Shinatu:

I know some ladies like this too, who carried the 'load of two people' (perfect wives you would say) many of them did not live to reap the fruit of their labour, their health deteriorated as a result of 'overload'!

And after the wife dies, the man would marry a new wife and can decide to start spending heaven and earth for her!!

Example Olusegun Obasanjo

axeman85:

@poster

you said he works in a bank. working in a bank doesnt make him a millionair aor doesnt mean he earns mega bucks monthly

your story is partially stated. for us to know the real situation of things. how much does he earn monthly as salary so we can decide and pass opinions accordingly.

No it means he can afford to spend more than that!

Ujujoan:

No it means he can afford to spend more than that!

U mean all bankers earns so much money and be able to give more than 15K for monthly allowances? common, get real.

Fhemmmy:

U mean all bankers earns so much money and be able to give more than 15K for monthly allowances? common, get real.

No sir
What we are saying, is that the woman in question knows that her husband can afford more than 15k

aysometin:

For the part in bold above
Please read in between the lines!!
what she means by he works in a bank is that 'he can afford to give me more money'.
If you have all read this story well, u will realise that she is complaining because she knows the guy is selfish!!

For the part in green, she said he pretends that the money is enough!! What kind of meaningful discussion can you have with such a hard hearted man??

It is so easy to tell the kind of person the man is!!

All the men supporting the guy are birds of the same feather and I really pity your wives!! If you like crucify me, I don't care.

If you don't know by this stage that the way forward in a home is dialogue.
You and your wife should bring all your earnings together and decide how it should be spent.
No wise woman  wants the downfall of her husband

saving money, she is not grateful bla bla bla
You think it is easy for a woman to spend her money on the home and see that her husband spends his own money on new baffs, having fun, carrying chics etc
Even a total virtuous woman can not stand it, especially when you know he earns enough to take care of you

Shameless men!! If you are not ready to be reponsible, please stay unmarried
Incase you are all wondering, I am happily married

@Aysometin

By NL standard,you cant be happily married with this kind of reasoning, you must either me a single mother or a frustrated old cargo

Fhemmmy:

U mean all bankers earns so much money and be able to give more than 15K for monthly allowances? common, get real.

Nope, but for her to insist on this, dont you think she know how much her hubby earns!

aysometin:


No sir
What we are saying, is that the woman in question knows that her husband can afford more than 15k

There you go . . .

But let's not lose sight of the point here. Whether he can affod it or not is not the issue. The issue is if the money is enough. I mean he's a banker, drawing up a budget cant be hard for him. But first of all he has to go for a market survey. If after doing that he still insists 15k is enough, then . . well I dont know what else to say!

Ujujoan:

Nope, but for her to insist on this, dont you think she know how much her hubby earns!

Most ladies in Nigeria have no clue how much the husband is making. . . some dont even know where the husband works, and if she does, she might not know the address.
Some Nija babes have never gone to surprise their hubby at the office for lunch, never, and i guess that is why some men get away with murder.

^^^^ well, dont generalize with your situation.

Shinatu:


@Aysometin

By NL standard,you cant be happily married with this kind of reasoning, you must either me a single mother or a frustrated old cargo

LOL

Just goes to show you how short-sighted most NLers can be!

Ujujoan:

^^^^ well, dont generalize with your situation.

Hahahahahaha. . . it is reality and it is so sad and pathetic.

The poster never said or implied at any point that her husband uses the spare cash for 'baffs' and ish, i think u are just too confused. Its not always about money guys. Hate when beaches* come on here and blab to us guys about their oh so bad experience with guys, it pisses me off . Dont dump it on us .the other one said her dad never used to leave enough money so i gues all guys in nigeria are like her dad, WRONG! I dont blame you all though , i blame the poster .its simple if he leave 15k and as u say u spend twice meaning 30k. 15 from him 15 from u, its fair enough its your home. Take care of it however you can and quit whining.period!

Ujujoan:

LOL

Just goes to show you how short-sighted most NLers can be!

pot calling the kettle black

Shinatu:





@Aysometin

By NL standard,you cant be happily married with this kind of reasoning, you must either me a single mother or a frustrated old cargo

my bad!!

chic u r kidding rite??
to think I had sent you a heavy missile

modified

Ujujoan:

LOL

Just goes to show you how short-sighted most NLers can be!

modified
WTF I am getting too serious this days, took me a while to grab the joke
Thanks to all this brits around me, lol

Fhemmmy:

Most ladies in Nigeria have no clue how much the husband is making. . . some dont even know where the husband works, and if she does, she might not know the address.
Some Nija babes have never gone to surprise their hubby at the office for lunch, never, and i guess that is why some men get away with murder.

That's why they say communication is the key in any marriage
I don't have to visit my hubby's office before I know what he does and how much he earns
Any marriage that is lacking communication is on it's way to failure

Shinatu:





@Aysometin

By NL standard,you cant be happily married with this kind of reasoning, you must either me a single mother or a frustrated old cargo

I have stopped taking people here too seriously.
Most people have not experienced what real life is
One thing is sure, the truth is always bitter

.

as a wife in the home u have to take care of certain responsibilities but u ve to let ur husband be aware that u also add money from ur own pocket to keep the family going. this is because the only thing u need from him is his acknowledgment and appreciation. it is a normal thing in homes to have wives contributing to the upkeep of the family. believe me even if he gives u a 100.000 naira every month it ll not be enough becos the higher u go the more expenses u ll incur.

aysometin:

That's why they say communication is the key in any marriage
I don't have to visit my hubby's office before I know what he does and how much he earns
Any marriage that is lacking communication is on it's way to failure

I totally agree with you, comms is the keys.

@ all
please refer to this thread
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=343215.msg4814436#msg4814436

@poster
We do know (although not sure) he can afford more than the 15k from what you have said.
Most bankers live large on loans and get entangled therein. They try to make 'smart moves'
like the guy in the thread above. Pls, be content and encourage you hubby to do so too.
Like I earlier said though, don't start comparing yourself with some other families who earn
6 and 7 digits, you no go fit survive.
Keep supporting as long as you are capable of doing so. List the items and sometimes let him
'help' get some of them at the supermarket. Then he might see your point. It all has to with
dialogue.

I like reading post on this forum and I discard some, agree with some and learn from some.
On this post, I believe that there are so many things that must be considered.
If the household allowance is for some provision and disposable napkin for the small boy and the wife is adding some, then it is fair on the guy. Let the wife continue to supplement.
But if it includes food stuffs and the rest, then the man should do something about it.
One way to make him realize that it is not enough is to let him accompany you to the market once and he will know how much more you spend.
But a family biz is a family biz. whatever happens don't forget that it is all for the family.

modupea:

I like reading post on this forum and I discard some, agree with some and learn from some.
On this post, I believe that there are so many things that must be considered.
If the household allowance is for some provision and disposable napkin for the small boy and the wife is adding some, then it is fair on the guy. Let the wife continue to supplement.
But if it includes food stuffs and the rest, then the man should do something about it.
One way to make him realize that it is not enough is to let him accompany you to the market once and he will know how much more you spend.
But a family biz is a family biz. whatever happens don't forget that it is all for the family.

talked like someone with wisdom, better than those that think the woman shd strangle the guy to death for more money. . thanx

^^^^ Now who said that

oka madam,
your oka master no say you dey get some kobos too, so it is okay. And I think you yourself know say 15k plenty. Abi how much do you think is enough. keep your man and stop complaining. you can ask him for special treat and if he has he will oblige you in appreciation of your helping out wit the house keeping financially. me myself, I be man and I tell you your man appreciate wetin you dey do well well even if he no dey say am. na so we be. but once you start nagging ego begin come late. well na so I see am but oh take style tell if you want increment for for example after you don given better food.
na so I see am.

[color=#000099][/color]Housing keeping allowance of 15k can be enough but matters concerning money to run home must be properly discussed by the parties.Openness is very important, therefore both wife and husband should endeavour to let their spouse know how much they earn.That will sort all the mistrust out.Look out for" money-matters in marriage" in these links. Let me assist you with these links:http://www.savingmymarriageblog.com http://www.savethemarriagelogcom..com

Yinka4love, please allow me to ship in my 2cents. I must first warn you not to let selfish people among the NL ruin your beautiful marriage. From my understanding, you and your husband are living happily except the issue of monthly allowance. Am not saying that N15k a month is too much and am not also saying it's too small. The bitter truth is that most families in Nigeria doesn't even make up to N15k a month.Think about it.

On your own case,there're a bunch of unanswered questions,of which if you answer sincerely,most intelligent NL 'll be able to advice. Some of the questions are, how much exactly does he make? Is he building a house or planning to? Is he planning to buy a car? Is he saving for your kids' higher education? Is he reinvesting in his business or is he just being prudent because of uncertain future? Is he into any of those long term investment? Answers to the above questions 'll go a long way to shade more light into your problem. So you need to sit down with him in a romantic mood a find out why if you know for sure he can afford more than N15k. Approach matters a lot in problem solving. Again,you didn't say what and what are included in this N15k. Does rent,electricity bill,water bill etc included? Does he buy like rice,beans,tissues,soaps,cooking oil in bulk? What part of the country do you live in and also the family's life style? How much do you make? It needs to be put into consideration too.

As long as you're sure he's not blowing up his money outside,I don't see anything bad for you to supplement as much as you can. However,to be sincere to you,things 're hard these days,I guess you may want to take a look at your expenditure and see if there 're things you can cut down on,like boiling and filtering your own water instead of buying the so-called pure or bottled water you don't know how they're prepared. Buying most things in quantity 'll also cut cost. Being prudent is one of the nice qualities of a good wife. This 21st century is no more time to cut your coat according to your size, it's time to cut your coat according to your cloth.

On the final note,do not compare yourself with your sister,your friends or your neighbors 'cos all fingers are not equal. Also do not forget that most people lives fake life to show off while in reality,they 're drowning in debt, don't be like them. I don't see any issue in your case so please,be wise and save your family 'cos it takes only a gun shot to start a war that can consume thousands of souls.

Until next time,good luck.

@Dubino Good advice there.