KnowAll:

That is why it is good to embrace the African traditional matrimonial arrangement, when the older wife gets all grey and elderly, f**king such a motherly woman who has probably pass her menopause is an abomination in some cultures[/size](the thought of it makes me want to puke ooopps ), [size=14pt]hence the husband taken a more younger, virile and active woman as a wife, this lady would comfort the man in every way and manner.

The elderly wife’s role would be as a custodian of the home, the mother of the home, in some rather interesting arrangement she is seen as the de-facto mother of both the husband and the younger wife. This role reversal is an accepted and practicable norm in many traditional Yoruba families.

I am still struggling to convince my wife the reason why a younger woman would be an advantage to both of us especially when I get to the golden ripe age of 60.

oyinda.:


You are retarded!!! do u think only men notice aging in their partners!!? you think women don't notice the balding heads and potbellies of ugliness of their aging husbands? or only men have the right to be unhappy with it? why shouldn't women be able to go look for younger men if their husbands have become senile?
and do u think the young girls who do follow these old ugly men are doing it because they like his grandpa looks? mtchew and then when the young women marry a man for his money, you guys complain and say she's a gold digger, she's waiting for the old man to die to get his money.what else do u think a young girl would want in an old ugly grandpa?

african tradition ko, iranian tradition ni. the day america adopts that backward sexist practice called polygamy will be the day the world comes to an end.

Afam:

Firing from all cylinders there!

@topic,

The funny thing is that many people think about a lot things when it comes to intimacy from fantasies to experiments than they would ever want to admit or divulge. Put differently, intimacy is something that is on a lot of peoples' minds but at the same time would not want to talk about it unless they are in the midst of others where any form of inhibitions must have been reduced to the barest minimum.

Call it sycophancy or hypocrisy if you like but beware of those that talk and behave as if they don't like talking or getting involved in intimacy, they are usually the undisputed tigers in the room kpakpa.

oyinda.:

no one said it's not normal to think about it. thinking and doing are not the same thing!!!! people who can't restrict themselves are people who have no sense of disciple or control that's my point!!

for example, do you have the opportunity to have intimacy everytime you think of it? so what do u do when u think of it but there is no girl around? you control your urges right?
do u have the discipline to control it even when there is a girl around? i'm refering to ppl without any sense of discipline. those who feel it's their "manly natural right" to sleep around.

to me, that's just like stealing. yea everyone covets and thinks about good things of life. but does that give us the right to go and steal it if we don't have it?

that's a trait of greediness and laziness to me.

Afam:

I am glad you agree that a lot of people think about it and many if given the opportunity will effortlessly do it.

So, that it is not common (the act itself) has more to do with availability and opportunity and not self control as you might think.

Yes, there are people who get intimacy whenever they want it trust me and the issue of whether this is proper or not is another matter entirely.

oyinda.:


You are retarded!!! do u think only men notice aging in their partners!!? you think women don't notice the balding heads and potbellies of ugliness of their aging husbands? or only men have the right to be unhappy with it? why shouldn't women be able to go look for younger men if their husbands have become senile?
and do u think the young girls who do follow these old ugly men are doing it because they like his grandpa looks? mtchew and then when the young women marry a man for his money, you guys complain and say she's a gold digger, she's waiting for the old man to die to get his money.what else do u think a young girl would want in an old ugly grandpa?

african tradition ko, iranian tradition ni. the day america adopts that backward sexist practice called polygamy will be the day the world comes to an end.

favouredjb:

Marriage means nothing to some ppl again esp in the western world

y divorce after 40 yrs?its insane

oyinda.:

NO i did not say they will effortlessly do it!! I said the ones who lack discipline and self control will.
if men are told from birth that sleeping around is their right, they will not have the motivation to build the discipline and self control.
women have the self control because we are told from birth that if we do, we will be called sluts and love-peddlers. the same teaching is not taught to men so they feel that it's normal for them.

oyinda.:

for example, when u go to the store and don't have money to buy a nice wristwatch, do you walk away or go and steal money to buy it? depends on your level of discipline or how you were raised!!

oyinda.:

the people who get intimacy whenever they want to me are like criminals who go around looting and stealing. it is definitely not proper. and the fact that you question if it is proper or not makes me believe you are one of those men!!!

oyinda.:

NO i did not say they will effortlessly do it!! I said the ones who lack discipline and self control will.
if men are told from birth that sleeping around is their right, they will not have the motivation to build the discipline and self control.
women have the self control because we are told from birth that if we do, we will be called sluts and love-peddlers. the same teaching is not taught to men so they feel that it's normal for them.

for example, when u go to the store and don't have money to buy a nice wristwatch, do you walk away or go and steal money to buy it? depends on your level of discipline or how you were raised!!

the people who get intimacy whenever they want to me are like criminals who go around looting and stealing. it is definitely not proper. and the fact that you question if it is proper or not makes me believe you are one of those men!!!
i have these questions for you
-at 60-70 years, between a man and a woman who still have libidio for sex
-if a man and a woman have sex, who bears the mark of the act i.e pregnancy, flatten boobs e.t.c
-what is proper, for strangers-a man telling a woman i need f.uck or woman telling man I need f.cuk
-who between man and women needs to be taken off as in materials needs
please just be patient and truthful in your answers

Afam:


Wrist watch is not intimacy so the analogy does not apply.

I know for a fact that some women if given the chance would claim they have never seen a unclothed man even if they already have 2 or 3 kids.

Now, as to whether I am one of those men my response to you is this - intimacy is not a crime as long as it is not despoil and it is between adults without any partner taking advantage of the other in any way it is ok.

chiozor:

@oyinda
at 60-70 years, between a man and a woman who still have libidio for intimacy
-if a man and a woman have intimacy, who bears the mark of the act i.e pregnancy, flatten bosoms e.t.c
-what is proper, for strangers-a man telling a woman i need bleed or woman telling man I need f.cuk
-who between man and women needs to be taken off as in materials needs
please just be patient and truthful in your answers

oyinda.:


You are retarded!!! do u think only men notice aging in their partners!!? you think women don't notice the balding heads and potbellies of ugliness of their aging husbands? or only men have the right to be unhappy with it? why shouldn't women be able to go look for younger men if their husbands have become senile?
and do u think the young girls who do follow these old ugly men are doing it because they like his grandpa looks? mtchew and then when the young women marry a man for his money, you guys complain and say she's a gold digger, she's waiting for the old man to die to get his money.what else do u think a young girl would want in an old ugly grandpa?

african tradition ko, iranian tradition ni. the day america adopts that backward sexist practice called polygamy will be the day the world comes to an end.

chiozor:

@oyinda
at 60-70 years, between a man and a woman who still have libidio for intimacy
-if a man and a woman have intimacy, who bears the mark of the act i.e pregnancy, flatten bosoms e.t.c
-what is proper,  for strangers-a man telling a woman i need bleed or woman telling man I need f.cuk
-who between man and women needs to be taken off as in materials needs
please just be patient and truthful in your answers

stillwater:

Calling a spade a spade on indiscipline and lack of self control is now being seen as acting 'holier than thou' as someone said. The crap you read these days.

oyinda.:


yea wrist watch is not intimacy. but u get the same satisfaction from getting them. ok let's say car instead of wristwatch. i'm sure many men will agree to get a car in place of having intimacy for a week. you will ultimately get a satisfaction from it.

that's why infidelity is called "CHEATING"
if you know you are one of those guys who feel the need to have intimacy with every woman, then don't get married or lie to a girl that you are her boyfriend!!!
same with being materialistic. If you have the money to buy the wristwatch/car whatever, then you can splurge and buy as many as you want. as long as u are not stealing from someone to satiate your greed!!!

what do you think about monks? i know that's an extreme case. but what's your opinion? are they "holier than thou" people who are trying to please everyone?

Afam:

Monks? They made choices which I respect even though just like every other thing in life some of them would still engage in intimacy if they have the opportunity. We have reverend fathers impregnating girls, sisters who are in seminary schools getting pregnant, choir masters sleeping with female members of the choir and even pastors doing same with women members of the church.

Now, there will be no end in sight on this issue because people see things differently.

What you call infidelity may not be infidelity to another. Christianity is about 1 man 1 wife but Islam allows a man to marry up to 4 wives.

Lastly, there are people who are more open with their intimacy lives than others and these people do not see what you see just as you do not see what they see.

oyinda.:

yea I agree not all monks are holy. just as not all reverend fathers etc.  but i'm glad u said "SOME" not all.
which means that those some have no self control or discipline and shouldn't be in the position they are.

i don't think it's infidelity to have 4 wives. infidelity is when you cheat on your 4 wives with a 5th woman. i'm sure islam does not support infidelity.
marrying 4 wives is called polygamy not infidelity. both are wrong anyways.

those people who are open with their intimacy lives, as long as they marry someone who is ok with it. ex. people in open marriages such as will smith, hugh hefner of playboy mansion etc to me, that's fine. I don't support it but they are not committing a crime.
but lying to your wife and cheating on her back to me is VERY WRONG.

Afam:

Hypocrisy on display here. My comments and statements reflect reality where as people like you state things you even know are lies just to feel good with yourself.

Today we have single parents everywhere, marriage breakups everywhere and both married men and women are engaging in all sorts of escapades and you pretend this is not happening?

I am not a pretender like you so tell a kid what you have in mind, certainly not me.

If you are ignorant about intimacy make it clear but don't come here and talk as if you know a thing or two about it when your comments show otherwise.

Afam:

Ok, polygamy is wrong? You see my point, to you it is wrong to others it is not.

I guess your last paragraph cleared a lot of things up so I now understand where you are coming from.

Of course lying about intimacy is wrong, just needed to let you know that there are people who don't lie about it, have multiple intimacy partners, do wife swapping, engage in group intimacy with the full knowledge of their partners who enjoy or look forward to such things.

My point here is that we must be willing to accept the fact that not everyone is tied to the 1 man 1 woman till death mantra.

Yeah, I agree with you no cheating.  

OAM4J:

The more people drop the knowledge of God and his word, and the more a lot of pastors, religious leaders and influential people divorce their partners, the higher the rate of divorce goes.

OAM4J:

Al Gore and Tipper have just given courage to many other marriages going through challenges to consider the option of divorce

OAM4J:

I also want to say that many people marry cos of societal pressure and cos it is a sin to have intimacy outside marriage, and the highest cause of divorce is infidelity.