~Sauron~:

If she is an obnoxious impertinent pig, i would.
Sarah gave Hagar to her husband?? How many men gave their wives to a slave to shag??

Shame on you!!
She had reasons for doing so and i don't blame her.

well, i am sorry, i actually know lots of guys that give their girls second chances unlike ur assumption

stillwater:

The point is YOU men would kick her out if she cheats but hypocritically want her to still live with you if you cheat. PATHETIC!!!!

na2day?:

well, i am sorry, i actually know lots of guys that give their girls second chances unlike ur assumption

Oh blimey, the world's eventually turning into a good place.

nope, the world remains the same, u only chose to see half of it.

stillwater:

Oh blimey, the world's eventually turning into a good place.

my dear, its so unfortunante something like this should happen to you, especially in pregnancy. a lot of men cheat on their wives. it didnt start 2day and it wont stop.
the decision 2 leave your usband depends entirely on you. there are women who will stay with a cheating husband and tolerate all his rubbish while others will walk out of it without baiting an eyelid.

in africa, women are always blamed in 1 way or another for a cheating husband. they never blame the man; its disgusting. but if the woman cheats, the heavens will come down and she will be thrown out of the house. when this doesnt happen, then know it is only the man that knows that his wife cheated on him. the world doesnt know.

the bible said we can divorce a spouse that commits adultery, so you already have God's word to guide you. but personally, i think you should concentrate on having baby first and know what line of action to take next. pray about your situation and visit an anionted man of God for counselling, you and your spouse. i know God can turn his life around.

its hard to forgive him but you could let this go. if he does it again, the know the marriage isnt for you, you can then take whatever decision is right for you and your baby.

people cheat for a lot of reasons but not when the marriage isnt long and they are expecting a baby. sorry to say, but i dont think he deserves you.

take heart and i know you and only you can have the final say!

ula - i appreciate what you say and i think now isn't the time to make a hasty decision, your right he doesn't deserve me. I asked him to leave the house and stay with some friend until i could make a clear decision.

Na2day- I think you must have me confused with another Leyla, ive probably made 10 posts on this forum and the majority regarding Religion. I have nothing against Nigerians! So please get your facts straight, after all i am married to one!

Before he cheated i was also in Hospital in and out for 3 days (baby problem), not once did this man come with me or show concern for his baby. I don't think in any way that i pushed him to cheat, hes just a natural prat!
Ive had a lot of his friends tell me give him a chance he wont do it again, the fact is they don't have to live with him and spend the rest of the life with him, knowing that he has done the unthinkable. Why do men automatically assume that the wife must not be satisfying the Man or it is her fault. Cant it be that the Husband has no Morals and is incapable of talking things through with his partner when problems arise?

Its hard to believe that you women dont see such things coming??

Like, you guys dated, you spent time with him, didnt you see signs??

or Love blinded you so much??

Leyla,
Its really unfortunate ur husband behaved irresponsibly this way. Moreso, considering ur present state.
But I dont think leaving him is the solution.
Let me ask u some questions
1. Are u xristians/ do u go to church? If yes, have u seen ur pastor on this issue?
2. Do u knw any of his/ur family members he respects? Are they in the knw of his actions?
3. Do u have any elderly African family lady around u that can cousel?
I asked u these questions because most of the posts I read hear are too cosmetic or emotional. U and ur husband need counsel thats is practical (born out of experiences), positive, future-conscious and above all Godly.
Great and suceessful marriages are not devoid of challenges (cheating and infidelity inclusive). But, these challenges are surmountable if sacrifices and hardwork can be employed to make the Union work.
Once again, leaving ur hubby is not the solution.

@ Gamine

Abeg, don't be too hard on those sistas who are blinded by love. Love is like a quick sand, once they're in, they sink deeper and deeper.

@Gamine - you obviously have a perfect life and have never had anything happen to. Well, thank god. But not everything is so clear and goes to plan. Do i know that whilst im a sleep my Husband is cheating? No!
Do you think i would have married someone, knowing that in the future he would cheat? No!
Your post obviously shows you are naive. So i wont bother educating you!
And how do you know that your partner isnt cheating too!!

@Leyla

No one's life is perfect,

but people must take responsibility for things.


Dont come here wailing about this guy,

We dont even know what his side is,


Maybe you have been spending too much time with your horses sef

Femmace, I am Muslim and my Husband is Christian i have spoke to his sister who i am close to and is disgusted in his actions.  My posts maybe irrational or emotional but that is expected with the current situation i am in. I have thought of councilling but i don't think i am at that stage yet, my blood still boils when i think or see him.

Gemine, Silence you fool!
Im now pressing the ignore button on you!

@Gamine

Be nice.

What should his side be? What would make it okay for him to cheat on his pregnant wife?

Sorry, Leyla, be strong for yourself and your child. Let the sleeping dog lie.

If u wouldnt Mind, Ill like to talk with u over this

Gamine:

@Leyla

No one's life is perfect,

but people must take responsibility for things.


don't come here wailing about this guy,

We don't even know what his side is,


Maybe you have been spending too much time with your horses sef

How do you mean?
pls this not time for jokes

U can send ur UK landline to
femmace@hotmail.com

Im sorry, i dont take anybodys sides.

neither do i throw pity partys for anyone.

i do not condone cheating either

and i know some people are naturally stupid.

But,

Your story here has a but, whether you like it not.

Press any button you want, You cannot delete my post, you will still read it, d'oh

Naive, fool

its all good.

Seriously speaking, men do cheat because of emotional dissatisfaction.

Sauron,

How do us suppose we make sure our husband emotional needs are properly addressed?

I ask my husband if anything is bothering him all the time.
I tell him what a good provider, lover and friend he is.
I let him know how much i love him and appreciate all that he does.
I praise him and reward him when he does something special, or just when he comes home (he,he)
I reassure him all the time that my heart belongs to him and only him.

Are there other things that I can be doing to make sure his emotional needs are taken care of.

Leyla i said it before. Concentrate on what is best for you and your baby. You do not need to miscarry your baby over the amount of stress that this boy is putting you trough. He is obviously insensitive and disrespectful. I do say when the fire is out and the smoke starts to clear, that you try and go for counseling, you and your husband. Even if it cannot work out for you. You must come together for the child. Even if you all are divorcing.

@ Leyla

my apologies if u arent the lady that keeps coming here to bash nigerian men. i do not support what ur hubby did but i am strongly against women that do nothing but bash men. may God heal ur heart and give u the wisdom on what to do and how to do it. may god also touch ur hubby to change his ways.

@poster, concentrate on the child and maybe later u can give him a dose of his own medicine

na2day abeg leave Leyla. She is another world. That her husband is all kinds of things o according to her yet she stays with him. The man must not be that bad abi.

@ POSTER

have u ever heard of two words called "Spy gadgets" tap his mobile, car and get a private investigator to follow his a$$, then take him to court and talk half if not all of what he's got, makes no sense sticking around because that's just waste of time, move on and find someone who is much better, good luck

i could have sworn she is the same person that has all these stories about her hubby, well, i might be wrong

Outstrip:

na2day abeg leave Leyla. She is another world. That her husband is all kinds of things o according to her yet she stays with him. The man must not be that bad abi.

Prayer is the key.

@Na2day - Apology accepted, like i said before i am not the same woman, i have been to Nigeria a few times and love it. I have no reason to slate anything to do with Nigeria. I am complaining only about my Husband, this is the first time i have ever spoke about him, as earlier mentioned its mainly been religion i have talked about.

@ Outstrip - If you read my earlier posts i split from my Husband the moment i found out, we no longer live together.

I have taken some of the replies on board and we will be going for councilling - not so we can be together again, but for the sake of the child, so he will not be affected by our situation.

When I was pregnant my husband really enjoyed me and didn't stray

When I was pregnant my husband really enjoyed me and didn't stray

leyla, were are you from what etnicity??

Leilah:

When I was pregnant my husband really enjoyed me and didn't stray

leyla, were are you from what etnicity??

How are you sure he didnt stray? Because you didnt catch his dikc inside the pussie? Oh why hwy hwy - i know him and he cheats you like anything.

I am Leilah also, I am irish Jordanian I am also muslim and my husband is no religion. Leyla get out of that marriage. You know a good muslim brother wouldn't do the like. I have been to Nigeria myself. I have a daughter my husband doesnt go out to pubs and hang around sinful places if he did I woudl have blown him out in a heartbeat and you should do the same.

As I have said ilaugh I watch him like a hawk.