On where I work.
I have my own publishing company duly registered with the Corporate Affairs Commission since 2000.
Before 2000, I was the Production Manager of Money Wise on DBN TV in Lagos.
It was an indepedent programme supported by the First Bank of Nigeria Plc until I left to establish my own company with the blessings of my G.O. of the RCCG, my namesake, Dr. Mike Okonkwo, the Bishop of TREM and Dr. Wilson Badejo, the G.O. of the Foursquare Gospel Church.

Who gives a Poo ?

@orikinla, if I told you that a man's d*** gets smaller with more sex, would you believe me ? the only reason an intelligent dude like you would take unproven fact as science is because it reinforces your belief.

I didnt miss your point. All i'm suggesting is that what appears to be so "common sense" to you is not absolute. Has it occurred to you that there may be women, like men, who like to have many relationships just because they want to. You portray women as unwilling victims in these relationships. It may be true for most women you know, but its not true for all women.

And yes, just because you think ecclesiastes is a great book doesnt mean everyone else thinks so. I could very well base my beliefs on the bhagvad gita. Again, you are extrapolating for views to every woman, based on your own world view, and it sounds like BS from 30 years ago

@poster, if too much sex is harmful, does it mean that married women should starve their husbands of sex knowing fully well that God approved sex for married couples?

teena:

@poster, if too much sex is harmful, does it mean that married women should starve their husbands of sex knowing fully well that God approved sex for married couples?

This is the only aspect in orikinlas post I disagree with.
sex with multiple partners is like playing Russian Roulette,it is dangerous and increases your chances of catching something.
VVF has nothing to do with too much sex but with ignorant episiotomies given to young girls during delivery in some parts of Nigeria.
I've never heard of someone leaking urine from too much sex.
incompetent bladder sphincters have nothing to do with sex.

Some study had said too much sexual intercourse could increase chances of a woman having vaginal cancer due to "too much friction"
not proven.

Orikinla,I'll like to know,what is too much sex?
who determines what normal number of sexual activities one should have to tell us what too much is?
because what is too much to Melissa may be too little for Christiana


_{just a thought}

@poster.
Duuude. thats cool

na wow o , that post has really touched me and has me thinking and rethinking somthings

baba u don talk but its now left for those who have ears to hear.but frankly speaking wetin they go chop no make dem wise.girls open ur inner eyes all that glitters is nt gold.

and to the guys make una let dis babe dem rest.

Thoughtful post by Orikinla.
I amy not fully agree with all its content, but then it's a free world.

Windywendy,whoever you are, you certainly spoke my mind. But I will add this:

Orikinla, let me just say that the advice u gave is the equivalent of a lame movie: pedestrian, full of cliches and terribly generalistic. What are u asking for? a perfect country or world at that where all the girls would marry for love and not lust? Or still, where all of a sudden, voila, everyone would now realise the difference between love and lust, [as if its rocket science]?!

I am new here but from the sycophantic praise some peeps here have been giving u, it is clear that some pple hold you in high esteem. Good for them. But really, you havent said anything strikingly intelligent or mindblowingly enlightening. Hell you sound like some chic broke your heart or something. Thats usually when boys gather together and talk about how 'girls never know the difference btw true love and lust' and all that type of loser talk.

And please, lose the chauvinism. It makes your text sound vindictive and even lamer than if you were unbiased. Go easy on the self righteous-ness. I'm a christian and I know the maxim about the casting of stones. Just don't do it.

Again, when you drop off stats like '99 percent of Nigerian girls bla-bla-bla', you make yourself sound incredible. Where did you get the figures? who did the polls? For me, generalization kills an argument even if it is valid. So I won't even argue with you, I'll just say that since you are now a reformer, and [paraphrasing you of course] you would like to help all the girls out there who are living in sin, then go ahead. Preach your message, but don't think youve made any difference. No siree. Not even a dent.

To all those who are saying 'will they listen?' and all such other superiority-complex induced malarkey, let me just remind you that [wo]man is a free moral agent. You cannot force your morality on others. Hold fast to your beliefs but you know, God sees through it all. Sit there and type all the blarney you want but at the end of our lives' roads, una go take tongue count teeth. Self righteousness is as bad as hypocrisy.

No matter what Orikinla and his friends say or do, maligning the female folk will not change nada. It just reminds us that in a world where we have more serious things to think and talk about, some pple will always go the blame route - point at others and the world will be just fine, ignore the real issues; poverty, stiffling economy, lack of education etc, but lambast the female folk and voila, you have made a social difference! Genderisation is a cop out, if you have something to say, say it without coloring it with ur personal grouse with women.

Crap, if ive ever read it. But like we all know, freedom of expression is our God given right especially when its on cyberspace, lol! So, enjoy.

This is real nice stuff.
Wedone to the poster.

thanks so much for thr advice.it came at the rite time

That's really open and honest. I would appreciate if you strike a balance cos I understand men also are to blame as much as the women. Thanks once again.

january8:

Windywendy,whoever you are, you certainly spoke my mind. But I will add this:

Orikinla, let me just say that the advice u gave is the equivalent of a lame movie: pedestrian, full of cliches and terribly generalistic. What are u asking for? a perfect country or world at that where all the girls would marry for love and not lust? Or still, where all of a sudden, voila, everyone would now realise the difference between love and lust, [as if its rocket science]?!

I am new here but from the sycophantic praise some peeps here have been giving u, it is clear that some people hold you in high esteem. Good for them. But really, you havent said anything strikingly intelligent or mindblowingly enlightening. Hell you sound like some chic broke your heart or something. Thats usually when boys gather together and talk about how 'girls never know the difference between true love and lust' and all that type of loser talk.

And please, lose the chauvinism. It makes your text sound vindictive and even lamer than if you were unbiased. Go easy on the self righteous-ness. I'm a christian and I know the maxim about the casting of stones. Just don't do it.

Again, when you drop off stats like '99 percent of Nigerian girls bla-bla-bla', you make yourself sound incredible. Where did you get the figures? who did the polls? For me, generalization kills an argument even if it is valid. So I won't even argue with you, I'll just say that since you are now a reformer, and [paraphrasing you of course] you would like to help all the girls out there who are living in sin, then go ahead. Preach your message, but don't think youve made any difference. No siree. Not even a dent.

To all those who are saying 'will they listen?' and all such other superiority-complex induced malarkey, let me just remind you that [wo]man is a free moral agent. You cannot force your morality on others. Hold fast to your beliefs but you know, God sees through it all. Sit there and type all the blarney you want but at the end of our lives' roads, una go take tongue count teeth. Self righteousness is as bad as hypocrisy.

No matter what Orikinla and his friends say or do, maligning the female folk will not change nada. It just reminds us that in a world where we have more serious things to think and talk about, some people will always go the blame route - point at others and the world will be just fine, ignore the real issues; poverty, stiffling economy, lack of education etc, but lambast the female folk and voila, you have made a social difference! Genderisation is a cop out, if you have something to say, say it without coloring it with your personal grouse with women.

Crap, if ive ever read it. But like we all know, freedom of expression is our God given right especially when its on cyberspace, lol! So, enjoy.

Have you ever listened to the Yoruba parables and proverbs in Ebenezer Obey's songs of the 1970s and '80s?

The Horse, The Man and His Son (Decca WAPS 98)

Ko Sogbon To Le Da / Baba Oni Ketekete

Ko sogbon to le da
Ko si iwa to-lewu
To le fi te aiye lo run.

Whether you call it crap, crab or whatever, you are entitled to your own level of common sense.

The fact is what matters most is the realities of our daily life in Nigeria.

[size=14pt]The post simply put, says Nigerian girls and ladies are more noble and worthy to be mere sex objects.

1. That they should prove their mettle and rationale as Dr. Dora Nkem Akunyili is doing and stop using their sexuality to curry favours or lure ignorant men to marry them.
They should stop being unscruplous seducers.

2. That guys (players) and gentlemen should not see Nigerian girls and ladies as mere sex objects or trophies to prove their manhood or boost their petty egos.

3. We should treat Nigerian girls with dignity, integrity and nobility.[/size].

[size=14pt]Even a 4 year old child would have seen the raisons d'être [/size]

Simple message and not an excuse to be belligerent.

As I said earlier, I am very happy in my relationships locally and internationally. And my two sisters who are happily married and very very comfortable with healthy children agreed with every word of knowledge in my post. And from Rivers State to Abia State, we are okay.

Who gives a shxt or does not give any shxt, is your business.

1. The fact is, as you noticed from my replies, I have more Pan African matters to address than indulge in petty exchange of personalities with those who hide behind a PC online and post anything they like.

2. Orikinla is not a fake ID, it is my pen name and a notable one for that matter from Nigeria to Sudan to South Africa to Malaysia.

3. I am a very fortunate and highly favoured Nigerian writer and I have no issues with women.

It would be wise for people to read and not indulge in pettiness.

It is a discussion forum and not a street fight.

From what the whole world saw the other day on AIT as the so called Nigerian honorable representatives jumped up and down tables to exchange blows over Patricia Ette's Scandal, I am not surprised to read some troublesome posters.
It is a Nigerian problem.

God will heal us all!

Keep your petty malice and prejudice to yourself.
They are unhealthy and quite evil.

Time will tell.

[size=14pt]I don waka go be that oh[/size].

orikinla you are yet to answer my question.

here it is again

Orikinla,I'll like to know,what is too much sex?
who determines what normal number of sexual activities one should have to tell us what too much is?
because what is too much to Melissa may be too little for Christiana

@orikinla

After reading the first 3 lines of your post, i concluded that you were mentally retarded! Infact, close to insanity.

Recommendation:
1. Get hold of something in life (something you can be proud of, something you can flaunt)
2. Find for yourself a girl/lady/mama whatever
3. Allow your volatile brain settle and finally,
4. Then go through the shit you posted.

I'll be here to give you further advices.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Truth! Truth!!.
I pray say make God Let them hear sha As they want use powerful phones!

is't only ladies that is using powerful phone, how about men that use it to trick ladies.

well I love that post, is nice and I pray that God will help we ladies and girl to aviod regret at last.

Dear Orikinla,

b]Have you ever listened to the Yoruba parables and proverbs in Ebenezer Obey's songs of the 1970s and '80s?[/b]

In changing the world, you and I have got to start with 'the man in the mirror', like Michael Jackson advised. And as for your Yoruba parables and Ebenezer Obey's proverbs, no I havent ever listened to them directly nor do I ever intend to. I have grown up on other [and I'm sure similar] proverbs including the ones of the Bible and they have done a good job with me, thank you.

b]Whether you call it crap, crab or whatever, you are entitled to your own level of common sense.[/b]

As indeed you are, like I insinuated earlier.


The fact is what matters most is the realities of our daily life in Nigeria.

True, which is why I fault your post. Our realities in Nigeria are more serious than your grouse with ladies 'who now mistake lust for love'. You may not hear or read the lameness in what you said but I wouldnt expect you to. With all the encomiums you shower on yourself, I would consider it almost impossible for you to take a step back and view your opinion again let alone accept that it isnt the most novel or intelligent of ideas either. No, heaven forfend it. So like you yoruba pple say, 'go on so'un'.

b]The post simply put, says Nigerian girls and ladies are more noble and worthy to be mere sex objects. [/b]

No it doesnt. Simply put, the post is a self-righteous way of saying, 'I have my head screwed on tight, but Ngerisn Girls don't. Otherwise why would you be so tactless as to actually use figures like 99 percent? With all your intelligence which you are determined to show forth, don't you think it wouldve been better to NOT make genralistic statements. If you have specific issues, state them, instead of just going off on a tangent.


And in anycase, I think that any person can view any Nigerian girl as whatsoever he or she likes, but that doesnt change the fact that in this country, there exist women of virtue [aprt from your First Bank friend] who are striving to make it to the top without exchanging their honour. But of course, you wouldnt think so now, would you? After all, Dora Akunyili and your First Banker are the only women worthy of note .

They should stop being unscruplous seducers.

As against 'scrupulous seducers'? I don't believe this!lol!

As I said earlier, I am very happy in my relationships locally and internationally. And my two sisters who are happily married and very very comfortable with healthy children agreed with every word of knowledge in my post. And from Rivers State to Abia State, we are okay.

Your family status is your own business, don't you think? Declaration of the very very comfortable-'ness' of your sisters is quite unecessary to this discussion, and so is your family location spread. Please, make sense, na beg i dey beg.

1. The fact is, as you noticed from my replies, I have more Pan African matters to address than indulge in petty exchange of personalities with those who hide behind a PC online and post anything they like.

No I didnt notice this. Where? In the Pat Etteh reference? Or the Dora Akunyili one? which?


2. Orikinla is not a fake ID, it is my pen name and a notable one for that matter from Nigeria to Sudan to South Africa to Malaysia.

Who said your I.D was fake? Hey, na wa o, this is getting more interesting. See, let me asure you that nobody gives a flip about your popularity, real or imagined. See me see point of argument. lol.

3. I am a very fortunate and highly favoured Nigerian writer and I have no issues with women.

Who are you trying to convince, me or urself? And what pray tel, has this [as with some of your other pointless points] got to do with anything?

As for having or not having issues with women and the relationship of that to your Nigerian writer status, I daresay that the two things are not mutually exclusive. Just so you know, you don't have to be a highly-UNfavoured Nigerian writer to have issues with women. Capisce?

From what the whole world saw the other day on AIT as the so called Nigerian honorable representatives jumped up and down tables to exchange blows over Patricia Ette's Scandal, I am not surprised to read some troublesome posters.
It is a Nigerian problem.

I disagree that there is any such thing as 'a Nigerian problem'. Most problems or challenges are common to the whole world, whether they be more diminished in some places than others. It's pretty much like saying thay 'corruption' or 'internet fraud' is a Nigerian problem. So, no, troublesome posters and parlimentiary fights are not a Nigerian reserve. Get your facts straight amigo.

God will heal us all!

Amen brother, I second that. Amen.


[quote][/quote]

@Orikinla

Very nice post.
My dear you have made your point clear. Truth they say is very bitter. Anyone who likes should accept and if you don't want to accept that is your business.

Na wa for una sef

I've already forgotten what the original post said but I know that it doesn't warrant any personal attacks to the writer,it's a free world.The ideal way would be for everyone to practice abstinence and for people not to have ulterior motives in relationship but we all know that is never going to happen.

I for one like to live a blameless life and I practice abstinence.Unfortunately,in this day and age,it's difficult to find a like-minded man.Once I told a prospective boyfriend that there would be no sex in the relationship and he looked at me like I was nuts and wondered if I was a virgin,when I replied in the affirmative he burst out laughing.I've never felt so humiliated in my life and the relationship ended there before it even had a chance to begin.It's not only women that are out there having sex,men put a lot of pressure on us and until my encounter with the said man,I didn't know virginity was now a thing to be laughed at.People like me will wait no matter what it takes and how long it takes because we believe we are in the right.An article addressing men would be welcome.

@ jezzy

I feel you.

Thats true

nice one

.

most guys dont know that it is really hard being a woman. we know all we've been told here but look at things from a realistic point of view. a woman who marries a poor man that never makes it in life is often abandoned by that man to raise the kids on her own. if the man makes it, all d things he couldn't do when he was poor,he will do now and chase girls younger than his wife and even marry them. if u keep to urself waiting for a good man who is not well made but is on his way, u must watch d time cuz d world will count time for u and ur friends or mates who married anyhow men will still be more highly regarded than u. if u wont listen to d sweet words of a man who claims to love u then who will u listen to? will u make ur heart as hard as stone to make sure u dont fall for sweet words. shame on d man for deceiving u not u for believing him. i can go on and on, fact of d matter is women are victims,as singles and mostly in marriage.no matter how wise, intelligent, moral or how many messages like this one u hear, u can still fall a victim through no fault of urs.so take it easy on us women, most times we are not assured of the security of a man's love, maybe thats why we look to the questionable security of wealth. may God help us all.

coolviv:

most guys don't know that it is really hard being a woman. we know all we've been told here but look at things from a realistic point of view. a woman who marries a poor man that never makes it in life is often abandoned by that man to raise the kids on her own. if the man makes it, all d things he couldn't do when he was poor,he will do now and chase girls younger than his wife and even marry them. if u keep to yourself waiting for a good man who is not well made but is on his way, u must watch d time because d world will count time for u and your friends or mates who married anyhow men will still be more highly regarded than u. if u wont listen to d sweet words of a man who claims to love u then who will u listen to? will u make your heart as hard as stone to make sure u don't fall for sweet words. shame on d man for deceiving u not u for believing him. i can go on and on, fact of d matter is women are victims,as singles and mostly in marriage.no matter how wise, intelligent, moral or how many messages like this one u hear, u can still fall a victim through no fault of urs.so take it easy on us women, most times we are not assured of the security of a man's love, maybe thats why we look to the questionable security of wealth. may God help us all.

I love you for your honesty.
I don't mind to dump my present babe to elope with you.
Just to know whether you are as real as your words.

You can read my post on https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-86243.0.html to cap it all.

Hey if anybody wants serious counselling on marriage and relationship watch pastor kingsley on sundays 3:30pm on STV. with rib cracking jokes as side attraction.The guy is better than some professional comedians if u ask me.

This thread is an exercise in complete futility

The guy who started this thread has been shouting that women should stop making themselves sex objects

But he turns around and classifies women with their sexual organs ie virgins/non-virgins


So if he wants women to stop beign sexual objects, why is his idea of doing that primarily one that also classifies women using their sex organs state


He forgets that part of the reason women attach so much emphasis to their sexual organ is these Virgin advocating guyz. When women see men who put too much emphasis on womens sexual organs how else do you want her to treat herself?

So @Orikinla

The mission is self defeating

For the thread in general, This idea is very disingenious


LIke ive said b/4 (and i got slammed by femnists)

ALL MEN VIEW WOMEN AS SEXUAL OBJECTS TO A CERTAIN DEGREE. Its just that they express it in different forms

Ask me and il tell you why

Orikinla:

I love you for your honesty.
I don't mind to dump my present babe to elope with you.
Just to know whether you are as real as your words.

You can read my post on https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-86243.0.html to cap it all.

SEE THE THREAD AUTHOR COMMITTING THE OFFENCE HE'S CASTIGATING WOMEN FOR

@Gridlock

don't follow what the pastor does, but what he preaches , cus we all human beings, and no being has attained half of the perfection worthy of us.



@topic

i admire your write ups, they are educating. all you have said is the truth, you won't expect everyone to agree with you, because the truth is very bitter, but it must be SAID.

sex in a marriage is good, its a gift from God to help strengthen and create a bond between husband and wife, but when couples place a lot of priority on the sexual part of their marriage, they might ignore other aspects of marriage that makes it successful .

thats why the divorce rates are rapidly increasing.when couples find out they are no more attracted to each other and have problems, they see nothing left to continue being together. other aspects that could have kept them together was not developed.

ask couples who have the most successful marriages am talking of those who have spent up to 50years and above together, they would tell you it was not built on sex.

Wow, this is very hypocritical and one-sided. The women you said shouldn't give in to sex, who asks for it in the first place
Your post is extremely unrelenting towards the female, yet, it pays no heed to the fact that men instigate these things in the first place. Why don't you ask stop men to stop pressuring girls into sex? Why don't you ask rich men to not marry poor women? Why don't you also ask them to stop 'falling for' these apparent devil marketers? Look, I'm in the banking industry, and I can honestly tell you this whole banks employ chicks to go tempt guys for money is exaggerated, I don't say it doen't happen but if those girls go out and do it, it's on their own idea. Girls who feel they can't meet their targets goign to extreme measures to get what they want. At the same time, the men (mostly married) who are loose enough to fall for a babe in a skirt and let go fo his money?? Please.

Your no6 post tripped me the most though. You are yet to give the scientific proof that happens. I agree with birdman. Somebody told you a lot of bollocks, and you believed it because it proves your point. It doesn't happen. Too much sex will not turn you into a walking baby. It's so RIDICULOUS, i can't beleieve how many women on this post believed it! Don't you even undersatnd your own bodies? What are the diapers supposed to hold anyway? Urine? Cos if that's the case, it OBVIOUSLY has nothing to do with sex, because those parts are not related. God is not stupid. If he wanted married people to have sex, why would he then put a limit on it? Listen to yourself, abeg.

Please go and re-examine your post. A man thinks about sex every 6 seconds. He's not blameless. And stop generalising. I know too many women who have had long, meanigful relationships WITHOUT sex, so that imagined 99% u made up is very annoying.

Just another chauvijistic male running amok under the guise of the Bible. Spare me.