banega: Very educating piece Op, buh what in God's earth is toto ? ah think that word is inappropriate,. If you ask mee• • •

so don't know d meaning of to-to.. file bel ge ko wa bel

Point number 5 is a big fat lie, no man intentionally marries established b'itc he's, now bitch is relative, going to the club does not make one a bi,t'ch, there are girls who go to a club with their boyfriends and respect themselves, but those who go to a club to attract other men and pitch in with every tom, d'i'c'k and harry are on another level...
No responsible man wants them.. They can marry them without knowing their secrets though... Every man wants to marry a good girl not one that has been mounted by every stallion in town and has the attitude of a cheetah...
Dat is why my igbo brothers sleep with 1000 girls and quietly return from the village with a little, ignorant unknown girl in tow....

Sweetlemon:


The summary of my sermon is this; whether you be Holy Mary, whether you be Mother Theresa, whether you be Kate Middleton, whether you be Patience Jonathan, whether you be Marilyn Monroe, the man that will love you will love you. The man that wants to marry you will marry you regardless.

Not true, this is the only point I disagree with... Men like good women and I don't mean the mgbekeish type, those who maintain themselves and respect themselves... No man intentionally marries a hoe....

OohMpa: Ooh Mpa loves this chick. She must be good in bed....


And one more thing, to those virgins waiting till marriage:
Get rid of those myths that men have 10 inches dïck. It's a mere fallacy, a lie conned from the women themselves!!!!
We men have only 5-6 inches. So stop hoping

It's been shown the more you virgins wait till marriage, the shorter dïck your man will have. If you marry at 28, you get winnie. At 35 year old, you get toothpick...
So, take out those boys you friend zoned and start blowing

u be andre 3000 or sorry Ode 3000!!!!

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CFCfan:
Those kind of men are simply players. But there needs to be a referee to control the 'player instinct'.

oboy that's men for you. Show me a beautiful woman n I will show u a man who is tired of fu-cking her

Sweetlemon:

I don't do cubs and I'm taken.

U be Take AWAY!!

Sweetlemon:

I don't do cubs and I'm taken.

U be Take AWAY!!

**

The way people normalise sex is very alarming...abeg if una dey read Bible or Quran una dey leave out d part wey mention Fornication and Adultery as grave sins abi? Happy sunday...

True talks......I despise those churchy ones......why don't they just get married to their pastors.......some girls are so blind, they blame ese for seducing pastor biodun of coza

Well, personally I'll give this 62% and I really hate this line...

bitter truth is that Many men do not marry for love. Many marry because they need a helper. Because their parents are on their necks, for traditional titles/more respect in the society, even for business purposes. So don't get all mushy and swept off your feet just yet just because one guy just proposed to you.
Always remember this, getting married is a destination. Keeping your marriage is a whole new never ending journey. Do not confuse the two of them.

I am looking for a wifey.

lorRhyMeZ: The way people normalise sex is very alarming...abeg if una dey read Bible or Quran una dey leave out d part wey mention Fornication and Adultery as grave sins abi? Happy sunday...

Abraham, jacob, david, solomon etc are people we look up to... and don't talk about old testament cos our pators still using it for tithe collection

disagrees with #3. all gender loves sex and, stop speaking for all men if i want sex more than a woman does why im i keeping myself a virgin. for ur info im not waiting for marraige but, for the right one!

unmask: Abraham, jacob, david, solomon etc are people we look up to... and don't talk about old testament cos our pators still using it for tithe collection

And all these people u mentioned explicitly said Fornication and Adultery aint sins abi?

This is fantastic!

njokusboy: Point number 5 is a big fat lie, no man intentionally marries established b'itc he's, now bitch is relative, going to the club does not make one a bi,t'ch, there are girls who go to a club with their boyfriends and respect themselves, but those who go to a club to attract other men and pitch in with every tom, d'i'c'k and harry are on another level...
No responsible man wants them.. They can marry them without knowing their secrets though... Every man wants to marry a good girl not one that has been mounted by every stallion in town and has the attitude of a cheetah...
Dat is why my igbo brothers sleep with 1000 girls and quietly return from the village with a little, ignorant unknown girl in tow....

Did you notice that the OP put an age limit to her observations?
she said she realised it in her 30yrs of existence, if you are not 30, you will never understand what she is saying and she didn't expect you to either, reason for the disclaimer.

The opinion I read here easily tells me that here is an assortment of minors, it doesn't mean they have nothing to offer but relationship wise, it will definitely be a mistake to take their words for anything.

You said responsible men dont marry wh0res, who married Kim kardishian? who married JLO? who married Angelina Jolie? or are they not wh0res enough?
How can you make such statement when I am sure you don't know what it takes for a man to be responsible?

You said your ibo brothers pick wives from the village a naive mind you are, you thought they went for Virginia? lol the village gals are worse dan city gals, they just chose a soft target whom they will uplift financially in exchange for her unalloyed control.

I am sure the OP never knew this when she was a teenager like you.
for 19yr olds who are still drumming the chest of virginity, my take is this "may experience teach you better".

As a guy, you always look for more if the sex is goooood. Unless the toto get condition.

What I know is in this present age, relationship tactics & formation has change.

insightful fresh read especially coming from a gurl.

the occasional igbotic "ha!" lacing lines, notwithstanding

[quote author=Sweetlemon][/quote]OP, you definitely know nothing about Men, sex or marriage. Though you got some points, but you lost them at certain instances. For example when you said men don't like Good women - that's a fat lie. In as much as men needs a woman who is machine on bed which we can most times term as Bad Girl, a man also needs a faithful woman. A man needs not only a wife or bedmate, but a mother in a wife. One who can mother him and his children. Men needs a woman that possess the quality of a good mother. We don't need that bad girl who is likely to cheat. We don't need that girl who cant inculcate good morals in our kids. I am a man and i can stand out to tell you this. You haven't sat around married and unmarried men to discuss about relationships and marriage but i have so i can tell you more if you wish to know. Also i will tell you that a men don't like having sex with who they love. If a man is not married to you but loves you not for sex, he feels bad when he lost control and eventually have sex with you. Now what i'm saying is that a man who does not love you for sex must feel bad each time he has sex with you. I have looked within myself and noticed that i never love any lady whenever sex was my priority. I might like her but...no love. Having sex with one you are not married to is degrading and that's why you have to pay prostitute for services and that's why guys must pay their girlfriends in cash. I believe girl you truely love is like a sister to you. Having sex with her is hurting her. Sit down with men and you will learn

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Sweetlemon: We hear them all the time. These are things our big sisters, aunts, and mothers drum into our heads while growing up. Now all grown up, spiritual mentors keep warning us about them in our fellowships, church/mosque services, etc. But all my almost 30 years on earth has shown me a lot of realities.

Disclaimer: This article is in no way whatsoever against waiting till marriage for sex. It only separates fantasy from facts. If you want to remain a virgin till marriage please do. If you want to stop having sex till marriage, please do.

1. A Man Will Love You More After Marriage/ A Man Will Marry You Only If He Loves You:

Ha! Mbanu! A man (even women) doesn't love his wife more after marriage. Why? Marriage is an eye opener, it is after marriage that you know EXACTLY who you have married. If it turns out you married the right person for you, then the loves grows, but if it turns out to be one chance, OYO l' wa.
Do not marry a man that doesn't love you. This is because the bitter truth is that Many men do not marry for love. Many marry because they need a helper. Because their parents are on their necks, for traditional titles/more respect in the society, even for business purposes. So don't get all mushy and swept off your feet just yet just because one guy just proposed to you.
Always remember this, getting married is a destination. Keeping your marriage is a whole new never ending journey. Do not confuse the two of them.

2. A Man Will Respect/Love You More When You Make Him Chase You Longer:

This one is a very popular myth my mum was always singing into our ears *rolls eyse*. I have this cousin who had this toaster that was on her case for about five years, we were all "aww", "eh ya this guy really means it" etc. But immediately they had sex, his behavior towards her changed. I have heard of relationships that started with sex on the first date that led to marriage.
See, my sisters, a man that will love you will love you. When a man really enjoys having sex/making out with you, you are already half way there. You just need to work on other areas such as his likes, interests, etc. I'm not saying you should open leg like remote-controlled TV o. Just be yourself and allow your intuition and body chemistry guide and guard you. Don't set any time, let things flow naturally. What will be must be.
Chikena!

3. A Man Will Marry You If You Refuse Sex Till Marriage:

Like seriously! Na only you waka come? Na only you get toto? Puleeeze! A man doesn't marry just because he wants sex! He can get sex anywhere. You hear me so? Anywhere! It doesn't have to be from you! Let's even look at it this way, fine you hold out till marriage, after finally getting it after marriage what next? Is it your toto that will sustain the marriage? You must be a learner! I know some unhappily married women who married as virgins. I know some bad girls who married men most virgins dream of.
Like I said earlier, A man that wants to marry you will marry you.

4. If A Man Loves You He Won't Want To Have Sex Till Marriage:

Ha! You obviously do not know jack about men! See, as a general rule, men love sex. In fact, when a man hits on you, he wants sex as part of whatever package he wants from you. Whether na one night stand, side dish, contract, or marriage. If he doesn't, chances are that something is seriously wrong with him. Babe shine your eyes, if your intending husband has never had an erection while both of you are alone. Ha!
Even if you do not want to have sex with him until marriage, make sure that chemistry is there. Make sure you see a sign of hot and steamy nights to come after marriage. Thank me later.
Sex is not love, but love has a lot to do with sex. You can have sex with someone without loving that person, but you cannot love someone without wanting to have sex. The difference is that while sex is demanding, love is patient. A man that loves you will wait till the right moment to do it and will still love and respect you afterwards, a man that loves you will make love to you, he will make it as good as possible for you. But a man in lust will want it now...........and he will chase you until he gets it and when he gets it, pele o!

5. Men Only Like Good Girls/Good Girls Get The Best Men/Good Girls Marry First:

This one doesn't need long talk, all my mature single sisters in church can testify to this. See, men like good girls that have fire underneath them. So if you are a good boring girl whose life revolves around church-fellowship-work-home. Ah! My sister, even the brothers-in-the lord these days will call you a total bore!
I'm not saying you should start clubbing o. Mba o! Just saying you should spice up your social life a lil bit more. Go out and meet more people, don't be afraid of looking and feeling sexy. You definitely can be sexy without being trashy.

Like I always keep saying, a man that will love you will love you. The man that has made up his mind to marry you will marry you, even if his mother threatens to commit suicide. Trust me, a man that is emotionally, mentally, and financially ready for marriage does not have to date you for up to a month before he knows that he's going to put a ring on it. Men, I mean men are very practical and they know what they want. Adam knew Eve was from his ribs the very second he set eyes on her. It's great to have a good character, you will definitely get more responsible suitors with your inner beauty. But a man that will love that biitch will love her regardless. See, marriage is all about fate, when your own time is right, it will happen. Marriage is about finding that person who wants to spend the rest of his life with you just the way you are. So don't feel like life is unfair when Pamela, the same girl you've been preaching to marries before you. Every one of us has different time tables in life. And always remember, It's not about when you marry but how well you marry.

Cheers!

See likes; 134 and counting. You don spoil people kids be that.

Sweetlemon:
3. A Man Will Marry You If You Refuse Sex Till Marriage:

Like seriously! Na only you waka come? Na only you get toto? Puleeeze! A man doesn't marry just because he wants sex! He can get sex anywhere. You hear me so? Anywhere! It doesn't have to be from you! Let's even look at it this way, fine you hold out till marriage, after finally getting it after marriage what next? Is it your toto that will sustain the marriage? You must be a learner! I know some unhappily married women who married as virgins. I know some bad girls who married men most virgins dream of.

Excellent stuff from a female, we need more females to emulate this.

jpphilips:

Did you notice that the OP put an age limit to her observations?
she said she realised it in her 30yrs of existence, if you are not 30, you will never understand what she is saying and she didn't expect you to either, reason for the disclaimer.

The opinion I read here easily tells me that here is an assortment of minors, it doesn't mean they have nothing to offer but relationship wise, it will definitely be a mistake to take their words for anything.

You said responsible men dont marry wh0res, who married Kim kardishian? who married JLO? who married Angelina Jolie? or are they not wh0res enough?
How can you make such statement when I am sure you don't know what it takes for a man to be responsible?

You said your ibo brothers pick wives from the village a naive mind you are, you thought they went for Virginia? lol the village gals are worse dan city gals, they just chose a soft target whom they will uplift financially in exchange for her unalloyed control.

I am sure the OP never knew this when she was a teenager like you.
for 19yr olds who are still drumming the chest of virginity, my take is this "may experience teach you better".

Bros, are you saying that from his post you can conclude that he is less than 30 and that he doesn't know what it takes for a man to be responsible? Sorry o, but were you 30 before you knew how to be a responsible man?

Besides, will you classify all the men that married those ladies you listed as 'responsible'?

And the village girls being worse than city girls thing, don't you think that's too much of a generalisation?

I just feel you should allow the guy make his points without fear or intimidation. He has his points and you have yours.

Oops! Hope I didn't just do thesame thing!

The OP post portray men as sex-freak dogs like many girls say or think about men but my fellow guys in these thread just proved her right reading their comments

jpphilips:

Did you notice that the OP put an age limit to her observations?
she said she realised it in her 30yrs of existence, if you are not 30, you will never understand what she is saying and she didn't expect you to either, reason for the disclaimer.

The opinion I read here easily tells me that here is an assortment of minors, it doesn't mean they have nothing to offer but relationship wise, it will definitely be a mistake to take their words for anything.

You said responsible men dont marry wh0res, who married Kim kardishian? who married JLO? who married Angelina Jolie? or are they not wh0res enough?
How can you make such statement when I am sure you don't know what it takes for a man to be responsible?

You said your ibo brothers pick wives from the village a naive mind you are, you thought they went for Virginia? lol the village gals are worse dan city gals, they just chose a soft target whom they will uplift financially in exchange for her unalloyed control.

I am sure the OP never knew this when she was a teenager like you.
for 19yr olds who are still drumming the chest of virginity, my take is this "may experience teach you better".

You forgot to mention the lifestyle of their husband.

Kim kardashian Married to Kanye West

Angelina Jolie the wife of Brad Pitt

JLO married to Marc Anthony, Cris judd ... I don't even know her current husband.

Do you know about these men? What will say you about them.

Sweetlemon: We hear them all the time. These are things our big sisters, aunts, and mothers drum into our heads while growing up. Now all grown up, spiritual mentors keep warning us about them in our fellowships, church/mosque services, etc. But all my almost 30 years on earth has shown me a lot of realities.

Disclaimer: This article is in no way whatsoever against waiting till marriage for sex. It only separates fantasy from facts. If you want to remain a virgin till marriage please do. If you want to stop having sex till marriage, please do.

1. A Man Will Love You More After Marriage/ A Man Will Marry You Only If He Loves You:

Ha! Mbanu! A man (even women) doesn't love his wife more after marriage. Why? Marriage is an eye opener, it is after marriage that you know EXACTLY who you have married. If it turns out you married the right person for you, then the loves grows, but if it turns out to be one chance, OYO l' wa.
Do not marry a man that doesn't love you. This is because the bitter truth is that Many men do not marry for love. Many marry because they need a helper. Because their parents are on their necks, for traditional titles/more respect in the society, even for business purposes. So don't get all mushy and swept off your feet just yet just because one guy just proposed to you.
Always remember this, getting married is a destination. Keeping your marriage is a whole new never ending journey. Do not confuse the two of them.

2. A Man Will Respect/Love You More When You Make Him Chase You Longer:

This one is a very popular myth my mum was always singing into our ears *rolls eyse*. I have this cousin who had this toaster that was on her case for about five years, we were all "aww", "eh ya this guy really means it" etc. But immediately they had sex, his behavior towards her changed. I have heard of relationships that started with sex on the first date that led to marriage.
See, my sisters, a man that will love you will love you. When a man really enjoys having sex/making out with you, you are already half way there. You just need to work on other areas such as his likes, interests, etc. I'm not saying you should open leg like remote-controlled TV o. Just be yourself and allow your intuition and body chemistry guide and guard you. Don't set any time, let things flow naturally. What will be must be.
Chikena!

3. A Man Will Marry You If You Refuse Sex Till Marriage:

Like seriously! Na only you waka come? Na only you get toto? Puleeeze! A man doesn't marry just because he wants sex! He can get sex anywhere. You hear me so? Anywhere! It doesn't have to be from you! Let's even look at it this way, fine you hold out till marriage, after finally getting it after marriage what next? Is it your toto that will sustain the marriage? You must be a learner! I know some unhappily married women who married as virgins. I know some bad girls who married men most virgins dream of.
Like I said earlier, A man that wants to marry you will marry you.

4. If A Man Loves You He Won't Want To Have Sex Till Marriage:

Ha! You obviously do not know jack about men! See, as a general rule, men love sex. In fact, when a man hits on you, he wants sex as part of whatever package he wants from you. Whether na one night stand, side dish, contract, or marriage. If he doesn't, chances are that something is seriously wrong with him. Babe shine your eyes, if your intending husband has never had an erection while both of you are alone. Ha!
Even if you do not want to have sex with him until marriage, make sure that chemistry is there. Make sure you see a sign of hot and steamy nights to come after marriage. Thank me later.
Sex is not love, but love has a lot to do with sex. You can have sex with someone without loving that person, but you cannot love someone without wanting to have sex. The difference is that while sex is demanding, love is patient. A man that loves you will wait till the right moment to do it and will still love and respect you afterwards, a man that loves you will make love to you, he will make it as good as possible for you. But a man in lust will want it now...........and he will chase you until he gets it and when he gets it, pele o!

5. Men Only Like Good Girls/Good Girls Get The Best Men/Good Girls Marry First:

This one doesn't need long talk, all my mature single sisters in church can testify to this. See, men like good girls that have fire underneath them. So if you are a good boring girl whose life revolves around church-fellowship-work-home. Ah! My sister, even the brothers-in-the lord these days will call you a total bore!
I'm not saying you should start clubbing o. Mba o! Just saying you should spice up your social life a lil bit more. Go out and meet more people, don't be afraid of looking and feeling sexy. You definitely can be sexy without being trashy.

Like I always keep saying, a man that will love you will love you. The man that has made up his mind to marry you will marry you, even if his mother threatens to commit suicide. Trust me, a man that is emotionally, mentally, and financially ready for marriage does not have to date you for up to a month before he knows that he's going to put a ring on it. Men, I mean men are very practical and they know what they want. Adam knew Eve was from his ribs the very second he set eyes on her. It's great to have a good character, you will definitely get more responsible suitors with your inner beauty. But a man that will love that biitch will love her regardless. See, marriage is all about fate, when your own time is right, it will happen. Marriage is about finding that person who wants to spend the rest of his life with you just the way you are. So don't feel like life is unfair when Pamela, the same girl you've been preaching to marries before you. Every one of us has different time tables in life. And always remember, It's not about when you marry but how well you marry.

Cheers!

forum like dis will misguide a lot of people....... Guy , u are wrong.... Follow d Godly path . God has already given us do's and dont's ........95% of men outside there wants just sex from a woman.... D ladies out there are not secured..... And it will still get worser than this.... I just pity some ladies outside there, they just wanna have fun too. Wen u get a man , just settle down for him instead of tryin to be d hottest chick and some of them turning their bathroom to studio

Threads like this usually gets guys on nairaland very excited. ... Lemme read a few comments first.

Sweetlemon:

Good maturity you have there @sweetlemon, when I see this your calm composure despite the provocative statement by that mofo, looking like baboon in suit, I know you are a well-mannered woman.

Nigerians are allergic to the truth, some lowlifers will come here simulating as saints and trying to take dig at anyone that proclaimed the truth, but what they do in corner is irritating to the extreme.

Spot on, My Lady

IrishKez: Like seriously the Op captured the interest of most men here in her write up but most of the claims are subjective.
There are no basis to categorically rule out the fact that some men,
1)Are only married to those whom they have passionate love to. Not all men are married to any lady cos of family or societal pressures. Again for those who married not necessarily for love there are chances that they'll come to love their wives(each other) after marriage(sometimes this is generally dependent on the character of the woman and man). This is possible cos marriage brings you both more closer and you come to share so many intimacy(this with the exclusion of sex includes knowing the secret person of the heart, and being endeared by these as they come to the fore)

2)I know that our generation mostly have a uniform way of thinking and responding to issues like this and as such might easily give up or dislike a hard to get lady. But the good news is that there are some crop of men out there that appreciates a lady and even love them the more after they had gone out of their way to get them. For them it's an aphrodisiac of a sort while to others it is a sign of good parenting(it is debatable though). Yes some guys like that exist!

3) The rule in two above generally applies to the third submission by the Op

4) This is usually seen among devout Christians and real gentlemen or I'd rather say men with an unbending policy. They may be in love with a certain sister/lady but out of respect for God/for the lady to whom they're in love with and or for their humble self have refused to lay down with them until their wedding night. It's not because our society have turned good to look like evil and vice versa that will make one make such submission without giving recurs to the good guys out there.

5) Need I say more on this. There are different characters of men Op. I might agree that they may be in the lesser number but they prefer good low key girls to the perceived wild or outgoing ones. Its a different stoke for different peeps.


Interesting read I must admit though.

Spot on, sis - I couldn't agree more with your observations of men and the manner of your articulation in putting these observations across. You must have great eyes for a thing!

Thank God it is coming from a lady. If it were a guy that posted this, we would have been insulted, bashed and called all sorts of names.

Goop article, very articulate and concise; wouldn't have said it better.