Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally - Romance - Nairaland
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| Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 10:46am On Feb 13, 2012 |
Hi ALL, i am actually one of the old members on nairaland, but i decided to use another id, to avoid being known and eaten by the wolfs in this forum. Ok, here is my problem, i am a pretty, easy going lady and very jovial, but the thing is i don't have a bf or relationship not that i am not worth the trouble but all my male friends always end up seeing me as their pally or best friend, someone they can always talk to and confide in, and seriously it is beginning to worry me. some of them even tell me openly that they would not mind having me as their girlfriends or getting married to someone like me, ONLY IF THEY WERE NOT ALREADY HOOKED. my question now is, why do they always see me like that ? why can't they see me for the lady that i am or chase me or want to have me as a gf or wife ? how do i stop this contineous best friend and confidant thing ? for heavens sake i also have feelings, i always be the one helping them solve their relationship issues with thier girl friends or is there something wrong with me that i don't know of ?. i really hope to get good advice or help from here , so that i can stop all this best friend thing and a guy would really approach me for me and wants to be with me, and not looking for a pally, best friend or confidant. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Acidosis(m): 11:14am On Feb 13, 2012 |
There is nothing wrong with you ma'am. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Chnges(m): 11:36am On Feb 13, 2012 |
@OP, (1) nxt time they visit, wear a hottie cloth. When i mean hottie, i mean sexy wears and during your discussions, look deep in his eyes. Just make sure you look extremely sexy. (2) who knows, they might have strong feelings for you, but may be afraid to propose that to you because they went into the wrong track of making you know they take you as their best friend. I've experienced this before. So my adv. Is; feel free, appear easy-going, and always try to be receptive without formings. I think they'll definitely make moves. N/B: Get ready cos they may want to Bleep you and build it from there. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by iceblock(m): 12:04pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Spot on bro, Exactly wetin i be wan talk u talk so.  |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 12:07pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@ ch@nges Thanks for that, you just made me feel better, but i am also waiting for more comments from other Nlders. So my adv. Is; feel free, appear easy-going, and always try to be receptive without formings. i already do all these and i don't form, thats why they even see me as their confidant and besty and can say everything to. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Chnges(m): 12:22pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Ok. Why not start being uncomfortable while discussing about their girlfriends. Add it up with my prev. post and try it. I think they'll start deviating from the 'gf-solution conversation' and may switch over to a romantic conversation/topic(this can be triggered by your dressing. Dress to kill & not to impress) |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Nobody: 12:32pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
is dat the real queen of hearts?  anyway madam queen make u stop to dey wear sackcloth and 1925 type of shoes and if u follow my advice u go see husband b4 this year runs out |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by iceblock(m): 12:42pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
The truth is dat MOST guyz no dey DEY comfortable with babe wey too tear eye. Or maybe u dey too authoritative. Take a trip down ur inna most mind and search,u will find the answers to ur worries dat is if you are sincere to urself.  |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 1:23pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
lefulefu: Sorry, i am not the same queen of hearts that you know, so don't make assumptions, because you don't know me, at the same time, i am not surprise cos i have been reading other funny and irrelevant comments from you on other topics. iceblock: i am not any of the bloded, i have even tried asking most of them, and the reply is always NO and infact thats one of the many reasons they find it very easy to talk to me or see me as their confidant, i have thought about it several times and can't come up with any answer thats why i am here, i have looked inward too. and i am sincere. if not i will not be here. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by webcam(m): 2:26pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@Queen of heart WHAT AGE GROUP ARE YOU?WHAT IS UR TRIBE?ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOUR LIFE PARTNER IS ON THE WAY, FROM YOU COMMENT HERE NOTHING HAPPEN TO YOU |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Nobody: 2:30pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
queen of heart do away with ur sackcloth.no sane man want a woman wey dey dress like masqurade |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 2:40pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
webcam: @ webcam, thanks for the encouragement do you have any more tips for me ? by the way, i am in my mid-twenties. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by iceblock(m): 3:08pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Just relax and be urself. No need to worry much. e never reach ur turn. When your turn reach,you go get pass wetin u want. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 3:17pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@ Iceblock Thanks for the encouragement. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by arrived(m): 3:47pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Op, send me e-mail, me sef no get girlfriend. Besides, you know, the way some guys think could be very funny. Some guys might think 'you know too much' and would rather have u as a friend. But me i like it when a girl knows plenty! Op, you need to check your dress sense too, it's important! |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Oluwa4Sure: 4:03pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
OP!!! I think you should work on you conversation!!! or the type of things you talk about. I'm sure that's were the problem lye's if you say "hello" to his or her respond will give you a clue what to say next i.e if to say i like you or to say sorry, i wasn't talking to you, I believe your conversation is more of the type that encourage friendship rather than relationship. GUY: Hello how you doing YOU: I'm cool, how you doing? and how was your nyte?(with a sexy bedroom voice) GUY  heart beats fast *coughs* hmmm. . . fine, & yours?YOU: fine - was just thinkin about you when you called GUY: ** faints twice** The you add this to the above point by Ch@nges - I see no changes all i see is racist faces wake up in the morning and I ask myself. . . - 2pac |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Oluwa4Sure: 4:11pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
NB: Abeg no snatch anybody bf oo Just dress hot(to kill) and try to visit some some friends toward evening time( try to do some walking too while on you way! I.e don't take cab or car from your house to your friends house) You can break the journey, do some 15mins walking out of it. So that you can be seen Also, note places you meet people can really affect! You don't expect your friends bf to try making advances to you or brother friend(because most good one's wont want to) so try new peeps. This days most guys that stops you on the street, in a fast food(TFC and so) always want sometin more than friendship!!! |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by henryhemon(m): 4:23pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@queen heart, you are perfectly ok. They r just scared of you,most relationship fail cuz we don't start as frens first. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 4:24pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@ Oluwa4sure Thanks you have good points and i am enjoying the way you put it out with humour. its just that, most of the time, my job takes alot of my time, and you don't expect me to be taking a walk by 6 am in lagos when trying to go to work and most times i close late and scared of taking the risk of my bag being snatched or worse. i rarely go out for lunch too cos we have a good kitchen in the office or we just call on phone and have our order delivered to the office. how would i even know when a guy wants more than friendship rather than a confidant or best friend. why do i always have to be the best friend. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Dede1(m): 4:41pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@OP What is the level of your ugliness? Humans do not know the level of their ugliness until a person, in some cases opposite sex, tells them in no uncertain terms that they are ugly. Also some people are not wife materials so there is no need to even start a friendship which could lead to a discussion of wedlock. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 5:00pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Dede1: @ Dede1 please if you don't have any reasonable contribution to add, i will advice you go and sleep, and i can confidently tell you that i am prettier than any girl you have ever dated or still dating, i am pretty, confident, smart and up the professional ladder in my choosen career and command respect in the office environment and is admired for my achievements,most especially since my field was mostly male dominated until ladies started taking the bull by the horn . and for your information, even most of my male friends( 70% ) prefer going out with me to functions and other fun places rather than their girlfriends, maybe to boost their confidence and since i am very good with conversations, it helps them too, they never get bored with me. so stay on the point, all i notice is i am always the best friend and confidant and the fun to be with person but not a relationship of my own. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Killz3(m): 5:16pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@ Dede1  |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Oluwa4Sure: 5:17pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Queen of heart: I believe you were listening to what most of the guys said on here!!!! If you try to adjust accordingly, I'm sure this same you will be back to ask/beg us to tell you whom to choose from(wishing you the best) Again, let me mention that, sometimes, there are something you do just to fulfill all righteousness!!!! There are sometimes I had to drive out, maybe to feed my eyes(see some beautiful girl) or to get someone I want to hook up with !!!!!!What I'm saying is that, you are a very beautiful girl(I agreeeeeeeeee ) but you needto come out of that closet. Showcase what you have. Let them guys see you!!!! because from my understanding gurl, you are only moving around people close to you(colleague, church members, childhood friends, brothers friends and so on). This people will hardly woo you(especially when they know they don want to marry you or have a good plan for you!) they already have the feeling that at best you guys can only be friends. So go girl - get a fresh kill!!!! [size=5pt]and I'm comin with!!![/size] |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 5:40pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
~Killz~: |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Queenofheart: 5:42pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@ Oluwa4sure thanks so much. i will start learning with the tips you have given. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Killz3(m): 5:45pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
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| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by Amya(f): 6:02pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@OP. I actually understand how you feel because I'm going through the same thing. But I really don't bother about it because I know I don't have a problem. It's there loss. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by arrived(m): 6:49pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Amya, upon all your shakara on 'is it right for him to foot her bill's thread', so u no get boyfriend. Shio! |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by omega25red(m): 6:50pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
poster you said you are in a male dominated field of work? This might be the issue because once you become one of the boys it would be hard for the guys you work with to see you as more than one of the boys. Try meeting men in other places other than at work (im assuming this is where you meet most of your guy friends) and just be yourself the right guy will come along |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by henryhemon(m): 6:54pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
@amya,so u kept ur mouth shut abi na nw u come d tel us. There r many men out there lukn 4 ladies like u n poster,me inclusive bt we cnt find ur kind cuz u re hiding. |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by ademutiu: 7:57pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Sincerely, its a good thing that you have come here to seek advise. To start with, i want to assure you that the right man is on the way so be calm. In situatn like this, its advisable you look inward, u may think you are doing everything right but you maybe wrong. Its either you dont act like you need one or your career is taking the best part of you. Please dnt allow your career to becloud your sense of reasoning as it may be the ultimate but can it give you all the happenes? Ur weekends maybe tight, try using ur hols and leave judiciously especialy in fun areas. Also when talking dnt form like you knw it all and people's opinion count less. I was in ur shoes some years ago, but four years ago i met my gf online and she's the best thing that has ever happen to me. Which you the best lass |
| Re: Why Am I Always Seen As A Pally by iceblock(m): 6:35am On Feb 14, 2012 |
@Queen of heart How do u expect to meet or see something new when u always frequent same place? Gone ar dos days moi-moi do drops from the sky. With ur fine natural assets intact, believe me,you will attract plenty big big fish if you apply wisely some of the beau contributed tips here, trust us,everything is gon be super fine with you in the nearestes future. I wish u Safe journey. [size=3pt]You no get problem at all.[/size] |
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