That means me when dey 26 and one marry oyibo woman when be 51 years nor need talk be that na

supereagle:


All those things don't count, I know many families the wives earn more than the husbands, but they leave happily. There is one, the husband is junior to the wife in the office, but at home, the husband becomes oga. My advice is if you marry be hardworking, provide for the family. I know a lot of couples whose wives are older than the husbands. There's a prof in UCH, the wife was two years older they are happy family.

. 20%out. of 100%

BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHER, NO WONDER.

Arondizuogu:
Give your mom an ultimatum: I'm getting married that's final, either you come or you don't come. Age doesn't play any role in marriage.. if you are matured enough and so is she then I see why not? My GF is 10 years older than me and I currently don't care. Both our families know.

Safiaa:
No. I live in the uk, born and raised and if any man moves into my house with pride I would NEVER respect him. I wouldn’t even date a man who would think of doing that, so that’s different entirely. We could move in together, with you taking up most of the financial bills or I move in to your house. One or the other, and that’s after marriage. Thanks

Ok maybe not UK bt in the US in certain. Men move in with ladies it's not a big deal really. Bills shud be shared not one person doing it all c'mon. Respect for a person shudnt just come because they are capable of paying ur bills pls cos it means anytime dat person can't the respect goes out the window. Lol

My man which experience do you have in marriage, are you the only son?
Marriage now is not alone for love but it is all about maturity mind and money..
Age is not barrier but you must consider many things including life after marriage...

Let me advice you whatever that is sweet don't last..
She gave you a house,money and other things.. What did you gave her nothing but sex...
My brother we are Nigerians not white,since you are 24 yrs .I beg you to go have more experience in life leave the gal with her money..take advice of your mom..
There are more to see than to talk....thanks

My brother , and to others viewing this thread ...good day .

I strongly believe you guys are going about this the wrong way . It's not an issue of age difference or financial incentive that concerns me but rather ...the personality of the OP and if he has the tools to survive in a marriage to such a woman .

Ordinarily I am strongly against the idea of marriage where the man is not an alpha male who uses his " frame " to control the relationship . I strongly believe that the only reason one should marry is only for legal convenience and children .

So to the OP may I ask a couple of questions ? What is your relationship with this woman like ?

Who is more dominant most of the times in this relationship ? ( I say most of the times because dominance shifts subconsciously or otherwise ).

The fact that you have to bring this to this forum ...tells me that you are severally lacking in the relationship mental department but don't worry you are not alone .

You as a man there are certain things you must constantly exhibit in your relationships and that is covert and overt control ( frame ) .

Truth be told if you have a beta mindset as against an alpha mindset do not go into marriage . Not saying it won't work . Just saying you won't know how to handle issues . Which could lead to regret .

I've been with women older than me before ...and it's no different . You are the only constant factor here . At age 24 what are you getting married for tho ? What have you achieved in life ?

I clearly see you are suffering from " onenitis " ...she is the one syndrome . These are all signs of a beta mindset ...

If you think I'm wrong ...go read up on the red pill theory .

Read the book ' the great female con ' .

Read www.therationalemale.com ... The teachings of Rollo tomassi .

Unplug yourself from the matrix of social convention .

All the best .

prechbills1:


your comment is highly appreciated, this is the best advice I've gotten so far.

now to the bolded post, if you read my post carefully you'll notice that I never said I'm poor!, I've my own money. I have enough resources to sponsor the marriage but she insisted to do that.

It's the best advice you've gotten because it syncs with the decision you've made already; the decision to defy your mom and go ahead with the wedding.

Not knocking your hustle, just telling it like it is.

Again, good-luck and all the best.

You's the biitxh of the house boy. Have that in mind from the start.

prechbills1:



what proof do you want? do you think I'm a jobless guy that waste hours to compose fake stories to Garner likes? I'm talking about reality and you're saying another thing.
yes, age is the main reason why my mom doesn't want us to get married. I don't know if she harbours other intentions but that's the reason she gave.

My goodness, you are already shacking up with her, you love her, she loves you and you both are financially stable enough to get married. Follow your heart and marry your love just like your mother followed her heart and married your dad. This is so senseless, making a five year age difference the reason why two people shouldn't build a life together. You are only five years apart which makes you both in the same generation.

chihes:
Your right up justifies that. Imagine, you said she has done alot for you, you live in her house, she wants to contribute about 80% of the things required for your wedding..

and so?

I've my own money.

she choosed to do those things by herself

Bro go ahead and marry her if you think she is your kiind of woman.Stop listening to some of this enemies of progress on nairaland,who would jump at the slightest opportunity,if they were in your shoes.Bro know these today that,Nigerians are the greatest hypocrites on earth.Remember when you get married to her,hustle harder so that you can provide for her as well,not just only her providing for both of you.Close your eyes off your to be's wifes wealth and work hard like a street hustler who has nothing to his name.Remember if tomorrow your hustle your way up and become rich,her respect for you will rise to its peak,she will truly be convinced that she indeed made the best decision by marrying you.

khiaa:


My goodness, you are already shacking up with her, you love her, she loves you and you both are financially stable enough to get married. Follow your heart and marry your love just like your mother followed her heart and married your dad. This is so senseless, making a five year age difference the reason why two people shouldn't build a life together. You are only five years apart which makes you both in the same generation.

thanks khiaa

4FACEADELEKE:
Bro go ahead and marry her if you think she is your kiind of woman.Stop listening to some of this enemies of progress on nairaland,who would jump at the slightest opportunity,if they were in your shoes.Bro know these today that,Nigerians are the greatest hypocrites on earth.Remember when you get married to her,hustle harder so that you can provide for her as well,not just only her providing for both of you.Close your eyes off your to be's wifes wealth and work hard like a street hustler who has nothing to his name.Remember if tomorrow your hustle your way up and become rich,her respect for you will rise to its peak,she will truly be convinced that she indeed made the best decision by marrying you.

thanks bro

fancy4eve:
she's got 2 tins ova u, Wich is $ nd age, so tink twice

take your bad advice away.

What I'm reading here is nt making me feel happy.
Is it wrong for the girl he want to marry to be rich
Is all finger created equal
What is the basis of a happy Marriage
Guy if you genuinely luv that lady go ahead and marry her.
Happiness is nt easy to come by.
Stop lestening to story, telling you she will nt respect you. As you hv know now now the things you will face in future to come prepared ur mind toward it and how to deal with the situation if it present it self.

I noticed that there's a type of advice you're actually looking for. You've already adviced yourself and you come here come dey disturb person. Pls I'm at work and you're distracting me. Grabs popcorn

prechbills1:


thanks bro.. your comment is highly appreciated

once again, Thanks.

But don't come back here again looking for another type of advice when you finally become a houseboy!!!

Safiaa:
No. I live in the uk, born and raised and if any man moves into my house with pride I would NEVER respect him. I wouldn’t even date a man who would think of doing that, so that’s different entirely. We could move in together, with you taking up most of the financial bills or I move in to your house. One or the other, and that’s after marriage. Thanks

Hear ye! Hear ye!!

fancy4eve:
Let's get sumtin straight here, wat an elder see siting down, even if u climb d tallest tree, u will not.

my dear I go wit ur mum, we women pretend a lot, a desperado will do all it takes 2 get wat she want, after d marriage u will see her true character. Assuming d reverse is d case, u been rich nd she is not, my dear she will b humble 2 u for d rest of her lyf. Hv seen so many cases dat later end up in divorce all bcus d man does not hv a say in his house nd been use as rag. Pls tink twice b4 going into sumtin u will regret leta.

That first sentence you wrote is total crap. Everyone doesn't grow wise with age. Just because someone is your elder doesn't mean they are without fault or wise. In your mind, what is wrong with the woman he loves? What has she done that makes you feel she is showing him a false character? What makes you think that he won't have a say in their home? One of the reasons that can cause a divorce is problematic, negative, nosey, people meddling in their marriage.

prechbills1:


please I need serious advice. I can't afford to lose her
.not now ,not ever.

Marrying an older lady needs some psychological maturity. You won't realize it now but in the future.

Women generally age faster than men, though genetics have a lot to do with this.

At 24, you are still maturing and still have a long way to go. There will come times you will question your choice, when you will ask yourself why you married her. I am not saying that the marriage will not work.

Why do you wanna marry her?
Her money? She is your benefactor? Do you have a job?

ariesbull:


Your a gold digger
A lazy man
A disgrace to men
For marrying a lady because of money....you should be the one providing


I don't have a problem with age....you can marry her even if she is 5yrs older but I don't think you would marry her and of you marry her you would make a terrible husband because you married for money not for affection....

Get your ass and work ! Small boy

thank you.

zicoraads:
The minute you said this, "I can't leave her because she has done so many things for me..." was when I concluded your mom to be right.

Let's tell ourselves the bitter truth. You don't love her, just what she provides. You don't have a valid reason, just the fact that she provides for you.

I'm sure you already have what to do in mind, so I wish you all the best.

Spot on.

prechbills1:


thanks khiaa

Don't let anyone keep you from the woman that you love and loves you. It's your life to live. You are welcome.

dominique:


Is that reason enough to want to marry her? Because she's footing the bills? Those calling you gold digger and opportunist are not too far off the mark. [b]I saw that you highlighted joining one of the gee b[/b]oys on a post on the first page, I have a feeling that's your current source of income at the moment and you want to marry the older richer lady for financial security and nothing else. Have you sat to think about what becomes of your marriage if she's not as financially buoyant as now? Rushing into a marriage for the sale of financial security is one of the worst mistakes anybody can make be it male or female

@bolded.I didn't highlight that ,someone made that suggestion.

I've my own money and I'm also from a wealthy family.

I want to marry her because I'm a graduate already and I love her.

Thank you for your advice.

I'm now a gold digger?

I think mods should be requesting for permission before pushing topics to homepage.

showafrica:


It's not right for a woman to marry herself. Tell her you will provide everything for the marriage and simply cut your coat but if you don't have what it takes to marry her, guy you are not yet qualified.

what do you mean by marry herself?

stop talking like a kid, if you don't have reasonable comment pls don't comment.

tobianthony:
My brother , and to others viewing this thread ...good day .

I strongly believe you guys are going about this the wrong way . It's not an issue of age difference or financial incentive that concerns me but rather ...the personality of the OP and if he has the tools to survive in a marriage to such a woman .

Ordinarily I am strongly against the idea of marriage where the man is not an alpha male who uses his " frame " to control the relationship . I strongly believe that the only reason one should marry is only for legal convenience and children .

So to the OP may I ask a couple of questions ? What is your relationship with this woman like ?

Who is more dominant most of the times in this relationship ? ( I say most of the times because dominance shifts subconsciously or otherwise ).

The fact that you have to bring this to this forum ...tells me that you are severally lacking in the relationship mental department but don't worry you are not alone .

You as a man there are certain things you must constantly exhibit in your relationships and that is covert and overt control ( frame ) .

Truth be told if you have a beta mindset as against an alpha mindset do not go into marriage . Not saying it won't work . Just saying you won't know how to handle issues . Which could lead to regret .

I've been with women older than me before ...and it's no different . You are the only constant factor here . At age 24 what are you getting married for tho ? What have you achieved in life ?

I clearly see you are suffering from " onenitis " ...she is the one syndrome . These are all signs of a beta mindset ...

If you think I'm wrong ...go read up on the red pill theory .

Read the book ' the great female con ' .

Read www.therationalemale.com ... The teachings of Rollo tomassi .

Unplug yourself from the matrix of social convention .

All the best .

Add to OP's pre-marriage literature the classic titled; The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar.

Regards.

Hey guys, I have read many comments and I think some comments were not made after a deep examination of this young man's situation.
That been said, bro I see that you guys have been together for 3years, both parents were aware of your relationship and your mom didn't oppose you moving in with this lady. Also I know at some instances the lady would have bought stuffs for your parent which were appreciated and taken...
If your mom has an ill feeling about you settling with her, ask your dad to speak with her and enquire why she was om with the relationship but not marriage. It might not be your lady's age that she is worried about, but yours and your maturity. Get the facts before concluding what it is for sure bro.
Also, what do you see in her that makes you want to marry her, regardless of who suggested the idea between you?
If this lady wasn't rich, or live in her own house, would you still love her and want to settle with her despite her been 5years older?
Then, are you financially ok enough and emotional ready to give her the good life she is use to say she suddenly becomes broke and loose her house, I mean is your income good enough to take care of a family without her massive support just in case.
Lastly, marriage is an eyes opener bro, be sure you love her enough to marry her and stay married come what may.
Thanks

khiaa:


My goodness, you are already shacking up with her, you love her, she loves you and you both are financially stable enough to get married. Follow your heart and marry your love just like your mother followed her heart and married your dad. This is so senseless, making a five year age difference the reason why two people shouldn't build a life together. You are only five years apart which makes you both in the same generation.

California, USA.

I understand.

Austinoiz:


Hear this..."I'd have liked to go on with marriage but I don't think going ahead without both parents blessing is sensible.... "
Also hear this, "...the truth I love her and I can't afford to loose her now because of my mum's wish.."
My 24yr-old kid friend, I think you know the game of fictions very well or perhaps the much your age can come up with.
Who do you want to buy into this your elementary make-believe? Certainly not me. So go get yourself busy with more fictions, may be you can come up with better convincing lines next time.

the only advice I came here to seek is; is it sensible if I go on without my mom's blessing? because I've made up my mind.

thanks for your comment anyways.

highly appreciated.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN;
Please next time don't move my post to home page without permission, because instead of the advice I seek some people are trying to mock me in a sarcastic way.

ariesbull:


Your a gold digger
A lazy man
A disgrace to men
For marrying a lady because of money....you should be the one providing


I don't have a problem with age....you can marry her even if she is 5yrs older but I don't think you would marry her and of you marry her you would make a terrible husband because you married for money not for affection....

Get your ass and work ! Small boy

I read the op's story twice and I was looking for what gave you the idea that he's a gold digger, I can't find it. if he was after her money I don't think he would give a damn about what his mother says or her feelings, he would have married her long ago. He said how much he loves her yet you claim he has no affection for her.SMDH.

4C2215131:


California, USA.

I understand.

hmm,,, khiaa are you residing in the states?

[center][/center]

4C2215131:


California, USA.

I understand.

Good, maybe there is a peon of wisdom in you.