I guess the ladies in the house are trying to make this look like a gender thing. @poster, better apologise and let peace reign. Apology will not reduce who you are instead, will add to you. Most of these ladies bragging that ou should not apologise would probably would have called neigbors, friends and families not leaving church pastor to beg on their behalf.

stillwater:

Osisi, I'm so glad you're here. I saw this topic early this morning and it was really creepy how the husband acted all nice during dating, now he's something else. And then again the most scary part was some of the advice here. He did not only slap, he's also giving her silent treatments. Such wickedness!!!! It's really pathetic!

My sister,it's those of you that are unmarried that I weep for if this is the crowd your husbands may emanate from?
Please take them for psych evaluation and ask hard questions before saying "I do"
[b]my medical asst (an african american) told me that when her husband came to see her parents for the first time before they got married,the man went into his bedroom at some point and brought out a pistol and told in jokingly (but seriously)  that he'll use it if he ever laid hands on his babygirl.[/b]that was because he had a sister that was strangled by her husband.
These things are not to be taken lightly.
Men who kill their wives had all promised to love her at some point.

Elderberry speak for yourself and your wife if anybody will even subject themselves to marriage to you. You are very irresponsible to sit here and tell a pregnant woman who got slapped by her husband to apologize to the man. You should be ashamed. People like you are the kind that have told woman to stay with abusive men and when they kill her or seriously injure her you all will then be quiet. The fact that it does not rub you the wrong way that a man slaps his pregnant wife shows me that you are the child of the devil and that if you have not already beat up your wife you will soon. Shameless men.

otukpo:

The splapping was not as a result of the woman being 100% dependent on the husband financially. So lets not miss the point. Whether the woman has a better paying job than the husband or not, a husband that will batter will batter.

No body is saying that what the man did was right, slapping the wife was very wrong. But for peace to reign, someone must initiate it. The woman apologising wld not make the man feel that his slapping was right. Afterall, the woman said that the man has always said he wldnt raise a hand on a woman b4 marriage. So he knows that what he did was wrong.

Delly, go and apologise to ur husband for trying to murder him with ur tongue. U wld see that the man is more sorry for what he did than u think. Shebi u said it was this man's niceness made u fall for him. So he can still remain nice. Pray to God for wisdom, because as a woman and a wife, u need it plenty plenty.

please tell me sincerely,are you married?

Dellynash, appologising is the slippery slope to even worse treatment. If you were my sister you would be out of his house as fast as you can.

Appologise now and you have:

a. told him it is ok for him to slap you next time

b. permanently ceded emotional authority over you to him.

Pele o . . . you got a bad husband.

too_soon:

is that an advice? "The man needs to grow up and learn how to be a man."

please advice her and stop beating around the bush.

Read my earlier posts,I already gave my pieces of advise.
The same thing I'll tell my own sisters

davidylan:

Dellynash, appologising is the slippery slope to even worse treatment. If you were my sister you would be out of his house as fast as you can.

Appologise now and you have:

a. told him it is ok for him to slap you next time

b. permanently ceded emotional authority over you to him.

Pele o . . . you got a bad husband.

Now the real men are talking!
apologise ko,agbalumo ni

ferdimako:

I noticed this woman (the poster) is this kind of women that want a man to bring and bring. He brings about the relationship (she mentioned that she was always down with handsome men) and  I guess  when none popped the question, she went for this not-so-good-looking man (her current husband). This man works his ass out every day, comes home to say honey here honey there, no much strength to fukc her like she wants it (may be a sex freak though) and he starts to smell, hence she reminded/reminds him to take a bath. If the man has changed, so does the woman or she never improved at all.You know people who do not do much, always complain of others doing little.Experience from my younger brother!

Marriage and child birth are never a necessity.She can abort and leave this poor man in peace and go for fine-faced guys.

Mr Man,
damnnnnn u r cruel!! [img]http://1.2.3.13/bmi/emoticons4u.com/mad/boese089.gif[/img]

Learn to give good advice!

osisi, thanks my sister, prayer is on hand o. God loves HIS own  

too bad for nigeria environment is what i will continue to say. their phone no get 911  

please tell me sincerely,are you married?

@ osisi

I am not just married, but happily married. I have one of the sweetest men anyone cld get as a husband.

when women begin to understand that they are no lesser beings, then these annoying threads will stop.
What gives a husband the audacity to hit a woman worse still a pregnant wife
I married a MAN he is MAN indeed , the day he decides not to be one, (dot dot dot)

I still find it hard to believe the story. If the guy was so good that wanted to marry him, he could not have been a brute. If he is a brute and you married him, then you deserve what you got.

If however he is not a brute, there's something you're not telling anyone here.

A man does not just slap his wife because she said he should get in the shower/bath.

My wife tells me that on any saturday that I dont go out cos I wont have a shower till very late. I have never considered getting angry over it. . . I get in the shower when I'm ready and I leave her to keep reminding me.

This woman should tell a complete picture rather than demonising her husband because she wants some online sympathy.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE ON ANYONE OF THE LADIES TRYING TO HELP THIS POSTER THROW HER MARRIAGE TO THE BIN!!!!!!!!,IN AS MUCH AS I AM CONCERNED IT'S NOT PROPER TO RAISE OUR HANDS ON OUR WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WOULD ASK U LADIES ADVICING HER TO QUIT IF U ARE MARRIED,DIVORCED OR SINGLE IF U BELONG TO THE DIVORCED OR SINGLE CATEGORY I THINK IT'S AN ANSWER FOR YOU TO KNOW WHY YOU DO NOT HAVE A MAN TO CALL URS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT HAPPENED IS NOT AN ISSUE AS THE POSTER AS SAID IT WAS A SLAP AND WE PEOPLE IN MARRIAGE KNO WAT SHE IS TALKIN ABOUT,PLS DON'T GET ME WRONG AM NOT SUPPORTING THE MAN, ,BUT IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES IN MARRIAGES,
PLS BE CONSTRUCTIVE AND DO NOT RUIN ANOTHER PERSONS HOME,
POSTER I BLAIM U AS A PERSON FOR BRINGING UR MARITAL ISSUES ON THIS FORUM WE ALL KNOW WAT IS GUD FOR US,IF U THINK U WANT A DIVORCE GO AHEAD AND IF NOT STAY IN IT,GET CLOSE TO UR MAN AND DISCUSS IT OUT,
DO NOT ALLOW THIS SO CALLED ABROAD LADIES RUIN UR HOME THEY ARE TALKIN LIKE OYINBO'S WE KNO THEM WE SEE ALOTS OF THEM HERE AND THATS WHY THEY NEVER AVE A SUCCEDED HOME,
AS HAVE SAID EARLIER ASK UR MUM IF UR DAD AS NEVER SLAPPED HER IN THEIR 40 YEARS OR ABOVE MARRIAGE, DO NOT QUIT COS OF THIS LONG LIVE U AND UR HUSBAND AND BETTER DAYS AHEAD OF U,

hi, Ok I did not read all these statements (cuz there are a lot), so forgive me if anything I say is a repeat. Firstly, Dont blame yourself for not seeing this before. Most violent men appear perfect in the beginning. Secondly, if he slapped you, I'm sure he is verbally abusive as well, which is just as bad and just as stressful. Everyone is telling you to appologize, which you can, (but something tells me you already did) but Im sure his words arent the kindest all the time eaither.

99% of the time if a man hits you once HE WILL do it again. He will appologize call the la luz en mis ojos lol (spanish for the light in my eyes) and bla bla bla. Whatever to get u back, but he WILL most likely strike again. Your main concern should be protecting yourself and your baby. You can forgive him now, but if he does it again. Run like hell. There are two things that are unacceptable PERIOD, Abuse (of any kind) and Infidelity. I know many people will say stay, but if he is beating ur ass, and maybe even your child later, what good is this doing you. You should NEVER be any mans doormat, punching bag, or slave!! You deserve better. So, pray, and forgive, but let him know that if he ever touches you again. You are out of there and will be getting a restraining order. And say it with conviction. Stand your ground and make sure he knows ur not playing. Men who hit women are pathetic. They are not men so they beat up on women and make them feel that they are somehow less. AND YOURE NOT!!!!! I hope things work out!!!

From what I have read here, it's better for most on here to stay single than to get married. You can even have children without getting married and going through all the trouble of the divorce.

osisi
Just chill, take it easy, allow this woman to make peace with her husband. The man should go for counselling afterwards to make sure he doesn't do a thing like dt again.

Nwayo nwayo  ka eji aracha ofe di oku

dellynash:

My Husband Has Not Been Talking To Me For Three Days Now Please Help Me

Hello Nairalanders, im in serious stress and i need your advice, my husband slapped me twice when i was lying on bed because i asked him why he is sleeping without taking his bath, i got so angry and insulted him,  he  has not been talking to me for three days now.I over reacted and said some unpleasant things to him cos i never expected him to ever slap me as he use to say when  we were dating that he can never lay his finger on a woman, what annoys me most is that  im pregnant and i don't expect him to slap me in this condition. Now he will not give me food money, he will not talk to me he sleeps and turns his back on me, i feel like telling him im sorry but something tells me not to, he has a very stiff heart, i think of terminating the pregnancy and quiting the marriage, he has a tough heart and im afraid i may not be able to live the rest of my life with him, he is not willing to apologise for slapping me please Nairalanders help me handle this matter.

If apologising will make you KEEP YOUR HOME, then by all means go and APOLOGISE.
You cannot substitute anything for a HAPPY HOME.

In every relationship, communication is the key.

JustGood:

I still find it hard to believe the story. If the guy was so good that wanted to marry him, he could not have been a brute. If he is a brute and you married him, then you deserve what you got.

If however he is not a brute, there's something you're not telling anyone here.

A man does not just slap his wife because she said he should get in the shower/bath.

My wife tells me that on any saturday that I dont go out cos I wont have a shower till very late. I have never considered getting angry over it. . . I get in the shower when I'm ready and I leave her to keep reminding me.

This woman should tell a complete picture rather than demonising her husband because she wants some online sympathy.

What could she have possibly done to warrant a slap? Did she bite him? Did she sleep with his brother or what?

Osisi! I am not sure you are married, and if you are, am very sure you would probably have been battered severally by your husband and perhaps sent parking. This may be the reason why you want innocent more passengers on your train.

I would advice the Poster not to get confused. Just do the right thing. You know it.

Dear Poster,

The general opinion of the ladies in the house is "Do not apologise", majority wins. You can therefore go ahead with the general opinion/verdict. Post back in a few week time and let us know how its going not how it went.

Outstrip, they way you went about spitting you venomous tongue, its a clear indication that you and the poster share similar traits as "power in the tongue" only that it could be destructive. A tongue without a brake will definitely attract trouble, I hope you have a man that endures all this.

davidylan:

Dellynash, appologising is the slippery slope to even worse treatment. If you were my sister you would be out of his house as fast as you can.

Appologise now and you have:

a. told him it is ok for him to slap you next time

b. permanently ceded emotional authority over you to him.

Pele o . . . you got a bad husband.

Thank you for your input because I think hearing it from a man might make her think differently

niyilawani:

Osisi! I am not sure you are married, and if you are, am very sure you would probably have been battered severally by your husband and perhaps sent parking. This may be the reason why you want innocent more passengers on your train.

I would advice the Poster not to get confused. Just do the right thing. You know it.

I thot I was the only one that noticed!

stillwater:

What could she have possibly done to warrant a slap? Did she bite him? Did she sleep with his brother or what?

All these questions are immaterial.
You have to look at the BIGGER PICTURE. . . . .If she remains stubborn, she could lose her husband for life. . . .
All for what?? For a coupla slaps??

Would she terminate her pregnancy if she was slapped by an armed robber or a tout on the street??

some of the posts here are shocking . . .

Would it kill the husband if he apologises? Or is it only the woman that needs to put in efforts to make her marriage work?

stillwater:

Would it kill the husband if he apologises? Or is it only the woman that needs to put in efforts to make her marriage work?

In AFRICA, that is how it works. . . . .
It's a tad folly when people say in America reh reh reh or blah blah blah woulda happened.
This is AFRICA. Live with it.

Elderberry I have a sharp tongue. Thank you for pointing that out like I did not know. I pray that none of my loved one's fall into the hands of people like you. It even shows the level of gnorance here for someone to say that a woman will be send packing. Who will send her packing. Does the house belong to him that he will send her packing. Y'all kill me with this "I am so ignorant that I cannot see it attitude". Send her packing. Haahaahahahahaha.

~Sauron~:

In AFRICA, that is how it works. . . . .
It's a tad folly when people say in America reh reh reh or blah blah blah woulda happened.
This is AFRICA. Live with it.

Thank you

Many of these people just want us to jump in every boat that has America written on it

I totally agree with davidylan!! You have a right to be happy!! Dint feel obligated to this man if he does not respect you!! Def feel obligated to your child though. No matter what that baby is a gift from God. And God will use whomever to accomplish his purpose! Dint feel that because of the baby u should stay either. Many women raise their children without a trifling man around. You can do it!! I would recommend getting a job though. He feels that he can control you with money. That should NEVER be the case

Poster, Pls do not apologise. You need to find a way show him that violence is not part of your wedding vows. Otherwise, you@ll be getting a beatdown from time to time during the rest of your lifetime,
Besides, most men do not find wimpish wives attractive.

It is a real shame that our society is still operating at this level.
Even from the posts made by both male and female posters, it is evident that we value the institution of marriage, almost to the point of dying to preserve it.

However, because we do not have the privilege of hearing the man's part of the story, we have to believe the lady, especially since she admitted her natural reaction, which was to rain the dude with abuses.

It is common place that pregnant women get very irritable with every little thing, and every good man should know this beforehand, and be more tolerant during those 9 months.