You know, it was all bittersweet especially since I would have preferred the Super Eagles to be at South Africa than the Tunisians. But at the same time, even a win for us today wouldnt have hepled us as long as Mozambique beat Tunisia.

Kenya had a local coach (Francis Kimanzi) during the first phase of the qualifiers then they appointed a foreigh coach (Antoine Hey) for the second round of qualifers.

He dropped some key players for our first match against Tunisia, introduced 'Commitment Letters' for players to sign before going into camp, banned players from one of our teams -Mathare United- from camp, dropped Dennis Oliech for the return match against Tunisia. Did everything to kill our hopes (of reaching the Cup of Nations), we weren't even aiming for the World Cup.

We lost all the matches except the home match against Mozambique. The foreign coach destabilized a team that was gelling. Believe it or not, he boycotted the match against Nigeria since he was ordered by the Football Federation to call some players such as our star striker Dennis Oliech (who scored the first goal in today's match).

Those people who are calling for the removal of Amodu should really be careful.

Sometimes football isnt all about the tactics. Sometimes it is also about luck and what the eleven men on the pitch can do. The eleven players on the pitch today against Kenya didnt give up even when they were a goal down at half time. Even when the Kenyan crowd seemed quite hostile. They still did the business.

Perhaps we can always remember the story of Antoine Hey and the Kenyan experience when you think about hiring a foreign coach.

Since Morris is HoH once more, it wouldn't hurt to do one more BBA3 South Park version.

KB: Housemates, KB again!

Mimi: I wonder what KB means. Kinky Brother?

Thami (laughing hyenally): Haieh haieh haieh.

Hazel looks at Thami. She is smiling but holding back anger at that irritating laughter.

KB: Are you standing by for the names of the people are up for Prison Break tonight?

Munya: Ze naymes plizk. Giveskh us ze naymes.

Ricco: Am scared man.

Thami: Eureka! You finally said something intelligent. You were beginning to worry me.

Morris: Just lay off, Ricco. Can’t you see he had a tooth ache just as reward for kissing Latoya? KB let us get this done with, and stop the mysticism.

KB: OK, Morris. As Head of House… wait, someone is blocking my script… oh yeah… as Head of House you had powers to replace any of the nominees. What did you do THIS TIME?

Morris: Well guys, (stands up for maximum effect…) My fellow Housemates, distinguished viewers, Big Brother, my lovely daughter…

Thami (laughing hyenally): Haieh haieh haieh. He has a speech this time. The long forgotten I Have No Dream So Deal With It Speech.

Morris: Every Monday, heralds the epiphany to distil courage and separate boys from the men and women from the girls.

TK: Yes… yes… (but silently thinking: WTF is this dimwit going on about?!?)

Morris: Guys, I decided that everyman or woman for himself and Gawd for us all.

Tawana: Gawd for ars*holes?

Hazel (matter of factly and making gestures by pointing at all housemates): Us all.

Mimi: I knew it! Lightning doesn’t strike twice! In your face TK!

TK (Smiling): We’ll see who is smiling after thirty minutes. If I don’t leave, am still in the hunt for the Benjamins; if I leave, I am released to the world which has Sheila. How… no, cow about that, cow!

Ricco (shaking uncontrollably) : I can’t believe this man. For the first time man, for the first time in three weeks I wasn’t on the chopping board…

Mimi: I need to pee!

All Housemates: Nooooooooo!

Munya: Not in the shower again! That is disgusting. So so dis,

KB: So Munya, Mimi and Thami please take your bags to the Diary Room.

TK: Munya?!?

KB (I should stop thinking about when the Results Lady shows up again for my ogling routine… cant wait): You wish… TK, Thami and Mimi.

As camera pans away to the stage, Mimi breaks into the Beatle's song 'Let It Be' by changing it to 'Let Me Pee, there will be an answer, let me pee, let me pee'

I think when Morris reveals what he did, all the other Housemates shall burst out laughing.

Act 2 Sunday

KB: Chuck Morris, as head of House you had a chance to leave the nominees as they were or switch them. What did you do?

Morris: Do I have to?

KB: It is in your bloody contract, eejit! You have to!

Morris: I honestly do not recall KB. I lost my mind.

KB: Do you prefer if Big E played the tape for the Housemates Morris?

Morris: No man!

Thami: What did you do Morris? You put yourself up for Eviction?

Sheila: Bleep this shyt. Just say it.

TK: Babes, that is why I love you. That rhyme was hot.

Tawana: You two just shut up! You cant rhyme 'shit' with 'it'

Hazel: This anxiety is killing me. I better go bake a cake.

Mimi: You cant go nowhere oh. We are live on air.

KB: And you are full of hot air Mimi. Morris, we have sixty minutes to wrap this up, and some silly musician has already eaten into our time. So, you have to say it now.

Morris: [/b]Okay guys. Don't laugh please.

[b]Ricco: OK, I swear by this rosary. We wont laugh!

Morris: My decision was to switch Takondwa with Ricco. Clap for me.

All Housemates (including Ricco): Hahahahahahahaha.

Hazel: You are kidding, right?

Thami: [/b]We are being punk'd!

[b]KB: And what was your reason for the switch?

Morris: TK scares me. He said he is a thug, not a gangsta. When I was going to the Diary Room he looked at me with those 'bad eyes'

Ricco: Just say the truth. It is Latoya right? Payback time, right. You,

Munya: We thought it was Punk'd. More like Dumb and Dumber.

Ricco: No lemme finish, lemme finish,

KB: Hazel, Sheila, Tawana and Ricco you may take your bags to the Diary Room.

Sheila: (as camera pans to KB) I thought I was the only foolish one here. Bleep this shyt. At least he could have saved me coz am East African. Or he wants to get a piece of TK when am gone.

KB: We will be back after the break.

***
Tampico those nominations were something else.

And the reasons they gave when nominationg were also hilarious. LC should have done a piece about what they were really thinking.

Hazel nominating TK because he talks about 'weeds' (sic) and 'dopes'

Mimi nominating Tawana because she had gotten used to her being away after the Fake Eviction. Thank Gawd Mimi is not a sister to Lazarus! Imagine if Lazarus was raised from the dead and his sister said: Oh, I had gotten used to not having him around. He should go back to that other world.

Tawana nominating Mimi because she was gossiping with Ricco in Spanish. And not nominating Ricco because, what? He was replying in Portuguese?

Sheila (Masaai gal) nominating Thami because he was depressed. Now, what better way to get some an anti-depressant than by putting him up for nomination!

Thami nominating Hazel because he hasn't spoken to her in a while. And people still talk about 'Thazel' on the sms strap.

LOL at but it is Lerato what can we expect.

LC, am also up to my head with works. Your snippets are still concise. I thought what Mimi was doing was stoking the fire for drama, and everyone should welcome a Drama Mama.

I think Uti had a point on the wagering of the 100%. Some risks are too hard to take.

I also enjoyed his argument with Mimi about whether they are lucky or not to be in the House.

Ricco as HOH. Wonder who he gets to take to the Pent House (other than the rosary) of course.

Spot on Tampico. Some of us 'Forumites' are not Naija. But we are cool. We understand a dash of patriotism here and there. Just check the poll on this thread about whom you think will win BBA3!!! Uti wins with a bigger margin than Usain Bolt.

Been reading the threads and as usual, very interesting. LC keeps calling Sheila a Maasai gal. I know it is in jest, and there is no need to be a pedant, but she really is Luhya (from her name Ominde) though her mother is Kisii (giving her the Kwamboka name). And those are just two of the over 42 tribes in Kenya!!! But with all the ribal issues we have had, we simply like to think of her as Kenyan.

http://www.artmatters.info/?articleid=213

http://www.artmatters.info/?articleid=55

Now, am more into the Sunday show due to pressures of time. Here went my take to complement Salsera.

[b]After one eventful week with Housemates getting acquainted, the highlight of it all was another cold Sunday evening when Housemates were asked to perform an activity that told the viewers something about themselves. Some activities they did. Before that, a recap.

Housemates had been reprimanded by Big Brother following the truthfully daring game that had been engaged in three days into the show, with more saliva exchange than The Young and the Reckless. Spoilsport Biggie seems intent to dish out punishment faster than a policeman giving speeding tickets at Formula 1. Reprimanded for entertaining us? Oh.

But TK was kissed by Lucille and he smiled happily like a dog with two tails; Girl Latoya was aghast when her ‘girls’ were nibbled; Hazel found lip locking with Sheila too revulsive and rather took the dip; Ricco perfected his clothes allergy like a homeless peep in Puerto Rico; and Biggie kept showing us the clock more as a reminder that it was past bed time.

Come Sunday, the Housemates showed us their true colours with Tawana kicking it off with some traditional jig which would sure do some culling for that cellulite.

Having discarded Sheila’s dress, Ricco, immediately came up cross-dressed this time as Mimi. He was supposedly imitating Beyonce, but there was no Jay Z to hit on him due to the rumours that his mouth, sort of reeks. Reek Oh!

Thami did not sing or dance or read a book. Instead, he just consumed a lot of pepper and guzzled some palm wine. I know, I know. He must be thinking he is the new Chili Palmer.

Mimi on the other hand decides that she can break the law and plead some diplomatic immunity. Ms Ambazzadah murders a Whitney song and in mitigation simply talks about the children. It is always the children. Her punishment? Coming up next.

La Toya has been behaving like a dual SIM card in a cellphone with the two phones being Morris and Ricco. Morris by day and Ricco by night, she had decided. Technically, one of the guys is getting to be with her at peak hours. So with the inevitable drama that will arise, it was time for her to kiss and make up. So she kissed Morris during the DJ treat and for the make up, well, she applies it on Mimi.

TK uses up his time to ‘rap’ once again, doing just his best to advertise for the ear buds market across the continent. It is a pity that nobody has told him that this wasn’t about what you want to do when you grow up. And down, judging from his Shower Hour slots.

Sheila… oh Sheila. She has ‘Spoiler Alert’ written all over her conversations. If you haven’t been watching movies, mute the remote when she is on for she will give away the plot line. Next she will also be doing the movie stunts too. She sang an R & B song. Raspy and Boring.

Lucille says she is a virgin. Well, when she learnt that Tawana was the Head of House and liked Munya who liked her (Lucille), she said in all virginal innocence: I am so bleeped. She however wasn’t and instead she just read a passage from a book. Oh, and just so we are clear, the book wasn’t ‘How To Pop The Cherry!’

Hazel from Malawi decided to mouth some traditional song forgetting that after the Idols experience, the words ‘song’ and ‘Malawi’ don’t go together. She also does a jig that is so ancient that it went straight to the Big Brother Museum.

Nigeria is known for football… which is played on green pitches with white markings. Flag that one! So anyways, Uti who is Nigerian decides to go Italian by singing a tenor number. The name is Lutiano Pavaruti, eh?

Morris, whose manhood has been christened ‘the Last King of Scotland’ by some feminine viewers, comes on stage wearing some hideous Zangalewa outfit and tries to accentuate the manhood theme with some cucumber upfront and inexplicable plastic surgery on his bum. Surely, only La Toya would love that performance and make up.

Munya is in his element when he is with Lucille. He even opens up her heart like he is peeling a banana. He still has that irritating accent and believes that he is funnier than Jon Stewart wearing a monkey costume. I hate the performance.

That was it for the Sunday show. In the backdrop of Barrack Obama’s speech at the Convention when some people said he had a backdrop that was Zeus-like, Mr. KB brings on stage Zeus as the performance of the night.

He also discloses that some two new moles will be going into the house to clean the pool on Fridays. Yes, that is another episode being baked by Biggie. And when you look at the ingredients, you have to wonder what would come next. There are always the nominations. And as we all know, friends don’t nominate each other… unless they have to. See you again![/b]

The review I did was whilst I was at the Bomas , it always sounds different when you are the venue than what you hear on TV. Before I comment on that, for those who still want to read the silly review, here goes,

Idols… The Fave Five

It was a typical July night in Nairobi lashing and tipping down with rain. The sky had opened up for several hours and the sultry damp evening had an ‘Its Raining Men’ theme to it as we headed to Bomas where ironically Eric was the only man and The Last Man Standing on Idols.

There was some need to hand Lebo the Nobel Prize for Prophesy as he had correctly predicted that each contestant in the Top Five would sing two songs each. Two songs each! It was the equivalent of asking the bar-tender: Make mine a double!

Bling bling TK was looking ever cheerful. If the so-called Global Warming rain outside flooded the theatre, he would be the first to sink due to that glittering heavy watch. Please hand TK the Nobel Prize for Weight Lifting.

The latest rhyme from the Judges corner was that ‘Angela’s hair has become rare’ as she donned the headscarf yet again. I ask someone whether that headscarf is permanent. "If that headscarf is a permanent structure she would have had to apply to the City Council for planning permission for it by now!"

Scar looks over at Angela’s notebook, frowns and strikes out her comment: That performance was like kissing Scar! Of late, the mention of Cynthia has seemed to come in my every blog. There! Now it is including this one. Scar frowns a second time as he notices Cynthia in the crowd. He whispers to Angie: There are some people who are told that they can sing, and they swallow the lie Hook, Line and Cynthia.

Kawesa is keeping away from the potential flooding by hiding in his usual nest-perch giving him a Bird’s Eye View. So that is what the Independent means in ‘Independent Judge’? Sitting in an independent box.

The contestants are introduced. The double whammy songs mean there will be a wardrobe change at half time. But what in high heavens was Trinah wearing for her first song? Surely iDENTiTY could identify some proper clothes without looking like they have started a new design line for the series Prison Break.

Nicolette kicks off the show with a performance that annoys ‘Absolutely Everybody’. Nicolette really has been on a mission to press the self destruct button in this showpiece event. When she made it to Top 5, I knew she was going places but I really did not know one of the first places was the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. Scar labels her opening the worst in the Spectaculars. That means worse than Cynthia’s opening of the Top 10. The same Cynthia who has since dropped out of her competition with Uncle Bob as Africa’s Most Hated.

On a night when the show had creative openings by contestants, Ammara has her Marilyn Monroe moment on the bar-stool drawing oodles and oodles of cheers from the males in the crowd. If she had fallen off that bar-stool, she would have forever had Alicia Key's 'Fallin' as her personal theme tune. Simon Cowell banned the song from American Idols but that decision would be overturned if he heard the Ammara rendition.

Remember I am on the sofa in the Fan Lounge. Sofa so good! And before Lebo could say ‘Here … is Eric!’ the girls have upped the cheers. Without once looking back over his shoulders, he sings quite impressively to an extent that someone asks me: Are you sure the song was by Mike and The Mechanics… or was it Eric and the Mechanics? Okay, hand Eric the Nobel Prize for Music!

Now mark ‘These Words’. I had tipped Trinah at the outset to be the Top Girl and I still fancy her. Not in the Biblical sense, Her opening gimmick is sitting next to the front row and belting out the Natasha Beddingfield hit edging her to a 2-1 lead at half time according to the judges.

Adiona walks the six steps to make her appointment with the mic to sing This Is My Now (a feat that Trina later reprised in her ‘On My Own’ song). Wild-card Adiona’s performance of late has been quite like burger hawkers McDonalds. I’m lovin it!

Nicolette returns and somewhat redeems her credibility with ‘A Moment Like This’. It is probably too little too late though. If she stays in the competition, she is only going to play the violin for the other contestants in the Finale. For the night's low point - in the truest sense of the word - came when Nicolette sang the low notes in such a mundane way you would have thought you were listening to a lullaby.

Lady-In-Red Ammara opens her second performance as if she had really fallen. She has really upped up her opening routine and knows just how to make the audience get to the “Ooo…” moment and hold on to them until the end of the song without making them lose the “…oooohhh” part. Her first song still sounded better though as my ears ‘Hurt’ when she sings this one.

You probably know what happens ‘When A Man Loves A Woman’ but you should have seen what happens When A Crowd Loves An Idol! Eric has really mastered the routine as he returns with the show stopper! He serenades Angela, serenades the whole crowd and then from the crowd picks out one girl. It was such a where-were-you moment! Forget Jose Mourinho! Eric Moyo really is the Special One. He even really is the Extra Special One.

I picture the press interview of the girl after the show. She is hysterical! “I want the bus to run over me! I want to get a heart attack! Throw me into the Lions Den! Bring the Firing Squad! Somebody please, let me have cyanide! Eric sang to me! I can die happy!”

Trinah is now in trouble! The bar has been raised and she clearly had joined in the cheering of Eric as she seems to lose her voice as she begins her ‘On My Own’ song. Later in the song, she breaks into the high notes previously achieved only by Ammara. It is one of those moments when you just say to yourself: “Did I just hear that? No way!” But with Eric’s hat trick, the score from the three judges has clearly reversed to 2-4.

Adiona closes a memorable show with ‘Lady Marmalade’ by wiping a kiss off Scar. With her suggestive costume, she really is trying to change the Top 5 headlines so that they may read: SCAR-NDALOUS!

Pardon my French, but the suggestive chorus ‘Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir?)’ means ‘Do you want to sleep with me (tonight?)’ right? Time to put this review to sleep, then.

It is sad as we realize the show had really moved at a fast pace like clockwork. It was tight. It was tighter than Scar’s lips in the Malawi auditions. No silly questions, no long video intros. In fact, the only thing that went on for long was Eric’s applause after he brought the house down with his second song. The headlines remain: ERIC THE PICK OF THE EPIC!

***

There are serious sound issues on TV and that manifested itself particularly at the Top Six. When you get to watch on the idiot box, it almost sounds different. My favourite Trinah (and Salsera forgive me for my take on her first wardrobe choice) was low when she started out at the Bomas. But when I checked it out on TV, her start was flawless which is why my unedited review seems wrong.

I was hoping Ammara makes it at least to the Top 3. But like some one said on this Forum, she sounded like a one-trick pony.

About the voting, you see I was hoping that she gets to the top 3 and that her fans would still vote her in so I didn't bother to vote. But as it turns out, maybe Aziza is right on one count, the fans didn't vote enough to keep her in.

It is a bit sad that the voting is shrouded in mystery. You wouldn't even know how many votes someone got, unlike AI where Ryan Seacrest will dangle some numbers like 50 million votes were cast,

I think the whole format of Idols where you vote for the one you want to stay rather than the one you want to go gives room for mediocre performers on a night to still get by since votes get split. But I am sure if you only said Vote For The Worst (and I do not mean that website!) the votes cast will be lower and Celtel (or is it Mnet) will probably not recoup the money.

Good people, I have been following the debate, Quite fascinating.

Ladybam,

Idols… Six of the Best

When Sunday comes, it only means one thing: the Idols come visiting our houses. And with beauty queen Cynthia having left, an air of ugly expectation had gripped the Idols fraternity with realization that one talented singer would still go home week after week. It was African theme week, and if the Jacob Zuma loved song Umshini Wami (Bring Me My Machine Gun) was chosen by any contestant, we were going to be blown away.

First things first. Lebo, in bloo shirt, was doing justice to his clothing designer. If he left the show and went into the thread business, the ‘Lebo Label‘ should be a smash hit.

The Judges looked more excited. Who wasn’t? Contestant. You. Negatively. Treated. Here. Isn’t. Around! In one word, C.Y.N.T.H.I.A…

TK still thinks he is The King (TK), Angel A in a headscarf for a second week running still thinks there can be no Angel B and Scar still thinks he’s the Tzar. Only in my mind, Lebo asks Scar: Will we miss Cynthia? And Scar replies: Depends on how accurately we shoot!

What Scar knows is that the audience has lost the chance to hold out placards written ‘LMAO’ or ‘LOL’ after each Cynthia performance. And what Kawesa (who gets booed at each intro for that ‘trash’ comment) knows is that he can no longer tell us the six words: Vote Wisely. Or Vote For Cynthia.

Back to the show. It was going to be a tall order for contestants to bring out their vocal prowess in the African songs. And it sure turned out to be an order as tall as the giraffe that completely emerged as the star of the show.

Now, the rose that Mkhululi gave to the lucky girl last week has wilted by now, but his voice has not faltered. If he really wanted to give that girl a good gift, he would have bottled his sultry voice and handed it over to her. The beauty of not doing that is that he got to sing to us ‘Mhla Uphel Amandla’ where he still touched some hearts without moving anything but his lips. Kawesa, who is never on the ground at the Bomas, thought it was the Ground Zero performance of the night.

Nicolette has been one of my favourites as she increases the lighting in my living room with that smile. She has a smile as wide as Watamu Beach. I don’t want to put the model label on her, but she may be causing a bitter contest between Colgate and Close Up on her endorsement of their products. Even the smiley has nothing on her. Julia Roberts comes close, but can she sing? Nicolette that is. Song choice had the word smile in its title. Eish. Her performances have been more of yo-yo. Brilliant the other day, good the other week, average this week. ‘A Cry, A Smile, A Dance’ was better done by Judith. The positioning of the mic was such that you couldn’t even see the lips that kissed the giraffe.

Eric on the other hand has really infuriated the Association of Barbers of Africa. Young boys across the continent are refusing to have their hair shaved! But if the biblical Samson had strength in his hair, Eric’s hair might add to the powerful voice that is God given. Ringo will be somewhere trying to rekindle the Beatles and wondering how someone could have pulled off a better ‘Sondela’ complete with Swahili lyrics.

When it comes to a female musician, you usually get two kinds: A diva or Adiona. That was until Adiona came onto the stage yet again. She is the only female musician who is in both categories of female musicians. If you were in her shoes (which no doubt Angela as per the first audition wishes she was) you would like to do a Freshly Ground song that has repetitive lyrics. You did good girl. And thanks for answering my question.

Trinah will never work for the Post Office. Because whilst the Mailman does not deliver on Sunday, she delivers each Sunday. Her performances have been phenomenal. I think the only reason Angela said God had given us a Malaika (Angel in Swahili) when she heard Faycal was because she had yet to meet Trinah at the auditions. She really is. It only gets better and better each Sunday. Nice job (though not excellent). But maybe it is her ‘Destiny’ to win this competition.

Ammara is the only lady left in the competition whom you could try to use the pick up line: The name is ________. Remember the name, you will be SCREAMING it later. She may have been dubbed worst by Kawesa last week, but her version of ‘Vulindlela’ was however toned down on the screaming and the Maasai outfit clad girl did very well with the dancing combined. It was okay. Brenda, who is now with the real Big Dude, would have been proud.

Now, Jacob Zuma (do they ever call him Jay Z?) may be a lookalike of Papa Shirandula of the Coke BRRRR advert but after this performance, he would be singing: BRRRRring Me My Camera! So that he can get those tourist feature shots of the giraffe. And then we will start hearing the song… ‘I Shot The Giraffe… But I Did Not Shoot The Deputy!’

The contestants could have tried out even better known singers like Yvonne Chaka Chaka or singers from across the continent, but all in all, it was great way to pay homage to African musicians. The show must go on and one person has to go home. So as we vote, we should ask ourselves hard questions, if we are honest with ourselves. Does he bring tears to your eyes as he sings? Don’t just vote because she holds the microphone as if it was a pleasure toy and makes you get carried away. Please. Let us vote for the best performances. Or vote for Mkhululi.

Salsera, Your wish is my command.

Trinah's journey so far

Top 7
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0TQABdSUFnI

Top 8
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Hre3k6r0MXU&feature=related

Top 9
http://youtube.com/watch?v=T9DxmLytqOM&feature=related

Top 10
http://youtube.com/watch?v=p3ixiFTBjk0&feature=related

Top 24
http://youtube.com/watch?v=epOVsgGsqhU&feature=related

TRINAH!

I beat LC to it, with this review, but will still wait for his review,

The Top Seven Show

Welcome to the Idols Top Seven or the Idols-Top-Six-and-One-Other as some people have claimed. You know one of the advantages of Cynthia being on this show, is that it has made many people realize the value of the MUTE button on the TV remote.

This was a Sunday when the sun was not showing up during the day. Do they still call Nairobi the City in the Sun? My jewels froze at the Safari 7s, gave away my Project Fame Finale tickets and beat traffic so as to watch the show from the comfort of the couch. Coffee, check! Speakers, check! MUTE button, check! Do Not Disturb sign at the door, check!

The Idols make another appearance to my house this time arranged in order of their ages from Nicolette to Eric. As the contestants troop in, Lebo is clearly and visibly having butterflies. Oh, I mean on his jacket. Next time, they will arrange them in order of height and finally, Cynthia will be top of a category!

Trinah knows its cold so she kicks off the show with a lot of heeeeeaaaaat. As usual, her performance is bordering on flawless. Everybody loves her so if she really wants to dance with somebody who loves her, she is going to do a lot of dancing! What a great way to begin!

Last week Eric almost headbutted the camera when he was introduced as the first act… though the cameraman wasn’t worried since the afro is a great cushion. That was last week. This was ‘Here and Now’. It was a night when Eric Moyo lived up to his last name (in Swahili) and stole the hearts of everybody.

And then along came Cynthia. Is it any wonder that the phrase STILL HERE rhymes with CYNTHIA?

The truth is, if someone came up with a beauty product called SKUNK and they became the sponsors of Idols, Cynthia, who is having a stinker in this show, will probably win Skunk Idols!

Added to her long list of crimes against music was a rendition of ‘One Day I’ll Fly Away’ which granted, was an improvement. Sure, there isn’t any place to go when you are at the bottom.

Angie turned the judgment to her and asked her for a score out of Ten. The crowd roared: ELEVEN! No wonder tickets to the show are so scarce nowadays. Her entire village is checking in.

If you have ever studied numerology, you know that Cynthia’s chances when she entered the Top 10 were a simulacrum of her weekly score. One out of ten. Ever the modest one, she gave herself seven AND A HALF. We know she can’t sing but she can’t judge too? Anyway, enough about Angela… oh… Cynthia…

During a commercial break, which wasn’t a period of quiet reflection for me, I decide to check my text messages. Marto has asked, ‘How is Cynthia doing? I love that girl’

Love? Look mister, am not a cheap erotic writer. But let me try… Some people will not be satisfied even if she took off her blouse and rubbed her exposed chest with ice cubes as she sang. Anyways, so Scar still labels her Houdini!

Whilst I had thought Adiona was most likely to take the walk this week, she sang ‘The Weakness In Me’ quite well. If you compare it with Debra Chansa’s audition, Adiona’s version ought to bail her out. And people like me who had written her off are going to remember the three little words. Not. So. Fast.

Now ‘Have I Told You Lately’ that if M-Net gave Mkhululi a new job at their call centre, he will be answering the phone: Hallo, this is your smooth operator…

He painted a rosy picture of the performances this night and made one girl the recipient of a red rose. Two girls actually, if you count the other rose at the end of the show. And he even said there were more roses backstage. Roses aside, the boy sang well and deserved the applause and the love.

Now, those Ammara fans have to listen up. Your Idol Ammara is not an Idol yet. And she is making it even harder if she sings as she did. ‘Careless Whisper’ has never been sung so carelessly! And the screaming just doesn’t go with a song title that has the word ‘whisper’ in it’s title! It wasn’t any wonder Kawesa thought this was the worst :sick:of the night… and in many ways, Cynthia aside, he was right. She however got some brownie points for those childhood photos… eh. Brownie for Ms. Brown, get it?

Nicolette had problems in her ‘History’ assignment for she had lost her voice. She must have prayed hard to get the voice back for the show, and just appropriately, took on Madonna and the song ‘Like A Prayer’. It wasn’t as good as last week. The dancing around and catching notes was awkward and quite the anti-climax to the show. If she was Nico-ROCKS last week, this was more of Nico-SHOCKS, but granted her difficulties with the voice, it was a good (as opposed to ‘not too good’) performance.

As Cynthia will no doubt rate it, that was a show AND A HALF. It was good show at the Bomas where Mkhululi was the top dawg… and if girls want to be get the roses next time, the poster to accompany such performance, is only one: BHEBHE CAN I HOLD YOU TONIGHT!

LC, this was my pre-show summary

The Top Nine Show

So I arrived at Bomas with a trash bin which I was hoping to present to Kawesa but the bouncers were not seeing the funny bit. Sorry Mr. Environment aka Kawesa. This inspiration was when I actually saw a huge billboard of the City Council of Nairobi stating that we should keep the City clean. No trash in the top 10.

So if Cynthia is voted off this show, I will just host up a placard saying: THIS IS A TRASH FREE ZONE.

First up, the cocktail moment. For some reason, the event organizers have calculated that the traffic snarl up to Bomas ensures you are seated for an hour when getting there so you have to stand for an hour before you get into the theatre. But how time crawls when you are waiting for the show!

With a Fan Lounge ticket, it was always great to know I had an up-close view of the contestants. But the male to female ratio on the Lounge was 2:14. C’mon brothers. Represent! That is one less than the male contestants. I kept my wise counsel even as the gals screamed loudest when Scar made an appearance!

Lebo competed with Scar for the loudest cheers and I think Lebo just edged out Scar by one female vote. ‘I ONLY CAME TO SEE LEBO!’ said the gal next to me when she saw my puzzled look. Later in the show, a LEBO FOR PRESIDENT slogan went up eliciting shouts of ‘LEBO! LEBO! LEBO!’ from the gals. Thank God they didn’t put up a LEBO FOR HUSBAND slogan. I mean, a whole hour of listening to things like ‘If Lebo looks my way, I will send God a bottle of wine…’ and the gals ignoring my pleas of ‘I am here, gals’

If some people only came to see Lebo, they still had to sit through the nine contestants performances.

Ammara was first up. Everybody expects too much of the gal and rates her on a super status and not the normal status. She was alright.

Cynthia looked dashing in that black dress. ‘I only came to see Cynthia,’ I teased but was told that this was the last time I was seeing her whilst Lebo will be there till the end of the show. But as she sang, my mind drifted away… back in time. Please tell me the police are still looking for the bus driver who took Cynthia to Uganda for the auditions. Why didn’t the bus break down at the Busia border? Why didn’t the driver forget to fuel? Why? Why? Why?

Lebo aside, the only serious presidential material on stage all night was Eric. So when Comrade Bob is tired of running (Fake Editors note: ruining?) that country, he can pass the reigns to this comrade. Great performance and great effect on the crowd.

Scar thinks there are two types of singers. Those who love chocolates and bitches. Just kidding. (Scar actually said there are two types of singers. Those who scrape a living singing at weddings and bars; and then there are those who sell CDs. Eric, you belong to the second category)

Faycal did a bump and grind number that seemed to get on Scar’s nerves. Lebo even thought the evil J word was in play when Scar assessed the do.

Speaking of Judges, Angela was having moments after moments. She had her Radio DJ moments. She had her History Teacher routine after each song. She also had an Imelda Marcos moment when she saw Sam’s shoes. There isn’t a shoe Angie hasn’t wanted to put her feet in.

Nikki’s nerves improved according to Scar and she did NOT violently kill that song. She did it softly. As Johan Van Der Walt would say: Violins is never the answer! There was no violence. Just poisoned it. Sweetly smiled at it and just smothered it to death. I love this gal’s smile but she needs to step it up.

Mkhululi’s future is bright. So was his suit. For those who believe the only time a man should wear a white suit is at his funeral or when invited to P Diddy’s bash, this wasn’t working. His performance last week had been powerful so if you judge it based on last week’s performance, he dipped a bit.

Speaking of judging people on last weeks performances, Trinah did well as usual. This gal has a powerful voice and she was definitely born to sing. Her rendition of the First Cut Is The Deepest was superb.

You can check it out here,

http://www./video/x5q5u1_trinah-the-first-cut-is-the-deepest_shortfilms


Adiona was terrific and in a funny transposition of opposites, when she sings a song like ‘Am Every Woman’, every man wants to vote for her. This performance showed the judges did not waste the Wild Card… rather the mistakes were made by the voters who pushed some contestants to the Top 10.

Sam closed the show with a lot of vigorous dancing that left her breathless but which did not take Scar’s breath away. Of course Angie loved her outfit which was nothing to blog about. I Love Me Sam Her, but she really needs to step up.

My rating of the nine from best to worst was: TRINA, ERIC, ADIONA, AMMARA, MKHULULI, SAMANTHA, NICOLETTE, FAYCAL and CYNTHIA.

Kawesa has been getting boos from the crowd but he elicited laughter with his comment about Cynthia. This may be the Top Nine but it is Cynthia who has proved she has nine lives. Can she find herself in the Top 8? Keep watching.

As it turns out, if you ignore the mysterious Cynthia who couldn't sing at all, I had the bottom three correct as Samantha was the lsecond last safe person whilst Nicolette was in the bottom two as Faycal walked

LC, top analysis!!!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T to you!!!!

Kaydee

Same question I was asking myself.

How do you perform so badly and then go through to the Top 10.

Like LC said up there, Ammara and Samantha were the good voices. And they sang well even on Sunday. Well, Mukuni tried and so did Priscilla but they couldnt hold a light to Ammara. Meeghan and Cynthia, well, sucked, big time.

Judge Kaweesa tied to guide the voting but as usual the public got it wrong.

Which is what I had predicted at Post Number 27

Come on Akowonjo, these Judges are human.

Whilst we are busy judging the judges, we should remember that voters quite often get it wrong too.

Sometimes even voting on racist grounds? http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/6-16-2002-20565.asp

So it will be terrible if we had very good singers and got confused on who should be the Idol. If the Judges let a few rotten eggs through to the next stage and let a few very good singers out, it is all part of the excitement. Its what can make you vent on this forum. It is the same argument people use to say referees in football should not use video evidence. The Idols concept is good if we have a few mistakes here and there. Mistakes by the contestants (eg wrong choice of song), mistakes by judges (passing on good talent) and mistakes by the viewers (voting out people with talent).

http://ourkidbert..com/2008/04/idols-east-africa.html

Sometimes I blame ourselves too. I mean, sometimes we do not vote in some of these shows and hope that everybody who votes gets to be reasonable.

Well, shock on you.

Scar to contestant: You sound like a broke Michael Jackson

Angie to contestant: The only thing you and Beyonce have in common is booty, booty, booty

Scar to contestant who sang a song with a lyric, tic tic tac pau: Tic tic tac pau out of here!

Scar to contestant who said Whitney Austeeeeen (see Kiki Dixy above): It is a no from me. Go back to the Club!

Scar to contestant: Go find the person who told you that you could sing and strangle them or something.

Shockingly, the contestant who was told to go strangle somebody said she will never forger Scar and when she was asked why, she said she thought he might come out a bit harsh, but he is RIGHT!

Let me tic tic tac pau outta here!

Kobikwelu my friend,

You don't have to be a chicken to judge a good omelet.

Scar may be a hip hop artist, but he can judge music just as well as anybody else who has been blessed with the gift of hearing. So if we can all tell what a good vocalist is and what a bummer of a vocalist is, why cant we accept that even Scar, as indeed all those judges can make some judgment that is close to the truth.

I would actually like the situation where people who do not know about music, judge the music.

But if you think the judges are deaf, wait until the voting starts and you will wonder if all the people who vote are deaf.

Now, now, now, more to important things. Angela kissing Scar,

Oh wait, these is about the music, no?

Okay, they made good music!

Come on Akowonjo, these Judges are human.

Whilst we are busy judging the judges, we should remember that voters quite often get it wrong too.

Sometimes even voting on racist grounds? http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/6-16-2002-20565.asp


So it will be terrible if we had very good singers and got confused on who should be the Idol. If the Judges let a few rotten eggs through to the next stage and let a few very good singers out, it is all part of the excitement. Its what can make you vent on this forum. It is the same argument people use to say referees in football should not use video evidence. The Idols concept is good if we have a few mistakes here and there. Mistakes by the contestants (eg wrong choice of song), mistakes by judges (passing on good talent) and mistakes by the viewers (voting out people with talent).

In the meantime, please check out this blog when you can,


http://ourkidbert..com/2008/04/idols-east-africa.html

Call Scar a Simon wannabe but the boy has some quick spit-fire quotes.

I think you shouldn't sing to your boyfriend, he will think there is another man in the house.

Angela: What is that tattoo on your arm? A scorpion?
Contestant: It is a scarab
Angela: Scarab
Contestant: Yes, it is an Egyptian beetle.

Contestant sings

Scar: You should have let that scarab thing sing

That voice belongs to the trash, and that is where you should leave it.

To a contestant who had travelled a long distance by bus for the auditions
Step back on the bus and go back home

To a contestant who did a modelling thing before the audition
Your singing is just like your modelling, It's terrible.

Well well well. Isn't it always great to check out opinions of those who sing in the shower and end up breaking all mirrors then sit up and say: These guys are whack.

Come on guys. The show is at the auditions stage.

It follows the same theme all over from AI to Idols West Africa. Show the comedic auditions first, then when the contestants move on to the next stage, you will get a chance to see how they got there by viewing a clip of their first audition. If you only showed the contestants who went though, surely that is not good TV.

Whilst some of you will froth and rail at the Judges or even the Contestants, those of us who don't take life that seriously are just having a good time laughing at the comedic value of the Auditions. We are also feeling good that at least we are not the worst singers in the world, (shattered mirrors in the shower, notwithstanding)

And those who sit on the high horse and say: Idols West Africa Auditions were better, well, you need to have your ears checked. And whilst at it, get some glasses too. Coz we watched the same show, friends, and if you need prodding on your Memory Bank, then you can visit,

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/idols-africa/2059764793

So whilst Idols East Africa will show you the man with the wig trying to match his hair to his voice, Idols West Africa will show you the half naked man trying to imitate Femi Kuti. Its all part of the fun.

Check the beginning of the Idols West Africa link on this same Forum
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-33091.64.html

Babadee said
A good panel is made up of the bad guy, good guy and indifferent guy routine so Dede is just doing his thing though he's a bit over enthusiastic at times.
Idols WA is the most hilarious thing on tv of recent, really give it to those peeps who come on air and sound like broken records esp the dude who told Dede after he tried putting him down that he'll wreck more ears!

Klex said
[b]After watching the charade going on in the name of WA idols, i have come to the conclusion that the quality of judging is a greater let down than the quality of the contestants. To me, Dede is simply put, an unmitigated disaster!, where does he get off judging other people? what is his claim to fame? what is his musical pedigree? why must he be so foul mouthed and uncouth? is he the best that we have? and he has the audacity to call someone with the determination to be original a disgrace to musicology? wasnt he a loafer in shrine leeching off fela till he was kicked out? Its a crying shame that like in our political life we have once again put our worst foot forward in the competition.

Can anyone tell me if they have discovered any discerning criterion to selection by the judges? because i havent, I hear voices that i think yeah! only for those guys to just shoot them down. Why must dede come down so hard on young people whose only offence is that they dared to dream? If its not too late, i strongly urge the organisers to kick him off the show ASAP.

My verdict on the other judges. Nana is there to oil her lips and gaze into space while letting dede bully her while Dan Foster just salivates after the pretty girls.[/b]

So its not that bad, people! Its always the same thing.

Even American Idols has some of the funniest auditions, This Season, my Best was, Let My People Go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqzF3YL8laM

But we know that as the show progresses, the wheat is separated from the chaff.

All the way from Nairobi, just want to confess that this forum is brilliant. I find Lawyerchaps comments very witty and yet precise. Keep on!