MOBO444 hahaha na for this kian thing you de show your power. i think your joining the ''CABALS''

@Tink_sh have i insulted you,i taught Nairaland was freedom of speech, howcome i am now a FOOL or sound like a FOOL for my view on relationship,i really pity your husband or boyfriend (if you have one), i dont think you are in a relationship,you wont insult a brother if you are in a seriious relationship, you must be one of those fustrated SINGLE ladies we see all over Lagos state going to church and seeking divine intervention for husband and life partner.

LOVE.4BUG:

MOBO444 hahaha na for this kian thing you de show your power. i think your joining the ''CABALS''

Lovebug how are you doing,no i no want CABAL wahala,i am just saying my view to re structured a failed or failing marriage.

[size=15pt]try to talk to her.if she is not being realistic then u jump ship.life is too short to waste time on such a person[/size]

they enjoy it when they say am not in the mood, am not feeling fine, i don't want it e.t.c

you must be one of those fustrated SINGLE ladies we see all over Lagos state going to church and seeking divine intervention for husband and life partner.

tpiah:

if you're irresistable, she'll be all over you.

so try to be irresistable. Also, help out around the house if the housework is a load.


you can also go with the babyish advice of mobo444 and other jumpin' johnnys, if that's your style.

Its not a matter of been irresistible, What we need ask the poster is their individual age, Women tend to reach their libido height between 25 and 45 while men's last till 60.She just doesn't feel the urge like she use to and she is not trying.
At this age for women,they give it to their men to keep him in tow "most time" and not cos they are gagging for it.
I think your wife thinks you're going no where,thats the reason why she cant be bovered,

U need hit the street man, so many things we do for our wife not cos we want to but cos we want to make em happy, so u should expect the same from your wife,

Guy, from me to you, find your groove with someone else.
She might not be cheating but she might not be too grounded in those kinda stuffs!!!
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@poster
           I will advise you to go hospital and do DNA test,in order to find out whether you are the real father of the 3 kids. Whether she is been playing you lond time ago.You don't need to let her know about the DNA test,just take your kids to hospital for DNA test. I doubt you are the owner but DO IT THE DNA TEST OOOOOOOO .

      Moreover,You can also pay someone(whom you trust) to be watching her movement without known to her so you can find out if she is doing this sexy thing out there.

I really dont get it when a guy comes here and complain that they re not getting any play from their spouses and people are telling him to pamper the b***ch. What da 4uk for!!, move on to da next and get some!!. When she recovers from her "headache" she can head out the back door. simple

@ poster my advice is that you have to control, I believe what is presently happening is not uncommon, i suggest that u redirect your passion to other creative things that will take more of your time and add more value to your life .( not going after women ). sex is not all there is in a relationship.

marriage is about 'working' at your differences even in the bedroom.

when you talked, what did she say the issues were? you can't just be talking and talking without making progress.

what did you say and what were her responses.

Gabry ur mind is 2 dirty.Lawma 'll have a hard time cleanin d grimes.D guy is lookin 4 advice 2 save his marriage.Bt u r givin him lewd sex recipe.Dats make me wonder if u r a nympho.@Gabry

@ poster
Has she  complain anything about herself or you recently, and if there is what is it about?

For the love of marriage and the fear of God how would people advice a MARRIED man to hunt mini-skirts outside?? I dont get it. That's cruel.


Poster, Please talk to your wife.


Once or twice a month is annoying to say the least.

What I advice? Patience and communication is the key. Ask her what made her tired? Why is she always tired when it's time to perform her agreed duties?? Would she LIKE you to go outside?

Plain and simple.

I understand you coming on here asking for answers because this is some personal issue you cant just discuss with anyone face to face.

If she cant live with you then she should call it quit (cos it means she got another deal or whatever excuse else where) and you cant be married and engage in adultery or tolerate ya woman commiting adultery either.


No be by force. If she's not attracted to you anymore, make im go, another lady will be attracted to you.

I find it impossibly true that some dumb guys around here keep advising the poster to go out and grab some! Since when does two wrongs make a right?

@Poster;

Talk to your wife, it could be that she's having some sort of stress. If you tried anything short of "ironing stuffs out with your wife", then be ready to kiss the marriage goodbye!

quote from poster
We have been married for about 6 years now, we are both carrier people.
3 children,  A house help who take care of all the house-work.

To be honest with U guys, I am starved sexually - maybe about average of once in a month.
On a good time 2ice. 3ice/month has been very rare.

We have TALKED, TALK,& still TALKING.


wow this is well enough to file for a divorce, once a month? she be lorry driver abi why is she always tired

good advices

but make una remember that "body no be wood oh"

the broda-man needed somewhere to POUR.

How are we sure this woman is not rationing the THING.

once a month. dat na big temptation oh.

eyar sowi. LADIES can u see what y'll causing, if the guy starts now you'll start complaining.

MOBO444, you sound like a fool!
Marriage is more than just sex. REAL MEN handle their business and dont run away like spoilt children to get what they want. I wasnt talking about nigerian specifically i was talking about marriage in general and women in general//doesnt matter where they are from.
A real man could handle his wife without using her as an excuse to cheat.
The phase i was referring to is after 6 years they may be settled into the unexcitment of everyday. He wanted a womans percpective and he got it. So pull your silly head in, you obviously have no clue about women.

Tink_sh, thanks so very much for a job well done!

My 2cent:

1. Ur wife might be trying 2 tell U something here (though dats totally a wrong way 2 do dat). But are U romantic? Gone are d days dat husband ask wify: oya lets do it, i want it now, etc. After 6 years of marriage U should know ur wife's 'key-starter'

2. I hate it whenever I hear stuufs like, my wife is not giving me 'stuff' at home, then I need to find alternative outside. Motive for infidelity should not be attached to circumstances. If U want to taste those young apples outside, nobody can advice or stop U. its ur decision.

3. U should know by now dat communication is the solution to 90percent of marital problems.

4. And if ur predicament remains dsame, pls consult ur Creator.

My 2cent:

1. Ur wife might be trying 2 tell U something here (though dats totally a wrong way 2 do dat). But are U romantic? Gone are d days dat husband ask wify: oya lets do it, i want it now, etc. After 6 years of marriage U should know ur wife's 'key-starter'

2. I hate it whenever I hear stuufs like, my wife is not giving me 'stuff' at home, then I need to find alternative outside. Motive for infidelity should not be attached to circumstances. If U want to taste those young apples outside, nobody can advice or stop U. its ur decision.

3. U should know by now dat communication is the solution to 90percent of marital problems.

4. And if ur predicament remains dsame, pls consult ur Creator.

PS: extra-marital affair will not solve ur problem. Its just a game dat can turn 2 hobby in less than no time (a fix U'll never wish 4!)

@poster
           I will advise you to go hospital and do DNA test,in order to find out whether you are the real father of the 3 kids. Whether she is been playing you lond time ago.You don't need to let her know about the DNA test,just take your kids to hospital for DNA test. I doubt you are the owner but DO IT THE DNA TEST OOOOOOOO .

      Moreover,You can also pay someone(whom you trust) to be watching her movement without known to her so you can find out if she is doing this sexy thing out there.

oladayo this is outrageous! common be reasonable! how could you even think up this rubbish you spewed here?

Communicating is very important between spouses. After 3 children, of course, she will be tired. Help take care of the children, look for a babysitter (or ask a family member to look after them) and take your wife out on a date or a mini vacation. Give her a massage before going to bed. send her sexy (erotic) text messages through out the day, and she will tear your clothes off when she gets home. Pamper her.
We women love romance, after that many years of marriage (with children), nobody just want to open their legs to do their "duty", it should be fun and spontaneous. Put the spark back into your marriage, and you will be surprised by her responce.
Please ignore all the home-wreckers that are telling you to cheat on your wife. Only a selfish husband cheats on his wife.

Akin,
what i have 2 say to you is, dialogue with your better half, listen 2 her complaints, worries, problems, pains, (if any) then affirm your love for her. also tell her, that you are not happy with the way you guys sex life is going(not in harsh, angry tone). let her know that she would be pushing you 2 look else where if such continues. you will see, she'll do your bidding.
Good Luck Bro,

MOBO444 is the only person  making sense here.  The poster's wife is enjoying exercising power and control over her husband because he has made her believe that she is the one and only and that he doesn't have any other options. The marriage has become like a warder prisoner relationship. This is how people who think they have a monopoly on something behave until they experience competition.   The poster will do well to read a previous post on Nairaland titled  "How to maintain and control a woman".  The link is below

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-396243.0.html

What this guy needs to do is to exercise true control like a man and shake his wife out of her complacency.  He doesn't necessarily have to chase skirts outside but he should start getting home late and if possible sprinkle some ladies perfume on his shirt while whistling as he walks into the house.   He should also ignore her and look the other way even if she is completely naked in front of him.   The whole point is to make her feel that she is not the centre of his universe anymore and that she is expendable.    The reason why most females here are saying he should talk to her is that they are all in on the game and they know the main way a woman can exercise control over a man is through bottom power.   Come on poster,  be a man and take charge.  Let your father be proud of his son.

just play some funny pranks on her!
act like u calling sum girl everyday. . . in the nite wen she's there!
telln her how u enjoyed her and stuvs!

UR WIFE GO BEHAVE I SWEAR

You are obviously not in tune with your wife's emotions. It's your duty to find out how and why, not NLanders'.

After 3 kids, did you discuss family planning with her? Her frigidity could simply be caused by the fear of falling pregnant again.
Talk to her and go with her to the clinic to get her a good plan. It may work wonders.

Treat her tenderly; You can't just badge into a woman's emotions just like that.

Validate and appreciate her contributions to the family.
Ask questions and see if she's not in trouble at work.
Women are so easy to love only if men would do the ground work!

My views!

Can someone help with how to post topics here?