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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? (11574 Views)
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Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Seahawk: 4:48pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
Thank you They all know this. That’s why they shame single women into marriage instead of letting them decide if that want to get married or not. They have no other tool to disprove to women that marriage is more beneficial to men than women, Hence the act of shaming dominique: 4 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Seahawk: 4:51pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
Oh please knock it off with the almost childish personal innuendos. Mtchew Acidosis: 1 Like |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Acidosis(m): 4:59pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
Seahawk:Shut the fck up, Coco! 2 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Tinamoore(f): 5:25pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
From my personal experience, I will say yes Marriage still makes sense when its with a compatible and nice person. The emotional & psychological needs coupled with companionship offered in marriage is second to none.there is a deep bond between couples which cannot be experienced outside marriage( my personal opinion).hence my opinion that marriage still makes sense.it all depends on the kind of person the marriage is entered with. But a marriage that makes sense may loose its flavour and head to either separation or divorce when a partner changes completely from what he/ she used to be. There is an adage in my place that says" marriage is like a parcel, you only get to know what's inside when you open it". I have come to believe this adage so much.at times, despite several years of courtship and studying our spouse to be , we may end up seeing a different package either immediately or some years into the marriage. Some people argued on this thread about who benefits more in a marriage.I don't believe any gender benefits more.marriage is a symbiotic relationship. Both genders benefit and compliment each other.The issue of who benefits more springs up when one party is trying to play smart/wise. 4 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by TonieLee(f): 5:31pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
Personally I don't want to get married, I want a permanent boyfriend but then fornication is a sin and I seriously want to make heaven. I'll consider marriage when I find a guy who is willing to sign prenup. 3 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by MrNipplesLover(m): 7:32pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
TonieLee: u mean u don't wanna get married? I guess past experiences... right? |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Nobody: 9:32pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
TonieLee: All sane and educated men want prenup. Only fools go into marriage with women without prenup these days. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Nobody: 9:34pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
Seahawk: Men and women who shame single mothers the most? It is fellow women who shame single mothers and unmarried ladies the most. 2 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Khonifer: 10:54pm On Oct 08, 2018 |
Elder0001: Lies from the pit of hell |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by DonTim1: 3:47am On Oct 09, 2018 |
Doughboysss: |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Mujtahida: 6:35am On Oct 09, 2018 |
Elder0001:I put mine at fifty years. Yours is even shorter. |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by CHoccolaTE: 3:31pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
Acidosis:Yawn. Ogbeni, I will not say whether I am married or not. Write all the epistles you like. 2 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Acidosis(m): 3:39pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
Tinamoore: I hope CHoccolaTE and her "co-sisters" can learn a thing from this. After wasting so many years dating and courting useless playboys, they retire online to tell us why we should boycott marriage. Aunty CHoccolaTE, your bad and bitter experience is not enough to conceptualize marriage, okay? Learn from your experience and move on. @CHoccolaTE, Aunty, have you ever heard the quote "family is everything"? What's the foundation of family? baby mama or hoe-ism? Go and ponder on the above question and come back with a sensible response. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by MrNipplesLover(m): 3:41pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by CHoccolaTE: 5:02pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
Acidosis: So I can't be fighting for my fellow sisters who are have their ambitions and dreams cut short and are being taken advantage of in the name of marriage? It has to be about me and your imaginary bitter experiences. Lmao Boda Acidosis, so women who are widows or who got divorced cannot form a family with their kids? A man must be in the picture taking advantage of her for the family to be complete? Ehn Boda acidosis? What of men who are widows and decided not to remarry? They cannot have a family with their kids? Single parents still have uncles and aunties and cousins and siblings that are also families. These familial ties will continue to exist without marriage. Lmao, no be only go and ponder, you go fear instructions. Boda, the foundation of family isn't irresponsible men everywhere that cheat on their wives and ask for prayers and understanding from her. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by MrNipplesLover(m): 5:24pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
Let Us all Cheat And Have Peace Of Mind, abeg. una wahala self too much. |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Baltazarcus(m): 8:20pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
olatuneji: hey, how can I get my hands on the book u mentioned "the manipulated man" I really wanna read it. Do u have the soft copy pls send to this email phikisi4real@yahoo.com. Or the link to download it. Thanks |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by JoannaSedley(f): 5:04am On Oct 10, 2018 |
Marriage never made sense to me. I would've preferred a business contract where both parties will agree and sign a contract of what is expected of them before witnesses. All this submission and obedience nuances is so illogical and untenable when you are a made woman with assets. Much of the nuances has religious undertone which I do not subscribe to. This days a business contract is much more honorable than marriage. How many business partners have maimed, disfigured and killed their partners of recent compared to the HOLY MATRIMONY. Marriage cages intelligent minded people. It wraps career minded and future inventors up so tight that they cannot make any meaningful impact to the society...rather they are left to breed bitterness and reminiscing on what might have been . . Most people pretends all is well but can't wait to jet out when given an opportunity. 5 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by MrNipplesLover(m): 6:28am On Oct 10, 2018 |
JoannaSedley: firstly, Happy birthday to you. finally, you are such a wonLaful lady. nice view. facts laden. cc; TonieLee. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Acidosis(m): 7:45am On Oct 10, 2018 |
CHoccolaTE: Your fellow sisters indeed. These your fellow sisters were probably lying with their respective DHs especially in this very cold weather while you're here groaning in bitterness and frustration over matter wey no concern you. How many of the fellow sisters have come to you to seek guidance about divorce proceedings? You think they will leave their DHs to join you in your bitter campaign against men? You would probably never realize how much time you're wasting until you have the opportunity to enjoy just 20% of what some of them gain in their homes. Truth is you lack ideal love in your life. My advice for you is to go and find love. You need love to reset certain things in your life.
You are not as smart as you tink. How can you be a widow, a divorcee, or a widower if you're never married? Sh!t happens and people die, it doesn't take away the memory of a father or a mother figure. You're campaigning against marriage yet talking about widow and bullsh!t. May be you don't know the difference between a widow and a hoe: a widow can hold a family and do so comfortably because she upholds the family structure. A hoe on the other hand is more likely to raise a bastard. Bastards no dey get father talk more of uncle or cousin. Have you ever seen a product of hoesism talking about cousins, nieces, etc.?
Don't allow your sons and daughters lay curses on you when they start comparing themselves with their colleagues in schools. Uphold the family values and stop spreading hate messages against the family structure. All over the world today, even Presidents are expected to present a first lady before assuming the sensitive position because that is the only thing that matters. Charity begins from home. If you married a cheat, then that's your personal business and not the problem for men in general. How can you fail in a business and start blaming other entrepreneurs in your industry? 4 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by MrNipplesLover(m): 9:11am On Oct 10, 2018 |
this Acidosis guy |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by eyinjuege: 9:22am On Oct 10, 2018 |
Acidosis: A family can exist outside the confines of marriage. A man can be a good father despite being unmarried, likewise a woman. You don't have to take it so personal. That is the reality we live in 2018. Marriage isn't for everybody. The president of United States has been divorced at least 2 times. His current marriage is speculated to be unhappy, and the woman- Melania is expected to get out as soon as she can. Obama was raised by a single mother, he was lucky to have met his own wife. There is a clear difference in the idea of morality between Obama raised by a single mother and trump raised by both parents. I'm sure many will go for the morality of Obama than trump. The goal of any society should be to raise decent human beings. A crazy human will only raise crazy children and a decent person will raise decency. I'm not sure what you mean by family values, but real value should be shown and taught to all children- integrity, honor, kindness, selflessness etc and these really have nothing to do with marriage. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by CHoccolaTE: 10:24am On Oct 10, 2018 |
Great post eyinjuege I am coming let me type my own reply |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Acidosis(m): 10:36am On Oct 10, 2018 |
eyinjuege: Are you married/Would you like to get married? Yes, right? Would you divorce your husband? No, right? Then we don't have a case |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by CHoccolaTE: 11:02am On Oct 10, 2018 |
Acidosis: See how you jump from calling me bitter and single to later mentioning my husband cheating in another quote Continue jumping from calling me single and bitter to calling me an unhappy married woman. Its really making me laugh over here. By the way I am not asking anybody to leave their husbands neither am I campaigning against men. I know that decent men exist, they are few in woman hating societies like Nigeria but they do exist, I am not fighting men, calm down. I am pointing out how women are mostly in the losing side when it comes to married life and marital laws in misorginistic societies like Nigeria. Marriage should not be forced down anyone's throat, it is not a do or die affair. If it must take place, then laws should be reviewed to ensure both parties involved are not cheated of their human rights or taken advantage of,especially for women who sacrifice their lives and dreams and freedom and barely get anything back. Simple. I just brought that up as a way to let you know that family can continue and can exist if marriage is not in the picture. If a person's spouse dies it doesn't automatically destroy any familial relationship they have with their children or other members of their extended family. You're campaigning against marriage yet talking about widow and bullsh!t. May be you don't know the difference between a widow and a hoe: a widow can hold a family and do so comfortably because she upholds the family structure. A hoe on the other hand is more likely to raise a bastard. Bastards no dey get father talk more of uncle or cousin. Have you ever seen a product of hoesism talking about cousins, nieces, etc.? So much anger in this post, look at all the dirty words used, wow its like my post got you so worked up. Thats what happens if you get in conversations with people on the internet, you will certainly get conflicting views from others but try not to let their opinions get to you. Acidosis, what I have been doing on this thread is mentioning the ways women are cheated and taken advantage of in the way present marriages are run. Many men are so irresponsible and self centered and selfish and putting their wives through misery day in day out. I joined many women oriented groups on Facebook and I see the horror stories these women tell of what they encountered in their marriages. Coupled with my own real life experiences of my relatives. These are not fake stories, they are reallife stories told by real women with real Facebook profiles you can check to verify so to answer your questions, yes, these my sisters came to complain to me that's why I am fighting for them. I am all for justice and fairness. If a person is being cheated or taken advantage of in marriage then I think it's better for them to be single and happy. If they must be married then laws must be modified to ensure they get a fair deal. I spoke against the oppressive firm of marriage in Nigerian societies where women are supposed to take so much bullshit and stay patient and keep praying. If the marriage is a fair and just one with equitable laws both parties are happy with then well and good, they can get married. I particularly dislike the word bastard, I feel it's wrong to label a child who had nothing to do with their being born outside wedlock such a dirty word. It's a very unfair and evil insult, I don't understand how you were so okay with throwing around that word left and right in your post. Oh, and you are here talking about hoeism and how one can not be a hoe and have a decent family but what about useless men that keep girlfriend after girlfriend outside their marriage and spend money they are supposed to use in taking care of their families on these girls. Are the actions of these men good for marriage? hoeism is bad for marriage but the multitude of cheating married men is good abi? Is it not the same sexual immorality both parties are practicing?
I will only uphold family structure if it doesn't entail women putting up with shiiit and being taken advantage of. If you married a cheat, then that's your personal business and not the problem for men in general. How can you fail in a business and start blaming other entrepreneurs in your industry? I thought I was a bitter lonely spinster with no man to hold me on cold nights 4 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by JoannaSedley(f): 3:38pm On Oct 10, 2018 |
This argument shouldn't be personal at all. Someone is taking it personal. 2 Likes |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by MrNipplesLover(m): 4:12pm On Oct 10, 2018 |
Una still dey ontop this matter? unfollows thread. |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by eyinjuege: 4:17pm On Oct 10, 2018 |
Acidosis: Lemme reply you, as I just dey come back. What are you on about? You're asking the questions and giving yourself the answers back. Why are you rambling to yourself? This one pass soliloquy o. I would divorce my husband without looking back if the marriage is not salvageable. Life is too short to live it in misery. My life will not end without a husband. My children will grow up fine because they have a father and a mother who love them, and don't joke with them. A wonderful parent doesn't translate to a wonderful spouse. They are 2 very different roles. Im thankful to my parents who empowered me and gave me the best. I am self confident and I try to impart my children with that. Some of us have faced worse things life has to offer, and we have survived. A divorce is a minor thing for some, and surely one would survive It. It's one of life's experiences. 1 Like |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by olatuneji: 5:50pm On Oct 10, 2018 |
JoannaSedley: plenty oil dey your head.I like your reasoning.Marriage is just overated.Alot of spouse are not finding it easy.Majority are suffering and smiling.freigning all is well when the obvious is not.The institution Marriage has traped and caged many destiny. 1 Like |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Acidosis(m): 6:48pm On Oct 10, 2018 |
eyinjuege: My point is pretty clear and simple. A woman who is currently in her husband's house should never be caught advising single women against getting married. How can someone be agreeing that marriage does not make sense any longer yet they won't leave their marriages? As regards the divorce thing, I have absolutely nothing against leaving a toxic spouse. However, people should learn to make the right choices and stop disturbing the atmosphere with experiences from failed marriages. We need to stop blaming "marriage" and allow people take responsibilities for their wrong choices. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by IrokoOluwere: 7:12pm On Oct 10, 2018 |
Doughboysss:Marriage in Islam is not designed to keep men in perpetual slavery . Only Christian and court marriage is designed like that |
Re: #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? by Nobody: 7:12pm On Oct 10, 2018 |
MrNipplesLover: bla bla bla and more bla bla |
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