you have 2 options,

either you go the confrntational way, put your foot down, damn the consequenses and walk her out. just know that you have offended their family for life

on the other hand you can save your marriage from them by moving away with your wife.

the first mistake you made is that you dint put your foot down early enough. you should never let a woman or her family ride you, plenty girls dey outside there, desperate for husband. good girls self!

@ Poster, i wont advise you to go the confrontational route because after using force to get your baby and subsequently your wife back, the relationship between yourself and wifey would be very strained for a long long time because no woman would be happy for her husband to lock up/ intimidate her mother in that way.

On what to do to get your wife back, let me think about it and get back to you.

Thanks for reading.

ronkebp:

You can start yourself, by giving him the advice he desperately needs.

If I knew the laws of UR land, I probably would give him some sound advice.  I would contact him directly and not post it for all to see becase of its sensitivity.  

Not one of you lived in his house with him so you really don't know. You are reading and making nonsense accuations at him.  That only feeds the negative side of the post.

oradee:


I didnt have time to read all the posts here but i wanna ask, ''WHERE IS UR OWN MOTHER, ?''

@op just as oradee as said,WERE IS YOUR MOTHER
Secondly,do u smoke or drink? Or even beat your wife? Do you use abusive words on her? If you do any of this then you have created a big problem here cause you would have created more fear in her so she listend to her mum, she would have made her believe you would come home late and drunk and then beat her up,get the little baby injured in the process(that is if you drink or smoke). I see no reason why she would do such a thing if you dont do any of this. Then have you also considered if the child is truly yours?find out if the baby is yours,if the baby is yours then fight tooth an nail to get your child and make sure he or she will be well taken care of cause if you leave your child for then,i assure you that your child wunt get a good upbringing and might not recognise your as his or her father. As for your wife,she needs real prayers and delivrance,

Naijaklef:

@ronkebp, I lyk your response, i think you need to read my post again.
Question: if were your brother, , would u advice your brother to take instruction from his MIL?
, would u advice him to please your MIL at the expense of your home?
, would u advice him to give his salary to MIL when she doesnt aknowlegde or appreciate the little you give?

These are my rules,
These are the rules that made me a criminal abi?
, LOL!

What are her instructions?? don't get me wrong Naijaklef, the problem is more with your wife than your mother-in-law. You think your MIL is the problem, nope!!!! your wife is the problem, beacause if you are innocent as you claim, loving, loyal, caring to your wife and she inturn just packs and follows her mum, then she is at fault; you are at fault.

Moreso, your wife just put to bed( or why is she in the hospital), you should be thinking about her well-being and the baby's not for you to be concerned about your MIL attitudes. Who can take care of a child if not the mother? seriously? why are you angry that the her mother wants to take care of her daughter, do you know if she had complications during child birth, nope!!!! you are just bothered that she followed her mum home.

i wl advc u c go 2 d grl nd talk 2 ha,she is stl ur yf,smthn must b wrng .dnt assume shes ungrateful,sm1 who is stffd wv food cnt say he is hungry xcpt he is sick.so ur yf jus nids mre attentn.go 2 ha nd plead,tl ha its going 2 b fyn.dnt divorce,thnk of d baby,wuld u lyk ur chld 2 b 4rm a broken home.d trauma of dat nd d effcts besids d bible hates dat if u a xtian.tl ha u ms ha.jus try getn ha attentn nd show ure differnt,remind ha of wat u guys pland b4 marriage,4 d sake of d child. nd she wl cm bak.gdluck

ronkebp:

Moreso, your wife just put to bed( or why is she in the hospital), you should be thinking about her well-being and the baby's not for you to be concerned about your MIL attitudes.  Who can take care of a child if not the mother? seriously? why are you angry that the her mother wants to take care of her daughter, do you know if she had complications during child birth, nope!!!! you are just bothered that she followed her mum home.

You don't need to be sentimental here.

The MIL is a criminal and she has not stake in that family.

The MIL can take her daughter if she want, but that child's custody should be decided in court.

ronkebp:

What are her instructions?? don't get me wrong Naijaklef, the problem is more with your wife than your mother-in-law.  You think your MIL is the problem, nope!!!! your wife is the problem, beacause if you are innocent as you claim, loving, loyal, caring  to your wife and she inturn just packs and follows her mum, then she is at fault; you are at fault.

Thank you o! The way I see it, this is basically a case of marital separation where the wife has moved back with her mother, simple.

emmatok:

You don't need to be sentimental here.

The MIL is a criminal and she has not stake in that family.

The MIL can take her daughter if she want, but that child's custody should be decided in court.

Are you saying the MIL kidnapped the daughter against her own will? How did she do it? Did she tie her up? Drug her? Knock her unconscious with a baton? If the wife walked out of there on her own with her mother, then she chose to separate from her husband and live with her mother. Nothing illegal was done here. Could the MIL have influenced her decision? Yes, but the wife decided of her own free will to go live with her mother. OP needs to gain access to his wife and make amends with her.

emmatok:

You don't need to be sentimental here.

The MIL is a criminal and she has not stake in that family.

The MIL can take her daughter if she want, but that child's custody should be decided in court.

Emmatok, nope!! am not being sentimental, just saying it as i perceive it, i don't know what the MIL has done that is so wrong !!! she is protecting her daughter and grandchild and that is wrong her daughter just put to bed, whose mum does not take care of her daughter after she puts to bed in Naija, they usually go to the daughter's home, but if the atmosphere in the home is not conducive, then she has every right to want to go with her daughter. Now!! her daughters' agreeing to go with her is a different case.

Op Listen to me and listen well

I dont know what happened that led to that decision to take your baby away.

But this is what I would do.

I wont go to forcefully get my baby cos an infant straight from hospital needs the mothers care for a while, So the child needs to be with the mother

I would call the wife and ask her whats the reason for acting that way, If no genuine reason, I would give her an ultimatum to move back in, after the expiration of the ultimatum, The marriage is cancelled.

Get a court order for a divorce since she has abandoned her wifely duties, Thats easy to get.

Now wait till the child is weaned and can survive without the mother.

Now surprise them with a pickup of soldiers, area boys and every force you know in the world. Lock that MIL up for kidnapping your child.

Its Nigeria, If you have money you can get away with it

I wont go to forcefully get my baby cos an infant straight from hospital needs the mothers care for a while, So the child needs to be with the mother

I would call the wife and ask her whats the reason for acting that way, If no genuine reason, I would give her an ultimatum to move back in, after the expiration of the ultimatum, The marriage is cancelled.

Get a court order for a divorce since she has abandoned her wifely duties, Thats easy to get.

Now wait till the child is weaned and can survive without the mother.

Spot on (in bold), All these omo garage attitude, I would bring MOPO, I would bring Military yada yada yada wont wash men!!!!!!!

she has abandoned her wifely duties

Egbon ti kun ha ha ha

1) u dont allow her to tell u wat to do in ur home
2)u dont accepts her instructions
3)u dont give her as much money as she deserves


This is no marriage, I dont blame d poor mother-in-law mehn because reason 1 is baseless, which home,whose home even d bible says a wise woman(not a wise man here buildeth her home)
reason2, marriage is all abt mutual respects, mutual understanding, u r still dwelling in ur fore-fathers ways poster, u beta wake-up now because gone r dose days wen showing off d man of d house was d order of d day
reason3, dis one makes me laff, just hear ursef out, u dont give her money as she deserves wen she knows u ve got d money, haba Mr Man b human for once now

ronkebp:

Moreso, your wife just put to bed( or why is she in the hospital), you should be thinking about her well-being and the baby's not for you to be concerned about your MIL attitudes. Who can take care of a child if not the mother? seriously? why are you angry that the her mother wants to take care of her daughter, do you know if she had complications during child birth, nope!!!! you are just bothered that she followed her mum home.

Smh Stop it because you're spewing BS and you know it, Why shouldn't he be bothered that she followed her mother home after giving birth? And you really expect him not to know if his wife had complications after giving birth?? I really think that you should stop being sentimental because last time I check you don't live with him and unless his wife can tell her side of the story, just drop it already. BTW the op's MIL and your mother are two different ppl,

foyeks2001:

1) u dont allow her to tell u wat to do in ur home
2)u dont accepts her instructions
3)u dont give her as much money as she deserves


This is no marriage, I dont blame d poor mother-in-law mehn because reason 1 is baseless, which home,whose home even d bible says a wise woman(not a wise man here buildeth her home)
reason2, marriage is all abt mutual respects, mutual understanding, u r still dwelling in ur fore-fathers ways poster, u beta wake-up now because gone r dose days wen showing off d man of d house was d order of d day
reason3, dis one makes me laff, just hear ursef out, u dont give her money as she deserves wen she knows u ve got d money, haba Mr Man b human for once now

Uhmm Missy, he was referring to his MIL in that post and not his wife,

R3tr0st^r:

Smh Stop it because you're spewing BS and you know it, Why shouldn't he be bothered that she followed her mother home after giving birth? And you really expect him not to know if his wife had complications after giving birth?? I really think that you should stop being sentimental because last time I check you don't live with him and unless his wife can tell her side of the story, just drop it already. BTW the op's MIL and your mother are two different ppl, Uhmm Missy, he was referring to his MIL in that post and not his wife,

And how are my replies to the poster affecting you even the poster himself is not using paracetamol, on all of my replies. You want  me to tell him to knack a heavy log of wood on his MIL, Like i said before and will say it again and again, he has a problem with his wife and not the MIL.

pity. op, where is ur mother? dont u hav pple? my mil can be a pain 2. but wit God i know victory. God wil lead u out!

omar22:


Spot on (in bold), All these omo garage attitude, I would bring MOPO, I would bring Military yada yada yada wont wash men!!!!!!!



Egbon ti kun ha ha ha

Epon, not Egbon

ronkebp:

Emmatok, nope!! am not being sentimental, just saying it as i perceive it, i don't know what the MIL has done that is so wrong !!! she is protecting her daughter and grandchild and that is wrong her daughter just put to bed, whose mum does not take care of her daughter after she puts to bed in Naija, they usually go to the daughter's home, but if the atmosphere in the home is not conducive, then she has every right to want to go with her daughter. Now!! her daughters' agreeing to go with her is a different case.

LOL,

She (MIL) has no right to take another mans child.

The child belongs to both parties (husband and wife) and not MIL.

If she is needed  they (husband and wife) will call on her, not her imposing herself.

And what the MIL did is shameful and totally wrong in all ramifications.

I tell you some father in-laws will not hesitate to send their daughter and the child back to her husband, cos it is bad and shameful to the family.

Now the MIL is gradually turning the innocent child to a Bastard(A child whose birth lacks legal legitimacy).

Shameless people.

ileobatojo:

Thank you o! The way I see it, this is basically a case of marital separation where the wife has moved back with her mother, simple.

Are you saying the MIL kidnapped the daughter against her own will? How did she do it? Did she tie her up? Drug her? Knock her unconscious with a baton? If the wife walked out of there on her own with her mother, then she chose to separate from her husband and live with her mother. Nothing illegal was done here. Could the MIL have influenced her decision? Yes, but the wife decided of her own free will to go live with her mother. OP needs to gain access to his wife and make amends with her.

The MIL and her daughter illegally took away that child. That is kidnapping and it is a crime.

The court only can decide who keeps the child/children in case on a proper divorce and not a runaway wife.

Do you know the MIL can be jail and the daughter forced to handover the child after weaning years.

Hope the-same woman won't come back begging, blaming the devil .

Emmatok,

The wife is the one to blame here. She is an adult and the MIL told her to leave her husbands house she left.

But at the moment due to the age of the child, you cant separate mother and child so its best to wait till the child is old enuff before he claims his child

emmatok:

The MIL and her daughter illegally took away that child. That is kidnapping and it is a crime.

The court only can decide who keeps the child/children in case on a proper divorce and not a runaway wife.

Hope the-same woman won't come back begging, blaming the devil .

Emmatok go and drink cold water, there is more to that story. IF late Titi's (the banker's) mother went and carried her daughter away from her husband's house she will still be alive today"".

ronkebp:

Emmatok go and drink cold water, there is more to that story. IF late Titi's (the banker's) mother went and carried her daughter away from her husband's house she will still be alive today"".

Me, i support divorce 100%.

But these case is different, no proper divorce, no court arrangement, just disappear with the baby.

ABA, the is bad for the child health too, because the whole family will be under pressure.

Will they be able to do the naming openly?

Emma, the baby is doing well, am sure she or he is suking on the mama's boobies as we are typing, wetin konsine pickin with wahala, the mother-in-law, is bathing for both mother and the baby, cooking yam peppersoup for the child, we dey here dey worry.

dayokanu:

Emmatok,

The wife is the one to blame here. She is an adult and the MIL told her to leave her husbands house she left.

But at the moment due to the age of the child, you cant separate mother and child so its best to wait till the child is old enuff before he claims his child

I get you point, but what if  these cretins takes  the child to another state and the lady end up marring another man.

Cos i know that kind of  MIL might be pushing her daughter to marry another man.

Guess who suffers.The innocent child suffers .

And it might take years to locate them.

That is why he needs a court order to keep them within his range.

ronkebp:

Emma, the baby is doing well, am sure she or he is suking on the mama's bosoms as we are typing, wetin konsine pickin with wahala, the mother-in-law, is bathing for both mother and the baby, cooking yam peppersoup for the child, we dey here dey worry.

You dey there 

^^^ Abi!!!! that is the scenerio though!!

ronkebp:

^^^ Abi!!!! that is the scenerio though!!

ok o,

Make she no talk say na devil push am letter.

emmatok:

The MIL and her daughter illegally took away that child. [b]That is kidnapping and it is a crime.[/b]

I don’t believe it’s illegal for a parent to take their own child anywhere they like as long as there is not a legal custody agreement being violated. The wife took her child to go live with her mother. If I leave my husband’s house with my child will I be kidnapping my own child?

emmatok:


That is why he needs a court order to keep them within his range.

I agree with this.

ileobatojo:

I don’t believe it’s illegal for a parent to take their own child anywhere they like as long as there is not a legal custody agreement being violated. The wife took her child to go live with her mother. If I leave my husband’s house with my child will I be kidnapping my own child?

I agree with this.

No,

In these situation, they are legally married.

So it is both parties(husband and wife) child.

None of the parties can take any action on that child without the other agreeing to it.

Even in divorce child custody and visitation is discoursed.

emmatok:

No,

In these situation, they are legally married.

So it is both parties(husband and wife) child.

None of the parties can take any action on that child without the other agreeing to it.

Even in divorce child custody and visitation is discoursed.

At this point, it is not illegal. Not until a court order has been violated. It is his right to move the battle to court but till then, I don’t believe it’s illegal even in Nigeria. Same thing if the dad moved the child out of the home. Is it morally wrong? Perhaps (depending on the circumstances).

You cant move the child without the consent of the other partner

dayokanu:

You cant move the child without the consent of the other partner

Yeah you can.

Can any lawyers in Nigeria clarify for us pls. I know in the US, it is definitely not kidnapping for either parent to take the child away until there is a court custody order being violated. The police will not arrest the other party for kidnapping until you demonstrate this.