It never made sense and will never make sense. The best we can do is smile for the cameras and wait for the divorce from man or God!

CHoccolaTE:
Marriage is a scam to take advantage of women. I have been saying this on Nairaland for years, see this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1265450/why-men-think-womens-lives#15355649

How can society expect women to be breadwinners like their husbands and at the same time be subjected to the husband's authority and and obey him and even bear his name as if her father that raised her his own name is useless. Big scam.
If a woman starts taking care of her husband financially then they are now equal partners but Nigerian men will never agree.
They want a housemaid and baby machine and ATM
They want a woman that will ignore their cheating and pray for them
Some sef don't lift hand to do housework at all but would go berserk if their wives decide to leave job of breadwinning to them.

Let marriage go obsolete, it's better for women.
If only men can stop shaming spinsters that are old and unmarried maybe more people will be more comfortable with the idea that marriage isn't a do or die affair

I wish i could tap "like" 100 times.

Elder0001:


Women need marriage more than men need marriage.

Women gain more from marriage.

Not anymore.

Women are burdened with a lot of responsibility in marriage while the guy just sits back and controls.

She is expected to do the chores, take care of the children and still contribute financially(sometimes even more) but the guy still wants that authority...control...submission...final say. And you say women benefit more?

Many women are just staying for one reason or the other. If they had their way, they would leave with their children instead of adding a big baby to their burden especially one that is not of any tangible or visible assistance to her and the family.

ImaIma1:


Not anymore.

Women are burdened with a lot of responsibility in marriage while the guy just sits back and controls.

She is expected to do the chores, take care of the children and still contribute financially(sometimes even more) but the guy still wants that authority...control...submission...final say. And you say women benefit more?

Many women are just staying for one reason or the other. If they had their way, they would leave with their children instead of adding a big baby to their burden especially one that is not of any tangible or visible assistance to her and the family.

if these are your reasons to back up ur first statement, then you are absolutely wrong with first statement.


women, nowadays, don't care about all those things u typed up there. all they want is being a woman to be tagged as"married" (Mrs).

ur points were what feminists capitalized on when the revolution started. now, they are repenting. seems u don't know how many then-feminists are married lately.

ImaIma1:


Not anymore.

Women are burdened with a lot of responsibility in marriage while the guy just sits back and controls.

She is expected to do the chores, take care of the children and still contribute financially(sometimes even more) but the guy still wants that authority...control...submission...final say. And you say women benefit more?

Many women are just staying for one reason or the other. If they had their way, they would leave with their children instead of adding a big baby to their burden especially one that is not of any tangible or visible assistance to her and the family.

I fully agree.
Its just so horrifying the crap many women have to tolerate to stay peacefully married.
In many homes the wives are the ones supporting the family financially either because the husband earns far less than her or because the husband is facing financial difficulties but they don't go outside to complain about it, the wife keeps silent and bears her cross so that people will not accuse her of being arrogant and insulting her husband. But let a man be only one supporting the home financially, that is when you see them disrespecting their wives because they think she is just sitting at home and getting fat on their hard earned money. Some will even start openly cheating on her as if the cooking, housekeeping and childcare she is doing is not a full time job on its own.
Men are typically not encouraged to fight to keep the home in one peace even if they are the so called leaders, the general consensus in a backward shithole like Nigeria is that the woman is the homebuilder.

dominique:


I don't know who this Vilar is, whoever she is, she has a right to her opinion.

Saying that women are more advantaged in marriages in Nigeria is laughable and incredulous. While growing up, an average Nigerian female is being raised to conduct herself in ways that will be acceptable in her "husband's house. Are boys raised same way? Has any boy ever been told to act or not to act in a certain way because of his future wife? If this is not a sign that one party is going into marriages to please the other, I don't know what is.
A distressed woman will come online to post that her husband has been cheating on her. What kind of replies will you see? Keep praying, cook his favourite meals, satisfy him sexually etc. Let a man come and post same, will you see same replies? Send her back to her father's house will be the common anthem.
She gets beaten up by her husband, then she's at fault, she was not submissive enough, she must have used her sharp tongue to provoke him etc
One came to post that her husband raped a minor and his family is begging her not to expose him. Of course she was advised to keep shut and keep praying for the paedophile because a wise woman keeps her marriage no matter what.
So many bullshit a lot of Nigerian women has to stomach in the name of keeping a marriage yet you say they gain more?

Beautiful post.

MrNipplesLover:



if these are your reasons to back up ur first statement, then you are absolutely wrong with first statement.


women, nowadays, don't care about all those things u typed up there. all they want is being a woman to be tagged as"married" (Mrs).

ur points were what feminists capitalized on when the revolution started. now, they are repenting. seems u don't know how many then-feminists are married lately.

Who told you women do not care about this? You think it is easy to carry the family financially and do all the domestic and children wahala? Who cares about "Mrs" now. More and more women want peace of mind and genuine love and care if they can find it.

One of my babes is at the verge of leaving her husband. Her family all round have told her that they will support whatever she decides. People are no more close minded and bent on "stay for the sake of the children"..."stay and build your home". If the guy is not living up, move on.

Elder0001:

There's sense in every nonsense.

Do you believe the bull crap you posted?
Lots of danfo drivers, it their wives that take loans from their akara selling cooperatives or market cooperatives to buy the buses for them
Should we talk of how female petty trader basically have to bring home food from their shops, in addition to making profit and repaying debts that they took to support their families?
If you think men are the only ones paying fees then you must be dafter than you sound.
95% percent of Nigerian men are a nightmare to be married to
Egoistical, poorly trained, lazy, entitled, morally bankrupt lost souls
We see them here on NL every second, see how one opened a thread to glorify himself and his cohorts are trumpeting and bowing in agreement
Luckily, some of us marry the very rare 5%, who understand that marriage is a union of two loving hearts, who unite to conquer, grow and produce children that spread love and peace to the world.
Nigerian women are understanding the scam that marriage is to them, where they work hard and one man claims all their property in the guise of "I own you". That is why they have decided to focus less on marriage and sucking you lots dry. Basically in retaliation for the hell your fathers put our mothers through.

CHoccolaTE:

I fully agree.
Its just so horrifying the crap many women have to tolerate to stay peacefully married.
In many homes the wives are the ones supporting the family financially either because the husband earns far less than her or because the husband is facing financial difficulties but they don't go outside to complain about it, the wife keeps silent and bears her cross so that people will not accuse her of being arrogant and insulting her husband. But let a man be only one supporting the home financially, that is when you see them disrespecting their wives because they think she is just sitting at home and getting fat on their hard earned money. Some will even start openly cheating on her as if the cooking, housekeeping and childcare she is doing is not a full time job on its own.
Men are typically not encouraged to fight to keep the home in one peace even if they are the so called leaders, the general consensus in a backward shithole like Nigeria is that the woman is the homebuilder.

It is those women who are made to feel like their husbands did them a favour by marrying them and they have to do everything to "keep" him. That is the problem.

Plus as you pointed out, the general idea is that women are the ones who make the home. So...apologize even when he is wrong for peace to reign...turn a blind eye when he cheats and still open your legs for him not considering the possibility of STDs...still for peace to reign.

How does this in any way make a woman benefit more?

CHoccolaTE:
Marriage is a scam to take advantage of women. I have been saying this on Nairaland for years, see this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1265450/why-men-think-womens-lives#15355649

How can society expect women to be breadwinners like their husbands and at the same time be subjected to the husband's authority and and obey him and even bear his name as if her father that raised her his own name is useless. Big scam.
If a woman starts taking care of her husband financially then they are now equal partners but Nigerian men will never agree.
They want a housemaid and baby machine and ATM
They want a woman that will ignore their cheating and pray for them
Some sef don't lift hand to do housework at all but would go berserk if their wives decide to leave job of breadwinning to them.

Let marriage go obsolete, it's better for women.
If only men can stop shaming spinsters that are old and unmarried maybe more people will be more comfortable with the idea that marriage isn't a do or die affair

Are you married?

If "No" would you like to get married someday?

Elder0001:



Trust me ,Nigerian women take all those bullshît because of what they gain from marriage.
Ask yourself why women don't leave abusive ,cheating and paedophilia partners?
It's not necessarily because of what people say but because of what they tend to gain from the marriage and what they'll lose if they leave.

The average man is trained right from his youth to be the saviour of the woman , physically, spiritually and financially . Men are advised to be this and that before entering into marriage but the only things women are told is to be beautiful and respectful ,am I from another planet?

You keep saying that women gain.

What exactly do they gain? You have not mentioned it.

ImaIma1:


Who told you women do not care about this? You think it is easy to carry the family financially and do all the domestic and children wahala? Who cares about "Mrs" now. More and more women want peace of mind and genuine love and care if they can find it.

One of my babes is at the verge of leaving her husband. Her family all round have told her that they will support whatever she decides.




**People are no more close minded and bent on "stay for the sake of the children"..."stay and build your home". If the guy is not living up, move on**

u funny.

why I say u funny is cos u keep hitting on domestic responsibilities... cos if this is still ur reason, u are not defending it rightly.

u should not forget that all women were trained from home to be a good domestic and culinary handler for the future (matrimony)... so if u keep lamenting on house chores and children wahala, I'm not buying it.

for that one leaving her husband, perhaps she didn't choose wisely. cos if a woman had chosen the right man for herself, there won't be any reason for leaving. except she wanna be a wayward woman, by choice.




on ur last statement (that I starred):

I agree with u on that. some homes are not happy, or going well. but once a child in involved, then something must be considered.
but, that doesn't change the fact that lots of women out there are looking for a man to have as their MR, while they are MRS.

still, to me, marriage is all bullshit cos of what we are having now. the future of marriage would be undesirable. one of the reasons is ur stance

Brazenbabe:


In your little mind you think being a feminist equals being anti-marriage

in my broad mind, feminists tend, or have the tendencies of being an anti-marriage.

MrNipplesLover:






u funny.

why I say u funny is cos u keep hitting on domestic responsibilities... cos if this is still ur reason, u are not defending it rightly.

u should not forget that all women were trained from home to be a good domestic and culinary handler for the future (matrimony)... so if u keep lamenting on house chores and children wahala, I'm not buying it.

for that one leaving her husband, perhaps she didn't choose wisely. cos if a woman had chosen the right man for her, there won't be any reason for leaving. except she wanna be a wayward woman, by choice.




on ur last statement (that I starred):

I agree with u on that. some homes are not happy, or going well. but once a child in involved, then something must be considered.
but, that doesn't change the fact that lots of women out there are looking for a man to have as their MR, while they are MRS.

still, to me, marriage is all bullshit cos of what we are having now. the future of marriage would be undesirable. one of the reasons is ur stance

Even if you believe we were trained to cook, clean and take care of kids, i am sorry to be the one to break this to you...but it is still heavy load and stress and something that is done with time and energy. Besides, who said domestic responsibilities are reserved for women alone?

And what about the financial aspect? You conveniently left that part out.

Men are also looking for women to wife also...it is not peculiar to women.

ImaIma1:


It is those women who are made to feel like their husbands did them a favour by marrying them and they have to do everything to "keep" him. That is the problem.

Plus as you pointed out, the general idea is that women are the ones who make the home. So...apologize even when he is wrong for peace to reign...turn a blind eye when he cheats and still open your legs for him not considering the possibility of STDs...still for peace to reign.

How does this in any way make a woman benefit more?

Women don't benefit more, its just a silly lie peddled around to make more women crave marriage and put up with bullshit treatment to keep the marriage.

Take childbearing for instance, a woman sacrifices her body and health and rest and sleep to bear kids and take care of them, in gross majority of cases she also provides for them along with the father and in cases where the dad is deadbeat or poorer than the mum or even passed on, she provides more for that child but guess what? After all that sacrifice the child still traditionally belongs to the husband's family, bears his name and everything.

Look at men these days telling women to be independent and not depend on husband for anything but they will not advocate for women to stop answering her husband's name since he is no longer providing for her.
Even the ones that husband is not currently providing for still have to bear husbands name like indentured dependant. Where is the benefit?

ImaIma1:


Even if you believe we were trained to cook, clean and take care of kids, i am sorry to be the one to break this to you...but it is still heavy load and stress and something that is done with time and energy. Besides, who said domestic responsibilities are reserved for women alone?

And what about the financial aspect? You conveniently left that part out.

Men are also looking for women to wife also...it is not peculiar to women.

I left the financial part aside cos generally, men should be responsible for the financial provisions. but u made it sound as if women are the ones mandated for it.
if as a woman, u are being financially burdened in ur home, it shows that ur man is lacking it which u are taking the responsibilities. it also shows that u understand the financial challenges ur husband is facing which is why u volunteer to assist. so, that should not be attached to women complains.


and yes, we are all looking for whom to marry (both man and woman). I agree.

but, when we look at age effects, men don't care to marry at 50, but no woman wanna hit 40 (40 is even much) before getting d ring on it. which causes d desperations in women... is this lie too?

Acidosis:


Are you married?

If "No" would you like to get married someday?

I can't answer that, sorry.
If I say I am married some disgruntled Nairalander may jump on that to attack my posts and label me bad wife and if I say I am unmarried the next thing I will start hearing is that I am a bitter man hating spinster.

I want people to read my posts and see the message in them instead of writing them off because of silly stereotypes.

CHoccolaTE:


I can't answer that, sorry.
If I say I am married some disgruntled Nairalander may jump on that to attack my posts and label me bad wife and if I say I am unmarried the next thing I will start hearing is that I am a bitter man hating spinster.

I want people to read my posts and see the message in them instead of writing them off because of silly stereotypes.

hmmm, nice points.

oil dey ur pussy

MrNipplesLover:


hmmm, nice points.
oil dey ur pussy

So you are Acidosis?

@TonieLee, what's your take on this?

CHoccolaTE:

So you are Acidosis?

madam, wetin na
if a guy makes a sensible comment, we say "oil dey ur head"
so, since u be woman, that's how I can hail u.

MrNipplesLover:



I left the financial part aside cos generally, men should be responsible for the financial provisions. but u made it sound as if women are the ones mandated for it.
if as a woman, u are being financially burdened in ur home, it shows that ur man is lacking it which u are taking the responsibilities. it also shows that u understand the financial challenges ur husband is facing which is why u volunteer to assist. so, that should not be attached to women complains.


and yes, we are all looking for whom to marry (both man and woman). I agree.

but, when we look at age effects, men don't care to marry at 50, but no woman wanna hit 40 (40 is even much) before getting d ring on it. which causes d desperations in women... is this lie too?

Times have changed. A woman can be unmarried at 50 and adopt a baby. A lot of priorities have changed people live their lives to be happy with or without a spouse.

ImaIma1:


Times have changed. A woman can be unmarried at 50 and adopt a baby. A lot of priorities have changed people live their lives to be happy with or without a spouse.

what does she gain in life if she's nurturing a child that doesn't belong to her?

I'm sure you can never advice ur female cousins or relatives to do that.

this shows that some women who have the same mentality as urs are reasons things are not working fine for marriage... cos they have believed that child can be adopted which is why they don't even need the marriage or father of their babies...

u are right that a lot of things have changed. people just wanna live to please themselves now. some don't even wanna take or have any responsibility if it is not personal.

still why marriage is bullshit nowadays cos alot OT things have changed as u pointed out.

and what I'm seeing in the future of marriage is undesirable and a lot of shiiit awaits us.

mark my word, prostitution and fornication will be more considered than marriage in the soonest future... this is all I have foreseen so far. most of us (excluding me) are still pretending not to be fornicating, or womanizing in the section of men... in the women section, a lot of women are still pretending and hiding that they are cheating on their men and codedly prostituting. but soonest, the world won't care anymore. though, we can still see it happening now.


so, my sister, we all have our opinions on marriage.

MrNipplesLover:



what does she gain in life if she's nurturing a child that doesn't belong to her?

I'm sure you can never advice ur female cousins or relatives to do that.

this shows that some women who have the same mentality as urs are reasons things are not working fine for marriage... cos they have believed that child can be adopted which is why they don't even need the marriage or father of their babies...

u are right that a lot of things have changed. people just wanna live to please themselves now. some don't even wanna take or have any responsibility if it is not personal.

still why marriage is bullshit nowadays cos alot OT things have changed as u pointed out.

and what I'm seeing in the future of marriage is undesirable and a lot of shiiit awaits us.

mark my word, prostitution and fornication will be more considered than marriage in the soonest future... this is all I have foreseen so far. most of us (excluding me) are still pretending not to be fornicating, or womanizing in the section of men... in the women section, a lot of women are still pretending and hiding that they are cheating on their men and codedly prostituting. but soonest, the world won't care anymore. though, we can still see it happening now.


so, my sister, we all have our opinions on marriage.

It is not a mentality but a reality. I am talking based on things that are happening. Two of my sister's friends have one child each...adopted as babies. My aunty is in her 50s and is divorced. She has a daughter who should be 10yrs old...she adopted her.

My friend that i saw when she was pregnant actually adopted her baby(i got to discover that she didn't actually give birth but adopted a baby). And these children will be loved like their biological kids.

Situations have made people seek other alternatives to be happy. At least there is nothing wrong with adopting a child legally. You are even doing a great thing foe the society.

I like marriage and still believe in it (at least i am enjoying mine) but if someone feels life threatened or depressed in a marriage, i won't despise the person's decision to leave.

From religious point of view marriage was instituted by God. Does a clay pot dare argue with its maker?

ImaIma1:


It is not a mentality but a reality. I am talking based on things that are happening. Two of my sister's friends have one child each...adopted as babies. My aunty is in her 50s and is divorced. She has a daughter who should be 10yrs old...she adopted her.

My friend that i saw when she was pregnant actually adopted her baby(i got to discover that she didn't actually give birth but adopted a baby). And these children will be loved like their biological kids.

Situations have made people seek other alternatives to be happy. At least there is nothing wrong with adopting a child legally. You are even doing a great thing foe the society.

I like marriage and still believe in it (at least i am enjoying mine) but if someone feels life threatened or depressed in a marriage, i won't despise the person's decision to leave.

neither will I deplore any woman who feels unsatisfied in marriage and decides to leave for her own known reasons too. cos I am already aware some marriages are not working fine. that's why I said " it is all bullshit nowadays."


well, everybody knows what's good for them. so anything anyone decides to do, we let em do it. so far they are standing to be responsible for their decisions.



stay blessed.

ImaIma1:


Not anymore.

Women are burdened with a lot of responsibility in marriage while the guy just sits back and controls.

She is expected to do the chores, take care of the children and still contribute financially(sometimes even more) but the guy still wants that authority...control...submission...final say. And you say women benefit more?

Many women are just staying for one reason or the other. If they had their way, they would leave with their children instead of adding a big baby to their burden especially one that is not of any tangible or visible assistance to her and the family.

In majority of cases it is also the woman who has to take care of her husband in old age as wives tend to be younger and men tend to die earlier.

GuntersChain:
From religious point of view marriage was instituted by God. Does a clay pot dare argue with its maker?

The God of which religion?

GuntersChain:
From religious point of view marriage was instituted by God. Does a clay pot dare argue with its maker?

my brother, the world is gradually ignoring the religious statements...

when the feminism stuff became rampant, I was like "what that fvvck is wrong with our women?" so as homosexuality.

feminism and homosexuality are against religious doctrines. that alone shows that the world is becoming bullshit...

I just thank God that I am a male. if women decide today that no more marriage or wife for us (men) that means na to dey fvvck dey go be that. make I just dey enjoy more pussies as women no go care to do that anymore....

Mindfulness:

The God of which religion?

oga, God does not have religion.

CHoccolaTE:


Women don't benefit more, its just a silly lie peddled around to make more women crave marriage and put up with bullshit treatment to keep the marriage.

Take childbearing for instance, a woman sacrifices her body and health and rest and sleep to bear kids and take care of them, in gross majority of cases she also provides for them along with the father and in cases where the dad is deadbeat or poorer than the mum or even passed on, she provides more for that child but guess what? After all that sacrifice the child still traditionally belongs to the husband's family, bears his name and everything.

Look at men these days telling women to be independent and not depend on husband for anything but they will not advocate for women to stop answering her husband's name since he is no longer providing for her.
Even the ones that husband is not currently providing for still have to bear husbands name like indentured dependant. Where is the benefit?

Exactly! And if women choose not to conform they will call them all sorts of names, which also shows how much they need women to want marriage, which actually they want.