BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Maeve7:


Find a woman who loves her man to be totally inconsiderate of what she wants and you‘ll be ok. Good luck!

Bliztzer:


Ask her whether na her pastor pay the hospital bill, whether she is married to pastor and whether the child belong to the pastor?

As me o, na no no. If she can't give a enough reason why her pastor must be the one to name my child. Na no. No dey say yes, yes to everything wey woman demand.

BlindAngel:



Whenever I throw up the question about the hospital bills and even the things that I bought for the naming ceremony, her answer is always the same "always saying that if the money I spend is greater than the pain she went through to birth our child, that she did a huge sacrifice for me and I'm ungrateful.

Caleycash:
NO!, it takes a woman who's submissive!, going to your man's church is very prime, depicts you're following his leadership, lots of men out there are are idiots, what she wants is invalid when you actually cares for her and you both kids, if you're not doing well she won't even be there with you in the first place!

Maeve7:


Please find this submissive woman whose wants are invalid to you and let other men and women run their homes based on mutual respect. May we all be happy. Bye!

BlindAngel:



Whenever I throw up the question about the hospital bills and even the things that I bought for the naming ceremony, her answer is always the same "always saying that if the money I spend is greater than the pain she went through to birth our child, that she did a huge sacrifice for me and I'm ungrateful.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Corniche:
Pray she does contrary to your order and divorce her.
You still have lots of years ahead of you to be in a bad marriage.
She has giving birth to your child, make she just be your baby mama.

You are a man, you can still marry again.
You are a man that doesn't want stress for your life, so you deserve that peace in your home.

Caleycash:
A woman's wants is not invalid, there are right ways of doing things, once married you ought to follow your husband to his church or better don't even marry him!, that's where he fvcked up!, and FYI I've found a submissive wife that's submissive to my will and I love her so much, women like you don't deserve marriage, I can't even imagine idiots marrying rebellious women like you, bye bye!

BlindAngel:



That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

Namaster:


My dude, you STARTED your marriage with a big bang of premium fuuuck up!

This woman has ZERO regard for you. She DOES NOT respect or love you. Probably doesn't even like you. You are just an expense account to this woman.

Any woman who has a MODICUM of respect for her husband would be EAGER to take his name. A couple of weeks ago, we all read about how Diezani Allison-Madueke's ex-husband, Allison Amaechina Madueke, took her to court just to get to STOP using his name after divorce.

That woman served as a Minister under 2 different Presidents before she became the first female President of OPEC. Yet she took NOT one but TWO of her husbands name.

But your wife (probably a stay-at-home wife) REFUSED to take your name and you still went along with the wedding.

You started on the WRONG track.

FIRST thing you need to do now is get a DNA test for that boy to confirm it's yours. Because the series of disrespect and disregard your wife has displayed towards you makes it highly UNLIKELY that she'd let you get her pregnant.

Ypu already spent #400K on the kid so find money for the DNA test. And do it ASAP before you sink in MORE money into raising her pastor's kid.

Meantime, put a STOP to every manipulation. Don't let her dictate ANYTHING or manipulate her way through anything. Even with tears, don't give in!

DMerciful:
My wife followed me to my church even before marriage.

Men behaving like sissies

Bliztzer:


Ask her whether na her pastor pay the hospital bill, whether she is married to pastor and whether the child belong to the pastor?

As me o, na no no. If she can't give a enough reason why her pastor must be the one to name my child. Na no. No dey say yes, yes to everything wey woman demand.

VTJN:
no law stipulate a woman should go to her husband place of worship. Vice versa. There are families that practices different religion and they both live in peace. You want submissive wife that you don't genuinely love as mandated by God or don't you know love is superior than submission?

VTJN:
your wife followed you to your church doesn't make you superior or better than others. My uncle and wife worship in different churches and their marriage is 29 last month. Stop imposing your own way on others. The world doesn't revolve around you

Caleycash:
Keep deceiving yourself, since it's superior why don't you play your own part which is easier to do??, follow the Bible fully, don't quote only where that suits you

DMerciful:
You're commenting without appreciating the contest that my comment was made.

What is the Op's issue on this,his wife wanted her pastor to do the baby dedication while he wants his pastor. Your uncle might not see this as a problem for 29yrs because he might not care which pastor does it. Insofar the Op care, then better for them to be in same church

VTJN:
And if the wife insist? What do you suggest for peace to reign? You suggest divorce right? Because of a place to worship?

DMerciful:
Where did I suggest divorce?

BlindAngel:



Whenever I throw up the question about the hospital bills and even the things that I bought for the naming ceremony, her answer is always the same "always saying that if the money I spend is greater than the pain she went through to birth our child, that she did a huge sacrifice for me and I'm ungrateful.

CosmicJames:


The brother is weak and the wife knows it.
Have you heard of a blind Angel before?
That's the name @Op choose to answer.

tosyne2much:
That's why it's good to always keep friends with good advisers. Those who are never afraid to tell you the bitter truth and destroy whatever illusions you might be having

If you had such friends that are always there to wake you from your slumber, your marital journey wouldn't have gone this way

BlindAngel:




It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

ayando:


Are you for real?
Like she still bears her surname? Hmmm....there is a big problem man..

BlindAngel:



We had an argument few weeks ago and she was crying as usual, she was still pregnant then. I told her that she's always using her tears to manipulate me and she swore with the life of the fetus on her womb that she isn't, since then I thought maybe she doesn't know when the tears start flowing and might not be manipulating me, but with what I saw yesterday after the argument, that thought is no longer there, I now fully believe that she's manipulating me with tears at every slight arguments or quarrels.

Regarding her changing her name, this is one thing I have swore never and ever to tell her to do, even though it hurts me to my bone marrow most especially seeing her elder sister on Facebook answering her boyfriend name. I swear that it hurts me so much that she is still answering her father's name but I won't ever confront her about this, common sense is supposed to tell her that immediately after marriage she's supposed to change her surname to my own name, even if it's just her Facebook name for the now. But no, she didn't, she registered for antinental with her surname, and that's why the money I paid for her CS has her name and surname on the receipt.