betty obie:

@ 190, No, He lives in London,I live in Birmingham.
Well,the decision is his own.just cannot stay there and doing nothing,feeling I am losing him.
Very sad.

Ma_J_Blige:

Betty

Do not respond to every post. Some dont wish you well.

betty obie:

He doesn't know what to do, He is suffering because he said "no" to his family,but now they don't talk with him and he is very sad and upset,
We are both very confused, it's not easy, Family support is important in a relationship,

betty obie:

He doesn't know what to do, He is suffering because he said "no" to his family,but now they don't talk with him and he is very sad and upset,
We are both very confused, it's not easy, Family support is important in a relationship,

chaircover:

I am sorry but it has nothing to do with civillisation and though many of us lke to be politically correct & say that it doesnt matter, how many of us will feel 100% comfortable if our kids brought home somone who practised a different religion, spoke a different language or has a totaly different culture/background etc.

While the young couple is happily in love & thinking of today, the oldies in the family are thinking forward &  know that marriage is hardwork on both sides and there is added pressure involved when the couple have to cross the bridges of culture, language, religion etc.

Yes many of these marriages have lasted the test of time but a whole heap more didnt and I can understand why the posters boyfriends family are a bit edgy.

In this modern day age,
I cant believe you would say that, yes marriage is more about commitment and hardwork
but cos shes white and has a different upbringing doesnt necessarily mean that such marriage wont work
most of our pre-colonial parents back home have this thoughts that the white woman lives a care-free live { kinda truth but not completely true }
but what they completely seem to have forgotten that this is their son's happiness they are talking about here,
Im gonna be a parent tomorrow and i can never choose for my son who to marry {NEVER} i wont even prefer him to marry a Nigerian lady sef  

In this scenerio the guy and this lady aint at fault,the fault is 100% completely from his parents that's why i earlier adviced her to tell her man to fight his family on his behalf,i am so strong headed and would never bend to anything i feel is WRONG ,if i find myself in this scenerio i would personally take her down to nigeria and live under the same roof with my parents and dare them to do their worst

This is his life we are talking about here
all cos of skin color one cant enjoy the fruits of LOVE

TO HELL   !!

chaircover:

Jenny LOL it did cross my mind.

I mean what is the advantage of telling her such bad news, fully knowing that there is absolutely nothing that she can do about it

Someone I know went out with thig girl for 3 years. He went to Nigeria and came back and told the girl that him mum told him that he cant marry a Zimbabean girl. The relationship broke up and he was married to a Nigerian Girl not long after.
In my heart of hearts I know that he just wanted an excuse to shift the girl out of his life without any drama

190:

this modern day age,

In this scenerio the guy and this lady aint at fault,the fault is 100% completely from his parents that's why i earlier adviced her to tell her man to fight his family on his behalf,i am so strong headed and would never bend to anything i feel is WRONG ,if i find myself in this scenerio i would personally take her down to nigeria and live under the same roof

190:

if they are that sturborn
then its obvious they want him getting married to a black lady

if he has a mother then she is the instrument behind this,why dont
you try winning their hearts for a start,send gifts home,call the woman and
talk to her [ assuring her the son's heart is in safe hands ]
i bet this family is yoruba they tend to think this way [ no offence to the yoruba's ]
[s]Thank Gawd my family are civilized not to choose for us[/s]

jennykadry:

^^ How are we so sure that it is not another way of him wanting to quit the relationship?

CC this is not the first time issues like this arise, alot of our men do this alot

chaircover:

Jenny LOL it did cross my mind.

I mean what is the advantage of telling her such bad news, fully knowing that there is absolutely nothing that she can do about it

Someone I know went out with thig girl for 3 years. He went to Nigeria and came back and told the girl that him mum told him that he cant marry a Zimbabean girl. The relationship broke up and he was married to a Nigerian Girl not long after.
In my heart of hearts I know that he just wanted an excuse to shift the girl out of his life without any drama

190:

Chaircover i bet you are Yoruba
but your idea for defending his parents are illogical and baseless!!
I am a Nigerian and i have seen what Nigerian ladies can do
look @ this Guinea fowl ^{riff rat} called odunnu now, do you think i would ever let my son
marry such a lady into my family, GEEZ!!
I have seen serious cases of where families wouldn't want their kids to get married and cos of love
these kids stick in { without their parents blessings or whatever } and these marriages work
as long as there is LOVE { notice its in caps } things are bond to work,
this lady loves this guy here so why cant she have this guy to herself and later we africans would
come out and start shouting RACISM RACISM RACISM

jennykadry:



What an advise, no marriage will stand without the help of inlaws, if this man starts misbehaving when they get married, who will the poster go to? her family that can talk till thy kingdom come and it changes nothing, when you are in good terms with your family and inlaws these people fight for you, they fight to make you happy, if he misbehaves and she reports him to his mother , just one phone call or crying pretense from her will make him sit up and adjust ASAP, you cannot fight the love between a son and his mother

My advise to you whenever you are ready to marry, do not bring your mother down before your GF, else you will live to regret it because that wife of yours is so going to insult and disrespect her, she is so going to give you an ultimatum and tell you to choose btw your mother and herself and she is so going to make that woman's life a mysery when she comes to visit you guys  that you will begin to ask yourself why on earth you married her

Why are you involving his mother? what did you just type here? ok let me assume you were sleep typing but please open your eyes.

IT IS NOT ALL MOTHERS THAT ARE AGAINST THEIR CHILDREN'S MARRIAGE TO A WHITE.

Jenny I want to ask you a question
Are you simply suggesting that this lady here should LET Go of her man cos
the family turned her down COS SHE HAS A WHITE SKIN!!  

If you find yourself tomorrow with a white man and his family are against you cos you're black
are you gonna WALK, one thing i have always had is never to give up especially for issues that belongs to the heart
this poster's man is still the middle man in everything and he has to MAKE his FAMILY accept her,

the only missing link here i cant understand is why a family wont want their son to get married to a white lady
at this age ( its completely strange to me ) i still maintain my stand that this white woman should tell her man
to make his family accept her, he needs to go meet his family and discuss this issue directly with them,hear their views and what the problem is
instead of trying to forcefully go through his family with his ass sited here in europe  and as for the lady she too should try gaining the love of his brothers,sister's,uncle's,aunts anybody

there are alot of ways to kill a rat aren't there~

betty obie:

Hey guys!
I read absolutely every single word here. . .
The truth is his mother is dead,his father,brothers and sisters are against our relationship.
I still don't know what to do. [b]Your culture is very strict and I know if family says 'no' then nothing can be done.[/b]I am praying all the time and hope GOD will help us.
Just looking for a way to let his family know they are wrong and cause us pain and pain.

justwise:

[/b] I don't normal agree with u but in this case i have to, my family can only support my choice of partner or they back off, its my life, my wife.

simple   ,

Goosh i cant imagine we Africans complaining that RACISM is everywhere
when we cant simply allow our sons marry their daughter's

No wonder some Africans are far from civilization

190:

simple ,

Goosh i cant imagine we Africans complaining that RACISM is everywhere
when we cant simply allow our sons marry their daughter's

No wonder some Africans are far from civilization