alphaNomega:


So a girl that is free to leave her house regularly is a bad girl? Nigerian train of thought

what is this one talking about? Be matured enough not give meanings that the author hadn't written.

Don't tell me you do not know the meaning of bad girl in this context. You can as well term the bad girl a murderer, a thief etc since I used "bad"

Ladylite:
Why not LIE that you got a job, and come to where your sisters are at, why not lie with proof of employment and escape. Inbox me, I can help

taink you... so that she can enter one chance abi?

See Ifemide123, your being at home is a saving grace. I don't know what your status is (student, employed, etc), but concentrate on the more important things in life at this stage: learn, work and build yourself. You say you have a shop... take advantage that you're not paying rent now to save your money so you can pursue dreams later.

crixtech and missjo said it best:

crixtech:
... But the fact is that, any guy who stops communication with you cos you still live with your parents or because you need their permission to go out does not have good intentions for you.

missjo:
... I can assure you that any boy, guy, or man in any part of the world who has a problem visiting you in your parents house or at least getting to your parents house to take you out from there, is not to be taken seriously. He's just another puccyhunter. Good riddance.

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24

Let’s get married

Ifemide123:

Waoh
Thank you for this. I was beginning to think something isn't right.

From your story, I could only deduce that your parents are some hard-core Christians. No offence, but at your age, you deserve some liberty.

I know this usually applies to men but let's make an exception. "grow some balls"

If your parents wouldn't allow you to attend youth meetings then it's a serious case that IMO opinion has to some extent affected your self confidence and possibly your perception about meeting people, hence your preference to online dating.

Back to growing som balls, this doesn't mean you should be rude and offensive to your parents. It's just about you having a grown up conversation with them and letting them know what's burning you up and how you feel.

Trust me, everything will change after having that conversation.

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

Any serious person will appreciate you for asking your Parr for permission before visiting him except you are also looking for un-serious people.

Sleevia:
you better use your head. Your parent will not carry the shame of being single at 30 with you.

I know a lady with similar trait who is 35 now and not married. This attitude of not going out and her choice of dating cause her to be in such situation.

Mind you she is a good wife material and pretty but the world has rule you must abide by, no matter how good you are.

That is why bad girls get married faster these days.

We are not talking about marriage and age here.

Babe wants to be free and tear eye, we are saying she should chill and huzzle for financial independence.

Marriage ain't the ultimate here.

Ifemide123:

Yeah

see who is been advised about meeting people on social media, u still dry here dey do yeah




u go soon see wetin u dey find

Ifemide123:

Yeah

see who is been advised about meeting people on social media, u still dry here dey do yeah




u go soon see wetin u dey find, this is why i dont advice people

Ifemide123:

I'm really sad about this. I have a shop I run here so except I get a good job outside our town I can't just leave. The best bet is to rent a place and stay on my own but No! I am not married so why should a single lady live alone in same town with her parents? Yet they won't give me the freedom I should have. I can't stay beyond 7 outside, I can't visit a boyfriend in his own town too.

will you marry me?

djoe21:


Means you are not assertive but easily swayed. Omo mehn, I don use grammar finish grammar

Ok, it means you are easily influenced.

u are very correct

Ifemide123:

I'm really sad about this. I have a shop I run here so except I get a good job outside our town I can't just leave. The best bet is to rent a place and stay on my own but No! I am not married so why should a single lady live alone in same town with her parents? Yet they won't give me the freedom I should have. I can't stay beyond 7 outside, I can't visit a boyfriend in his own town too.

Same issue with my family but I outsmarted them, went for service , opened shop at my ppa and started life there because I know it'll be totally impossible and cause a lot of family wahala to rent a place in this same town with my parents. They still call me to ask me when I'll be finally coming home oh but I'll keep posting them till they realise theres no coming back for me.



I'll advice you keep applying for jobs till you get one that'll take you away, that's your best bet.

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

My dear, nothing absolutely wrong with your situation. A good man with good intentions will even find it great you homely. All those guys getting pissed cos you can travel are Bleep boyz and serial killers. Just chill, least u not in a prison. Your good date will show up.

Now calm down and listen to my advice, suggestion & opinion.

There's a family bond that impacts negatively on us sometimes.
For everyday you remain under your parents roof, you are bound by their dictates and manipulations. They will decide for you and you have no will of yours. The spiritual impact is that you will never grow into a self sufficient being. I discovered this late and I'm telling you from experience.
When you resist and move out against all odds, you will definitely struggle for a while before you find your balance but in all truth, you will grow fast and be independent. You will have a say in your life and be free from the shackles of your fathers house. You will have the right environment to manifest what you truly are inside of you.
My advise to you is to move out, even if it means squatting with a friend or taking a 1 room apartment. Whatever you can afford is welcome. Take the leap. After all , all die na die.
Let these words sink and you'll thank me later. I'll also recommend that you read a lecture from the book the 'In the light of Truth, the Grail Message: titled, 'The Family Bond'. That lecture is an eye opener to the workings of family physically and spiritually.

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

koyyes:


We are not talking about marriage and age here.

Babe wants to be free and tear eye, we are saying she should chill and huzzle for financial independence.

Marriage ain't the ultimate here.

This old thinking of ladies living on their own to be promiscuous needs to change , I've been staying alone for a year plus now and I've not had a guest for more than 6 months, I don't have the time. she'll get financial independence faster when she's on her own trust me.

Nothing is wrong with you and you are not at disadvantage. In fact any guy who will want you to visit him at the first offline meeting isn't serious. Come to think of it, would you have visited them if you were to be staying alone? If yes then it's bad because you can hardly get any serious guy through that approach as most of them will only taste and go. The guy who is serious should make concerted efforts at cultivating a relationship and visiting you severally to show commitment before talking of you visiting him.
Who will he introduce you as on that first meeting to his house? Who will you tell close friends that you are visiting?

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

I am really trying to know what the problem is.

The world glamorisies romance but leaves out the love childs, the abortions, the heartbreaks and other problems associated with it.

What is the big deal of a man coming to greet you in your parents house? Will it kill him? Do you know of any guy who lost his life doing such? If a man was unwilling to come say hi to your daughter, what will you think of him?

You need to understand why or get the sense why your parents are behaving like this.

I am a Jehovah's Witness and our desire to please our heavenly father guides our footsteps. (Psalms 119:105). A sister must visit a brother with a chaperon to prevent immorality for instance. The rule may seem stupid but it does work.

I want to ask you a question. Why is it that when a guy tells his friend that he likes his sister and wants to date her, his friend becomes upset and tells him to back off? Why isn't he pleased his friend wants to date his sister? Shouldn't he?

As for we Witnesses, the opposite is the case. I found this very strange. I later realized that because courtship was free of premarital sex and both parties in the relationship are God fearing, such relationships were embraced. It took me sometime to get used to it. It was very strange to me at first.

Your parents are trying to protect you. Those men should have been excited to come to your parents house to greet you. Many parents frown at their daughters bringing men home. If their intentions were genuine, they'd have come. If they aren't ready to pay the price like Jacob did for Rachel, run!

I'm not in your house though. The Bible does speak of a "pattern of healthy words". I hope your parents fully follow those patterns. My fear is that they are making those decisions for you and not allowing you to be a stakeholder in the process. This will help you mature and grow

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

Visiting a BF u met online?

I think u are not serious....

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

you sound so stupid to me, imagine you just at 24 you are seeking for freedom independent to visit ur numerous boyfriends in different cities, not just you really know them or how real they are but just that you met them on internet, well na ur type Yahoo boys d take do rituals. Lekwa nsobu, you are in your parents house, they love and care for you, protect you from arms and trouble and all you are asking for is freedom to fucck guys around the neighborhood. I feel so sorry for you cos you don't know what you have till you lost it. If you seeking for freedom to move around remember to seek financial freedom too, not just to go around and fucck guys and then return home and eat their food and make financial demands. Probably your parents know how free ur legs are and how widely they may open to guys out there and they decided to cage you well, biko call me ur parents let me give them TLS handshake from here

Stupid ashawo girl na ur type getmen de service since no opportunity to service urself outside

TYglobal:



This old thinking of ladies living on their own to be promiscuous needs to change , I've been staying alone for a year plus now and I've not had a guest for more than 6 months, I don't have the time. she'll get financial independence faster when she's on her own trust me.

Some of you are obviously missing the context of this particular thread and OP!

OP feels restricted because she can't go visit her online boyfriends. So, tell me- if OP were living alone, what do you think would be the case?

TYglobal:



This old thinking of ladies living on their own to be promiscuous needs to change , I've been staying alone for a year plus now and I've not had a guest for more than 6 months, I don't have the time. she'll get financial independence faster when she's on her own trust me.

I strongly disagree with your last statement. Except you want to tell me her parents will discourage her from going out in the day time for business meetings. No be night e dey take happen.

Some parents just want to see your drive and determination, then they will let you be.

Its all about trust. The op has to earn it.

you want bad boys to pretend they love you and puncture you anyhow? don't be the type that rushes in and quickly lift up skirt because you want to quickly return back home, be careful cos if it was in the time of 2go , wow!

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

You're the kinda girl am looking for

Ifemide123:
Ondo town

am in ONDO too. can we get to meet

pocohantas:


Some of you are obviously missing the context of this particular thread and OP!

OP feels restricted because she can't go visit her online boyfriends. So, tell me- if OP were living alone, what do you think would be the case?

Oh well , I saw that but chose to perceive it from another perspective, plus I understand the feeling of being caged and eagerly needing freedom. So she were to be living alone I presume she will be too sadlled with the responsibilities of taking care of herself to start thinking of traveling from one place to another looking for man except of course she doesn't care for her shop.

True love will come your way before the year runs out, say amen.

Most relationship start with strangers whether online or offline, you just have to be careful.

Orgym:


am in ONDO too. can we get to meet

no spoil the girl o, I no trust you at all at all. Na so you impregnate 4 different girl for ilesha and akure

koyyes:


I strongly disagree with your last statement. Except you want to tell me her parents will discourage her from going out in the day time for business meetings. No be night e dey take happen.

Some parents just want to see your drive and determination, then they will let you be.

Its all about trust. The op has to earn it.

Lool .....I'm speaking from experience here and if she has my kind of parents , just forget about it.

Ifemide123:

I'm really sad about this. I have a shop I run here so except I get a good job outside our town I can't just leave. The best bet is to rent a place and stay on my own but No! I am not married so why should a single lady live alone in same town with her parents? Yet they won't give me the freedom I should have. I can't stay beyond 7 outside, I can't visit a boyfriend in his own town too.

Nawa o but how person dey do am those days wen dem dey uni?
You even hv your business sef.
Cant you meet potential friends in open places or at your business? The more you get comfortable with dem you bring them home or visit them at theirs. Whats hard there? Dont tell any man about parent's house on first date or wen planning a 1st date. You will scare them away.
If your parents want you to settle happily, surely they cant be mad about a familiar face man visiting you at their place unless there is something you are not saying here. Aren't you old enough

koyyes:


We are not talking about marriage and age here.

Babe wants to be free and tear eye, we are saying she should chill and huzzle for financial independence.

Marriage ain't the ultimate here.

na over Sabi dey worry u. Otherwise you would have noticed what I said is no different from what you stated.

Ifemide123, a lot has been said by lot of people who meant well for you. Just notice certain points i will like to add:
√It seems you like long distance relationship, it is not bad but in this your condition, it is advisable to make friends with people around first, this will allow you to understand men more.
√ Don't see your parents as bad people,they are only protecting you and they meant well for you.
√ Be careful with these guys showing you attention on nairaland, most might want to take advantage of your present condition.
√ Just be friendly with people you will meet genuine lover around your vicinity.

islandmoon:
you want bad boys to pretend they love you and puncture you anyhow? don't be the type that rushes in and quickly lift up skirt because you want to quickly return back home, be careful cos if was in the time of 2go , wow!

don't mind the stupid girl na ashawo spirit d worry ham