0hsisi:


Don't marry a man beneath you
You'll regret it
I have seen it happen
Go and check out the broken Nigerian marriages in this America ,most of the time it's a high earning wife and an underachieving husband.
A man decides to drive cab for years on end,he goes home and marries a nurse.Few years down the line ,she's making twice his annual salary
Katakata will start.

He has to be as educated as you are , preferably more
He has to earn at least as much as you ,preferably more
I'm not saying a woman should leave her husband if he loses his job or she starts earning more than he does
far be it from me
But from the get go,he needs to wear the pants like a man and being financially superior at the time of marriage will place him where he ought to be if not you may have a very insecure man in your hands that'll overcompensate his insecurities by being abusive and intimidating.
That's the way it normally goes.
Be wise
Choose carefully. Weed off the psychos and weed off the jobless and lazy

Your subsequent responses made nonsense of your advice.
No man is beneath a lady, especially whom he want to marry.
Even your younger brother is not beneath you.

However, I think most of the ladies miss out the difference between being lazy
and jobless status. Even if you have a job but you are lazy, you will still not do your duty
I can stand a jobless status man, but I have great discontent for a lazy-bone.

I know of a man who married his wife in his jobless status.
All his friends and family were against his decision.
A relative who sponsored the wedding did it grudginly.
Today, this same man gave out 12 cars as gift during last year christmas.
Chief Alex Akinyele, former infromation minister married his wife, Yvonne when he was jobless,
till she died, everyone know he adore her.
Love is far above having job or being jobless.
Choice of partner is beyond the jobless status of the persons involved.
Lastly, the people interviewed in this post lives a larger than life kind of live
embedded in deceit and make-believe.
So beware when ou take advise from them or follow their footstep

I think that is the worst thing to do actually. Marry a man who is not educationally and intellectually up to par. I believe a man has to be educationally smarter than his woman.

i guess this is the prerequisite to having a good marriage. get a PHD and you would live happily ever after.  I agree with dating someone with intellectual but the requirement that a man be "educationally" smarter (whatever the hell that means) than his wife is hilarious.

No man is beneath a lady, especially whom he want to marry.
Even your younger brother is not beneath you.

why should anyone be beneath anyone?  You guys just make life over-complicated. 
the comments of some women on this thread makes you question whether they take the concept of gender equality seriously.

some men are jobless due to the fact that they have searched and tried looking for a job but all to no avail so some men are jobless due to one reason or the other. notwithstanding a jobless man shouldnt be even thinking of going near marriage at all.

word, marriage should be the last thing on his radar.

how would he even pay for his wedding?

Don't marry a man beneath you
You'll regret it
I have seen it happen
Go and check out the broken Nigerian marriages in this America ,most of the time it's a high earning wife and an underachieving husband.
A man decides to drive cab for years on end,he goes home and marries a nurse.Few years down the line ,she's making twice his annual salary
Katakata will start.

He has to be as educated as you  are , preferably more
He has to earn at least as much as you ,preferably more
I'm not saying a woman should leave her husband if he loses his job or she starts earning more than he does
far be it from me
But from the get go,he needs to wear the pants like a man and being financially superior at the time of marriage will place him where he ought to be if not you may have a very insecure man in your hands that'll overcompensate his insecurities by being abusive and intimidating.
That's the way it normally goes.
Be wise
Choose carefully. Weed off the psychos and weed off the jobless and lazy

what this really sounds like is advice to men to do what they can to limit their wive's aspirations in order to preserve their marriages

i know of a family friend in the us - who hustled as taxi cab driver etal to put his wife through nursing school. the moment the women started bring home more money than him, she started flipping the script

as an American you should know that a man being  hard working does not necessarily mean his wife won't wind up earning more than him.  guys who married computer geek chicks who went on to work for google in its infancy come to mind

i think in the end, most nigerian women, like Nigerian men, marry more out of convenience/condition than love. thats why when men hit money na second wife, and if women hit money, its to begin treating the husband like a doormat  

word, marriage should be the last thing on his radar.

how would he even pay for his wedding?

slightly offtopic - i had a convo with a friend the other da. u don't need money to get married or be married - its kids that you MUST have a steady income for.

slightly offtopic - i had a convo with a friend the other da. u don't need money to get married or be married - its kids that you MUST have a steady income for.

i hear you but you know how SOME women love to talk about their dream wedding and wanting to outshine their friends.  kids can be delayed if the couple aren't stable enough. gold circle is cheaper than kindergarten.

bawomolo:

i hear you but you know how SOME women love to talk about their dream wedding and wanting to outshine their friends.  kids can be delayed if the couple aren't stable enough. gold circle is cheaper than kindergarten.

kindegarten ke u are thinking too far

how about diapers, baby formula, baby soap, immunizations - and if u wan raise butta pikins - e no easy o

What matters is not so much as if a man has a job,but whether he has ambition and is pushing hard to achieve them.A jobless man in 2010 can be earning millions within 2 years.

You dont need millions to marry,if there is love a simple registry marriage would do.

Kids can wait until both partners are financially stable.

my 2 cents!

bawomolo:

You guys just make life over-complicated.
the comments of some women on this thread makes you question whether they take the concept of gender equality seriously.

Dude, Naija babes fear me no be small. Their comments can make you go "woaaaaaaah" .
The level of their ineptitude at times is simply astounding.

i now know that most of Nigerian ladies think off is money money and more money, very sad indeed, what if the guy becomes jobless a week to marriage or a week after marriage just like the case of several bank workers that were laid off, in the latter case, would the woman leave the man after lying bout staying together for better or worse in front of the alter and guest, shio ,

See as all these girls open their mouth dey yarn nonsense. When una begin visit all these white garment churches e go b like say God no dey answer prayers again. Nna unu a na akpu dinkpa. Mr right shuld always b mr right even wtout any job.

aruzuoke:

See as all these girls open their mouth dey yarn nonsense. When una begin visit all these white garment churches e go b like say God no dey answer prayers again. Nna unu a na akpu dinkpa. Mr right shuld always b mr right even wtout any job.

no mind them, na aristo chick syndrome dey worry them

Maybe this is what Bone Thugs was talking about when they said foe tha love of money

hehehe, ok yes, i will make money and get married but if she doesn't give me ''that thing'', i will loosen my belt ,  then after that she better do the house cleaning real good and the cooking as well, at least she wants money, 

1

Sprumbaba:

Someone said on the forum she wont marry a guy that make less than her.

See, I make less than my wife (in terms of salary)and there is no fuss about it.My net worth is beyond what she makes.

Also, I lost my job 2 months into our marriage.Nothing changed, i still pay the bills and take her for shopping.

The question is, will you marry a lazy man?

Mr., Marriage has become the new get rich quick scheme for Naija women.

Right on the front page is a thread on reasons to dump an older girl for a younger one. The OP took great care in citing his reasons. . .Saggy bosoms, loose conduit(?), She's getting ugly and more crapola.

We've seen many threads started by guys, talking about what kinda wife they want. . .

She's got to be sweet and sexy, a wh0re in bed, an angel out of it. Must come with Figure 8 and must be able to magically snap back in shape after popping out the 10 million litters I require to show I'm a virile man. Most importantly, she must know when to shut the fccuk up and sit the fccuk down. ^{*Scratches crotch, spits and sniffs*} Yeah, baby!

All these unrealistic expectations yet no one bats an eye but when a girl suggests her future husband has to be rich and educated, you all get all up in arms talking about. . . Is that what will make a marriage work (Yeah, like having perpetually perky bosoms is why marriage lasts long) Oh what a gold digger! She's living in lalaland. . . all of a sudden you now know some things only exist in fantasyland.

What crock!!!

At least what girls expect is something that can be achieved and only a lazy, lack of ambition leech will find it hard to deal with but a guy who knows where he is going and has the confidence he'll get there will just laugh and say. . ."I'm right here my darlin', mi amore, mon Cheri, Olo mi!!" (Well of course he speaks many languages he is INTELLIGENT. Duh!

1

Sprumbaba:

I wonder ooo. I remember when i finished serving as a youth corp. I got a new office and started my own business. This lady left because i did not make any money for almost 8 months.
After 4 years, she never married.

I said it to her face that she left because there was no money and where is your husband and kids now. Atleast, she could see i have the passion to work and soil my hands to make ends meet.

I'd be glad I didn't get stuck with the impatient heffer. Women like that are bad news. Even if you had been able to make ends meet at that point in time, there's no telling that she wouldn't have milked you dry.

1

LOL. Love not gon' put food on the table

1

The topic is 'will you marry a jobless man' and na only brothers' dey contribute.

Where are all the gold diggers who were responding at the beginning?

Most 9ja babes are shortsighted.

They dont seem to understand that the guy that has money today may not have anything 2mrw and vise versa, the thing is, can you stick by this guy even in trying times. Of course this is assuming the guy is not a lazy guy and you didn't marry him because of the little cash he showed you.

infact some girls will preffer that the guy has money, buys correct car for them, correct house they live in and travel abroad regularly, but the guy has plenty girlfriends and beats the hell outer them.

I know of a lady who married a jobless guy with potential because of love. The wife stayed with her husband all through thick and thin and when the heavens finally opened, the guy secured a job in an Oil firm. Guess who is now enjoying the marriage?


To ladies who can't, we will be there to worship together with you in church when you start singing "I am married to Jesus, "

yes, i will marry him over and over again!!! if he has d right character, the right attitude towards life and has great ideas! if i am the one making the money, what happened to having a business together after marriage? abeg, as long as we love each other and mutually respect each other, and he does not see any problem with me making all the money, i dont mind.
i have a friend that her husband lost his job(dat makes him jobless abi?), he's up at 5am before her, arranges d kids for school, drops them off, comes home and arranges for their arrival, uses his spare time to job hunt and is the sweetest man ever, he eventually got a job, and is about to drop it cause the kids are suffering. (she's a banker). so whats wrong with that. they've finally agreed that a business for him to run will be the best decision to avail him time take care of the family cos she's d one with the better pay!

the major issue is male chauvinism, can he take up d role of a woman when he is jobless? or just be a plain bas, tard, like i said, the right attitude

eddiebomba:

The topic is 'will you marry a jobless man' and na only brothers' dey contribute.

Where are all the gold diggers who were responding at the beginning?

Most 9ja babes are shortsighted.

They dont seem to understand that the guy that has money today may not have anything 2mrw and vise versa, the thing is, can you stick by this guy even in trying times. Of course this is assuming the guy is not a lazy guy and you didn't marry him because of the little cash he showed you.

infact some girls will preffer that the guy has money, buys correct car for them, correct house they live in and travel abroad regularly, but the guy has plenty girlfriends and beats the hell outer them.

And when the luxury she is managing to enjoy also dries up, the beating and girlfriend the guy has will multiply.

cvibe:

I know of a lady who married a jobless guy with potential because of love. The wife stayed with her husband all through thick and thin and when the heavens finally opened, the guy secured a job in an Oil firm. Guess who is now enjoying the marriage?


To ladies who can't, we will be there to worship together with you in church when you start singing "I am married to Jesus, "

You are wicked!!!!

^^
Thats amaka for you

Goosh!

cvibe:

I know of a lady who married a jobless guy with potential because of love. The wife stayed with her husband all through thick and thin and when the heavens finally opened, the guy secured a job in an Oil firm. Guess who is now enjoying the marriage?

STORY!!!
It happens only in the movies and Novels.
Assuming this is real and as simple as You made it sound,
there aren't 2 Dudes like him around. They are both Lucky to find 'emselves.

cvibe:

To ladies who can't, we will be there to worship together with you in church when you start singing "I am married to Jesus, "

Are You saying all Naija men are Jobless and therefore anyone who
wouldn't be with one of 'em is likely to remain single 4ever?
The situation is even Worse than I thought.

I wont say yes or no. It all depends on the reason for joblessness.
What if you get married and he loses his job.

@ chika98

There is no need calling me names in Igbo language, i can read and understand Igbo langauage pretty well though i can't say the same about writing it.

Now back to the topic. My problem with some of u claming that u can't marry somebody who makes less than u do is this: Marriage is not ONLY about money money and money. Every job pays different salaries and different pay pacages, maybe his take home salary is less than that of his wife but other incentives like car, house, medical insurance may add more value than the wife's take home salary.

Marrying a man's pay cheque and not his personality or looks is just pure shallow. What happens when the money is not there? U jump to another fat cat? What happens to caring, understanding and love? This is why divorce rates are going up, cos pple marry for wrong reasons.

justwise:

Marrying a man's pay cheque and not his personality or looks is just pure shallow. What happens when the money is not there? U jump to another fat cat? What happens to caring, understanding and love? This is why divorce rates are going up, cos pple marry for wrong reasons.

These are just as important as his Pocket.

Well, I don't have a problem with getting married to a man who earns less than I do.
Just get Your a$$ to work and bring money home, that's all I ask. [size=5pt]One of the things I ask[/size].