@ poster

Do they really marry late? I don't think so. Except you are coming from the background of a culture were girls are married off @ 12 or 13years without their consent.

Quote from: pc guru on November 29, 2009, 12:42 AM
Why does every topic
in nairaland begin with WHY? i gotten the Y bug too.shit


Read the post carefully.
Did it begin with "Why"?

mama gee, thot u left the thread? wonder what brought you back, still loving ur ass i guess

omo na lie

pls lets know exactly wat u have at d back of ur mind b4 asking

@OTUKPO

* It is a wrong notion/impression that igbo girls marry late. WRONG THEY DO (AND MAYBE OTHER TRIBES ALSO)

* What age shld be considered late or too late? ABOVE 32 I GUESS

* That the average Igboman wld prefer to be matured in mind and in finances b4 making the commitment of    marriage so as to livu up to his reponsiblity of being a man and a father. BULLSHIT, HE NEEDS TO HAVE MONEY TO GET A BRIDE NOTHIN TO DO WITH MATURITY

* That it is better to be matured to enter into marriage and remain in it happily than to rush into it and rush out. MATUITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AGE IN THIS INSTANCE BUT RATHER DELAY BECAUSE NO SUITOR (OR POOR SUITOR)

* That Igbo parents wld rather have their daughters educated and established in life so as to equip them for future challenges both in marriage and the world at larger. LOAD OF CRAP, EDUCATED AND ESTABLISHED MY ASS, DO YOU LIVE IN NIGERIA AT ALL, THEY ARE LOOKING TO MARRY THEM OUT TO STOP BEING THEIR OWN BURDEN BUT THEIR HUSBANDS

* The the issue of bride prize is a function/decision of the girl's family and not the whole village or Igbo as a tribe. ARE YOU FOR REAL, I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS (SOME ARE IGBO THEMSELVES) WHO MARRIED IGBO AND ALL OF THEM SAW IT AS A FINANCIAL PROJECT

* The the issue of marriage list is a thing of the girl's family as they can give out their daughter with or without the list. WITH THE LIST MOST TIMES I BET YO[/b]U

* That u cannot know what is obtainable in other tribes more than the pple of that tribe no matter how much u have associated with them. STORY[b], NO BE THE THING WEY PERSON SEE PERSON GO TALK

* That 98% of Igbo girls will prefer to remain single rather than settle for a 2nd wife not to talk of 5th, 6th or even 10th wife as some other wld. BASED ON WHICH STATISTICS, YOURS ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR MULTIPLE IGBO WIVES ARE RARER THAN MOST

* That u can marry an Igbo girl of your choice even if u are worth 50k as long as there is love btw u 2. KIDDING RIGHT, 50K NO GO COVER THE PLANNING EXPENSES SEF NOT O MENTION EXECUTION

* That u shld not allow urslf to be intimidated or discouraged abt all the igbo marriage exagerations cos they are all farce. NOT ALL OF THEM

* That it is only a crazy parent wld give out a daughter for marriage at age 8 as is obtainable in some tribes or use a daughter as a kola for a dear friend or for settlement purposes as also obtainable in some tribes. SOME PARENTS DO INARDVENTLY GIVE THIER DAUGHTERS OR ENCOURAGE THEM TO MARRY THE "HIGHEST BIDDER" I.E THE ONE WHO HAS THE MOST MONEY, NA TODAY

i can go on and on, but we can also express our opinions without insulting one another. TRUE,

Why is it difficult to validate post or it's only meant for the nonsense comments?

Am 24,and my mum is already singing marriage in my ears.Let's say I get married next year,which by then,I wld b 25yrs old. Is dat considered as being marrying late

@Poster,maybe u shld speak for urself,sisters n girlfrds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Lol

Like most pple here say,we (Igbo Girls) appreciate marriage more,when we re matured psychologically,emotionally,financially, etc. Really come to think of it,how many Igbo marriages,if I may put it so,hv gone down d drain(divorce),none dat I knw of,atleast speaking from my own perspective. So lemme correct d impression n if possible teach n bring to ur wacko head dat we dont marry late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok? Gud,glad dat u now get it. Did I hear u say thank u ma?Sure,u re welcome dearie!

i think it is time we say the truth to our selves and stop using hear say to come to conclusions

1. in igboland the dowry is not expensive, it is the other things that make up the list that makes it look expensive, but from my father's experience u are expected to negotiate the list and not perform all that is written on it
so u can deliver 5% of it and claim marriage is not a single day process but lifetime and no body would disturb u

2 what i have noticed in youths of these days is when they have a list of N1m they think by delivering N2m makes them more of a man than delivering 5% of it, so they go to crazy lengths to make it happen. it is simply pride and foolishness and nothing else

3. i know from experience cos i am no 7 in my house with 6 already married, there is racism in Nigeria even among our individual tribes, i think every parent that saw the civil war one way or the other hates the other tribe.

in actual u r from imo state and wants to get married to some one from abia state except the parents are enlighten u would go thru hell, like i am going thru now. and i have also seen some dude from ondo state he was not allowed by his parents to get married to a girl from osun state. it is not peculiar to any individual tribe

as for the poster, girls in Nigeria as a whole marry late for various reasons
i could list some but not entirely only this
1. marriage is becoming an expensive bizness in Nigeria, if u survive the traditional then u need to survive the church. go and price how much is hall ad decoration then u would know why boys and bitting their fingers
2. the girls ad becoming more and more richer and empowered than guys, this chickens out some guys and on the other hands some girls cant handle it they become arrogant.
3. maybe they may not have met some one they could trust and love
4. remember we are producing a lot of boys in Nigeria and not MEN, boys that think that the number of women they sleep with makes them a man so the ladies dont want to get hurt
5. like I overheard a lady saying "i prefer to be single than to marry a man that cheats on me" we know a lot of married men a high % of them cheat on their wives.
6. a lot of girls in nigeria have behavioral problems and attitudes, some still think power belongs to whom who shouts more and NAGS and unconsciously it drives the men away and boys would stick around just to sleep with them and run
7. the most important factor for every man , man or woman is to take out time and rediscover your self, Likes attract likes, chickens dont flock with eagles, take out time build your self build ur mind build ur attitude to life and people and b4 u know it u would attract some one like u and not chickens that want to dance around, the earlier u do it the faster u leave the singles market.

enjoy

Kceelyn:

Am 24,and my mum is already singing marriage in my ears.Let's say I get married next year,which by then,I wld b 25yrs old. Is dat considered as being marrying late

@Poster,maybe u shld speak for urself,sisters n girlfrds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Lol

Like most pple here say,we (Igbo Girls) appreciate marriage more,when we re matured psychologically,emotionally,f[b]inancially,[/b] etc. Really come to think of it,how many Igbo marriages,if I may put it so,hv gone down d drain(divorce),none dat I knw of,atleast speaking from my own perspective. So lemme correct d impression n if possible teach n bring to your wacko head dat we dont marry late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok? Gud,glad dat u now get it. Did I hear u say thank u ma?Sure,u re welcome dearie!

I think growing financial is more than all the other stuff. I m from the North but in love with an igbo girl but am almost getting frustrated cos all kinds of demands im not use to.

i think we are missing something here

the whole system in nigeria encourages people to marry late

1. starts primary school at 6 and graduate at 12
2. jss 1 starts at 12 or 13 then at 18 or 19 u r out
3. except for the very few some try jamb and waec 2 or 3 times so lets say averagely u enter university at 21
4. 21 + 4 year program + 2 years strike + 1 year wait at home doing nothing b4 u r posted for NYSC +1 year NYSC = 29
5. u r just leaving the school system at 29 then some adjust age to 25 and compress their primary education so as to get a job in a bank

6 calculating with the new age, 25(29) u get a job at 26(30), u rent ur first self contain at 27-28(31 - 32) then u think u have started to settle down 29 - 30 (33-34) , then u start looking for whom to date men tell me u would only see girls like u , or u go down to university to date some one younger and turn to her meal ticket

well this may not apply to rich kids that attend(ed) private schools.

at the end u are either 31(officially) or 35(naturally), even the under 17 team did not that that bad

so now u can get married

kaecy5:

i think we are missing something here

the whole system in nigeria encourages people to marry late

1. starts primary school at 6 and graduate at 12
2. jss 1 starts at 12 or 13 then at 18 or 19 u r out
3. except for the very few some try jamb and waec 2 or 3 times so lets say averagely u enter university at 21
4. 21 + 4 year program + 2 years strike + 1 year wait at home doing nothing b4 u r posted for NYSC +1 year NYSC = 29
5. u r just leaving the school system at 29 then some adjust age to 25 and compress their primary education so as to get a job in a bank

6 calculating with the new age, 25(29) u get a job at 26(30), u rent your first self contain at 27-28(31 - 32) then u think u have started to settle down 29 - 30 (33-34) , then u start looking for whom to date men tell me u would only see girls like u , or u go down to university to date some one younger and turn to her meal ticket

well this may not apply to rich kids that attend(ed) private schools.

at the end u are either 31(officially) or 35(naturally), even the under 17 team did not that that bad

so now u can get married

OMG!!!! . I love this analysis. In addition, u will have to pay like N2million for dowry

IGBO girls marry late because they want their younger sisters to get married first  before them. This is generally possible because the Ibos do not necessarily marry out of love,  they will therefore take their time until they find someone who meet their 'requirements'.

like an ibo friend of mine who fixed marriage date without having had a woman to marry,

many ibos will take turn to go back to their villages around christmas period to marry a man,

we could start another analysis

N2m dowry + trad marriage N1m + knocking on the door and other things 500k + white wedding hiring hall 800k + decoration 200k + new suit/gown  100k + transportation/hotel for inlaws/family 100k + food 300k = $$$$$$$

u see why the igbo boy marries late, some times u wish he can get support from his parents or family like his yoruba friends, remember he still has to contend with being the highest bidder u know

kaecy5:

we could start another analysis

N2m dowry + trad marriage N1m + knocking on the door and other things 500k + white wedding hiring hall 800k + decoration 200k + new suit/gown  100k + transportation/hotel for inlaws/family 100k + food 300k = $$$$$$$

u see why the igbo boy marries late, some times u wish he can get support from his parents or family like his yoruba friends, remember he still has to contend with being the highest bidder u know

chineke meeeee so so true .my colleague was a victim

I think growing financial is more than all the other stuff. I m from the North but in love with an igbo girl but am almost getting frustrated cos all kinds of demands im not use to.


Growing financially is one big part,YES!But then,der's more to marriage than just be financially stable.Quite agreed,marrying from most parts of Igbo,can be a little bit demanding,but you can always negotiate with ur in-laws to be.Maybe u hvnt heard it b4,but u surely can.If ur girl truly loves u,both of u will put heads together n work it out.I had a frd who was trying to get married n her pple,not particularly her parents,gave dis exhausting list n d guy almost went berserk.Wht did she do,she went back to her parents n told dem point blank to cut down on all d unneccesities n bliv me they did.My point is,they wld try to frustrate u n all,but it all boils down to d one u love.Go back,talk to her family,am sure they wld c reasons with u,cos frankly,d economy is really bad n nobody wants to throw away money unneccessary,esp. young couples or intending ones. My aunty is gettin married to a guy from  Adamawa state n we aint stressing him much.cos we knw times re hard.Abi them go drink garri after wedding??So my candid advice is to work it out with ur girl n in-laws to be.Do I make sense plz?

Note: It will also make sense if ur spouse is workin,will actually cut down on d expenses during n after ur wedding.Abi?

kaecy5:

we could start another analysis

N2m dowry + trad marriage N1m + knocking on the door and other things 500k + white wedding hiring hall 800k + decoration 200k + new suit/gown  100k + transportation/hotel for inlaws/family 100k + food 300k = $$$$$$$

u see why the igbo boy marries late, some times u wish he can get support from his parents or family like his yoruba friends, remember he still has to contend with being the highest bidder u know

guy i enjoy ur analysis die. interesting.

Kceelyn:

Am 24,and my mum is already singing marriage in my ears.Let's say I get married next year,which by then,I wld b 25yrs old. Is dat considered as being marrying late

sorry but is your name oluchi by chance at all. ?

@kceelyn

i quite agree with your last post. some families allow the guy to negotiate but also the woman also has an important part to play in the negotiating process as well.

but can you pls tell us how much your guys are asking the guy to bring as bride price.e.t.c so we can have an idea of hoe merciful u guys are o the guy.

[tr]@poster, Igbo gals dosen't marry late. And even if they do, that is why u hardly see them divorcing their husband b'cos they are matured in mind. And there parents cannot give them out to an old man (@14) to be used as a slave. She will be a house wife while the old man goes around looking for a matured ladies for concubine.[/tr]

I feel you sis. absolutely correct,

buzugbe:

Most Igbo girls marry late cos of the high dowry that is placed on them.
suitors can't afford to lavish such amount all in the name of marriage.

and after the marriage , the couples will be soaking gari

It is because they are money conscious and rude

axeman85:

@epi

now i understand your commrnt earlier. yes if your parents wants to find a rich man for you to marry then that is arranged marriage which should be the case as a woman irrespective of her tribe should be given or have the right to meet a man, love him, take him to her parents and they should accept him without having to start digging into his financial background or the faults in his tribe or family.

Generally speaking - Even though our parents really know what's best for us it's sad that some of them plant the same "hate" inside their own family.  When I say hate, I am talking about the light skinned - dark skinned inferiority.   Some parents still have that house slave mentality, the light skinned child must not marry a man (especially a dark-skinned) unless he is RICH.

Some, Igbo girlss are suffering from inferiority complex and that could be one of the reason why they are marrying late.

Because most ibo men marry late.

well, it happens every where but, "but" cannot be left out, because it is more in Igbo Land.

We love it that way

free us and our full blooded igbo women

We dont even want any mongrels

On the contrary, i think its the Ibo men who marry late while the ladies marry earlier, Well educate me

i observed that igbo ladies, old and single.i dont think i can even marry igbo girls

bayourgold:

i observed that igbo ladies, old and single.i dont think i can even marry igbo girls

that is your opinion

lmao!!!
wow, people on NL are really obsessed with slandering igbos 24/7
not only that, slandering everyone.
well a lot of people say that the poster asked a simple question, yes.
but it was where the topic was driven to is what is annoying a lot of people.
people cant answer the simple question, yet they use it to bash igbos and bash other tribes.

i wish jaybee or iice or someone can mop up this thread.

Yorubas are simply evil,  they thrive on hatred and jealousy, yet they are bunch of cowards. why not stress the national angle of the phenomenon rather than engaging in this habitual anti-Igbo tirade? The situation is not as dire as the author insinuates. Every ethnic group have their own onions, u cannot generalize that yoruba men are too promiscous because Abiola had over 80 uncountable children. U cannot generalize that yoruba ladies stink because alot of them at Ijebu ode axis, who are hawkers, are dirty and prostitute.

this question is very good and interesting but remember everybody knows his or her own, they want marry the best the like.