betty obie:

Hey guys!
I read absolutely every single word here. . .
The truth is his mother is dead,his father,brothers and sisters are against our relationship.
I still don't know what to do. Your culture is very strict and I know if family says 'no' then nothing can be done.
I am praying all the time and hope GOD will help us.
Just looking for a way to let his family know they are wrong and cause us pain and pain.

justwise:

Its upto 'us' to move things forward, we need to learn how to say 'no' politely to our families and stand by it, yes it may get rocky at first but they will soften it up with time.

Your next bottle of beer on me!!  
I hope the ladies here are reading this,

I cant really go into the history of my family too
but they were faced with this same challenge when my peeps got married
but today they recently celebrated their 30yrs anniversary and those same people
who were against them celebrated it with them

Poster please tell your man to go sort his family out and when he does
he should come back and marry you, have a blissful marriage life in advance~

Im out~

190:

I know this is serious ish and im trying to be funny here
how about you buy your way into the family

[b]Get his dad a car,his brother's and sister's different stuff[/b]we africans love gifts and money anyway,
sssh its just a secret dont say i told you!!

chaircover:

awwwww now I get it.

OK for the record 190, this is not about black or white for me and you will see that im my posts I have raised diffierences such as religion, bacground, culture etc

A parent has a right to be worried  over their child and you cant take that away from them, but rather than call their bluff and tell them to get lost, what you do is to try and get each side together to allay each others fears.

If cards are played right, the parents will come round. Afterall no parent will want their kid not to be happy.

jay bee:

Have you met or spoken to any of his family member before?
Most parents (regardless of colour/race) will cringe if their beloved son or daughter is bringing someone perceived to be different home. It's really left to you and your guy to prove doubters wrong if both of you are family oriented.
I'd advice you to make friends with his sister if truly the guy loves you and do wanna get married to you.
At the end of the day it's going to be you 2 in the relationship but being accepted into a family surely do help a lot.
Good luck

PS: This sort of issues do prop up among Nigerians as well whereby different tribes find it hard to marry
Kinda suck but it is what it is

Thank you Jaybee  
atleast you are reasoning towards my direction
All she needs here is to get an insider within that family that would defend her
and that would immediately spooosh their union and everyone comes running around

I suggest that she gets in touch with her man's closest  brother or sister  

jay bee:

Have you met or spoken to any of his family member before?
Most parents (regardless of colour/race) will cringe if their beloved son or daughter is bringing someone perceived to be different home. It's really left to you and your guy to prove doubters wrong if both of you are family oriented.
I'd advice you to make friends with his sister if truly the guy loves you and do wanna get married to you.
At the end of the day it's going to be you 2 in the relationship but being accepted into a family surely do help a lot.
Good luck

PS: This sort of issues do prop up among Nigerians as well whereby different tribes find it hard to marry
Kinda suck but it is what it is

190:

Jenny I want to ask you a question
Are you simply suggesting that this lady here should LET Go of her man cos
the family turned her down COS SHE HAS A WHITE SKIN!!

If you find yourself tomorrow with a white man and his family are against you cos you're black
are you gonna WALK, one thing i have always had is never to give up especially for issues that belongs to the heart

190:

I know this is serious ish and im trying to be funny here
how about you buy your way into the family

Get his dad a car,his brother's and sister's different stuff
we africans love gifts and money anyway,
sssh its just a secret dont say i told you!!

justwise:

, i disagree, buy them nothing! Your bf has to prove how much he loves you now, this is where he should show what he meant when he says he loves you. This is love in action, not when all is rosy and juicy but in a case like this. . .he should stand up and be counted.

funny but true
wetin you want make i talk again

its obvious this poster is dealing with a family with backward mentality
maybe gifts go open their eyes, i nor know wetin i wan talk again  

190:



funny but true
wetin you want make i talk again

its obvious this poster is dealing with a family with backward mentality
maybe gifts go open their eyes, i nor know wetin i wan talk again  

betty obie:

I will try to get in touch with his family,because never before I have seen them or talked with them,But i always send my love and regards to them.But I think to get it touch with them will be difficult,cause they don't want to talk with him,what about me?
I just want to be fine with them.I am not a bad person and I want to show them my love towards my boyfriend.

P.S thank you all for your opinion,it's important for me to get into all this things more,

betty obie:

I will try to get in touch with his family,because never before I have seen them or talked with them,But i always send my love and regards to them.But I think to get it touch with them will be difficult,cause they don't want to talk with him,what about me?
I just want to be fine with them.I am not a bad person and I want to show them my love towards my boyfriend.

P.S thank you all  for your opinion,it's important for me to get into all this things more,

You are welcome  
Thanks for wanting to be a Nigerian, I hope i follow in the footsteps of your man
and bring more foreigner's turned Nigerians to change that country

You did nothing wanting to become a Nigerian maybe you choosed the wrong family
but it would be well { they would get tired someday } dont worry just be positive and hope for the best
if you cant get in touch with the immediate family then get in touch with the extended family maybe uncle's,aunts
and lastly tell your man THAT IF HE WANTS TO MAKE THINGS WORK HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO

I have a strange feeling that guy is weak or rather enjoying this cos if he aint then he would have done something already

justwise:

, i disagree, buy them nothing! Your bf has to prove how much he loves you now, this is where he should show what he meant when he says he loves you. This is love in action, not when all is rosy and juicy but in a case like this. . .he should stand up and be counted.

Beync:

I wish the poster's friend can read this.

jennykadry:

@190
Like I said earlier on, what if it is another way for him to move her aside and marry a nigerian woman? you men do this alot , and this "my family isn't in support" line's been used for years on white gurls but they refuse to believe that sometimes it is not true

How can she date a guy for over a year and his family is just knowing about her? could it be that all this time she has been giving her regards , he hasn't been passing it across? how come he he just told them about her now? and now he is telling her they don't wanna talk to him, could it be that he does not want her to contact his family?LOL the poster is too inlove to smell the rat. Something is not right here.

Hmm,
Im blaming the family
Jenny is blaming the guy
the poster is blaming the family

there is katakata everywhere

Ohh well Jenny i thought we would be on different side cos i really wanted to win you on this one
but i agree this poster should really talk with her man's father!! and Just him and him alone!!

justwise:

Yes. .the bf should pick that phone and say to his family calmly and politely. . .i love this lady and she loves me, we want to be together, I'm old enough to know what i want and i need your support,if you love me and want me to be happy then this is when to show it.

I mean. . the bf can't blame his family if this rela/ship ends, his family shouldn't choose who he should fall inlove with.

jennykadry:

Lol 190 I am not here to compete with you or anybody, this issue is too serious to turn into a competing battle field.

A white lady I know is going through this now, the guy told her the same thing recently and is marrying a nigerian girl this easter. That's why I've still got my doubts, even if she speaks to someone, who knows if it's his true family members or someone he just used since she was insisting on speaking to them.

My question is all these time she has been sending her love, it obviously means that he hasn't been relaying the message at all cos if he has the family would have known about her before now.

This is the reason why we nigerian girls think very far, cheap words like this can't get us easily.

SMH @ the highlighted comment
Nigerian girls [ thats why i dont want to have anything to do with una ]

This lady isnt wrong, maybe the guy as you stated or his family have issues

chaircover:

^^^^^ only If you buy a valentine gift for her from my shop

but im not in nigeria!!