nkemjacob2:
Pls i need an advice I am in love with a girl she is a baby mama. But I am finding hard to battle the metal stress of her been a baby mama of a boy. Pls I need your advice to over come this. I truly love her and I want to marry her. Pls no jokes

StillDtruth:


True! Very many men are stupid as the op has shown

I'm not sure what advise you seek for, but it's clear (from your story), why you're experiencing what you're experiencing in your marriage.
Your wife told you that her parents didn't want her to have a a boyfriend in uni, but they wanted her to just bring a husband.

Let us do a bit of arithmetic.

Your wife is presently 33 & you're 32.

And your marriage is 6 years this September.

Meaning you married her when she was 27 and you were 26.

At almost 27, she traveled to come see you on your birthday.

And she knacked you.

Meaning, you didn't meet her as a virgin.

This is someone that said her parents frowned at her having any relationships.

Did it not occur to you, that she wasn't a novice?

And then because of what she did, you fell on love with her & married her in 6 months without cohabiting or proper vetting.

It's true you said that her parents are good.

It's also possible that she was raised well too.

But what you didn't factor is that her upbringing & parents behavior is not a guarantee that it will automatically transcend to her being a good wife to you.

This is why courtship is very important.

And age is also important.

Your wife accepted to marry you to please her parents.

And she also needed to have kids in a proper family setting.

Remember what I have been saying about women marrying men that they're bigger than in age, money, exposure or experience?

They'll accept to marry you, get what they've always wanted, & begin to frustrate you so that you can ask for a divorce or separation.

Otherwise, tell me...

Why would a married woman move out of her room and starve her husband of sex for almost 2 years?

Is that not enough to frustrate you to seek for separation or divorce?

She even boldly told you that you can go out to satisfy yourself sexually.

Who does that & what does that tell you?

Meaning she doesn't care.

As far as she's concerned, you have given her what she wants (kids).

And you know that it's a shameful thing to voice out as a man, that your wife is starving you of sex correct?

Question:

In these 2 years, has your wife not been having sex?

Has it ever occurred to you?

What excuses can she possibly give that has made her refuse to have sex with you?

Is she incapacitated?

Can it be PPD?

Even if it's any of these, will a wife who feels for her husband not at least try to initiate sex so as to please her husband?

You also said that she's always arguing with you.

And that she wants to always have the say & decide for you.

Your wife sees you as her junior & like you said, the only thing that is still keeping your marriage is because you're the provider.

That's your shield.

But as for your ego, your wife has crushed it.

I don't want you young men to see this case as an exception.

It's not.

If men who are in his shoes come out to speak, 9/10 will echo this man's experience.

You as a man, must be ahead of your wife in almost all things.

And age, is top of the list.

A woman of you agemate sees you as her junior.

Then imagine the one that is older than you are?

Also, no matter how "nice" a lady treats you, make sure you go through the tenets of relationship before you conclude on marrying her.

Because men rarely get treated nicely by women, doesn't mean that they should sell their commitment so cheap because they met a lady that did the "uncommon".

When my wife gave me about 2k to go visit my father, I was elated because it was rare.

And immediately, I told myself that this lady will be my wife.

[b][/b]But that didn't stop me from being convinced through proper dating, cohabiting & several tests & quarrels.

You just have to pass through it.

Like I said yesterday, take the harder right, than the easier wrong.

Otherwise, when all the "love" fades, reality will dawn on you in marriage.

End.

Adexvivacity:


Your children will never for once mention you as well....These are the people that will want to go and die in their sons or daughter house after marriage but always dont want to hear about their mother inlaw. I hate to hear this trash.

While I agree that parent's blessings are important for marriage, your parents should not blackmail you and your brother with it.

It's okay if you find someone from their church to marry, but it has to be when you're convinced about the woman.

If you cannot find one, then you and your brother should "punish" your parents by not giving them any grandchildren.

If they call you to ask why you're not coming home to see them, tell them that they are frustrating your life & you've decided not to disrespect them by giving them their desired space & peace.

If they're truly your parents, then let's see how they'll feel by the time they don't see or your brother for a year.

Tell your parents that you don't find a spouse in the church, but you find a church in your spouse.

And tell them that if they force you to marry a woman against your will, that you'll divorce her & remain unhappy for the rest of your life.

Religious alignment is good for marriage, but you must find your wife by yourself.

I've an idea of the denomination your parents belong to, & it's very typical of them.

Lastly, ask your brother to go and apologize to your father for uttering such disrespectful words to him.

But he should tell him that he'll not accept arranged marriage just because he wants to please them.

Do as I have advised & your father may have a change of heart.

End.

The advise that I'll give you should also extend to your brother too.

And it's going to be a tough one but you need to listen & I hope it works.

If you no longer live with your parents (same as your brother), stop going to visit them & stop calling them.

Let him live with your mother in peace.

StillDtruth:


Another stupid and ignorant post. Its obvious that you are not well.

You'll most likely settle in faster as a married woman than your husband.

Especially if he married you before he was 30 and almost all his close friends are still bachelors.

In the early stages of your marriage, you'll feel like you made a mistake. Your husband would find it harder to come to terms with his new status.

He still would want to live like he used to.

Go out to hang out with friends, club, chill in the bars, and sometimes, even flirt with other ladies.

If you got pregnant within the first year of your marriage, it may make it worse.

He won't be able to take you out at night like both of you used to do before you got married.

He's also new to the life of living with a pregnant woman.

He doesn't understand how to deal with your emotions, cravings, attention, and nagging.

Sometimes, he will feel choked.

He may even withdraw from sex because he may have the orientation that he may hurt the baby in your womb.

Both of you would "fight" a lot of the time and curse each other.

All these should not make you think of calling it quit.

Especially if you're convinced that you earned your place as his wife.

And that you did not manipulate him into marrying you & he didn't marry you out of pity or because you got pregnant.

Young married men need some time & patience.

Yes you can complain but don't allow your emotions to have the best of you.

During these early stages, if you want to complain to anyone, please do not complain to your mother.

Discuss these issues with his elder brothers, father, or your father.

Your mother will use emotions to advise you because you're her daughter.

If care is not taken, your mother may give you the wrong advice and introduce friction in your nascent marriage.

Your father would understand and teach you to be patient.

His father & elder brothers would call him to order.

The moment you give birth, that is when you'll notice the first A major change in your husband.

The birth of your child will be one of his happiest moments.

You'll notice that he will reduce his outings and want to be closer to his child and you.

He may drift away sometimes but it's a process.

As both of you keep waxing together, he would start amending his ways.

A few years down the line, his close friends too would have gotten married.

They too would start minding their families & reduce their hangouts.

This is why I keep telling you all that the first 5 years of your marriage would be tough.

Once you cross this milestone, you would have achieved a lot.

The quarrels would reduce, & the nagging would reduce.

You the wife have a lot on your hands to be worrying about petty things.

Your husband would be thinking of bills to pay and if he's a serious-minded husband and father, no one would have to remind him that he's now a married man.

Patience is a virtue.

It doesn't matter for how long you dated, marriage would humble you.

So to help you through these early stages, please avoid toxic friends.

Almost every married woman went through that stage.

Don't paint your husband as a "devil" and don't ever compare him with your friends' husbands.

You must build your matrimonial home while your husband leads it.

He would make a lot of mistakes but with time he would change and be a better man, father, and husband.

It's not a time for you to start comparing him with your ex.

It's not a time for you to start finding comfort in the hands of your ex.

It's not a time for you to start chatting with your ex and telling him that you regret marrying your husband.

It's not a time for you to say because your husband may be cheating, then you would cheat back.

If he catches you, no one will listen to you.

You would have ruined your marriage and you would have made him worse.

And to young married men

There is time for everything.

Once you're married, learn that your wife deserves attention.

Control your anger and do not flare up at everything.

Mind how you use your "privileges".

It's not for you to be rubbing them on the face of your wife.

And making statements like "I was like this before you married me" means you do not rate the words or advice of your young wife.

Mind what you tell your bachelor friends about your wife.

Some of your male friends are even envious that you're married and they're not.

Do not let them push you to maltreat your wife at home.

If you're hanging out with them and your wife calls, pick up the call.

Even if you're with a lady.

You're married and you should not be ashamed of it or hide it from any lady out there.

Sometimes if your wife says "Please come home".

Leave whatever you're doing and go home to be with her.

Your friends do not have anyone to go home to.

You do.

And that home is your safest abode.

The amount of temptation you'll receive as a young married man will be more.

And if you're not careful, you may make terrible mistakes that may cost you a lot.

There is nothing outside.

End.

1Sharon:
Men don't typically want love, they want respect.

alphaNomega:
okay oh, busy poster. when you are less busy, write what I asked of you.

EreluRoz:
63

Have this at the back of your mind

1) women don't love men
2) women are more loyal to their feelings than your sacrifices
3) you can't buy a woman's genuine desires with money
4) greed is a disease
5) leave uni girls alone, if you're way past that level
6) a woman can't raise a girl child alone
7) if you forgive a woman for what she knows she shouldn't be forgiven for, she'll punish you for it and still blame you for forgiving her
never play a fatherly role on a woman you're not married to
9) Women, until a man is married to you, do not get pregnant for him
10) how you start with a woman, is how you must continue
11) if your father is not showing you love, ask your mother why?
12) be careful with single mothers
13) make money, women will come=make money, olosho will come
14) don't wife a KNOWN hoe.

END.

alphaNomega:
oh, I thought you have a lot of time to waste by posting this list in the first place.

EreluRoz:
30 is too young, I can't date a man less than 35years.

No smart lady will have anything to do with men in their 20s and early 30s those ones are still testing the strength of their prick and the early 30s are not yet well balanced to afford holidays in Maldives, Santorini and other eye catchy places.

Olonitola:
Can you expatiate on 4 please?

alphaNomega:
it's a waste of my time

Continued

Delete all the useless men's numbers you have on your phones & block them. Focus on your goals & move closer to God.

Prepare for the worst but hope for the best in any man you meet or you're currently dating.

Avoid female friends that have too many male friends.

Unfollow any social media page that all they want to do is make you hate Men & make you feel like marriage is not something you should look forward to.

Purge your mindset from the mentality of "what works for A will not work for B".

Relationships have formular and its principles.

Encourage your men to be better & let them know that you're their no 1 supporter & prayer Pal.

All these things I've told you are what will get men committed to you.

It's not rocket science.

It's doable and you'll be glad you chose the path of femininity.

May your prayers be answered but you have to put in the work.

I wish you well.

End.

If you're a single lady that is inching close to 30, make marriage your priority from now

It doesn't matter if you end up not getting married in 2024, but at least you're on the path.

Your online feminists and misandrists are getting married secretly because they know they can't do without men.

Those who are still unmarried are miserable and will gladly pull you along.

Misery loves company.

As you keep pushing and building your various careers & goals, don't forget to find a man to build along with.

If you have a man already, make sure you don't lose him.

Don't let anyone discourage you that marriage is not an achievement.

Marriage well done is an achievement for both the man and the woman.

If you start a fresh relationship this new month of the year, and you stay deliberately committed to it, by the end of this year, you would've seen how far you have come.

Make it a prayer point & show that man that you're willing to be a good wife.

Let old things of last year, last month or even last week pass away.

You're not the worst sinner on earth. I spent quality time with my family and I took time to date my wife again & took time to appreciate her for being a good wife & mother to our lovely children.

We reflected on how we met & how we made sure things worked for both of us.

We started from a step. So you too can do it.

If you're above 25 and have no boyfriend, please be deliberate about the man you'll date this year.

As you shape your thoughts and mind, the universe will bring forth the type of man you need.

Avoid fraudulent men this year.

Avoid men who believe in 50:50 this year.

Avoid men who still want to party & hang out with friends all the time.

Avoid men who can't make a full statement without mentioning their mother in it.

Look out for men that are earning legitimate & sustainable income.

He doesn't have to own a car but he should at least be living in his own rented apartment.

Learn how to cook and clean.

Learn how to respect men & learn never to show a man you have your own money.

Avoid begging men for money this year & let the man see something different in you that he rarely sees in most women he has been with.

Stop shaking bumbum online and keep your social media records as clean as possible.

Go closer to your fathers and tell him to teach you how to respect men and how to be a submissive wife.

At age 30, a man shouldn't be living under his father's roof.

If you're not a human with special needs, then you should be living on your own or squatting with friends.

Significant no of your mates are either married, or planning to.

Move out & face the world squarely.

End.

A 30 year old man will still be saying "mommy, wetin you cook today, I dey hungry".

And he did not contribute a dime to the home.

And he'll still be chasing girls & sneaking them into his father's house, so he can knack.

Shameless old man.

End.

When you're 30 as a man, your father is most likely in his 50s or early 60s.

Depending on when he got married.

You should know that you're disappointment to your father, if you're still feeding from his pocket.

He's not kicking you out because he loves you.

But grow up.

End.

alphaNomega:
now do a post on 'before you get married as a woman'

advanceDNA:

29.... ensure u have not won her heart with money....??

Her heart ...?? I thought u said in number 2 the man doesn't need her heart/love ..?? Just respect, loyalty and submission....

Baba...if woman doesn't truly love you......u will have to buy respect, loyalty & submission from a woman....

SAMBARRY:
Men pick number 2 advise at your own risk.a woman who loves you will try to satisfy you and have your back even when you still annoy and hurt her but a woman who doesn't love you is like living and grooming a snake.the fact that the snake is acting all cute and harmless doesn't mean it cannot kill you,it's only a matter of time.

If you know how sleath and dangerous women are, you won't take number 2 advise.

When the going gets tough or things are not as rosy as it seems you think she won't jump at the next available highest bidder.if there's anything a man must understand,they must realise that A WOMAN THAT DOESN'T LOVE YOU CAN NEVER BE LOYAL TO YOU.if she's loyal, submissive or respectful to you,she's only pretending because the going is still good and you're still a useful supply to her.thr moment you stop giving her the things you used to give her that's when you will know she was never loyal,she was just pretending.a woman who loves you will be considerate of your feelings,show you empathy and sympathy but the ones who don't love you will go and fvck another man and push it on you while you're just her ordinary ATM .dey play

AgbaJohnDoe:
Any woman that tells you that she was once a prostitute, wants to continue with the prostitution in marriage.