Rape is a serious issue likewise abortion, It is highly traumatizing and it takes time for the mind and body to stabilize, i suggest you call for a real one on one talk and look deeply into her eyes at all time of your conversation. Believe me the eyes never lies if you look deeply with wisdom (Works 4 me) Listen to what she has to say.
If it is true that she was raped and the circumstances surrounding was a helpless one for her then it is a time to be by her side and comfort her. But if it is abortion, omo I leave that one 4 u, coz u know beta

You made mention that she had a problem with your sister and dad, you'd better sort that out coz its never pleasant especially for a long term relationship like yours.

Goodluck!!!!

Ciao

The world is a battlefield and we all struggle for survival in a hostile planet.

We can make choices, but unforseen circumstances are beyond our control.

If you cannot bear to love or live with anyone in peace, it would be better to move on and avoid making yourself or that person miserable.

What matters most in any relationship is SECURITY of LIFE.
LOVE IS NOT BY FORCE.

You got to find out if she was truely raped. From what you have been saying, you are not really sure she's telling you the truth. I know rape could be very traumatic; emotionally and psychologically. The physical pain is very negligible. But for her to keep complaining of stomach pain, its quite unnatural except it was a gang rape.

You just need to be very sure. or preferably, go to the hospital with her.

My guy bone the girl she is not serious with you there are many girls,
this time look ground well well or as you are a spiritual dreamer go back
to sleep and don't wake up keep dreaming and keep believing in dreams
instead of you facing the reality of life you are there talking abt dreams
Why not open a holy japhet church where you will be dreaming for
people like ur GF
Otondu like you.

hhhhmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!

i have been @ this bus Stop before

1) U seem to genuinely love her and you probably believe in the relationship, So its highly probable(above 80% in my opinion)that God is probably showing you what is happening/happened.

2)Furthermore, I think the lady has been or being tempted by money and or a near/more proximal guy/relationship.I also think she is already feeling nonchalant towards you.Those are unmistakable sign of another relationship.

3)If she was raped, well, it is a traumatic thing, and that can bruise her ego/emotions,hence an array of intensely and intricately missed emotions that can trigger a crazy mix of emotional upsy turvy that a myriad and not wholly predictable,, but something about her reaction doesn't look sincere(my opinion).If she truly loves you as you love her, she'll be more open to you about the whole story.

4)You see, with deep love from a woman comes some amount of  mutual respect and reverence,I don't see that in this scenario and I feel(my gut feeling)that she doesn't have this for you @this time;if she ever had it for you in the first instance.

5)I also think you need to see her face to face, although I can almost guess she'll try to cover-up and act as if no big deal and she might probably heighten some emotions and reduce some(in short watch-out for acting or drama)I think @ the level in which you describ your relationship to be in,

6)Since you can pray,PLEASE PRAY!I HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE AND IT WORKS!Let God lead you,YOU WONT REGRET IT!

7)Finally,my brother,I HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE, TRUST ME, THE WOMAN WHO WILL BE YOUR WIFE, THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN AND WHOM WILL GIVE YOU PEACE WONT STRESS YOU IN SOME CERTAIN WAYS, TRUE SINCERE AND GENUINE LOVE WILL BE THE HALLMARK OF THE RELATIONSHIP, LIVE n LOVE IS A LONG JOURNEY, YOU SHOULDN'T ENDURE IT, YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT,
In the midst of thorns,thistles and stress, your home should be peaceful!If you suffer stress@work,stress on the road(especially with Lagos police-ekelebe, .You shouldn't suffer same @ home ooooo, THE CHOICE IS YOURS SIR!!!!!

CIAO,

@OP

u said it yourself, your dreams come true, in my opinion, your girl is seeing someone else, i dont think shes had the abortion yet, but i believe shes pregnant, and unfortunately, i dont think she sends you again that much, got raped indeed, i dont believe that story

Hmmhm,
guy wise up. she told u she was raped b/c she suspects you will find out that she did an abortion, so the rape is her alibi. take her for test first b/4 she gives u HIV to develop. Run and dont look back. Maybe it was d HIV dat killed her in ur dream. Dont wait to find out. THERE IS FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN, RUNNNNNNN!

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Ndeewonu: ALMOST 90% OF GIRLS HAVE BEEN RAPED BY SOMEBODY, FROM RELATIVES, TO FRIENDS, TO UNKNOWN RAPISTS. SO NO BIG DEAL ABOUT RAPE.

This bolded part of the above statement is wreckless beyond belief. It is in very poor taste and should never have been made.
To make matters worse, it is in capitals. I am shocked.

Some people have argued that it was taken out of context; I say, such outbursts will never ever be in context.

I think he meant that he would still continue to love the girl whether she was a rape victim or not. Statements should always be taken in their context.

i know what you should do. Go to Nairaland.com and ask the strangers over there.

jumobi1:

i know what you should do. Go to Nairaland.com and ask the strangers over there.

Senseless.

Are you sure she was raped? ask her the details before you continue,don't allow her to rob your heart,i will have to write it in capital letter, FIND ANOTHER GIRL

michelin89:

Senseless.

I beg to differ, the user's entitled to his say.

Lemme tell you something even if she your wife(the one you payed a bride price for) not to talk of a girlfriend if she doesn't want to have sex with you that night you have absolutely have NO RIGHT to force her, if you do its called RAPE.


This Yankee people want to cause problem in this country. I think the issue of rape with married couple should be redefine for the purpose of the young NLer that would jion the league very soon. Man must be able to accommodate his wife whenever she needs sex,likewise women must be able to dash it out for her licenced man except on some critical condition such as ailment etc.If you are tired you can play the emotion out of husband instead of saying no is no. That is mentality that is destroying the family in western world.

Now to the business
Rape is a devillish act, that can ruin victims destiny but you need to know the truth by asking how it happen before you take any action.if its true stay with her.

Beaf:

This bolded part of the above statement is wreckless beyond belief. It is in very poor taste and should never have been made.
To make matters worse, it is in capitals. I am shocked.

Some people have argued that it was taken out of context; I say, such outbursts will never ever be in context.

HEY, LET NO ONE MISUNDERSTAND ME. THIS IS WHAT I SAID:

Ndeewonu
ALMOST 90% OF GIRLS HAVE BEEN RAPED BY SOMEBODY, FROM RELATIVES, TO FRIENDS, TO UNKNOWN RAPISTS. SO NO BIG DEAL ABOUT RAPE.

HOWEVER, B/C OF THE HESITANCE TO TELL U, THE GIRL MIGHT HAVE COMMITED A BABY. TO CONFIRM THIS:
- WERE U LONG ABSENT FROM HER B/4 THIS TIME?
- WHEN LAST DID U MAKE LOVE TO HER (WITHOUT A CONDOM)?
- WAS THERE ANY TIME SHE WAS BEGGING U TO COME mess HER?
- DO U SUSPECT SHE DOUBLE-DATES

THESE R CLUES TO CONFIRM; I INVESTIGE CASES.

MEANING THAT RAPE IS NO ENOUGH REASON FOR A GUY THAT LOVES A GIRL TO REALLY JILT HER. IT HAS HAPPENED TO SEVERAL PEOPLE. I NEVER MEANT THAT RAPE IS SOMETHING PLEASANT TO THE VICTIM. NOT AT ALL!


@POSTER, SOME OF MY QUESTS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED IN YOUR 2ND POST/CLARIFICATION.

MEANWHILE, IS IT GOING TOO FAR FOR A GUY TO KNOW HER GIRL'S CYCLE? THIS PROMPTS YOU WHEN THE CYCLE CHANGES WITHOUT WARNING. I DO THAT A LOT. MAYBE, I WENT TOO FAR!!!

Guy! hear the truth!

Anoda sharp guy dey burst ya girl kpekus and u dey Cotonou dey do Joseph! she told u she was raped after much cajoling and u believe her! i knw u will be the one crying as the conversation was going on Romeo!

u know what, u r the nice guy in her life while the oda bad guy in school is the main guy in her life. Do u know what it means when a girl calls u a nice guy? its anoda name for MUGU!!!

u ve been faithful to her for 4years an u neva marry her! Ittibolibo girls don't like dat kind of faithfulness shit! they giv u the best when the competition is hot!

Trust me i know them very well. that's why i have 12 of them as serious girlfriend, anoda 17 as casual friends that comes around once in while for serious kpekus bursting and they all know each other but non of them want to step down for the other and i keep piling them up. its not like am a superstar or sometin its just that i understand their mentality.

u better 4get dat bitch and face ur life.

greateros:

Guy! hear the truth!

Anoda sharp guy dey burst ya girl kpekus and u dey Cotonou dey do Joseph! she told u she was raped after much cajoling and u believe her! i knw u will be the one crying as the conversation was going on Romeo!

u know what, u r the nice guy in her life while the oda bad guy in school is the main guy in her life. Do u know what it means when a girl calls u a nice guy? its anoda name for MUGU!!!

u ve been faithful to her for 4years an u neva marry her! Ittibolibo girls don't like dat kind of faithfulness shit! they giv u the best when the competition is hot!

Trust me i know them very well. that's why i have 12 of them as serious girlfriend, anoda 17 as casual friends that comes around once in while for serious kpekus bursting and they all know each other but non of them want to step down for the other and i keep piling them up. its not like am a superstar or sometin its just that i understand their mentality.

u better 4get dat bitch and face your life.

Sad trth

ALMOST 90% OF GIRLS HAVE BEEN RAPED BY SOMEBODY, FROM RELATIVES, TO FRIENDS, TO UNKNOWN RAPISTS.

Reference please?  Is your CAPS lock broken or something?


@Poster

Her behaviour is dubious.

Since she "has been raped" I sincerely advise you to urge her to go for a HIV test (as well as counselling). That is the natural course of action
for any victim of rape. She should also undergo a pregnancy test. This is standard practice. Should I even be telling anyone this?

1) If it is true (that she was raped) it could save her life and

2) If it is not true, it might give you fresh insight into her story (as for now it is simply just 'her story' till it is confirmed). You should see a red flag if she dodges any request to undergo a HIV test. And why shouldn't she go for a HIV test?

3) Ask her if she can identify the rapist. If she can, the police should come in. Yes, rape is that serious. Or should the "bad wicked man" just go scot-free?

Other than taking that "herb which was disturbing her", what other course of action has she taken after her rape?

i dont think ur gurl is a serious type.pls call it quit with her else b4 u say jack,she'l do so 2 u.der4 leavin heart broken.she's really unserious & doesnt deserve 2 be taken seriously.there're a milion & one shawties are there.o boy no dey dull ur self,abeg.

Thanks to everyone who has replied to this thread. I am yet to see her face to face but I will do that in about 4 hours or so. I have not seen her not because I am not serious or something but my left leg would not allow me to travel long distance ( suffering from injection that I took in 2002 ).

Anyway, We have chatted and I have noted so many things. I have told her over via text message that I don't believe her story and this is what she has to say

I am d 1 in question nt u and see no reason to say smtin am nt happy abt. So lets stop it here. Do luv u.

Obviously her text is enticing but I will never be decieved by it.

Here is another one that was sent when I kept trying to question her to see if she will change what she has said

I will ensure I bring doctors report to u. And u are making me unhappy with dis and you know I am not OKAY

Unfortunately the doctor's report is reportedly not ready ( according to her) and she can not wait cos she is reportly have some stomach problems ( the doctors said it was stomach fungus again, according to her ) but she has agreed to go see my family doctor.

She claim not to have told everyone about this and she said she did not tell me because it is something she prefer to talk about one on one and not via the phone. I am trying to give her every support she needs but sincerely, I still do not fully believe the story.

I will update you guys later today or tomorrow.

Yeah, let her see your family doctor and let her undergo the tests every rape victim should undergo. It's a serious issue.

A question, who is the doctor preparing the report for? For you? I really don't want to laugh!

Alright the doctor treated her for stomach fungus; didn't he treat her also for rape? 'Are you pondering what I'm pondering?'

Rape her again!

IbrahimB:

Yeah, let her see your family doctor and let her undergo the tests every rape victim should undergo. It's a serious issue.

A question, who is the doctor preparing the report for? For you? I really don't want to laugh!

Alright the doctor treated her for stomach fungus; didn't he treat her also for rape? 'Are you pondering what I'm pondering?'

She went to the hospital not because of the issue but because she was sick from agbo she reportedly took.

Whether she was a victim pf rape or even a perpetrator of abortion it really is up to the poster to uncover the truth, before he should even consider taking the relationship forward.

She went to the hospital not because of the issue but because she was sick from agbo she reportedly took.

I wish you goodluck in your search for the truth.

Cheers 

Rape is not a big deal. supposing she was your sister or your mother or your daughter. and to the people saying she had consensual sex and it was aborted, since you dont know the statistics of rape you really should think before you think a woman is lying. but if you are above the age of 20 or even 15 and you are sexually touching a young girl of 9 years or below i hope you meet mercy, but I also hope you meet revenge and violent and crippling exposure. rape is a very big deal. its an invasion of a womans privacy, her body, her mind and its totally disrespectful of humanity. that you feel your desires are stronger and more necessary than another persons modesty, privacy or right to approval that you force yourself on anyone, if there are any rapsists reading this I hope you meet violent exposure and if you are in an enlightened land I hope you meet jail and the men of jail who rape other men. its my strong hope for you if you are a rapists. i hope you meet revenge.

Owu gal:

Rape is not a big deal. supposing she was your sister or your mother or your daughter. and to the people saying she had consensual sex and it was aborted, since you dont know the statistics of rape you really should think before you think a woman is lying. but if you are above the age of 20 or even 15 and you are sexually touching a young girl of 9 years or below i hope you meet mercy, but I also hope you meet revenge and violent and crippling exposure. rape is a very big deal. its an invasion of a womans privacy, her body, her mind and its totally disrespectful of humanity. that you feel your desires are stronger and more necessary than another persons modesty, privacy or right to approval that you force yourself on anyone, if there are any rapsists reading this I hope you meet violent exposure and if you are in an enlightened land I hope you meet jail and the men of jail who rape other men. its my strong hope for you if you are a rapists. i hope you meet revenge.

Guys,
Probably my choice of words were misleading? I've tried to explain what I meant and still mean. Evrybdy knws rape is a crime and a wicked act. I only meant that rape is not a good reason for a man to leave a girl. No, not enough reason. It's not her choice. It can happen to anybody. I think that what people keep misunderstanding. Sincerely, I dont intend to offend.

So, let's continue with the guys topic.

There is actually no need to continue the speculation and comments. It is up to you really to find out exactly what happened. When you have found out then you can keep us posted if you want. For now it is better to close this thread.

Be as wise as d serpent yet gentle as d dove.

@Poster; if she has really bin abused, u need to be patient with her becuz it's a
very traumatic experience and you need to be there for her. Encourage her and
constantly remind her that you love her and what just happened hasnt
cahnged the way u feel towards her. u shud expect some mood swings -
be patient with her please.

~despoiled~mehn!it's bin ages i heard this word, hmmm, i feel for her bt reallly m kinda worrid if yhur too old fashioned and she decided to make out and told yhu she was"despoiled"(i so love the word)