread. Just have something to point out. I just read where baby mama wrote that a woman can change her mind at the last minute. Wowww. So can the guys dump their girls at the altar if they see a younger woman in the audience?? How I wish that part of the thread will be erased.

Please don't be disappointed,let me explain further
I take marriage very very seriously and I would advise that couples once married should do whatever is in their power to heal a hurting marriage.
I also take courtship very seriously
I will never endorse these packaged bride business where a man goes to his village for Christmas for 5 days and comes back with a picture of a fiancée that he marries by Easter
That is a mockery of marriage IMHO

Having said that,the courtship period is extremely important
That where you have a chance to know yourselves,your likes and dislikes,mannerisms,what you can live it and what you can't,learn his culture if he is of a different culture,plan your proposed future together
In that period,if the man is not measuring up,you have a chance to leave and find another person
That is what courtship is about
The man can do same also,it's not one sided.


No woman should have to stick with a man she is not feeling just because the public knows you are getting married
Getting married is not got married
Yes I left a fiancée for another man
Granted I broke his heart but I have never for one day regretted marrying the man I eventually married
Guess what?
The fiancé I left now has a second wife
So God was looking out for me

If you are not feeling the fiancé or fiancée,it's good to move on
Marriage to me is a lifetime commitment and it has to feel good from the very beginning

Efemena_xy: ^^ Haha!

Crazy example but the message behind it is real. Yes, a man who ignores his wife's emotional needs deliberately should be aware that there will always be 'outsiders' waiting to fill that gap.

All the more reason why couples discussing their sex.u@l needs and fulfilment should never be under-estimated.

my sister na true o. With wetin i dey see for unilag, i don learn my lesson. If you see as strong men dey flog married students, post graduate students and even married female lecturers you go shake head. Their men no dey try at all. I get one story to share but make i look, make sure the person no dey for hia **looks left, looks right, runs away* i dey come.

^^ Pls share your story.

It's an anonymous forum and we're all learning.

PocketEconomist: Simple and short. Maximum pleasure for both parties. #NoCompromise

Yes oo. That's how it's meant to be. If a man knows he can't go down on his wife, he should not expect bj from her.

PocketEconomist: my sister na true o. With wetin i dey see for unilag, i don learn my lesson. If you see as strong men dey flog married students, post graduate students and even married female lecturers you go shake head. Their men no dey try at all. I get one story to share but make i look, make sure the person no dey for hia **looks left, looks right, runs away* i dey come.

I beg come tell us the story oo.

Baby mama:


Please don't be disappointed,let me explain further
I take marriage very very seriously and I would advise that couples once married should do whatever is in their power to heal a hurting marriage.
I also take courtship very seriously
I will never endorse these packaged bride business where a man goes to his village for Christmas for 5 days and comes back with a picture of a fiancée that he marries by Easter
That is a mockery of marriage IMHO

Having said that,the courtship period is extremely important
That where you have a chance to know yourselves,your likes and dislikes,mannerisms,what you can live it and what you can't,learn his culture if he is of a different culture,plan your proposed future together
In that period,if the man is not measuring up,you have a chance to leave and find another person
That is what courtship is about
The man can do same also,it's not one sided.


No woman should have to stick with a man she is not feeling just because the public knows you are getting married
Getting married is not got married
Yes I left a fiancée for another man
Granted I broke his heart but I have never for one day regretted marrying the man I eventually married
Guess what?
The fiancé I left now has a second wife
So God was looking out for me

If you are not feeling the fiancé or fiancée,it's good to move on
Marriage to me is a lifetime commitment and it has to feel good from the very beginning

You are also right. During my stay in Carson, i noticed this funny trend of our igbo brothers phoning home so that they will arrange wife for him. That caused, and is still causing problems in my family in the states. I will NEVER make that mistake. Even a senior uncle of mine (although the age gap between us no wide) ditched his Trinidad girl he knew since his days at Cali State because of pressure to marry from home. Na look i dey look them. But gini ka anyi ga-eme maka ugly trend a? Gini na-eme ndi ulo anyi? Is it compulsory to marry from home via arranged marriage? Who knows what my relatives have planned for me sef?