@tessy
Tessy, OK Ihave called ur name so what next

@tope
hw now, I don chop so?

@kooldamsel

I'm in Delta state Girl and thats where I'm based.

@gilgee
I'm cool, do U stay in Agbor?

@kooldamsel
nothing much I'm just chillin out , wetin be the lastest 4 your side na?

@juninho
wetin dey guy? I'm not lost OK, I just get two houses were I fit bunk, got it?

@gilgee
You are very much wellcome, I like to know You more

@endure
whats good homie?

@siena
what of your sist how she dey?

A mother and son are walking through a cemetery, and pass by a headstone inscribed - "Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man." The little boy reads the headstone, looks up at his mother, and asks "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"

alright tope I give up 4 today

But wait I heard U were @ d Airport with a Basket in your Hand praying that d planes wud lays Eggs cos U thought they were birds.

*singing* I aint going anywhere I right here

well tope I heard after eating Custard U always use toothpicks

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer getsdissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designingand building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning andflush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,"So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning andflush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer isgoing to come up with next."God replies, "What You've got an engineer? That's a mistake --he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, andI'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just whereare you going to get a lawyer?" They are all Here aren't they?

tessy can I ask U a question Y are u a Goat?

@tope
I told U 2 piss off, and U went straight to d toilet.

THIS ARENA IS STRICTLY 4 STROKING, You can Stroke Anybody here but No RAw Langua, feel me


Like You reading this RIGHT NOW, YOUR Eyes are Bigger than your BrainS.

Ituen why People dey call U "Basket Ball Head" ?

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.

In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t."

Nothing against U homie but ur reply was offensive

iwajay:

Chuxy get a life.

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant doesn't answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."

The Godfather says, "Well, ask him where the @#!* money is." The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the three million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you're talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where the @#!* money is!"

The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "Okay! Okay! The money's hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well, what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

Yo Joki is Fu King Fu ni

osama

Iwajay U must be very stupid how d Bleep was I suppose do, I read every post evrybody sends. U must be stupid man.

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband abouthis lurid past.

"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women haveyou slept with?"

"Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit".

Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.

"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there'syou - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, "

Ituen best food na Meat Pie and Draw soup 2gether

@first pic

ituen is a backstabber, clem is a B**ch ,, Migines (poor boy)

Isreal

Yeah, she would have looked in the freezer. Coooooolllll joke

Hilarious

what da f**k!!

@kooldamsel
I'm cool baby Girl, whats up wit u?

@juninho
cool down men, its "one love" here

@tkb417
I'm not in ph men, I based for warri, sometimes asaba.

@juninho

U dey find recharge card?

I must not laugh. cos

1. this jokes are not funny
2. I've seen them like 10,000 times

Disater

@rosquare

it cant be U cant be the only Deltan in kano, no worry guys and chicks for that side go soon find out about this our this our HomeArena for nairaland so patient dog fattest bone

this is third time I seeing this Joke on Nairaland from 3 different posters