my Igbo man di egwu na bed.
I'm satisfied

sheniqua:

my Igbo man di ewu na bed.
I'm satisfied

Eeeeeeeeeeen. Stop calling me at 12 am then. Infact nga change my numba. Okwa gi winter would soon be here again. 

On a second thought I understand. Hapu Tosh.

Tosh Union umu akpara will write u soon, Feli has gone missing.

Ikomi:

My brother I wonder? Ochoro ulatara nwanyi nno na di ogu. Juo ya ma o witnesiri di alulu.

The boy ga akpa su kwam iwe soon. What if Nwando decides to come to lovely Ikomi, which means the guy ga adaba na atlantic.

And giwan u need to be careful, that u supported me now does'nt mean we've turned friends.

Eweghim enyi, except nwado baby.

Eji m enyi gi eme kwanu gini?

Romanus dikwa kiaful, ikomi bi na Brighton, ebe ahu ka ndi gay jiri may be, who knows
Ikocrazy ele gi now. I'na enwete kwa onwe gi.

Ikomi:

My brother I wonder? Ochoro ulatara nwanyi nno na di ogu. Juo ya ma o witnesiri di alulu.

The boy ga akpa su kwam iwe soon.  What if Nwando decides to come to lovely Ikomi, which means the guy ga adaba na atlantic.

And giwan u need to be careful, that u supported me now does'nt mean we've turned friends. 

Eweghim enyi, except nwado baby. 

Pres isim akwonaghi aha,  . Ngwan kam lee ihe nga eme now? 

Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres Pres

Just a piece of advice before I leave, "onye achona uka"   

mgbe O bula GC jiri gacha bia,m ga a musturururrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrru quote gharia gi now.onye anuru 

romeo:

Eji m enyi gi eme kwanu gini?

Ajuju?ole udika relationship di na etiti ijiji(housefly) na nama(cow) lol  o buru na i maghi,owu udika affair gi na Ikomi na eme now.unu abuo di onwe unu nkpa.iwem bu na a maghim onye bu ijiji ma o bu nama in this case.

presido1:

Romanus dikwa kiaful, ikomi bi na Brighton, ebe ahu ka ndi gay jiri may be, who knows
Ikocrazy ele gi now. I'na enwete kwa onwe gi.

ole otu i si mara na obi na Brighton?asiri wont kill you. 

ole onye kporo onwe ya Iyke419?onye ahu kpachara anya ooooh.unu a hula,boiss che na owu my email addy kam posturu were bia na e flood m with love stories na poem.  Iyke419 hapu m aka oooooo 
highest iwe di na obim now.e needirim akwa a suru asu(pounded egg) to cool down.o nwere onye nwere ya hia? 

presssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss stop pressing me.
goodmorning NNa anyi ukwu.

umu igbo hi Xcept mmadu abuo.

ifyalways:

presssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss stop pressing me.
goodmorning NNa anyi ukwu.
umu igbo hi Xcept mmadu abuo.

O'kwa ejim nwayo nwayo na eme d'press up lol
ok next time owu gi ga e'press m .
ma obu anyi anoro chamfa.

ole ka i'mere?

You for tell fake to reply the person and get his contacts before u spill the bean. U don act like mofo for dis one.
Infact u no be ifyalways i know again

lmao.

presido1:

O'kwa ejim nwayo nwayo na eme d'press up lol
ok next time owu gi ga e'press m .
ma obu anyi anoro chamfa.

ole ka i'mere?

You for tell fake to reply the person and get his contacts before u spill the bean. You don act like mofo for this one.
Infact u no be ifyalways i know again

first,gi na onye na eme press up?
chamfa for what?i maghizi na ihe na egwu now wu " one leg up"? arumbaa stylee
jukwa Romy,egwu eji now bu "one leg up" or " aka abuo na ala,okpa abuo na elu"
lol,Fake don reply ppl so tay him don tire.ihe nkea digwa egwu,boiss ndi amu nko,pluesee "i have been taken,tooken and tooked" lol make una no pour sand for my garri ooooooh.
Pres ole otu i mere dearie?rove you rots. i ga na abiakwa?

ifyalways:

lmao.first,gi na onye na eme press up?
jukwa Romy,egwu eji now bu "one leg up" or " aka abuo na ala,okpa abuo na elu"

what if i dey for wheelchair
Abeg na chara m d' somffin in a chamfa way. when i get rid of the wchair we can go hell wire
ndia choro i snatchiri gi from fake? i di sure na owughi onye swiss na ede ihe ahu onu m sharrrrrrap.
I go come for sure, ma man d wed so na be the best mannnn. u wanna be the best woman?
less i forget wetin nwando said bout umu nwanyi NL lol

Pres nsi na akpa m.   oge eruola m ga akwusi e ri beans sef   the disgrace a dila 3 much  
Pres gwam gwam gwam,gwam udika nsi m ga anyu now?  
1. GHOST NSI
The kind where you feel the nsi come out, but there is no nsi in the toilet.

2. CLEAN NSI
The kind where you nyuoma d nsi iout, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

3. WET NSI
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels n-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt na your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

4. SECOND WAVE NSI
This happens when i nyuchara nsi and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to nyuola some more.

5. POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD NSI
The kind where you Strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

6. LINCOLN LOG NSI:
The kind of nsi that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it ntakiri ntakiri with the toilet brush.

7. GASSY NSI
It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

8. DRINKER'S NSI
The kind of nsi you have the morning after a long night of drinking. N jiri mara ya bu skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

9. CORN NSI
The kind of nsi where the corn looks like raisins in a muffin.

10. GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-NYUOLA NSI NSI:
The kind where you want to nyuola nsi but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

11. SPINAL TAP NSI:
That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.nke a na fu ncha.

12. WET CHEEKS NSI
(The Michael Schumacher nsi): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with mmiri.

13. THE DANGLING NSI:
This nsi refuses to drop in the toilet even though na i nyuchala. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

14. THE SURPRISE NSI:
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* - nsi oku !

pres nsi jim badly  

presido1:

what if i dey for wheelchair
Abeg na chara m d' somffin in a chamfa way. when i get rid of the wchair we can go hell wire
ndia choro i snatchiri gi from fake? i di sure na owughi onye swiss na ede ihe ahu onu m sharrrrrrap.
I go come for sure, ma man d wed so na be the best mannnn. u want to be the best woman?
less i forget wetin nwando said bout umu nwanyi Nairaland lol

Nsi na akpam buko.
for the last time,a maghim onye bu nwoke swiss a maghim onye zuru ma password were logua in dee ihe awu.o bughim,ifyalways dere dat thing,owu ifysometimes,i guess na odere ihe wu mgbe o nwuru kai kai.a julam abt dat again buko.
lol Nwando si na umu nwanyi NL bu ndi onyu nsi eg ME.ole ihe i ji ajum sef?eze asiri

what is NSI? if i may ask.

lmao.
pres i naghizi ekwu okwu,o dika o bughi nanim ka nsi ji sef  
pres a gala mpochi oooooooh !
happy mpochi session i wish you  

i si na enyi gi na eme wedding?jiri gi mere best nwoke?cheeei onye ahu a maghi your profile at all. . , i pity the babes at the bachelors eve.

presido1:

what is NSI? if i may ask.

ole onye i na aju?i maghi ihe wu nsi?i richa ajo ofe ahu i na eri ole ihe i na eme ya?i naghi aga mpochi?a jukwala udika ajuju ahu again.
NSI = MPOCHI ok a chefurum na i bu bush man,in your bush man language Nsi = latrine

presido1:

what is NSI? if i may ask.

hmmn on a second thought though,o gini ka i na eche na nsi bu?
i just hope na o bughi ihe m na eche na i chere now ooooh
i sincerely hope so

Ok is that what u call it? we call it shit.
U remember me of somffin now,
when i was doing ma appostolic work in one community called TBH(3 big head)
One guy visited me for fathers house ebe mbi, so the guy was pressed and ask for ma permission to use the toilet.
So me egosi ya ebe the toilet di, wen the guy finished toileting now he come flush the stuff but nsi refused to flush.
As he was waiting for the water to fill up so that he can flush the second time, The rev father came over to use the toilet as well.
Immediately he flushed the second time but de nsi agba isi akwara for dia. Do u know what the guy did, He calmly put hand and collected the Nsi,
put the thing for his pocket, just act like noffin happened. Thats was pear(Ube) season, when he came out from the toilet, one sista that came to visit the rev saw his swollen pocket and tot he has pear in there and asked him for pear. ya gwa the sista na obughi pear but the insisted to see what he has.Do u know what the guy did?

lmao
Pres i choro i gbum
unu biakwa nuru akuko ,akuko nsi for that marrra
buko tell me,did the guy,maya aka na akpa weputa d ube nsi?
ihe na eme nu uwa

To ma suprise i just ralised that the guy wu onye Arochukwu.

presido1:

To ma suprise i just ralised that the guy wu onye Arochukwu.

iwu onye apari 
onye Arochukwu i para nsi na aka?fiakwa 
bia Pres be kaiful ooo,o bughikwa maka na mu na gi na etinye aka n'ike na esi n'imi mere i ga eji aba m ime now. ole udi mkpari wu nka? 
infact buy garri.stay alone and continue with akuko nsi gi.
hisses 

Bia Ify if i katch you dia, mma eme gi ihe nna eme ndi arochukwu na uzoakoli.

ifyalways:

iwu onye apari
onye Arochukwu i para nsi na aka?fiakwa
mu na gi na etinye aka n'ike na esi n'imi

at least nke a now said it all. Itinye aka na ike gi esie na ime chei
u need to see ma face as am typing the line above. What is the distance between ime gi na onu gi?
Oge n'biara CIV i will make sure u wash ur hands with izal.

Maka this comment you have made above,mgbe o bula i biara CIV,i would make sure you not just lick the fingers,i would see to it that you suck on it for 1 hr. . . without that,no show 
buko no try frown ihu gi at all at all,i joro njo e ji apu court normally,i biakwa frownia ya now,even Osama would be scared.
Pres say cheeese 

ole ihe a na akpo bye bye na igbo sef?i know its not ije oma errrhm,Ok Pres ka o di.ubochi nta ka anyi chuo na owere nchi 

so u neffa hear say Monkey no fin but e' mama like am.
I na aga i'nyu nsi? abeg no pocket am.

bye bye na igbo bu byeeeeeeeee. or lewa anya

presido1:

so u neffa hear say Monkey no fin but e' mama like am.
I na aga i'nyu nsi? abeg no pocket am.

highest mkpari ! the mkpari of the century 
buy garri.Yes, am proudly going to nyuola nsi.anyi ga ahu mgbe anyi ga ahu.
Ihu Ikomi,Romy,Darfur,tosh,Echelon,Youngies,Kashiff,Mortiple,Ynot,Uche2nna,sheniqua,GC,jennykadry ma o bu nnenneeeeeeeeeeeeeeigboniile,i zie ha ozi oma" ify gara mpochi"

igbo ndeewo nu 

To prevent you from pocketing the nsi, i invoke nsi otoro(watery type) to ur onu nsi.
watch out.
Happy nsi time

Aguru na agu m now.

chidi afo nri
all nsi na nsi,there is none greater.ha niile si na otu onu aputa and end up na otu onu too.
thanks for the wishes,surely nsi kam a gaghi akpa m
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

U no fit find me somffin to eat?
Onye aka gum, aka titanic, eri-eri di ka gi.

Lekwa nsi nyuwa, amaghi m ma nri anaghi atapado gi na afo
ka iche na obu constant inyu nsi ga eme gi enwee flat tommy
nwanyi afo gulder,

I choro i ri nsi now?
me,afo gulder?lol o di nma.time wud tell

but wait oooo,this one bukwa another method of getting a flat afo,constant and continous nsi all d tummy fat wud be shitted out
Pres e kwelam nyuo nsi na ahum buko.leave me to go please.

Igbo Mmamanu!
A gaba agaba a kaara Eze, a naaba anaaba a kaara Eze!

Esi m ONNEH aga! Onneh no n'okpuru ochichi Orumba-S, n' Anambra siteeti.

Ndi b'ayi mma mmanu!!!

Helmet nwa nnaaa nnooo!

Kedu ka eke si anya anwu?

igbo looooow
@Helmeeeeet ndeewo.aha gi nkea di egwu.ole udika helment iwu?helmet eji eze mmiri,mgbo egbe ka o bu helment nke . . . .juo Tosh
ya gaziere gi.

ole ihe mega happen?o dika nsi ji mmadu nile na threadia.lol
wishing everybody hia a happy and stressless nsi session day.

GC,you know i miss you,you know it do hope that all is well?.remain blessed !

Igbo Good Day.

Onwere onye huru Nwando?

Ahurum Nwando mana osimu agwanagi ebe ya no.

How come u dont know were ur loved one is?

biko gwanu Ikomi ebe nwunye nwoke mmadu noo , onye na achu nwunye mmadu mara amara na anyi ga achu nwunye ya