BlindAngel:

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

It is obvious your wife has known your mumu button to be her cry..
She will keep crying till you do what is not your will to do..
She knows you will just fume and grunt but nothing will come out of it than you do her will on whatever matter you guys are arguing about.

Be wise mr man.. Stop being a blindangel

Please allow the real father of the child to do the naming ceremony, or didnt you get her drift?

BlindAngel:



That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

u mumu small o. so she used tears to make u marry her...and now the same tears to allow her pastor to name the child...
are u the man in the marriage or not?.
if u ain't. let her have her way but if u are the man, whatever u say stands...
Be the Man

Your wife seems to be manipulative and stubborn, you may need to address this after the ceremony, let her know you are not happy with her.
But there is always a problem with you. Twice you mentioned what your family wanted. Your family want their pastor to officiate naming ceremony, your family made you guys do thanksgiving in their own church. Feels like you didn't care much about these things till your family members step in. You need to be careful, don't allow your family member live their lives through you.

BlindAngel:



This is what I intend doing, thanks for your advise, I will do as you advised as it's the absolutely best thing to do right now. Although I have already given in on letting her pastor officiate the naming because of her CS operation, for her cry not to affect her.

But after everything, she won't go to that church again and I swear to God that if she refused she will pack her load and go, after all the love isn't there and I'm not sexually attracted to her. Same tears she used in manipulating me in getting married to her is same tears she's still using in getting her way after every little misunderstanding. I will stop her from going to that church, I have had enough already.

You have to be the Man.

fight this nonsense manipulation.

you started wrongly, but it's not too late...

Uncle beat her to her game. Let the two pastors be on ground that day. On the day of the naming, before the program starts call the two pastors aside appreciate them for coming, introduce them to each other and inform them of the arrangement you want. Let her pastor give the sermon and assign your own pastor to do the naming rite. Shikena. Of course your wife should not be there when discussing with them. [sub][/sub]

Foodqueen:


Your mama head no correct

Young lady why are you insulting me, I only ask you questions. Haaa

BlindAngel:



This is what I intend doing, thanks for your advise, I will do as you advised as it's the absolutely best thing to do right now. Although I have already given in on letting her pastor officiate the naming because of her CS operation, for her cry not to affect her.

But after everything, she won't go to that church again and I swear to God that if she refused she will pack her load and go, after all the love isn't there and I'm not sexually attracted to her. Same tears she used in manipulating me in getting married to her is same tears she's still using in getting her way after every little misunderstanding. I will stop her from going to that church, I have had enough already.

what do you mean by you are not sexually attracted to her. Wasn't she your wife.

Leemzyy:
Lol so this is what i taught you right? its cause not curse, and its catch not cash

please stop confusing me

BlindAngel:




It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

OMO. not taking your surname shows she clearly does not regard you. it's sad. i know you love her that is why you have allowed all of this to happen but believe me it is time to end all this bullshit you have been taking in the name of i love my wife or i want peace to reign. Baba she has to earn your trust. you need to do that DNA asap make your case no be like others that has unknowingly raise another man"s children. Them no dey telli person. the decision is yours. either you find out now or later. later might be too late.

Hadassah4chi:
Uncle beat her to her game. Let the two pastors be on ground that day. On the day of the naming, before the program starts call the two pastors aside appreciate them for coming, introduce them to each other and inform them of the arrangement you want. Let her pastor give the sermon and assign your own pastor to do the naming rite. Shikena. Of course your wife should not be there when discussing with them. [sub][/sub]

I think this is one of the best advice for you.

Bro, you have married her, she no longer belong to that church or has anything like my pastor, she is now a member of your church, for the sake of peace let her have her way this time but place stand your grounds else this woman go show you shege banza....... Say no to teary manipulations

BlindAngel:



Thanks for your input, what I actually meant is that she insist on her pastor officiating the naming ceremony. Which she's always crying endlessly whenever we start arguing about It.

BlindAngel:




It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

It's a family issue so I don't think I should meddle into it but for the fact you shared here means our input if needful.

I have read and i understood your plight but pls, don't let peoples take in this issue ruin your family, work on how to make your home a happy home and care less about those frivolities you are bringing up .

It's not greener anywhere sir , allow her heal , let her pastor name the child

BlindAngel:



If only you know the daily cry, you would understand why I bowed to the pressure of getting married to her, which I'm still regretting until date everytime I think that I'm married to someone that I don't love, and worst still not sexually attracted to, it hurts me a lot everytime I think about it, our marriage is just 4 months and I have already started regretting everytime I think that I'm married and I don't have 1% love for who I'm married to, it would still be good if I'm sexually attracted to her, but I'm not. I'm so deeply hurt.

OMO, una two no come this earth together.
if she is not the wife you want. the wife of your dreams. baba divorce her asap. las las you go just dey pay child support and na wetin you fit afford you go payas a responsible man.
do you know the joy of waking up every morning to see that you married the woman you so desired. and who gives you peace.

Baba you only live life once. make your decisions to always be WHAT YOU WANT nobody follow you come, none will follow you go.

USE YOUR HEAD.

No matter the level of love I have for you. I can't marry someone who is not ready to go to my church

We were at this stage sometimes ago. Trust me it didn’t end well.

BlindAngel:



That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

BlindAngel:



That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

My brother, your problem in this marriage is much more than officiating the Child Naming. From what you said , you have a very big and endemic problem.

How can you be married and your wife is still attending a different church, what did you discuss during courtship (before marriage)?

How come for about a year of your marriage, you have not met the Pastor of your wife, and he is the one coming to officially name your child.

You did your thanksgiving at your parents church, what happened to your own church, that is actually where your problem started.

It is obvious you have other critical things you didnt discuss and settle before now, and with the way she is manipulating you with her tears and emotional blackmail, you will need critical wisdom and emotional maturity to go about it.

After the naming and her CS healing, call her to sit and start afresh discussing and settling critical family/marriage issues, such the church, dealing with families/in-laws etc. Be calm but assertive, make her know that it is in the best interest of the marriage and family.

The earlier the better.

faithfull18:
Be careful of bad advice, this issue isn't a big deal. Both of you are suppose to be attending the same Church to begin with.

And there's nothing wrong with her retaining her maiden name, what were you guys talking about during courtship Or you just got her pregnant Changing maiden name in Nigeria is stressful and not everybody is ready to go through it.

I have been searching to see comments from (F) gender which I know fully well it's gonna be the other way round. My dear sister, this is M matter and we need to GUIDE the camrade before his matter would be like that of MOH. Cuz you guys can be very dangerous and manipulative. Cases of BASTARDS don too much for una generation.

Do not use that Pastor - he go insult you tire - based on her whisperings to him.

Heaven knows the kind of names they go hijack you with during the service.

They will name your boy....Messi Higuain Adeleke despite you having another list of preferred names.

My guy.... when she cries again (this is emotional acting by the way, some Nigerian women are advanced at this shit) - ask her to collect tears to feed your plantain suckers in the garden. No chills!


Las, las, everything go settle or her papa house she go see

The problem I see with your situation is that you have not been able to establish who is in charge in your marriage, when a woman becomes a wife, she has to submit herself to the authority of her husband, so says all the holy books. your wife obviously hasn't done that.
She would attend your church and submit whatever worship you do.
You make this clear for her and I assure you, heaven will not fall. Stop it while you can before it becomes an even bigger issue.
Note, The Pastor she wants to use sef suppose ask her if you are ok with it but all these Una pastors, na scammer them being.

[quote author=BlindAngel post=131021173]


That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready. [/quote Do I have to remind you tone the man? She's very manipulative. Stand your ground.