Chiaka:

@Pharoh
Since you run your home 100%, how much do you spend in a month. Give the break down Please.

I am not running that kind of a home right now hope you get what i mean. What the lady need is to talk with her husband so they can device a workable solution before it leads to something else.

Ujujoan:

ROTFLMAO    

Very funny! I suppose you are one of those people looking for a miracle working wife. Good luck finding one oh!

FYI - My granny's still alive, wanna marry her?

I thought you to be a  potential miracle working wife?    As for the granny no thanks I am in the 21st century no going back  ,  Just wished i did not finish eating my cake before coming here  

@Poster I know you want appreciation but the good book says do unto others what you want them to do for you as well. Try appreciating his other efforts and he will surely do yours. As for passing the message to him just borrow a leaf from our mothers  . They have a very effective way how they pass such messages to our fathers so do that and believe me things will change in the household for the better.

Why would I do that? Oh because he does housework. Whatever. We both run our home. I still carry most of the house work but technically he pays most of the bills. I have no problem with that but I will never put myself in a situation where I feel like I am a single mother. If I wanted to do it all on my own then I could have stayed single and had children and raise them on my own in my own house. I am not chained to my husband and he is not chained to me. He has learned to be strong were I am weak and I have learned to be strong where he is weak. There is no jumping going on here

oyb:

^^^^^

as long as when he says jump , you say how high your majesty,  no problem

Outstrip:

All of you saying the woman should go half on the household forget that she is married to the typical Nigerian man. If she says here that the man does housework and changes diapers and every once in a while goes to the market then I can say that it is fair. If the man wants to do Oga then he must do what comes with doing Oga. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. You can't eat your cake and have it. I personally will not put one penny towards anything if the man does not help me maintain the home. He will pay for the everything including a maid if I decide I need one. It does not matter how much she makes. Now this is just my two cent. My home is different. I don't care what he pays for in the home he has to help out too. Luckily for the most part I do not have to do any of that. It is not unusual for my husband to come home from work and actually cook dinner.

see shakara of the century. Your grandma with her 20 kids didn't need any housemaid

bawomolo:

see shakara of the century. Your grandma with her 20 kids didn't need any housemaid

That was her choice and this is my choice. My grandmother's choice to let her husband marry a second wife and treat her like a second class citizen sent her to an early grave.

HEY Guys, the money he gives me is damn too small and i know he knows but hes claiming not to. This 15k i collect monthly is meant for anythin food for 3 of us,toiletries pampers,washing n bathing soap,dettol,toothpaste e t c. And he complains about the size of meat i give him(i even give him 2 pcs) which he wants to b xtra big. These r the things painin me because i spend up to another xtra 15k n i work n a one man biz company ,d pay is not much. He works n a bank.

Can u all see, the guy works in a bank!!!May God have mercy on some men!(9ja especially)
If you are not yet ready to be responsible, don't get married but they won't listen
mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Uju abuse him again jare!!
Imagine asking for a bigger piece of meat!!! OLE

OYB oya o!! what do u have to say??

i no fit talk

oyb:



i no fit talk

hahahahaha it is serious abi??

the money is absolutely too small. my mom told me a bag of rice is almost going for 9000. if they eat rice for dinner everyday, they might eat half a bag (including entertaining). that money is for rice and transport to go buy rice and veggie oil.

too small, lady. talk to him.

*Hauwa*:

the money is absolutely too small. my mom told me a bag of rice is almost going for 9000. if they eat rice for dinner everyday, they might eat half a bag (including entertaining). that money is for rice and transport to go buy rice and veggie oil.

too small, lady. talk to him.

Will they be buying bag of rice every month.
And why would they be eating rice everyday?
If that is all the man can afford, the woman will have to find a way to make it to be enuf.

The month they buy the bag of rice, that means they won't buy half of what they used to buy each month. What if bag of rice and garri finish in the same month?

stillwater:

The month they buy the bag of rice, that means they won't buy half of what they used to buy each month. What if bag of rice and garri finish in the same month?

monthly allowances doesn't mean that he wont leave money to rice and all the other one now, i am sure the allowance will be for small stuff.
Besides, if they buy ride this month, they buy gari next month and buy beans the following month, so the stuff wont finish at same time.

all this under providers sef

yinka4love:

HEY Guys, the money he gives me is damn too small and i know he knows but hes claiming not to. This 15k i collect monthly is meant for anythin food for 3 of us,toiletries pampers,washing n bathing soap,dettol,toothpaste e t c. And he complains about the size of meat i give him(i even give him 2 pcs) which he wants to b xtra big. These r the things painin me because i spend up to another xtra 15k n i work n a one man biz company ,d pay is not much. He works n a bank.

well well well

sounds like you married baba ijebu . What's with naija men and getting the largest share of meat?

yinka4love:

HEY Guys, the money he gives me is damn too small and i know he knows but hes claiming not to. This 15k i collect monthly is meant for anythin food for 3 of us,toiletries pampers,washing n bathing soap,dettol,toothpaste e t c. And he complains about the size of meat i give him(i even give him 2 pcs) which he wants to b xtra big. These r the things painin me because i spend up to another xtra 15k n i work n a one man biz company ,d pay is not much. He works n a bank.

Is it everyone that works in the bank that is rich?

@uju

u keep saying 15000, is not adequate/ not enough. so please tell us how much is enough for the woman. since it sounds like uve so much experience in house allowance, every household as different levels if u dont know,

Food for thought, and this goes to uju and her 'cohorts'-have you given thought to the possibility that the husband is trying to see how wel she can best manage to keep the home on 15k just to test her managerial skills as the wife/mother of the house? A virtuos woman would survive.so please stop complaining and be grateful for what u do get

well they have a son and its just them in the house.
so thats 3 people.

im not too sure on naija, but when i was there everything was pricey.
so only 15,000 on monthly allowance seems a little tight.

dont you have to put food on the table and take care of all the other things that you do on a monthy basis.
the poster even says she ends up always going over the limit and spending more!!
its obvious that the money he is giving her is not enough to substain one month.

Strong arm
utter genius, you are testing your wife AFTER marriage, I for one was of the opinion that all that is done during the "i love u " I love u more"  period.
So let say she fails your "managerial skill"what will u do? Kick out of the house?!

On a lighter note i loveeee that song "be thankful for what you have got"
[flash=425,325]http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/KDTXljIqxRE[/flash]

^^^




true

Go for shopping with your husband on one weekend and that will convince him.

The pivotal issue is how much income the man earns. If 15k is 50% of his total income, then its not bad for how much he earns.
Best of all is the fact that his wife makes up for the shortfall- Its a partnership. Nonetheless the man should take charge.

strong_arm:

Food for thought, and this goes to uju and her 'cohorts'-have you given thought to the possibility that the husband is trying to see how wel she can best manage to keep the home on 15k just to test her managerial skills as the wife/mother of the house? A virtuos woman would survive.so please stop complaining and be grateful for what u do get

Testing your wife after marriage at the expense of your baby

We already know the kind of husband you would be!!

This woman is only complaining because she knows the man can afford more than 15K.
She doesn't earn much and her husband pretends that all is well! At the same time asking for the biggestt piece of meat available
That is very wicked and selfish in my opinion.
I know men like this, thats why I am in support of her. The first example is my father.
They will rather spend their money on riotous living!

Fhemmy, Please read the thread well!! he does not buy bag of rice, beans, garri etc
Housekeeping allowance for the month is 15K, nothing more nothing less

oyb:



i no fit talk

You know from her initial post, I could deduce everyting she just said. You were just being unecessarily stubborn and making the issue too general when you should have been more concerned about this particular situation. 

samnaija:

@uju

u keep saying 15000, is not adequate/ not enough. so please tell us how much is enough for the woman. since it sounds like uve so much experience in house allowance, every household as different levels if u dont know,

Yes, I've had experience about housekeeping and without a child, I can tell 15k is a paltry sum! If you are living below average or threading on poverty line, 15k is okay. But for an average family? Nah! I wont go into quoting figures, but one day just write up a list and go into the market yourself, then you'll understand what I'm saying!

strong_arm:

Food for thought, and this goes to uju and her 'cohorts'-have you given thought to the possibility that the husband is trying to see how wel she can best manage to keep the home on 15k just to test her managerial skills as the wife/mother of the house? A virtuos woman would survive.so please stop complaining and be grateful for what u do get

Food for thought for you and your cohorts - have you ever thought that the wife must have been adding her own money all these while without complaining, just to see if she married a decent man or an irresponsible who dosent want to accept his fault? How long is the test going to last? forever? That's just dumb!

I'm sure the poster would have thought the same thing you are thinking initially, which is why she went ahead to make the money up without complainig. But when the man starts expecting miracles on the dinner table, it's wise of her to point out to him that not only are the resources he's providing scarce, she has to make it up just to provide something presentable. Does she get a thank you or a word of appreciation for that? No! Instead he's insisting the money is enof!   

aysometin:

Uju abuse him again jare!!

I'm tempted to oh, but I never survive the attack from the last one! 

Ok lets do this, listen uju i see you cant get your point accros without attaching insults and disparaging phrases. I gues it gives u an illusion of being or sounding intelligent. You arent even married yet and from the sound of you it seems you arent that smart either. If you are then you wil see beyond the um, moneyisnotenough part and focus on the fact that these are hard times and marriages that survive in times do so by living withn means and planning ahead i bet she gets more than 15k in a month even tho she wil care to admit. And @ poster dont go by advices posted by jobles bored and marriage hopefuls on nairaland. Do wateva it takes to keep ur home beautiful. U have jst 1 kid and u are already complaining. Keep at it and u wil lose a goodman. Uju yea u can go fukc urself now.

^^^^ and I thought I was having a conversation with an adult!

@poster

you said he works in a bank. working in a bank doesnt make him a millionair aor doesnt mean he earns mega bucks monthly

your story is partially stated. for us to know the real situation of things. how much does he earn monthly as salary so we can decide and pass opinions accordingly.

[HEY Guys, the money he gives me is damn too small and i know he knows but hes claiming not to. This 15k i collect monthly is meant for anythin food for 3 of us,toiletries pampers,washing n bathing soap,dettol,toothpaste e t c. And he complains about the size of meat i give him(i even give him 2 pcs) which he wants to b xtra big. These r the things painin me because i spend up to another xtra 15k n i work n a one man biz company ,d pay is not much. He works n a bank.]

I am very disappointed by the posters above comment.I thought by now you would have realized your mistake of encouraging the insult of your husband but i was wrong.You were bent on proving that he was at fault without looking at yourself first.Why didn't you tell us how much is your house rent and how much you contributed.
He is working in a bank,so what? How much loan has he collected,to buy a car which you enjoy,pay three years house rent and furnish it? how much is his take home after paying back the loan.
Is people like you that drive there husband into debt listening to people above their class? How much was your allowance before you married him?
A lot of women will thread your place to have a home and a hardworking young man. You shamelessly say he complains about meat,if you add #15000 as you say,with #30000 a month,i don't think he will complain.
I have seen women who protect their hussy,just the way men brag about their wife.I think you have some fundamental issues with your marriage.
What about a divorce and child custody battle plus child support? Please work to keep your marriage and stop complaining.Learn to be contented and proud of what you have.
Don't compare yourself with the wives of people you know who are better placed economically.I know that he is not the bank manger or stealing money.I hope he doesn't get to read this or get the idea that you are complaining because you will have to deal with the man's ego.
There are ways to discuss with ones husband and solve problems.You sound arrogant and it won't help your case with him.
I wish you all the best

"this guy has said it all, pray for your hussy. I know of a friend who has been taking care of the family (2 kids and husband) for d past 4 yrs. her husband have tried his hand on so many businesses but always failed, though d guy didnt stop, he had made up his mind that he will never do a 31days work but he still yet to break even. is d wife that pay d house rent, bills, sch fees clothing and d rest. shes a product of brokenn home as such she didnt want her children to pass through what she pass thorugh hence she has decided to stay with her husband no matter what. So please appreciate your husband thank God you're also working"



I know some ladies like this too, who carried the 'load of two people' (perfect wives you would say) many of them did not live to reap the fruit of their labour, their health deteriorated as a result of 'overload'!

aysometin:

Testing your wife after marriage at the expense of your baby

We already know the kind of husband you would be!!

[b]This woman is only complaining because she knows the man can afford more than 15K.[/b]She doesn't earn much and her husband pretends that all is well! At the same time asking for the biggestt piece of meat available
That is very wicked and selfish in my opinion.
I know men like this, thats why I am in support of her. The first example is my father.
They will rather spend their money on riotous living!

Fhemmy, Please read the thread well!! he does not buy bag of rice, beans, garri etc
Housekeeping allowance for the month is 15K, nothing more nothing less

The highligted part is the gospel truth

chaircover:

What has working in a bank got to do with it? Please don’t push your husband to steal because im sure you won’t stick by him if he is caught.

Instead of reporting him to Nairaland, you should both sit down to talk and see if he can afford to put down any e[color=#990000][/color]xtra.

As as for the 2 piece meat issue, Im sure a lot of women feel great fulfilment knowing their husbands have just enjoyed a good and filling meal. I also heard somewhere that a prayer a man says for his wife after enjoying a good meal goes along way.

Marriage these days seems like conducting a business transaction; God help us all.

For the part in bold above
Please read in between the lines!!
what she means by he works in a bank is that 'he can afford to give me more money'.
If you have all read this story well, u will realise that she is complaining because she knows the guy is selfish!!

For the part in green, she said he pretends that the money is enough!! What kind of meaningful discussion can you have with such a hard hearted man??

It is so easy to tell the kind of person the man is!!

All the men supporting the guy are birds of the same feather and I really pity your wives!! If you like crucify me, I don't care.

If you don't know by this stage that the way forward in a home is dialogue.
You and your wife should bring all your earnings together and decide how it should be spent.
No wise woman  wants the downfall of her husband

saving money, she is not grateful bla bla bla
You think it is easy for a woman to spend her money on the home and see that her husband spends his own money on new baffs, having fun, carrying chics etc
Even a total virtuous woman can not stand it, especially when you know he earns enough to take care of you

Shameless men!! If you are not ready to be reponsible, please stay unmarried
Incase you are all wondering, I am happily married