cyber stalking at its best - my friend if u feel that i am lying about spending the majority of my life in the Uk does that stop u eating breakfast in the morning - yes i will respond cos i don't get ur point - there has been 32 pages on this topic and ur coming on here to attack me cos u think i want t belong or pretend that I like in the UK. What the hell is so special about this country - yeah its home to me but it aint all that, just like nigeria aint all that.

u now want to pick up on a tecnicallity of interest on a credit balance that is finance 101. i think buzz was talking about tax deducted on gross credit interest (gosh must everything be broken down for petes sake).

honestly u must be one of those people that was attacking me from when i was asking about the travelling question months ago and here u are still getting annoyed with me about a 4 month old topic - let me be a JJC to the UK if that is what makes u sleep better at night, I mean the fact that u don't believe me does not affect my life at all so keep thinking I am lying and even if I am, so?

If u want keep throwing insults at me I can clearly see u have something against me, there are many people on here that pass comments that I don't agree with but I live and let live not everyone will be my cup of tea or have the same mindset as me.

see what insomnia is causing me. KMT

gestapo:

^^^

Don't mind her, she must have plucked out the term " credit balance" out of the air just to belong, and if people start actually questioning whether she is truly in the UK, she'll start splitting fearthers



Ada dearest, a thread is opened for discussion purposes and is usually allowed to run to 100 pages before it gets closed, but the rules have been relaxed now so berra go find another thread to chill in before this one gets your high blood presssure soaring

YAWN,

having realised the mentality of people like you my blood pressure is fine thanks,

plucking "credit balance", trying to convince people i am in the UK, oh gosh i would laugh if it wasn't so ridiculous. just to belong to what? the internet? nairaland? wow!!!!!!!!!

buzz apologies i mis read what u wrote - i thought u were referring to savings interest (most banks don't pay interest on current account balances anymore).

why u guys are arguing or exchanging views (bordering on insults) is beyond me - can't people agree to disagree?

wow this topic is still going strong?

looks like 4 people have decided to take over the thread. Buzz by the way interest on any credit balance one has is the bank is not taxed at 50%, last time i checked it was 20 and 40% depending on if ur a higher or basic rate tax payer, just thought I would clarify. (in the UK not sure of other countries)

employed people do pay tax in Nigeria and i think its 5% for corpers and 20-25% for regular workers. to set up a biz in Nigeria u do have to pay to get registered and some sort of tax is paid not sure if that is upfront or continuous.

I don't know why people on both sides are still fighting - if u regret moving then say yes if u don't then that is equally ok, not everyone wants to live in a highly taxed and organised society and equally not everyone wants to live in the survival of the fittest structure, who are we to judge.

jovi:

@ada 24, how did u manage your pcos?, did u also have prolactin or progesterone issues?, difficulty loosing weight?

man don't get me started o!!!! when I got to 16 weeks my doctor even congratulated me for passing the 12 weeks mark (u know cos us PCOS sufferers not only suffer from TTC but when you do there is a 25-50% chance of miscarrying)

the weight loss, gosh first off I can put on weight by just breathing air, it is so hard to loose weight but a low GI diet was the only thing that worked for me a few years back and helps to maintain the weight plus exercise u really do have to watch what you eat.

not everyones cup of tea but i went on the pill to control the facial hair issues and regulate my period and lighten the pain, mood swings and reduce the amt of blood (cos of the fibroids i used to bleed like a running tap).

i tried metformin but that only made me gain weight so i quickly stopped taking that. I did find that when I lost weight my period was much more regular and the hair did not grow so much on my face (it really annoys me when bush ignorant people in Nigeria refer to women with facial hair as witches - but that's another issue)

don't think i had any prolactin or progesterone issues as they would have told me - but my consultant was very shocked when he say me at 20 weeks as he remembers telling me I had infertility issues - i remember that day well last December and how I cried when I left the hospital.

Having PCOS does put u at a greater risk of developing gestational diabetes (which unfortunately I have) so that will be something to watch for.

Obviously everyones experience and situation is different but this is just my brief story and hope it helps.

yes he should be in jail with hard labour in the sokoto sun and when he is done cleaning out pit toilets during the day he should then enjoy what goes with dropping the soap in a prison filled with hardened gay prisoners - I think 20 years should be an adequate sentence.

to the person why this is now rampant u would be surprised how often this happen in our so called God fearing, pentecostal church on every street corner country.

men like this man don't just deserve jail but deserve to suffer in jail and raped by heartless gay criminals while in jail. death penalty is even too good for them

I think your right, at times I have been felt a bit funny posting here.

But I do want those TTC to know it will happen to them, I have PCOS and fibroids and was told it would be hard to conceive and it happened so ladies remember God will answer your prayers in time.

Arlington - I would really appreciate it if you could start up that thread. Thanks

I dey o - just over 1 month to go. This load is getting heavier by the day - but I thank God thou.

anyone watching?

u men are making me chuckle this evening abeg.

where is everyone - had to look for this topic on page 2,

ok buzz I think I shall leave this topic but your a bit harsh - i'm not talking about people not having the information but the funds to get adequate medical care. plus u talk of information as if people are given that information so widely or have that access.

come on now your not really suggesting that the rich and poor are buying and eating chicken in shoprite side by side or buying their kitchen ware from game are u? but like I said let me leave those that know naija (dora don't kill me o!!) to continue on this thread and will only put my 2 cents if i read anything again that is just a bit strange.

as for those who are being harsh on that girl that slept under a bridge - it is sad u have this opinion on life cos u have no idea what kind of life she has that could have driven her to that situation - abeg have some compassion!!!

tensor777:

Well let's get things clear that a country like Nigeria is still developing which means that it is far far away from having the kind of integrated infrastructure and social security systems that are taken for granted in Western Countries. So hypothesizing that if Nigeria worked is  really irrelevant in this instance.

Still it would be pretty lame and myopic for anyone to choose to be an illegal immigrant in the West because of these infrastructural issues.

In fact most people travel out of Nigeria to other countries purely and simply to seek their fortune and not merely to enjoy the laid down facilities.

with all our wealth i always ask why we are still developing. I know rome was not bulit in a day and China did not become what it s today overnight but we are so richly blessed as a nation that I don't get why things don't work or we are still seen as a developing third world country. I watched a CNN segment yesterday about cholera deaths in the north and could not believe it was the same Nigeria I was seeing, chei i felt like crying for those people.

buzz - the little i can tell from some of ur posts clearly indicate that ur an intelligent guy but to come out here and tell us the poor and rich in Nigeria are dining alike is too ridiculous for words - hence why i went to the bottled water factor - or don't human being drink water again?

the fact is the rich and poor do not eat alike and trust me the poor do not shop in supermarkets like the rich - i mean its very hard to see fat kids in a poor family but there are just way too many overweight kids wandering around Palms (whenever i have been there) anyway i digress, the point is I think this is a statement that u should either retract or tell the truth about.

I didn't grow up in Nigeria but stayed there for a few years and have been on lots of holidays and trust me if u have money in Nigeria its very hard to want to live in the west but no everyone has money in Nigeria and I do find it very disturbing that because of the level of poverty back home it has infected the mentality of many people who have a very strange moral code.

If things in Nigeria worked trust me a lot of people who come home but u also have to understand that no matter how much money u have if you have kids u really do have to think about their safety b4 u even contemplate moving back. I am always going on about healthcare cos I personally believe that it is important that everyone no matter how rich or poor u are have access to basic medical care and I'm sorry but I don't know how people can come on here posting pics of mansions shouting about young boys driving brand new (foreign) cars when people are dying of simple strains of malaria and more women die in childbirth in Nigeria more than any other country ON THIS earth apart from India. That is what we should be trying to eradicate and not a material d*ck measuring competition.

oh right so all the poor in nigeria have started drinking bottled water like the rich - right right - ok so I guess those sachets of pure water people drink are in fact the poor transferring the water from the bottle in the plastic bag. hmmmmmm

anyway are any of u grown men going to stop this argument about where its better to be poor and actually think of ways to ensure things work back home.

the average black man loves to live flamboyantly u say??

hmmm i guess Chris Rock was right when he said we should not blame the white man when we look around us and wonder why we can pass on wealth to our future generations. Money is good but i find it very funny u can come one here and boast about our mates driving many cars when your neighbour cannot buy proper malaria drugs for their sick child or have to send their kids to a better off relative to become a househelp.

no one is claiming to be better than anyone else and like i have said after 21 pages i have yet to see people bounce of ideas on how to make our nation great and work for all not just for those that can do their daily shop at shoprite.

Siena:

The fact remains, Nigeria doesn't do much to encourage her citizens to remain. A lot of posters here continually cite wealth as a reason to remain in (or return) to Nigeria. It's not always about wealth - having big houses, several cars etc. What's the point in revelling in these things, when around you, a greater population are wallowing in abject poverty?

Someone cited training. I beg to differ. Nigeria is overpopulated as it is, and there are graduates who have been out of work since they graduated, some over six years ago. There simply aren't enough jobs to go round. It's probably best for most to "down grade" in terms of earnings, in a country they feel most at home in.

There's also the aspect of being treated as a second / third-class citizen abroad (so they say). Are Nigerians treated any better in Nigeria? Does an average Northerner look up to say an Igbo man? Nigerians are treated much worse in Nigeria, yet they fail to see it. All they see is the negative aspect of those living outside the shores of Nigeria, or those born there, who choose to stay out.

thank you - I have noticed this emphasis on money and how big ur house is and how many cars one has as if that is all one needs to live a peaceful and comfortable life.

i rest my case

Outstrip:

This is actually a great idea. Maybe a thread should be made in the family forum and then "STICKY-ED". Just showing the exact steps a woman can take to even leave the man including legally getting financial help with raising the kids also if the man will not do so willingly. A step by step guide. Maybe even the names and office addresses of lawyers that can take on their cases in court. I think that would be valuable information. I will ask my cousin for some info. She is a lawyer and has helped a friend who was being beaten up by a man that had never worked since the day they married and after beating her and making her taste her blood he told her to pack out of "HIS" house. The house that he moved into when he married her. Chai. Legally the man had no case and he soon realized that with a lawyer behind his wife he had no choice but to do what was right.
Any lawyers in the house can actually be of help here.

thank you my sister, these are the kind of responses that are needed.

men who beat up their partners are the ones that really need to be doing the prayers and fasting. some men will carry bible all weekend, attend night vigil, have pastors on speed dial, attend church services and then come home and beat the wife.

Blazay:

If you are not a Nigerian, then I can understand your perspective. Not everything in Africa has to end in divorce and court cases like Western countries. We have family intervention and other remedial avenues. You are really immature in your responses. It is either she goes all the way or just tolerate the behaviour you stated? I hope you are not a counsellor or a social-worker.

Do you believe in the power of appropriate verbal and non-communication?
If you have children, you can easily solve a man's problems.
Children are more difficult to deal with.

What kind of a woman will stay with an abuser and hide the abuse, when her life is in obvious danger?
Why get married if you cannot communicate and channel negative energies of those around you? At least try?

ok, lets agree to disagree.

and lets assume that all men that beat up their wives are open to communication and family intervention. cos all men are like this right - all men that beat their wives are angels who are driven to madness by these crazy women.

peacettw:

^^my dear, u've hit the nail on the head. All i am interested now is what can these victims do in our environment as a measure to keep the man from repeating his actions that doesn't necessarily entail a divorce.

from the little i know about Nigeria - either she goes all the way or just tolerate the behaviour - unfortunately some of our men back home really need the second coming of Christ to realise that they are wrong. trust me if she goes down the legal route both families will make the woman's life a living hell. either she leaves the home for a while (for her own safety) or put up with it or get someone to come and stay with her cos most of these wife beaters like to hide the abuse and outside are the nicest men u will ever meet.

Blazay:

I agree. But my question is how did the woman end up as a punching bag?
Of course in marriage, domestic abuse REMAINS a social problem in my opinion because,
you better off dealing with domestic abuse as a social problem as opposed to a legal problem.
YOU ARE MARRIED and not strangers on the streets.

Unless you want to end your marriage.
Try everything else from therapy to counselling before you involve the police.
If you want to live like a "white" woman, be prepared to go all the way.
Join the statistics and be a divorced single parent.


I am not a lawyer but the matter is simple.
You do not need a lawyer.
If you want to sue your husband for assualt and battery, why not go all the way like a 'white' woman?
Why do you need a lawyer if not for a divorce?

Do you think you can get a lawyer to stop spousal abuse?
You will have to pay for the lawyer's services and your bank account may just dry up throwing money away.
Just save yourself the stress and get rid of the abuser by leaving the marriage.
Case closed.

so its better for your children to grow up thinking its ok for daddy to hit mummy instead of being a single parent, men who hit women are the ones with the problem and not the woman - does the man beat up his boss when the boss does something he doesn't like - or even disgraces him in the office - i doubt, the woman has no reason to look for the reason for her abuse - or don't u know what abuse means - its like a child should go and look for the reason she was despoiled.

can't u get that this cultural norm u talk of is wrong - if u like call us "white" women but beating up your wife is wrong and illegal - i mean anyone else outside the home could have u arrested for assult.

even the women u say that shout the loudest do not wake up raining abuses at the man - most men know what will drive their wives to anger but they don't care cos culture dictate that a woman endures all!!!!

i have had a little experience of working with women who are victims and most times u will find that the woman has not done anything instead the men are the ones who look for "weak" women. THE VICTIM IS NEVER TO BLAME

Blazay:

1. Find out the reasons for her being battered and proceed from there.

Most marriages are salvageable even with this problem. It is left for the woman to stay or leave.
But, she MUST put a stop to the battering and command respect from her husband.
She has the key and she can do it. Unless she does not wish to.
Most men can be cured out of that bad habit.
It is up to the woman.

2. It is NOT a legal problem but a social problem which does not require the services of a lawyer.

really - i always though it was also a mental problem on the part of the man. PLEASE THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO HIT UR WIFE, so she should not find out the reasons for the beatings - why can't some people see that the culture that allows a woman to be blamed also gives men that confidence to beat up their wives knowing they will be no consequences.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200410001&itemid=1275&itemTitle=What+is+the+cause+of+domestic+violence

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic_violence_topic.asp?section=0001000100220041&sectionTitle=Domestic+violence+%28general%29

please read up on domestic violence b4 trying to put the blame on the woman - i am so fed up with it.

I will activate my facebook account just to vote for ur little princess - but i expect u to repay me next year when my supermodel is 10/11 months o!!!!!!!!!

PStylish:

Just trying to emphasize how this abroad thing has ruined the destinies of many and will still ruin more if they are not careful.
You guys just have to help us by telling guys back here the truth about abroad which is how difficult and harsh foreign land can be. And that they would be better off in Nigeria. That abroad is only good for holidays, shopping and business meetings.

hmm i laugh - if abroad as u put it is so bad why do u come here for holidays, shopping and business meetings - i mean when u have heaven on earth like nigeria why are u going anywhere for anything - i bet u are one of those that has furnished his home with abroad stuff.

abeg now cos a man is riding okada it is because his destiny was ruined by abroad. wow haters will really clutch at straws to make themselves feel better.

and people say this doesn't happen in Nigeria - when i read these stories I get so angry I feel like personally getting on a flight and killing these men myself - a 4 year old for goodness sake.

I am so angry I can't write again.

i personally feel the best punishment for these men is locked up for a long time with hardened gay prisoners who will rape them everyday.

Siena:

Totally indifferent. I didn't even know he was attacked.

Were his fine features ruined, or improved?

abeg u don kill me with that one

REAL TRUTH:

Many commentators favoring going back to Nigeria re just myopic in their postulation. The truth is,,,,,if  things re working out for you in Nigeria,,,,stay back in Nigeria,,,but if not,,do the best to find an entirely result oriented solution to your peculiar problem.
Check the link below and tell me if this is the Nigeria someone is advising others regret about?    

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-550907.0.html

WOW THAT IS ALL I CAN SAY, WOW

buzugee:

yes but you assume that every nigerian in england is doing graduate work. majority of nigerians are doing security work, early morning cleaning, london underground, and driving taxis. the percentage of nigerians that work with their degree in england is quite negligible compared to the total amount of nigerians.

ok my bad - i guess i can only use my own personal experience - i know a lot of nigerians do this but in one of my former companies most of the black people on the graduate scheme were nigerian. like i have already mentioned these are predominately the kids of parents who came here as immigrants but at the same time it is a bit annoying that people think that ALL NIGERIANS are doing menial jobs, not all of us are.

another thing just cos some people are doing this doesn't make them any less of a human being - i have a friend whose mother put her and her siblings thru private school as kids thru doing 2 jobs (trust me even some oyinbo do this) she and her sister are doing extremely well for themselves - should she be looked down upon cos her mum did cleaning back in the 80s or 90s to get them to where she is today? abeg the woman is seriously enjoying now o BIG TIME thru her kids.

tensor777:

Yes but do they have the right papers? Besides she was referring perhaps off topic to those of British citizens of Nigerian extraction and who have a proper professional job.
However it is true that most Nigerian illegal immigrants are doing security and cleaning jobs.

i don't think its that off topic as we are still nigerians - plus if that does exclude british of nigerian extraction then the question should then be asked to my parents generation who moved and gave us the opportunities that i doubt we could have had in nigeria. no as simple as we all think

vistax1:

Ok all of you guys said you didn't regret moving abroad tell us what you are doing & how much U earn so dat we can know if it is what moving abraod.

what kind of nonsense is this - i still say look at the bigger picture, even a beggar on the streets of London can walk into a hospital and get the same care as the a person earning £80k a year. I am not about to start saying that cannot happen in nigeria but come on now get real, some people where born and raised in the UK so there can be no regret. Nobody owes anyone anything so to make that statement goes to show a mentality I do not like - thinking everything revolves around MONEY.

life aint all about money o!!! peace of mind and being able to plan for yourself and your family is equally important.

buzugee:

well i cannot give you specific figures but the average salary of nigerians in america is $70,000 per annum and in britain it is 20,000 pounds per annum.

i will pull up the source but i cannot find the website again

having said that, i know someone personally who works for etisalat in nigeria and makes 50 million naira per annum. i think he is a managing diirector. he used to live in america but returned to naija 5 years ago

thats not even the average south east salary in the UK so where is that £20k from. most 1st year graduate jobs pay more than that and most professional jobs pay a lot more - i mean don't new doctors start on £30k plus when they finish medical school - i only use these examples as not everyone is scrubbing toilets in nightclubs!!!!!!!!!!!!,

come o poster please tell me more about this account British born are paid by the government,

old boy ur 419 is so amateur its bordering on the level of stupidity

90%? wow

if u check most of the africans working for the big 4 (accounting firms) and oil companies in the UK are Nigerian so where people are plucking this 90% from is amazing. Ok they may be kids of 2nd generation Nigerians but can people stop this naija in naija versus naija abroad threads.

let us instead look for ways to improve the living conditions for the masses in nigeria instead of blowing the trumpet cos a % of people who happen to have done well for themselves in nigeria now believe that cos they can travel out every month for shopping are now better than those abroad.

and anyway even if 90% of nigerians are cleaners or whatever menial job they are doing they will not be turned away from a hospital cos they don't have money here, lets stop looking at who is living large but the bigger picture.

instead of all the insult we should be exchanging ideas on how to make things work in nigeria