prechbills1:
My fiance and I have been dating for the past 3years. I attained 24 last week, I wanted to get married to her last year but I just wanted to wait till I attain 24.

The problem I have now is my mom. She is opposing our marriage because my fiancee is 5 years older than me, I'm 24 while she's 29. My dad has already endorsed the marriage, I'd have liked to go on with the marriage but I don't think going into marriage without both parents blessing is sensible that's why I need my mom's blessing and endorsement.

My fiance has good character, she's very kind and intelligent, I can't afford to lose her because of pressures from my mom at least I'm an adult.

I don't know what's happening, my mom endorsed our relationship but she doesn't endorse our marriage just because she's 5years older than me. The thing is, I can't leave this lady ,not now not ever, she have done so many things for me.

in fact she even promised to provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage!. She is rich, yes she is, the house I'm in living in now belongs to her, I moved in with her in 2016.

The truth is I love her and I can't afford to lose her because of my mom's wish. Both her parents and my dad have given us go ahead for marriage but my mom still doesn't want me to marry because of age and my fiance is beautiful.

I don't know what do now ,that's why I think I need advice from you guys,.I don't know if I should go ahead with the marriage without my mom's endorsement/blessings.

please advice

If ur mums only reason of objection is the agr pls go ahead and marry her. Age is just a num at the end of the day. U cud even marry a younger person and end up miserable so wat is the significance of age? Just make sure ur mature enough to know wat u want and how to handle ur relationship cos i have a slight feeling she might be dictating certain things to u based on shes might be more mature than u are and even richer than u are, u live in her HOUSE. Theres that tendency unless she just God sent i mean like perfect package bt if not u have to know how to handle that. U seem to be so much at her Mercy and generosity. Wat are u bringing to the table? Or do u live the US or UK? All d best.

If anything I pity the lady who is settling for less. I just don’t understand why. How can a man move into your house and you’re happy to accept that. Smh for these ladies. Over my dead body.

prechbills1:


okay, but where did I say I don't have my own cash?

Your right up justifies that. Imagine, you said she has done alot for you, you live in her house, she wants to contribute about 80% of the things required for your wedding..

prechbills1:
My fiance and I have been dating for the past 3years. I attained 24 last week, I wanted to get married to her last year but I just wanted to wait till I attain 24.

The problem I have now is my mom. She is opposing our marriage because my fiancee is 5 years older than me, I'm 24 while she's 29. My dad has already endorsed the marriage, I'd have liked to go on with the marriage but I don't think going into marriage without both parents blessing is sensible that's why I need my mom's blessing and endorsement.

My fiance has good character, she's very kind and intelligent, I can't afford to lose her because of pressures from my mom at least I'm an adult.

I don't know what's happening, my mom endorsed our relationship but she doesn't endorse our marriage just because she's 5years older than me. The thing is, I can't leave this lady ,not now not ever, she have done so many things for me.

in fact she even promised to provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage!. She is rich, yes she is, the house I'm in living in now belongs to her, I moved in with her in 2016.

The truth is I love her and I can't afford to lose her because of my mom's wish. Both her parents and my dad have given us go ahead for marriage but my mom still doesn't want me to marry because of age and my fiance is beautiful.

I don't know what do now ,that's why I think I need advice from you guys,.I don't know if I should go ahead with the marriage without my mom's endorsement/blessings.

please advice

Please advice?

Your mum has given you enough advice yet you chose to take advice from people who know nothing about you or your family.

Better listen to your mum!

Weeks or months later you will create a new nairaland ID and start sharing stories that touch.

prechbills1:

she'd only provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage, I'd provide 20.

I don't know why you guys reason this way

noxide:


Please advice?

Your mum has given you enough advice yet you chose to take advice from people who know nothing about you or your family.

Better listen to your mum!

Weeks or months later you will create a new nairaland ID and start sharing stories that touch.

Hear your mama hear your papa, life go better for u

TheUpsetGirl1:
later guys will start calling us golddiggers, so what are you guys going to call this one

thief go and marry your mate

oildigger!!
ole, you better go and marry your mate, ,no wonder biacan said you depend on a commissioner's daughter for livelihood.

thief

TheUpsetGirl... E dey pain am o
Better go and look for your own rich sugar daddy.

Safiaa:
If anything I pity the lady who is settling for less. I just don’t understand why. How can a man move into your house and you’re happy to accept that. Smh for these ladies. Over my dead body.

There's nothing wrong with that dear. Its only strange in this part of the world. In the Us and uk men move in with their ladies all the time or they move in together bt the lady most times owns or gets the house. Im more bothered about the maturity deficit and whos controlling who? The guy has said a single thing he's doing. The gal is doing it ALL. Thats strange to me. Im not comfortable with that yet

what an elder sees sitting down.....even if u like climb iroko tree .u cant see it o

prechbills1:


please I need serious advice. I can't afford to lose her
.not now ,not ever.

what are you doing to make money? If you can work hard and make money the age difference will disappear.

prechbills1:



what proof do you want? do you think I'm a jobless guy that waste hours to compose fake stories to Garner likes? I'm talking about reality and you're saying another thing.
yes, age is the main reason why my mom doesn't want us to get married. I don't know if she harbours other intentions but that's the reason she gave.

I think ur mum feels a man shud be in CONTROL of his home bt ure not going to be in control of urs from the ways she's see it.

Its One thing to date bt another thing to Marry that person. So think very well. Tho u said the lady is good and all i really hope so. Then ure a lucky cat

jaxxy:


There's nothing wrong with that dear. Its only strange in this part of the world. In the Us and uk men move in with their ladies all the time or they move in together bt the lady most times owns or gets the house. Im more bothered about the maturity deficit and whos controlling who? The guy has said a single thing he's doing. The gal is doing it ALL. Thats strange to me. Im not comfortable with that yet

this is the part of the
he staying in.

jaxxy:


There's nothing wrong with that dear. Its only strange in this part of the world. In the Us and uk men move in with their ladies all the time or they move in together bt the lady most times owns or gets the house. Im more bothered about the maturity deficit and whos controlling who? The guy has said a single thing he's doing. The gal is doing it ALL. Thats strange to me. Im not comfortable with that yet

No. I live in the uk, born and raised and if any man moves into my house with pride I would NEVER respect him. I wouldn’t even date a man who would think of doing that, so that’s different entirely. We could move in together, with you taking up most of the financial bills or I move in to your house. One or the other, and that’s after marriage. Thanks

OP i have read most of your response to people who seems to agree with your mum, and what i can deduce from it is that you dont need advice as you have already made up your mind. I mean, how can u come to a public forum to ask for advice, and whoever gives you(the best way they can) a piece of their thought- in support of your mum's, is either shut down or insulted. Here is mine; marry her as you wish and don't even invite your mum.

Listen to your mother, she knows best.

I don't know if you believe that God has already established who you would marry and who you would be. He owns your life and knows everything about. Just like all phones have manuals to enable the users maximize the full capacity of their devices so are we in the hands of God. He knows you better that you do ask Jeremiah 1 vs 5. So just ask him and I'm sure he would tell you. He sees beyond just today.

Age is just a number, in USA n UK u see women who are far older than their husband n they are okay. Age factor in Africa culture makes parents act odawise. Y don't u av a heart to heart talk with your Mum.

Just negodu this nigga.

You've already made up your mind.

What other advice do you want?

Do whatever pleases thee.

It's a free world.

lwanga1993:
my dear check yourself.. are you really ready to settle down ?.. do you really love this fiance of yours unconditionally regardless of the things you benefit from her...... because from your write up all i can see is a kinda naive boy who wants to shortcut his hustle by marrying an already made woman....... and lemme remind you..based on your write up.. i think the girl is the one proposing marriage here.

NB: if person help you.. tell am thank you. you mist not return the favour with marriage.

Damn straight!

phayvoursky:
OP, mother is trying to protect you from calling your wife aunty or madam in few years to come.

Your wife owns the house and probably gives money for upkeep like Okon the houseman.

Mr man go and look for a job or join gee boys. One must pay you.

You don't love that lady, you love her money and I'm reporting you to her.

Hahahahah...u sure cracked me up...hahahahahah...hehehehehe...

prechbills1:
My fiance and I have been dating for the past 3years. I attained 24 last week, I wanted to get married to her last year but I just wanted to wait till I attain 24.

The problem I have now is my mom. She is opposing our marriage because my fiancee is 5 years older than me, I'm 24 while she's 29. My dad has already endorsed the marriage, I'd have liked to go on with the marriage but I don't think going into marriage without both parents blessing is sensible that's why I need my mom's blessing and endorsement.

My fiance has good character, she's very kind and intelligent, I can't afford to lose her because of pressures from my mom at least I'm an adult.

I don't know what's happening, my mom endorsed our relationship but she doesn't endorse our marriage just because she's 5years older than me. The thing is, I can't leave this lady ,not now not ever, she have done so many things for me.

in fact she even promised to provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage!. She is rich, yes she is, the house I'm in living in now belongs to her, I moved in with her in 2016.

The truth is I love her and I can't afford to lose her because of my mom's wish. Both her parents and my dad have given us go ahead for marriage but my mom still doesn't want me to marry because of age and my fiance is beautiful.

I don't know what do now ,that's why I think I need advice from you guys,.I don't know if I should go ahead with the marriage without my mom's endorsement/blessings.

please advice

Age is a number. However, age has varying effects on opposite sex in the future. While men tend to be younger, the reverse is often times the case for women.

Marriage is beyond friendship and dating. It's a life time institution where no one graduates even after series of examinations. Hence, one has to look inward before taking a decisive action.

Your mother could possibly have plausible reason (s) why she doesn't want you to say, "yes, I do". However, where I am not comfortable with her decision is because she acts like a two edge sword. She is okay for you to date her and possibly taking advantage of her wealth without minding the damsel emotion, but she's not comfortable for you to call her yours for ever. I call it wickedness from the pit of hell.

Cases abound where some men married women that are older than them. Of a truth, though not empirically verified, I for one believe that 95% of those women happen to be richer than those men at the point when they were saying, "yes, I do", just like your case in which the lady is accommodating you and even proposed to expend 4/5 of total expenditures for both of you to become man and woman. However, it is not a must that in the long run, the woman must be richer than the man. A typical example is the case of His Excellency and Her Excellency, Governor and Betty Akerodolu of Ondo State.

yeyerolling:
parental blessing has no impact on the success of a marriage. Call her bluff

You really think so?!

prechbills1:
she'd only provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage, I'd provide 20.
I don't know why you guys reason this way

DON'T TAKE DIS D WRONG WAY, BUT UR SOUNDING LIKE A CAPITAL MUGU

prechbills1:
she'd only provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage, I'd provide 20.
I don't know why you guys reason this way

DON'T TAKE DIS D WRONG WAY, BUT UR SOUNDING LIKE A CAPITAL MUGU

FromZeroToHero:
men age like wine while women age like milk. God created Adam first before Eve so a man should be older than the woman. in the next 20 years when she must have finished giving birth she will definitely look far older than you as if she is the one that gave birth to you. secondly for you to move into a woman's house and for her to agree to sponsor the marriage is an error. you will loose your authority and respect as the head of the Family because from the look of things she will still be the one to cater for you after marriage.

OP, please listen to these words and others like it. I beg of you, please listen good.

prechbills1:

she'd only provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage, I'd provide 20.

I don't know why you guys reason this way

Guess your mind is made up already.

I understand though, it's a heady feeling-being in love but you'd be doing well to remember this, staying in love takes a whole lot of work and a whole lot of factors inform achieving this feat (yes, it is a feat as a lot of couples, married and dating are no longer in love even though some fail to realise this or kid themselves it isn't so).

Wishing you well.

prechbills1:
My fiance and I have been dating for the past 3years. I attained 24 last week, I wanted to get married to her last year but I just wanted to wait till I attain 24.

The problem I have now is my mom. She is opposing our marriage because my fiancee is 5 years older than me, I'm 24 while she's 29. My dad has already endorsed the marriage, I'd have liked to go on with the marriage but I don't think going into marriage without both parents blessing is sensible that's why I need my mom's blessing and endorsement.

My fiance has good character, she's very kind and intelligent, I can't afford to lose her because of pressures from my mom at least I'm an adult.

I don't know what's happening, my mom endorsed our relationship but she doesn't endorse our marriage just because she's 5years older than me. The thing is, I can't leave this lady ,not now not ever, she have done so many things for me.

in fact she even promised to provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage!. She is rich, yes she is, the house I'm in living in now belongs to her, I moved in with her in 2016.

The truth is I love her and I can't afford to lose her because of my mom's wish. Both her parents and my dad have given us go ahead for marriage but my mom still doesn't want me to marry because of age and my fiance is beautiful.

I don't know what do now ,that's why I think I need advice from you guys,.I don't know if I should go ahead with the marriage without my mom's endorsement/blessings.

please advice

Note this bro : those who divorce today were once 'madly in love', but things took a turn when issues arose and both of them couldn't solve them and they were defeated by the storms that arose.

Mothers are not just any body, the love that exists is far beyond physical love, for a mother that always prays for her son - she has been doing that since you were born, don't take her advices with loose hands sir. Don't call any bluff.
Mothers have a deeper intuition than fathers do about their children so if they say something.. Take heed.
Now, take notice of your mother, does she speak with sentiments when she disallows you from marrying her or she speaks from her heart?
It's not all about love that you're experiencing now sir.. It's all about sustainability, your mom isn't worried about your show of love now as it is perfectly normal.. Two intending couples will always profess undying love before marriage, but how sustainable.?
I'm a Christian and for me matters like this, I take to God in prayer for He knows more than I do and he will certainly guide me.

Please, look beyond now sir..
Sustainability is what counts

Marriage has no one formulae that works for all, i have seen ladies that got married to guys they senior, but they live happily ever, i have also seen those that had headship tussles just because the woman is richer or older....this tussle i guess is what your mum is trying to avoid. However brother, its natural for some people to fall in love with older women than younger ones, its natural for some people ok, and its normal but in everything just know that you are yourself and this oa purely your decision. There is no advice that can guarantee you 100% happiness in future. But my observation is, if you moved in with this lady, stayed happily for two years without major hitches, then there is more likelihood that your future with her will be without major hitches, because two years peacefully with someone is not two days....its not easy to pretend that long. Another observation i have is, many older ladies appreciate it when young guys come to them because its more of a natural love but if you go for money, it will show in no distance time and believe me your house will be made hell because you will be tempted to cheat on her with younger girls and that will bring out the beast in her.
If you want to marry her, please go ahead but make sure its because you love her and willing to be very faithful now and after. Another major thing is that you must make sure to be the man in terms of responsibility no matter how richer she is. Use the little you have to take good care of her and don't over show that you care about her money instead insist that you both live by your means(your level of income) not her own, this will assure her that you are not a gold digger.
In all, brother, don't believe that everybody must endorse your marriage because people give advice that favours them or makes them more comfortable or happier, don't be surprised that some people here who are telling you not to marry maybe out of jealousy. Even your mum, she is simply afraid that the 100% influence she used to enjoy maybe eluded completely because she thinks you may not be in charge due to age difference as for your Dad, men don't care much about how you run your home that's why he doesn't have problem with the marriage. Parents want you to marry where it will end up favouring them consciously or unconsciously, but will always tell you its for your own good.

In all, don't forget that if you fail in marriage just like every other live endeavour, everybody will distance themselves but if you succeed, they will hail you.

So the decision is all yours to make, as for parents blessings, i have seen marriages endorsed by everyone including their parents and at the end, the marriage failed and i have seen some not endorsed by any one, yet at the end, the marriage flourished. Its for you to pray and ask God for blessings and then convince yourself that you can live with the Lady happily ever, then take the bull by the horn.

I advice you go ahead and marry her if and only if you have assessed everything about her and get convinced that you have not seen anything that you can't live with the rest of your live. As for minor issues, it will always come above all, you both should agree to make your marriage work and it will work, your mum will eventually come onboard.

Warning, Don't ever discuss with your wife about who supported and who did not support your marriage, its breeds a foundational problem.

GOODLUCK!

brother the truth is that ur not ripe for marriage. u are only presurizing ursef towards it cuz sh is pushing for it cuz age is not on her side..again..u are attracted to her being rich...wen u start seeing the troubles that com with rich gals in.marriage, den u wld be frustrated nad feel like suicide.....go nd mingle with enough gals,have fun and let her b

stacyadams:
my love..these days the elders with their eyeglass no dey see anytin again mbok

Hahahahahah...heheheheheh...it's going to be a glorious day! Hahahahahah.

chihes:
Are you sure you really love this girl or is it because she is rich? Why I asked this question is because you mentioned alot about her money and the things she has done for u. Pls check yourself. I dont think your mum is refusing you both getting married just because of the age-gap. Personaly I dont see anything wrong about that once there is true love. But my dear at 24, I think you are too young to marry a rich lady who you contributed nothing to her wealth. I dont think you are man enough to handle her. If you were to be a lady getting married to a rich man at 24, its ok but a man...Ha! I wonder how its gonna be. Maybe mama is right. I think you should slow down and work towards making your own money for now.Just tell the lady to be patient and build up yourslf first. Dont worry about her age, if she is truely yours, everything will be fine and work out perfectly. But be a man first.

Damn straight!

prechbills1:

she'd only provide 80% of the things needed for the marriage, I'd provide 20.

I don't know why you guys reason this way

You need a brain revamp or you are simply kidding.

Follow your heart man but jus make sure you don't end up being a house boy