Hi Nairalanders,
 I need your help but before I explain what just happened to me I need to first apologise to Seun, his admins and moderators and everyone else.

I had to create an account here cos there may be someone here that know me through my real username. Please accept my sincerely apology.

Here is the situation :

About 1 week ago I had a dream where I saw it that my girl friend ( of 4 years - we starting seeing November 20 2005 ) was seeing another person and another the line got pregnant and did an abortion and I got to know then broke up with her. Later one of her family called me ( still in the dream ) to tell me she was dead.

She, myself and everyone around me know that I have power of dreams and it is always very dangerous when I dream and something unusual happens but as God will have it, I did something unusual, something I have not done for years, something that according to me my ( no one knows about this one ) I did not do when I was small - I wet the bed.

I call her the next morning and to my surprise she was sick, I asked her what was wrong, she said she was sick but I know it was not sickness alone.

I kept calling her asking her what was wrong. She later told me she told one herb ( agbo ) and it was disturbing her. I had to call her friend to please help me get her to a hospital when it was obvious that the pain was too much for her which they did.

The second day, she called me to say she was coming home ( she is schooling in Onisha and I am in Cotonou ) because she is still feeling sick and the doctors could not treat her well enough.

Later the third day, she was talking fine and feeling better. She even asked me to talk to her on the messenger which I did but we could not chat for long because her connection was bad.

Then today, ( about 5 days later ) she called me to help her do some assignment online ( she has given me the job for sometime but I have not been able to do it cos 1. I have been in Lagos all week and had no access to the internet 2. I have been having body pains due to much travellin.

It was then she told me what was wrong with her after much begging and persuasion.

And what was wrong is ,

She was raped.

Ok being raped is not a big deal but :

1. I have warned her to stop working out alone in the night

2. Why didn't she tell me when it was obvious my dream was close to t

3. When we were talking, I asked her to come down to Lagos ( she has nothing much doing in school according to her ) so we talk about it but she turned me down without any excuse.

4. When she rejected coming down to Lagos, I told her to let us talk on the messenger but she said her time was up and she logged off without saying bye.

5. I called her to ask why she logged out and she was talking to me like someone who is not remorseful.

I have promised myself and my God when I had the dream that I will do the right thing, never let the situation to derail what I am doing but do you think this girl is worth continuing with?

I have been dating her for 4 years now and she has been my parents number 1 enemy for the last 3 years due to a problem she had with my younger sister and my dad.

What do you guys think? Should I jilt her?

Another thing, I have not cheated her for once. Her very own friend has offered herself ( which is aware of ) and I did it. A friend of mine ( a girl ) has offered herself and even went ask far as blackmailing her but I never did and now this is happening to us but she does not feel sorry or does not want to talk about it.

Help,

Go and look for the bastard that raped her
And shoot him by dawn.

There is nothing you can do bro. Just keep on with the relationship and never say anything relating to her ordeal to a third party.

This is not the time to leave her. U need to stand by her to get thru this phrase afterwards, if u dont love her anymore or wateva, u can break up wit her appropriately.
I feel she's just feeling sad with wat has happened to her and thats y she's not too comfortable speaking or chatting with u.

A second thot, are u really sure she was raped or who knows, there could be more to the story than u know about.
Just wise up and do the right thing and also try talking to her.
All the best

girllygal:

This is not the time to leave her. U need to stand by her to get thru this phrase afterwards, if u dont love her anymore or wateva, u can break up wit her appropriately.
I feel she's just feeling sad with wat has happened to her and thats y she's not too comfortable speaking or chatting with u.

A second thot, are u really sure she was raped or who knows, there could be more to the story than u know about.
Just wise up and do the right thing and also try talking to her.
All the best

exactly my point.

U just need to overlook b'cos is not ar wish.

Hnnnm more to this story i bet.

The second day, she called me to say she was coming home ( she is schooling in Onisha and I am in Cotonou )

because she is still feeling sick and the doctors could not treat her well enough.

Are you sure she was raped? hmmmm,  cos this are common excuses of ladies nowadays

Me thinks maybe she committed abortion   Just my own thought

It's a lie,guess she committed abortion

I support NLanders who are of the school of thought that she probably had an abortion,
and is comin up wt excuses.

Go back to sleep and then dream again.

@otokx pity d guy abeg,
Why are u encouraging him to go bak to bed and hav anoda dream since he's yet to be free wt d first dream or do u wnt hm to run mad ths time; Pls dnt sleep again o!

. . .stwange. . .

I read just one line: being raped is not a big deal.

How would you feel if some macho men tore your ass?

@ poster

You said she spoe without remorse? what she is to feel sorry for you that she had been raped?

did it ever occur to you that being raped is not something that is eaasy to deal with? if i were you i would give her some space because im sure she is probably scared sh*tless and she probably cant even focus on her studies needless to say a relationship. you should be supportive and kind to her if she is not in the mood to talk give her space better yet offer t o take her to the hospital if she hasn't been and get her tested. Geez even if you wanted to break up with her now is not the time

Nobody raped her.There are 3things that might have happend 1)d fight with ur family is troubling her 2)had sex&aborted 3)tired of u.But as a spiritual person,pray dat God shd reveal to u if shes really urs.I did dat with my present girl friend.Pls to jilt her,but do d prayer stuff&then share d testimony

maybe she got raped, maybe not,u cant b too sure, she might not even have had an abortion but one thing i know is that you shud be concerned bout the fact that she en ur family are not on good term, u've not even caught her red handed so forget bout being suspicious, just b on d watch out for anymore strange behaviours coming from her en maybe that might give u a clue as to whats going on in her head.

Ok being raped is not a big deal but

Let's start with this comment. I am shocked that the ladies have yet to jump on your throat and choke the dream out of your nose. Every man wishes and looks forward with glee to that day that he would be raped by a woman. . . matter of fact, make that four women. . .ok! . . but no woman ever desires to be raped by a boy. . . much more a man!

Beside apologising, which you are yet to do, for wetting your bed. . . I think you ought to correct that "rape deal" with a sense of remorse.

what exactly are you mad about?
the fact that she didnt tell you she was raped?
what could you have done about it?
Rape is as personal as personal gets
she has the sole right to tell anyone when she wishes to
all you can do is be there as a friend for her and drop the whole macho bullshit of wanting to kill the fool
you cant. get over it.

@ Poster.

U think say u still get girl friend abi?. . . .shior.!

All she told you na "scope"! am seeing the handwriting on the wall clearly. Shhe is seeing some1 else and u berra wake up from ur slumber.
Rape ko ripe ni

Sounds very complicated, I don't think I have enough info. to make a reasonable comment, sorry.

I can only advice that you continue to pray since you seem like a very spiritual person who has a relationship with God, and you speak to him, hopefully you'll gain wisdom to make the right decisions.

I have been dating her for 4 years now and she has been my parents number 1 enemy for the last 3 years due to a problem she had with my younger sister and my dad.

guy wake up u just got punked,
she did not get raped she may have committed abortion ,
there is more to this than what she is saying
i ll advice you to go and see her and find out what really happened,
her talking to u online is not enough,
i really think you have been really careless with her enough to be seen as a fool
if u are still in cotonu today, u must be de biggest fool in the world
someone's being planting weeds in your garden and u are still talking

I read just one line: being raped is not a big deal.

How would you feel if some macho men tore your ass?

I believe some of the guys and gals here have got me wrong. I am not happy that she got raped ( at least that is what she said ) and when I mean it was no big deal, I mean it is not something that will make me quit the relationship. Being raped is a bad thing but it is not something that one should jilt a girl for.

How will I be happy when I was the one who disvirgined her and sincerely, no girl ( apart from her ) can say she has "done it" with me.

Update : I did talk to her, we spoke on phone for about 2 hours yestersday and we will both be going to Lagos ( Tuesday and Wednesday ) to trash it out. I don't think the relationship is important now. What is important is her health. I may not date her again ( seriously, I need to think about everything again ) but I don't want her death.

I saw her dead in my dream and she comfirmed to me that she almost died due to the drugs took and even thought of killing herself. She is not the end of the world for me, in fact one mistake ( we have had too many already ) and I am off but death is not what I want for her.

The only problem I have with her is that 1. She did not tell me even when it was obvious that I already know something was wrong 2. When she did finally explain, she explained as if nothing was wrong.

Anyway, I need to concentrate on what we will make me happy, I am not having the best of week ( to worsen the situation Arsenal got disgraced by Drogba yet again ).

ALMOST 90% OF GIRLS HAVE BEEN RAPED BY SOMEBODY, FROM RELATIVES, TO FRIENDS, TO UNKNOWN RAPISTS. SO NO BIG DEAL ABOUT RAPE.

HOWEVER, B/C OF THE HESITANCE TO TELL U, THE GIRL MIGHT HAVE COMMITED A BABY. TO CONFIRM THIS:
- WERE U LONG ABSENT FROM HER B/4 THIS TIME?
- WHEN LAST DID U MAKE LOVE TO HER (WITHOUT A CONDOM)?
- WAS THERE ANY TIME SHE WAS BEGGING U TO COME Bleep HER?
- DO U SUSPECT SHE DOUBLE-DATES

THESE R CLUES TO CONFIRM; I INVESTIGE CASES.

Bah

hey guys,

The OP is not trivializing the fact that his GF got raped or the act of RAPE. He is saying that her being raped is not a big deal vis-a-vis his contemplation about whether to continue the relationship or not.

To him he does not think he should drop his GF because she was raped. I think that is fair enough on his part

beats me

My guy if  you really want to make the right choice on this, you have to get lower to ascertain the real truth of the matter.
When a woman you have being with for 5years told you she was raped, what does it cost you to get down to her location to know exactly the situation of things, whether she was truely raped, how, when, where and who, or jst a story.
I bet you no advice here on NL Worth's it until you find out exactly what happened. Rape case is not something that could be hidden in a Uni. There is one thing you should understand about girls of today. A girl who comfortably walked into a man's room can also claim to be raped , becoz the guy forced her into having sex with him. But the question remains what was she looking for in a single mans bedroom? So you get your *ss off from Lagos there to her school in Onitsha and find out for yourself, when you come back you give us the full report, then we can advice you on what to do.

Ndeewonu:
ALMOST 90% OF GIRLS HAVE BEEN RAPED BY SOMEBODY, FROM RELATIVES, TO FRIENDS, TO UNKNOWN RAPISTS. SO NO BIG DEAL ABOUT RAPE.

I linked directly to the above post, so I'm wondering whether you guys are blind or something.