for all those telling u to go to court, well its nt that easy cos no court will grant u custody of a new born when nothing is wrong wit the mother medically so i will advise u to be careful in dealing with the issue so as nt to lose them both

The best advice is for you to look at where you can be seen your wife secretly and try to convince her. Also you can try to look for her best friend who can freely visit their house whom you can trust that she can work with you truthfully to help you convince her. The mother in laws nowadays are terrible but that is when your pocket is dry. If your pocket have oil trust me you will enjoy best of marriage and rule your in laws. May God help us.

Even if that were the case, it's not reason enough for a mother to meddle in her daughter's marriage and walk her out of it.
If it's that bad, the daughter should be able to make the decision herself. . .
If she lacks the capacity to, then she had no business getting married in the first place.

Poster,
Go over to your MIL's place and get your baby by fire - by force. . .Your wife can remain with her mother if she wants.

God Bless you for this post which is far more realistic than all the other gender supporting posts.

Too many mothers in nigeria doent know the meaning and concept of marriage. They love manipulating their daughter's marriage from the start.
I had a similar experience the woman virtually decides what the daughter (who was then my fiancee) says to me. Well being a self styled soldier, i tried to let the girl know that every decission should come from me and her but she woukd bulge. To her, the mum was the star in the relationship, not even her. Well i sent her packing.

Mr Naijaklef,

Give me your wife's phone number lets talk with her.
If you have offended her, we will plead on your behalf and you have to REPENT.
If you did not commit any offence, we will let her know that her PLACE is with you, not in her mother's house.

A wise family friend once said to us, some years back that " when you (to the single man) are looking for a wife, first find out who/what her mum is"
Some MIL are something else.

every girl wnts to settle down.for ur wife to leave u in such manner means d fault is frm u(simple logic). it tink u hav refused to change datz y ur mil had to interfere.pls dnt com here nd play d saint Go nd appologise to ur wife nd promise to change. U wil c d result instantly frm both she nd ur mil.B WISE ND DO WATZ RITE.

@poster. I will first blame you, reason being you will definitely be treated based on how they see you. Honestly no one dare try this trash with me, hell will let lose same day. Anyway it is little sensitive because of your little daughter whose future is very important. Kindly approach ur MIL and made her understand she tresspasing into ur family life. There must be at least one sensible elderly man among ur in- laws. talk to him about it things will surely get better. good luck

sandiyke:

every girl wnts to settle down.for ur wife to leave u in such manner means d fault is frm u(simple logic). it tink u hav refused to change datz y ur mil had to interfere.pls dnt com here nd play d saint Go nd appologise to ur wife nd promise to change. U wil c d result instantly frm both she nd ur mil.B WISE ND DO WATZ RITE.

Flawed logic!   

Sam Milla:

Too many mothers in nigeria doent know the meaning and concept of marriage. They love manipulating their daughter's marriage from the start.

True!

It's obvious that you must have made lots of mistakes the very first 1 is having your MIL living with you and observing all the shit you must have been doing to her daughter, I am sure you know best on these things committed by you because no mother in-law will do what she did for no reason even if she was a Witch.

OP how old are you?

Get one of these and go get your baby back, ediot.


http://www.uzi.com/firearms.html

More Info on this:

At the hospital, I spoke to her when this problem started that we should go back home,
, that i will get her a private midwife or a nurse that would be take good care of her,in addition to a standard maternity hospital that she has access to.
i also assured her, that i will tell my family members to stay away, likewise, she should tell all her family members to stay away, but she refused.

Right now, the church has intervened but they still not cooperating, with the church!
The Question is, Is there anything that I could have done to her and family that wld warrant taking my wife and my child away?
                          , Is there anything that i could have done that wld warrant not cooperating with the church, elders and people?

I have kept my cool because i respected the elders and the church,

Virtuous Woman:

Mr Naijaklef,

Give me your wife's phone number lets talk with her.
If you have offended her, we will plead on your behalf and you have to REPENT.
If you did not commit any offence, we will let her know that her PLACE is with you, not in her mother's house.

A wise family friend once said to us, some years back that " when you (to the single man) are looking for a wife, first find out who/what her mum is"
Some MIL are something else.

@virtuous woman,
Thanks. I doubt if she wld cooperate with you.

Just leave the wife and the new baby for the MIL.

It's better to have bad wife than having bad inlaws.

texazzpete:

May God bless you for this wise post. In fact, I would have thrown in a squad of OPC or NURTW workers as the second wave just after MOPOL depart.
No need to start begging, just use 'Shock and awe' to overcome all opposition. Once you seize the baby the mother will come along.  

baby-boy:

Oh common! Its not a "Banana Republic" or Gangs of New York"

that is exactly what nigeria is. . . .a banana republic.
a country where you would be taken advantage of if you decided to stay cool.
how can any mother in law take my baby. was she the one that impregnated her?

Sometimes people go into a marriage with their eyes close! I know of 2 guys whose relationship with their girlfriends ended because of the family interference
One broke up because his financee's sisters asked him to buy them pizza and he refused and he heard in the background while speaking on the phone, the sisters tell his fiancee to dump him refering him to a "Pauper" and the other one the ladies mother wanted him buy an outfit the family were going to wear at a family members naming ceremony, but because he didnt they started piliing pressure on the girl to leave the guy, eventually the girl cracked,

10 years on both guys are happily married both ladies are still going from one man to another with children
all I could say is that some patterns do develop among family members which people dont take notice off at the early stage  it reminds me of the movie YOUR MARRIAGE - OUR WEDDING!!

even if i had allowed family interference out of total respect for my in-laws, they still don't have the right to take my baby away from me.
in nigeria of all places? heads would roll. what the poster needs is a shock factor. begging and pleading here n there would not work.
what's the essence of begging when they have already disrespected my manhood?

he should go there with MOPOL - fire gunshots in the air - break the gates and retrieve the babe.
put the mother-in-law in the van and level charges of kidnapping against her.
she won't try such nonsense again ever in her life.

Hmm

Lexoria:

To all u guys saying he should go get his child,are u listening to urself?Who said its only his child,the wife also has a right to child too.Who breastfeeds the child when he gets the child,the guy?Even if he goes to court,based on the baby's age,custody will be awarded to the wife.
@OP,pls tell us the truth about this whole story,something is amiss

Well, one assumes that if he gets the child, the woman will follow. He has indicated a desire to remain in marriage with the woman so I feel this is the best approach  

coogar:

he should go there with MOPOL - fire gunshots in the air - break the gates and retrieve the babe.
put the mother-in-law in the van and level charges of kidnapping against her.
she won't try such nonsense again ever in her life.

Leave them, how can someone be asking the man to start groveling and begging for his inlaws for his own child? After now, they will start bullying him at the slightest opportunity.

If only the OP can summon the balls to follow your plan to the letter. All these hungry MOPOL sef, you know how they hate hearing stories like this one. I'm sure even 30K will suffice.

By the time they lock up this his in-law for 2 weeks and feed her once a day with only beans wey never don, dem go begin beg the man.

I didnt have time to read all the posts here but i wanna ask, ''WHERE IS UR OWN MOTHER, ?''

Lexoria:

To all u guys saying he should go get his child,are u listening to urself?Who said its only his child,the wife also has a right to child too.Who breastfeeds the child when he gets the child,the guy?Even if he goes to court,based on the baby's age,custody will be awarded to the wife.
@OP,pls tell us the truth about this whole story,something is amiss

You  really don't know what you are talking about.

kidnapping is a crime irrespective of  who commits it.

@OP

Just get a lawyer sue both mother and daughter for kidnapping your son.

Get your child back, while they go to jail.

Simple.

you should consider marrying another wife because you don't have a wife. The one u have now is not a wife.

If it goes to court, who would they award the child?


Lets say they award the Child to the Hubby, Would the Lady be coming once a week to breat feed the child?

The guy should forget about the wife, but should be able to see his child

Custody over a child (no a baby) is not the case at the moment because best option would be the mother, yes they could throw the mother in law in prison for kidknapping but the child would always stay with the mum,

All the John McCain approach (send in NATO/ ECOMOG attitude) is not needed,

The truth is that we've witnessed so many homes destroyed as a result of external interferance. I have friends who listened to their mother's advice and made the mistake of moving out of their matrimonial homes and today with all their wealth they are single parents regreting their earlier actions. Even if the guy was maltreating his wife, it doesn't give the mother the right to cart her away from the hospital. They are married for goodness sake and should be able to sort their differences out so far no one's life is being threatened. There is no home today in Nigeria without issues and it takes two responsible adults to sort out their differences and move on. What the wife doesn't realise is that she will be at the loosing end if the guy decides to let her be. She should go and find out from those who have gone through that part before how easy it is to be a single parent or leaving in your mothers house after being married before.
A man can get remarry at 60 to any woman but its not so with women so the earlier we decide to ignore exterenal interferance from our marriages the better. Its obvious the poster loves her that is why he is going through different means to get her back. But if it doesn't work out, please and please move on with your life. Your child will difinitely come looking for you when the time comes.

baby-boy:

If it goes to court, who would they award the child?


Lets say they award the Child to the Hubby, Would the Lady be coming once a week to breat feed the child?

The guy should forget about the wife, but should be able to see his child

Custody over a child (no a baby) is not the case at the moment because best option would be the mother, yes they could throw the mother in law in prison for kidknapping but the child would always stay with the mum,

All the John McCain approach (send in NATO/ ECOMOG attitude) is not needed,

For me the man should just send his wife and MIL to jail.

There are alternatives to mothers breast-feeding.

For me the man should just send his wife and MIL to jail.

There are alternatives to mothers bosom-feeding.

REALLY!!!!!!!

emmatok:

You really don't know what you are talking about.

kidnapping is a crime irrespective of who commits it.

@OP

Just get a lawyer sue both mother and daughter for kidnapping your son.

Get your child back, while they go to jail.

Simple.

HE CAN DO THE BOLDED ONLY IF HE IS INNOCENT.

ronkebp:

HE CAN DO THE BOLDED ONLY IF HE IS INNOCENT.

And what crime did he comment.

You snatched my child and you asking if I am innocent.

Innocent of what?

emmatok:

And what crime did he comment.

You snatched my child and you asking if I am innocent.

Innocent of what?

Innocent of whatever the family is accusing him of.

Zilja:

The only way to solve a problem is to have a solution.

This man is seeking for advice . . . . .NOT to be scorn from you people.

Apparently if he had the answer he wouldn’t be on this thread asking for advice. What’s done is done and your silly questions are not helping him in any way.

Give the man some advice that he can use and not shred him to pieces.

You can start yourself, by giving him the advice he desperately needs.

ronkebp:

Innocent of whatever the family is accusing him of.

@ronkbp, I dey laugh ooooo,

WHO'S RULE DO DO I LIVE BY?    , MINE OR THEIRS?  
, ACCUSING OF ME OF LIVING BY MY OWN RULES OF RUNNING MY HOME?

Na wah for you ooooooo.

Naijaklef:

@ronkbp, I dey laugh ooooo,

WHO'S RULE DO DO I LIVE BY? , MINE OR THEIRS?
, ACCUSING OF ME OF LIVING BY MY OWN RULES OF RUNNING MY HOME?

Na wah for you ooooooo.

It depends on what the rules are, is your wife happy with those rules? this is not really about your MIL now, it is about your relationship with your wife. I can't imagine my mummy coming to scoop me up away from my hubby's home without a reason. Think about it too, you know whatsup, your wife is definitely not happy with some of your ''so-called'' rules.

Naijaklef:

@ronkbp, I dey laugh ooooo,

WHO'S RULE DO DO I LIVE BY? , MINE OR THEIRS?
, ACCUSING OF ME OF LIVING BY MY OWN RULES OF RUNNING MY HOME?

Na wah for you ooooooo.

@ronkebp, I lyk your response, i think you need to read my post again.

Question: if were your brother, , would u advice your brother to take instruction from his MIL?
, would u advice him to please your MIL at the expense of your home?
, would u advice him to give his salary to MIL when she doesnt aknowlegde or appreciate the little you give?

These are my rules,
These are the rules that made me a criminal abi?
, LOL!

ronkebp:

Innocent of whatever the family is accusing him of.

Whatever the the family is accusing him of does not justify their crime.

By the way did that family report those accusations to the police or Court?

It is only the court that can give anybody the right to take a child.

That mother and her daughter are criminals.