. Religion needs to be part of the convo b4 marriage,every1 has the right to their beliefs so if b4 marriage,if there is no conclusion or compromise its better not to go ahead because it always causes issues.

Gr8mind07:
Bro,it's obvious you have been a victim of her manipulating tactics since courtship .

Whatever the background church of a lady, it is expected the she bids the church bye - bye at the wedding ceremony and follows her husband to his church. This is the reason that marriage is conducted in the lady's church and thanksgiving at the Man's church.

Even her so called Pastor knows this.

Mr Poster,
Marriage is divine, God created marriage whether it is your pastor or her pastor it doesn’t matter as far as you verify they are from same source
Looking for advice on this platform is very risky
Because most “advicers” here are not married. (no marriage experience) secondly some don’t know the basicities of marriage.
Obviously you love and respect your wife, don’t let social media and your ego
If you sense within you the pastor is genuine swallow your pride. Let peace reign in your home.

Just let her have do as she wish but if possible try and start keeping money for DNA before it to late and when the results comes out and you are the real father so let this be her last time she will give you order on something you are capable of handling

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Carry your cross, una wey dey agree to marry this kind rebellious women una head no correct!, imagine struggling to make money when nobody even send you as a man then finally marrying trouble with same hard earned money, Godforbid!

vanvickie:
Continue giving room for manipulations...

Someday the pastor will also be the one to determine something more than just the name of your child... BTW.. Ain't both of u supposed to be attending the same Church? Smh.

Walahi many men are finished!... I can't even fathom going to my wife's church, I dey mad??, she God no dey my own church??, weak men everything!

vanvickie:
Continue giving room for manipulations...

Someday the pastor will also be the one to determine something more than just the name of your child... BTW.. Ain't both of u supposed to be attending the same Church? Smh.

Walahi many men are finished!... I can't even fathom going to my wife's church, I dey mad??, shey God no dey my own church??, weak men everywhere!

BlindAngel:



That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

Nawa oo, na your kind of man many of them out there dey find, weak men who has no standards and principles, before I married my wife has become a member of my church already, you gave room for all these manipulations from tye onset so carry your cross!, a wife is to be submissive to your will not you doing that and that's not wickedness, God no dey your church?, are you worshipping devil there??, kai alot of you men are annoyingly very weak, Godforbid!

Maeve7:


Why are you so concerned to be called wicked? The fact that you gave in because you were afraid the crying would have a negative impact on her after CS shows that you are not wicked.

Why is it so important which church you people go to? Take turns. This time it’s her church, next time it’s your church. Problem solved.

Right thing is to follow him to his church not hers!, I wonder why you all love all these soft narratives, a man is tye leader of his home, I don't even pity men like him, he's obviously a very big SIMP!

BlindAngel:



That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

I don't want to call you names cos you're a married man and I believe you should stamp your authority. If you had stopped this rubbish by ensuring you both attend your church together, this nonsense display from her won't come up.
as long as you failed to address it and fell for her manipulation, expect more disrespect and challenge to your authority. You've already shown her you're a weak man by "allowing peace to reign ".

BlindAngel:




It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

From all ramifications you married a wrong wife and you will suffer for it . First she manipulate you into marrying her , then this . If you're being honest, you will agree her mother controls their home , and now her daughter wants to control your home too. Better stand your ground and ban her from attending that church henceforth.
If she's not ready to listen to you , she can become a single mum like her sis . But then get ready for more issues

A complete SIMP and mumu guy! I no blame the woman but i blame u for allowing her to have her way from d beginning.

Foodqueen:
You allowed her attend a separate church while she was pregnant, it's only natural that she would want her church to christen the child.

U can take the dedication to your family church.

Ndo, alot of sacrifice for a peaceful marriage.

This stupidity not sacrifice, I bet there still won't be PEACE!

BlindAngel:



If only you know the daily cry, you would understand why I bowed to the pressure of getting married to her, which I'm still regretting until date everytime I think that I'm married to someone that I don't love, and worst still not sexually attracted to, it hurts me a lot everytime I think about it, our marriage is just 4 months and I have already started regretting everytime I think that I'm married and I don't have 1% love for who I'm married to, it would still be good if I'm sexually attracted to her, but I'm not. I'm so deeply hurt.

This one is a very serious matter o!.officiating naming or not is not d problem at all...

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

https://www.nairaland.com/7654258/disobedience-to-husband-and-issue-of-attending-different-chuches

Read this post bro and solve your problem. Let your wife read it too.

I am sure you are single , so you know nothing, you are just typing trash.

Women always want to be celebrated among their peers ,doing it in her church will make most of the women in her church to attend which is a plus to her ,

She has nothing to gain in her husband
family church if naming is done there .since she is not attending that church.

If her naming is not done in her church, she will feel left out, since other women are doing theirs

I am married so I can proudly tell you this .


All of you that are senseless and insensitive to women plight should stop giving Mumu advice to destroy homes .




















post=131020962]First of all, do you mean she wants her pastor to CHOOSE the name of your baby or OFFICIATE the naming ceremony?

Secondly, do a DNA test to confirm rhat you'll not be raising the bastard son of her pastor. This woman obviously WORSHIPS her pastor. It's not UNIMAGINABLE that she's tendered her pussy as offering one or two times.

Next you need to face the fact that a SCAMMER (the pastor) and a STRANGE man (still the pastor) exerts more INFLUENCE in your marriage than you do. And ask yourself whether you still want to be in that marriage.

A strange man holds the remote control to your relationship. Your marriage subsists by his will. Are you okay with that?

NEXT, she is blatantly MANIPULATING you without remorse. You are NOT responsible for the complications that led to the C-Section. Even if it's because the baby is too big because you are a big man, it's still NOT your fault.

Her eyes were wild open when she CHOSE to marry you and have your child. If it's yours, that is.

STOP letting her use child birth as an ammo for manipulating you. Because if you capitulate today, you best belive she'll NEVER stop. Next she'll weaponise the child.

Then her next pregnancy would be a NUCLEAR weapon. Everything you previously disagreed on would be tabled again UNTIL she has her way. Maybe she'll demand you DONATE your house to her pastor and rent a room and parlour for yourself.

Put your foot down and DON'T even compromise. Don't allow her pastor to be involved in ANYWAY when it comes to naming the child unless DNA proves the child is his.
[/quote]

Ignore this mad mad damaged man advice if you want a home.














quote author=EndRape2 post=131041839]I am sure you are single , so you know nothing, you are just typing trash.

Women always want to be celebrated among their peers ,doing it in her church will make most of the women in her church to attend which is a plus to her ,

She has nothing to gain in her husband
family church if naming is done there .since she is not attending that church.

If her naming is not done in her church, she will feel left out, since other women are doing theirs

I am married so I can proudly tell you this .


All of you that are senseless and insensitive to women plight should stop giving Mumu advice to destroy homes .




















post=131020962]First of all, do you mean she wants her pastor to CHOOSE the name of your baby or OFFICIATE the naming ceremony?

Secondly, do a DNA test to confirm rhat you'll not be raising the bastard son of her pastor. This woman obviously WORSHIPS her pastor. It's not UNIMAGINABLE that she's tendered her pussy as offering one or two times.

Next you need to face the fact that a SCAMMER (the pastor) and a STRANGE man (still the pastor) exerts more INFLUENCE in your marriage than you do. And ask yourself whether you still want to be in that marriage.

A strange man holds the remote control to your relationship. Your marriage subsists by his will. Are you okay with that?

NEXT, she is blatantly MANIPULATING you without remorse. You are NOT responsible for the complications that led to the C-Section. Even if it's because the baby is too big because you are a big man, it's still NOT your fault.

Her eyes were wild open when she CHOSE to marry you and have your child. If it's yours, that is.

STOP letting her use child birth as an ammo for manipulating you. Because if you capitulate today, you best belive she'll NEVER stop. Next she'll weaponise the child.

Then her next pregnancy would be a NUCLEAR weapon. Everything you previously disagreed on would be tabled again UNTIL she has her way. Maybe she'll demand you DONATE your house to her pastor and rent a room and parlour for yourself.

Put your foot down and DON'T even compromise. Don't allow her pastor to be involved in ANYWAY when it comes to naming the child unless DNA proves the child is his.
[/quote]

My dear you are the problem in your home, what is your family decision still doing in your home?

You keep saying your family ,your family this is wrong, your new family is you and your wife, the two of you should start attending one church, different from that of your family, so that all things can be done there .


Your family do not have right to decide where naming is done and where Thanksgiving should be done .


Will your child start going to your family church?

Please put your home in order, and focus on your new family .

Get a Bible believing church, close to your house where you can attend with your family daily .

Some churches have branches everywhere, even if you want to continue with your family church, look for a branch close to you and your wife, that is different from the branch your parents are going and start attending


Put your house inorder .

Concerning the naming, party belongs to women, she might pick her church because she want all her church members to be there that is women for you.

Reason the two of you should start attending one church it is very important .

Leave your mother and father church, start your own with your wife.















quote author=BlindAngel post=131021173]


That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready. [/quote]

Let her pastor be part, it gives women joy and honour in their church, besides more pastors can attend .

Let your parent come with their own pastors ,and let her pastor be there also

You can bring I million pastors to naming no problem

Hope you are not planning to go do it in your parent house ?

It should be done in your house please be a man and stop allowing your parent have say in your marriage .

Lol

You are about to make the biggest mistake of your life , you brought your marital issues to a platform full of damaged men, calling themselves Alpha male and you think they are in best positions to advice you?


You will regreat this trust me ,I am not your wife but I am telling you that you will regreat your actions .

Most of the people advicing you do not have a wife at home, some are in their 5th marriage, some are single

Some are even doing better or tolerating more from their wives .
But are here dishing advice and you want to take it?

Calm down

It took me 8years to change my husband name , because most documents have my surname it was not easy.

Your marriage is new, take things one after the other .

Before you regreat.

Look for a counselor outside this place after your naming .

BlindAngel:



We both have agreed on the name, she suggested it and i agreed, though it pains me that I wasn't the one that came up with the name fully, but we've already agreed and changing my mind right now will lead to an heavy quarrel and lot's of endless crying from her. That I'm wicked and heartless that after we've both agreed, I changed things.

Seems u are not ready to be a man. U are a SIMPle man. U are a disgrace to brotherhood.

The love is not there , and you are not sexually attracted to her .



This is the problem of your marriage .


You do not love her and you are not sexually attracted to her, so let her go.

Indeed you are a wicked man.













quote author=BlindAngel post=131022640]


This is what I intend doing, thanks for your advise, I will do as you advised as it's the absolutely best thing to do right now. Although I have already given in on letting her pastor officiate the naming because of her CS operation, for her cry not to affect her.

But after everything, she won't go to that church again and I swear to God that if she refused she will pack her load and go, after all the love isn't there and I'm not sexually attracted to her. Same tears she used in manipulating me in getting married to her is same tears she's still using in getting her way after every little misunderstanding. I will stop her from going to that church, I have had enough already. [/quote]

Caleycash:
Right thing is to follow him to his church not hers!, I wonder why you all love all these soft narratives, a man is tye leader of his home, I don't even pity men like him, he's obviously a very big SIMP!

Find a woman who loves her man to be totally inconsiderate of what she wants and you‘ll be ok. Good luck!

That's nonsense!

Be the man of your house... Stand your ground

As a father, you handle your child during the naming ceremony and pronounce the names as it is done in the bible. The pastor can say his own prayers and officiate things but the naming of the child i.e. the pronouncements should be done e by you whilst you or your wife carries the baby....

Don't loose your cool over this.

Allow whichever pastor to officiate things but you must name your child and bless him or her first before any pastor does. That is one of the god-given fatherly authorities the Creator has given you over your children. Exercise it! The pastor can officiate but can't take over your fatherly authorities

BlindAngel:



This is what I intend doing, thanks for your advise, I will do as you advised as it's the absolutely best thing to do right now. Although I have already given in on letting her pastor officiate the naming because of her CS operation, for her cry not to affect her.

But after everything, she won't go to that church again and I swear to God that if she refused she will pack her load and go, after all the love isn't there and I'm not sexually attracted to her. Same tears she used in manipulating me in getting married to her is same tears she's still using in getting her way after every little misunderstanding. I will stop her from going to that church, I have had enough already.

Your last paragraph says alot about you and the reason your wife is using tears to get to you. I pity ladies that force themselves on a man.

You wrote my mind.
DNA before Naming. No DNA No Naming.... His wife is a suspect.

Namaster:
First of all, do you mean she wants her pastor to CHOOSE the name of your baby or OFFICIATE the naming ceremony?

Secondly, do a DNA test to confirm rhat you'll not be raising the bastard son of her pastor. This woman obviously WORSHIPS her pastor. It's not UNIMAGINABLE that she's tendered her pussy as offering one or two times.

Next you need to face the fact that a SCAMMER (the pastor) and a STRANGE man (still the pastor) exerts more INFLUENCE in your marriage than you do. And ask yourself whether you still want to be in that marriage.

A strange man holds the remote control to your relationship. Your marriage subsists by his will. Are you okay with that?

NEXT, she is blatantly MANIPULATING you without remorse. You are NOT responsible for the complications that led to the C-Section. Even if it's because the baby is too big because you are a big man, it's still NOT your fault.

Her eyes were wild open when she CHOSE to marry you and have your child. If it's yours, that is.

STOP letting her use child birth as an ammo for manipulating you. Because if you capitulate today, you best belive she'll NEVER stop. Next she'll weaponise the child.

Then her next pregnancy would be a NUCLEAR weapon. Everything you previously disagreed on would be tabled again UNTIL she has her way. Maybe she'll demand you DONATE your house to her pastor and rent a room and parlour for yourself.

Put your foot down and DON'T even compromise. Don't allow her pastor to be involved in ANYWAY when it comes to naming the child unless DNA proves the child is his.

BlindAngel:



We both have agreed on the name, she suggested it and i agreed, though it pains me that I wasn't the one that came up with the name fully, but we've already agreed and changing my mind right now will lead to an heavy quarrel and lot's of endless crying from her. That I'm wicked and heartless that after we've both agreed, I changed things.

You're not yet matured to get married.
Know this and know peace.
Even as I read your responses,I dey wish you're not my relation.
Oga let's rest here abeg!