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Nairaland Forum / Elsieisy's Profile / Elsieisy's Posts
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Good morning Elsieisy. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3yrs now. Everything was very rosy for the first 18months after which I started having problems. I met her during my final year in school but then, she was a fresher. During the first 3months of our relationship, she turned down suitors who came for her hand in marriage all because of me which made her family to know about our relationship and since then, I’ve been like a part of the family. She even said she cannot marry another man except me. But now, it seems the feeling is no longer there. The problem started when I traveled to Abuja to see my parents during the strike. She cried and never wanted me to go beacuse she said she would miss me yet didn’t want to go with me cause of reasons best known to her. She stayed back in school and two days later, she told me she met a guy who bears my name and has been keeping her company. I didn’t suspect anything because I trusted her but I only told her to be careful and not misbehave which she promised I began to smell rat when she spent about a week without traveling yet doing nothing in school which made me threaten to tell her parents . And she had to travel since then, she’s been with the guy and anytime I talk about it, she tells me he’s just a friend. It got to a stage that the guy had to lie to her that a lady came to my house when she traveled and spent the night just for us to break up for him to have his way only for my girl to believe him and she almost called off She treats me anyhow she likes and even goes out with men despite my warnings. But note that for almost 3yrs we’ve been together, I’ve never cheated on her, I don’t even have friends because she tells me she doesn’t like the female friends I had and that I should call them in her presence and tell them to leave us alone that they are disturbing our relationship which I gladly do. But whenever I tell her to stop her friendship with any of her male friends, she tells me she can’t do it that she cannot leave them. I’m worried and confused because I love her and wish to marry her which we’ve both planned. But my problem is that she’s causing me unbearable pain. Please what should I do? Source - http://www.elsieisy.com/shes-causing-me-unbearable-pain-what-should-i-do/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you |
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Dear Elsians, What I did, I did out of love and protection but now I'm scared. People might ask me to confess what I've done but it's easier said than done. Twelve years ago I met this guy and fell immediately in love with him. Two years into our relationship when he had started hinting about marriage a strange girl almost broke our relationship apart. It was plain to see she didn't love him and was just there for his money. The love of my life started to change before my eyes. He didn't care about no one but this girl. Even his friends and families started to complain. He broke up with me because of her and my world almost stopped. The day I went to his house to reason with him, the place was a mess. Dishes everywhere, dirt lying about and I was shocked. Already his sisters told me how he spends on the girl and she doesn't lift a finger to do chores in the house whenever she's around and he even cooks for her when they don't go out to eat. I knew this wasn't normal and prayed about it but things got worse. A friend of mine told me I had to do something fast. She told me she was going to take me to see this prophet who will help me. I followed her and when we got there he told me my boyfriend was under an enchantment, that the girl has given him love portion that she put in her vagina. He said if I want my boyfriend back I should do as he says. He asked me to come with a white hen and fifty thousand naira. Although I was scared but my friend convinced me to do it. The next day I went with these items and after he said some words I didn't get to hear in a cup, he slaughtered the hen, poured the blood in a cup and asked me to take off my cloths. I was scared but I had already come this far so I did. He creamed my body with the blood. He didn't spare any part of my body. He rubbed it on my breast and even in my vagina ( I was so afraid and ashamed) then he told me to stand like that for 3 hours. To cut a long story short, he gave me the hen, asked me to cook for him and then get him to make love to me. The next day I went to his place in the guise that I want to help him clean the house up. After cleaning the house which was really filthy I prepared the meal for him. After he ate and went to the bedroom to relax I walked in on him naked. He did try to resist me but I pleaded while touching him places. I begged him that I missed him so let this be the last time and I promise to stop bugging him. We made love again and again. I remembered the prophet said ‘you should make sure he doesn't use a condom’, so I made sure he had exhausted the ones he had and thankfully he had only two so I reached out to him the third time and when he said he can't cause there was no more condoms, I told him I was safe and we made love the last third time. I went home and after seven days of waiting he came begging on his knees. That was how we finally got married. Now we've had eight happy years of married life with two beautiful kids but I'm not a happy person. My conscience won't let me sleep. The worst of them all my friend came to me and said I have to renew what I did because it expires every eight years. I can't go through with that ordeal again. I swear I didn't know I was also jazzing him. I thought what that man did was to break the spell that girl had on my man. Please readers help me. What do I do? Source - http://www.elsieisy.com/i-didnt-know-i-was-also-jazzing-him-help-me/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you |
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ednut1: I wonder why you al see every issue brought forward as a made up story. I am sure if you share a tiny bit of your life gist on here, someone else would also think its a made up story. Receive sense and look at blogs before making harsh comments. Not all bloggers are thirsty |
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xtervaganza: Don't you think you are a bigger fool for not realizing the situation was posted by op and not about op. Visit elsieisy.com maybe sense could be accorded to you. |
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“Good day. Please am *****. Am having a relationship problem and I count on you for the best solution. I have a fiance called Johnson, we have been dating for the past three to four years now… We both loved each other, share idea, infact everything together and by that, our relationship bond get stronger. Three months back, I met a guy on Facebook. He is known as Tolu. He said he would love to know more about me and I am the type of person who love socializing, so I told him lot about myself. Within time I turn out to be Tolu’s best friend to the extent that he calls me every day. Sometimes if I visit Johnson (my fiancé), he will call me to ask when I am going to leave Johnson’s place and when am I going to get home. The question really got Johnson angry because my phone was on loud speaker and he asked me “is there anything between you and this guy” which I replied “NO” but still he didn’t believe me… He’s no longer picking my calls nor replying my text… I beg him with everything, even to the extent I swear with my grandfathers’ grave. But still, he refused. All my friends and his own friend had been begging him but it all prove abortive. He keep saying “I am lying” And remember I have never seen Tolu face to face before. He is just my Facebook and whatsapp friend. Am really tired but I can’t let go. I don’t know the reason why love hurt this much. I don’t know if falling in love is a crime. Am really losing it all. But I have faith and that strong believe in elsieisy. Thanks. Awaiting your positive reply” Source - http://www.elsieisy.com/my-fiance-refuse-to-believe-me-what-do-i-do/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you 1 Like |
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“Pls ma, I’m actually going through an emotional trauma right now. My man just called it quit, though not through fight or whatever. I am from the eastern (igbo) and he is from the western. And we’ve been dating now for quite some time and he made it known to me that he really wanna get married to me. I really do love him too. He made me so close to his friends and his siblings and cousins except his mom and dad, because his mom is late and his dad is a very busy type, but since we were still just still dating I wasn’t bothered about not meeting his dad yet. Now, the problem is, he’s a BSc holder and working fine and he has an establishment too, but I am just an OND holder, which I still plan to further but not having enough source because of family background. He is aware of all this. We’ve been together for 10months. Just recently I suspected he was having another affair with another girl, so when I confronted him, he denied at first, but later opened up to me that it was true. I asked him his reason, and he said “I wanna get someone I can be serious with” and someone with a BSc. He pleaded with me on his kneels when I started weeping because it was so shocking to me. Like I wasn’t good enough for him? Please ma I really need your advice…” Source - http://www.elsieisy.com/dear-elsians-i-need-help/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you |
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“Am a girl aged 22 turning 23 next month. I’ve been dating this guy for over 9yrs, our relationship is an on and off thing. He left me to date other girls like twice. He dated the 1st one for about a year, in that year he would tell me he is not seeing her any more so we would get back then I’ll later find out that they are still together and yeah, we would break up again, then they eventually they broke up and we got back and we were happy. He promised he will never repeat what he did but he did it again because we had some misunderstanding because of his insecurities that gets him upset every time I don’t pick up his call or when I go out with my friend, so that led to us breaking up. He started dating another girl and we had been on and off with him because he was still with this other girl and was lying to me, I called the girl and asked how long they’ve been together and she told me they’ve been together for almost 3years that it’s been an on and off thing for them as well. So it’s like he would go to her when he argues with me and vice versa but now he says he’s changed and has made up his mind he wants to be with me. I’ve confirmed that they are officially done with the other girl, he seems serious this time, but am scared it just might be one of his old habits or maybe he is realized that he really loves me because he dumped the other girl for no reason and I asked him why he did that he told me that he did that because he realized that he can’t do without me… Should I take him back and give him another chance? Am so confused please help me ASAP before I make a mistake” Source - http://www.elsieisy.com/should-i-take-him-back/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you |
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I met this guy January 2 2014 through a mutual friend, we got talking on phone as I’m in Nigeria and he is abroad, we got connected so much that it seem like we’ve known each other all our lives, I was not in a relationship when we started talking and him too just got jilted at that time by his Nigerian girlfriend who couldn’t cope with the distance any longer, our relationship started so well that as months goes by I couldn’t see life without him, with time I got to meet with all his family down here in Nigeria as we planned to settle down the moment he comes down. 7months in our relationship we started making plans to join me here but the mum blatantly refused his coming to Nigeria, the mum said he need to make so much money before coming, and because of that incident, the mum started having issues with me that I am the one dragging his son to Nigeria because I am desperate, she called me all sorts of names which really hurt. To keep everyone at peace I then suggested to my boyfriend that I could join him over there since his mum and siblings doesn’t want him coming to Nigeria anytime soon, he obliged and we started my application, Nov 2014 he asked me to give my apartment up in Lagos and go to the village to spend some time with my parents since I will be traveling in few weeks, I Haven’t been given visa but I hate to turn him down when he talks so I did exactly that, I’ve been in the village now for 2 months with no place to fall back to, visa is not being approved by immigration, we now quarrel with every flimsy reason, I am 28yrs old, a graduate with nothing to fall back on, I’m in my father’s house, I need your advice, should I still stick to Him and wait or move on with my life ![]() Source - http://www.elsieisy.com/should-i-still-stick-to-him/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you 1 Like |
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kentornic: Blogging is. Easier. Described than done. Its serious hard work. Would love you all to visit www.elsieisy.com and let's have your candid opinion. ![]() |
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7 Everyone was fully basked in surprise as Adenike’s mum rushed to her husband to calm him down while trying to understand what was going on. Tade wasn’t paying attention to his wife at this point. He was consumed by anger and was trying his best to contain it. John kept shifting his gaze from Adenike’s dad to his own mum. “Leave this house before I do something I might regret” he yelled in disgust. “Tade please we can talk about this. Let’s talk things over. It’s not what you think.” “Think? This is no imagination or perception. I lived through this. Watch your tongue woman” “I am sorry. I really am. Please we can still talk about it all.” Everyone kept mute, trying to understand what the issue was as Tade (Adenike’s dad) and Yejide (John’s mum) continued their rambling. “Talk? Did you say talk? You almost ruined my life. I loved you like I’ve never loved any other. You took away the sunshine I thought was mine. You are the devil herself. Whoever thought the devil is a man has definitely not met you.” “Can someone tell me what is going on here?” John Shouted to interrupt Tade . “Ask this woman” he replied, pointing at Yejide. “I suppose she is your mother. I am surprised she didn’t abandon you with your father too to die” Adenike’s dad replied with the same tone. Ok Ok Ok. Mum, don’t just sit there, say something, whats going on here?” John shouted at his mother. She started crying and managed to tell her son she can explain. “Of course mum. There had better been an explanation to this drama on a day like this.” John Snapped. John’s mum still focused on Tade with so much tears in her eyes ignored her son and spoke up. “Tade I am sorry. I had to do it. Well, maybe I shouldn’t have but I was left with no choice at all.” “You had no choice? Because all you ever wanted was comfort. Did you ever think of your daughter? Did you ever look back? And to think you said you loved me. Someone should get this woman out of my house!” “Tade, please, I am sorry. I know I hurt you. I know what I did can’t be justified. But I need you to forgive me for the sake of our children. Please” “Forgive? Yes I will forgive if only you can bring back my daughter from the dead. Seems I need to remind you of what you did woman! You abandoned our 2weeks old daughter with me and ran away. You expected me to take care of a 2weeks old baby. How? With which breast? How? Even if you really had to leave me, couldn’t you have thought about our daughter? A child you carried for 9months. How much more insensitive could you be? Olorun” he snapped back with a shrug. “I thought of her all through, I did. I always think of you both. It haunted me and still haunts me. I knew you would take care of her.” “Oh wow! Thanks for the vote of confidence, yes I tried my best but my best wasn’t god enough. She died after 1year. I did all I could until one day, I left her with my neighbor to go to work, only for me to be back to the news of my Temidare’s death. She drank a poisonous substance and no one noticed until it was too late. Tell me, if you were there for our daughter, would that have happened? My life shattered when you left and my only source of joy was my daughter and then my life came to a halt when she died.” “Tade, im sorry. My parents threatened to disown me. They would never have accepted us. They were bent on making our lives a living hell. It was too much for me and I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. I know I was wrong. I know I wronged you. I think of you and my daughter as each day goes by. I have lived in the shadows of my past for too long” Yejide broke down uncontrollably. Mum, how could you? How? So you married my dad cause of his money? Status? I can’t believe this.He chuckled… To think that “my sister” died of your selfishness. I.. I mean, H… HOW could you? John stammered as he stormed out of the house…….. SOURCE - www.elsieisy.com |
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6 Child? Where? How? John? She stuttered. The look on John’s mum’s face gave Adenike a scare. She was frightened and surprised at the same time as she slowly moved her gaze to John then looked down at the same pace. John had a fixed unperturbed look directed at his mum, placed his hand on Adenike’s shoulder to pull her close. “Where is the child?” John’s mum asked, breaking the silence. “Err…. Her name is Pamilerin ma, she lives with me in my parents’ house” “And her father?” “He denied the pregnancy and I haven’t heard from him since then’ “How old is your daughter?” “She will turn four by march” “How…………” (John cuts in) Mummy, Denike is pregnant, she is carrying my baby. We just found out and decided to come back to inform you. “Iro o!”, exclaimed John”s mum The news was a bit too much for John’s mum to gulp all together in that short while but she was trying to. She heaved a deep sigh, sat into the cushion still trying to understand her feelings. “You mean she’s carrying my grandchild?” “Yes mum.” John replied. And considering the fact that she already had a child in her parent’s house, it won’t be nice for her to have another one in the same house. Mum I want us to get married as soon as possible. I can get married even next week. All I need is your consent and blessing.” After 30seconds of silence. John’s mum finally broke the silence. “My dear, I also got pregnant before my wedding day but there was a difference. I realized I was pregnant after the wedding date had been fixed. But who am I to judge her? I am not God O! I am not saint… Not even close she said throwing her face to the side with a listless expression and she is carrying my grandchild. My prayer has been answered. My son is finally going to settle down and has given me a grandchild. Since you both want to do this, I can only give all the support I can. John, since today is Saturday, can we go and see Denike’s parents tomorrow just to get acquainted with them, let them know our intention then pick a day to go visit them with your Uncles. You know we need to inform your Uncles at least a week to the visitation day. I will take out time to inform them myself during the week.” John nodded in response and affirmation to his mother’s suggestions. Adenike was already on her knees in gratitude for her mother-in-law’s understanding. She couldn’t ask for a better mother-in-law. “eh eh eh ….ma se omo mi lese jo, please get up.” Was John’s mum’s response as she pulled her soon to be daughter-in-law up. ************ It was soon Sunday morning. Adenike was quick to tell her parents about the visitor they would have as soon as she got home the previous night. Her dad asked why the news came in such a short notice but she was quick to tell them John’s mum will be travelling out of the country soon and might stay there a bit longer than usual, so john decided to hasten the wedding preparations before his mum’s departure. She apologized to them for the short notice but Her parents were a little bit skeptical but would definitely not tell their daughter to turn a potential suitor away. Adenike’s mode of worship was far different and could literally spell out her joy. Everyone who knew her in church knew there was something extraordinary about her, she danced like she never had during praises, worship wholeheartedly during worship and was the first the attest to every word that came out of the pastor’s mouth during sermon. She was overwhelmed with joy. Most people could only walk up to her to say ‘your joy shall be permanent’, since they were sure it had to be good news. The service soon came to an end. They all headed back home without staying for any extra church meeting because of the August visitor. As usual, Pamilerin stayed back to play with the Pastor’s daughter which is a regular sunday ritual for her. As soon as they got back, Adenike and her mum dashed into the kitchen to prepare some food for the visitors. Adenike kept on telling her mum how wonderful, loving and caring John’s mum has been to her. She told her mum that she had always harbored the fear of having a horrible mother-in-law at the back of her mind, but God smiled down on her even when she does not deserve it. “God takes care of his own in his own way. He has seen all you went through with the pregnancy even though you had most of the fault. But he is a merciful God and has finally smiled down on us.” Just then, Adenike’s phone rang. She smiled and picked. After a short conversation she informed her mum that they were already on their way and should get to their house in no time. “Alright dear, food is ready too, so they are welcomed to meet us well.” They both laughed, finished what they had left to do and soon went to freshen up. Just as they settled in the sitting room, they heard the gate open and a car drive in. It can only be John and his mum. Adenike went out to welcome them. Adenike led the way, ushered John in, then his mother. They were both introduced to Adenike’s mum and was well settled in when Adenike’s mum went to the room to call on her husband. She came back to inform them that he would with them in a bit. Adenike’s dad walks into the sitting room, without anyone noticing due to the chitchat and greeting. He got everyone’s attention when he shouted at the top of his voice with so much fury…..”Yejide Owolabi! What are you doing in my house? SOURCE - www.elsieisy.com |
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5 At a point i stood still in awe and wondered, not. knowing what to do as my mum dash in and out of the kitchen. She sprinkled water on Adenike’s face and Nike blinked. I was brought back to reality when my mother beckoned on me to come help her place Adenike on the couch. I rushed towards them, raised her up and placed her on the couch. “The first time i ever fainted was when i found out i was pregnant of Pamilerin, can i be pregnant? I wouldn’t be surprised if i be pregnant this time, because we practically threw caution (protected sex) out of the window after the proposal”. She pondered as she sat quietly. Mum thought same too, but decided to keep quiet and stay out of the matter. She sat pretty closed to Adenike and tried to make her comfortable. “Hey, I am Deji, your soon to be best man, sorry they forgot to introduce me. Apology accepted, thank you, you are welcome” Deji said. Trying to be funny with his embrayotic British accent. He succeeded in making everyone laugh, lunch was served and done. Soon everyone was ready to be on their way home. As soon as they drove out of the compound, Adenike pleaded with John to drive her to the hospital. She insisted that she needed to know why she fainted. After a little while in the hospital, the result came out and she was truly pregnant. John was very happy but Adenike wasn’t. She thought of her telling her mum shes pregnant again before marriage and how disappointing that would be after the love and support that has been shown to her in the past despite her mistake. She told John how she felt about the situation and wouldn’t mind aborting the baby. And that very point it felt like Adenike just activated a bomb. John was so furious. Adenike had never seen in such anger, he was saying so many things at the same time that she couldn’t put the words together; she could feel the pain in his voice and volcanic heat in his actions. He was causing a scene actually and she had to go down on her knees to get John’s attention and calm him down. They resolved to speeding up the marriage plan so that nobody would have to notice the pregnancy before marriage. He drove right back to his mum’s. As John’s mum saw them drive in, she was really surprised and wondered what must have happened. She rushed out to the driveway before they got out of the car to find out what had happened but John assured her that nothing was wrong and that they just needed to talk to her about something and that they both need her love and support. They headed back into the house and settled in. John told his mum about Adenike’s pregnancy. She was overwhelmed with Joy, did some dancing and hugged Adenike. She then sat close to her , since they both were obviously not in the same mood as she is. She then looked at her son and asked, “what is the problem in her being pregnant?” Before John could answer his mum, Adenike spoke up “Mummy, has John told you i have a child?” John’s mum gave her son a startled look……… SOURCE - www.elsieisy.com |
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4 Child? Where? How? John? She stuttered. The look on John’s mum’s face gave Adenike a scare. She was frightened and surprised at the same time as she slowly moved her gaze to John then looked down at the same pace. John had a fixed unperturbed look directed at his mum, placed his hand on Adenike’s shoulder to pull her close. “Where is the child?” John’s mum asked, breaking the silence. “Err…. Her name is Pamilerin ma, she lives with me in my parents’ house” “And her father?” “He denied the pregnancy and I haven’t heard from him since then’ “How old is your daughter?” “She will turn four by march” “How…………” (John cuts in) Mummy, Denike is pregnant, she is carrying my baby. We just found out and decided to come back to inform you. “Iro o!”, exclaimed John”s mum The news was a bit too much for John’s mum to gulp all together in that short while but she was trying to. She heaved a deep sigh, sat into the cushion still trying to understand her feelings. “You mean she’s carrying my grandchild?” “Yes mum.” John replied. And considering the fact that she already had a child in her parent’s house, it won’t be nice for her to have another one in the same house. Mum I want us to get married as soon as possible. I can get married even next week. All I need is your consent and blessing.” After 30seconds of silence. John’s mum finally broke the silence. “My dear, I also got pregnant before my wedding day but there was a difference. I realized I was pregnant after the wedding date had been fixed. But who am I to judge her? I am not God O! I am not saint… Not even close she said throwing her face to the side with a listless expression and she is carrying my grandchild. My prayer has been answered. My son is finally going to settle down and has given me a grandchild. Since you both want to do this, I can only give all the support I can. John, since today is Saturday, can we go and see Denike’s parents tomorrow just to get acquainted with them, let them know our intention then pick a day to go visit them with your Uncles. You know we need to inform your Uncles at least a week to the visitation day. I will take out time to inform them myself during the week.” John nodded in response and affirmation to his mother’s suggestions. Adenike was already on her knees in gratitude for her mother-in-law’s understanding. She couldn’t ask for a better mother-in-law. “eh eh eh ….ma se omo mi lese jo, please get up.” Was John’s mum’s response as she pulled her soon to be daughter-in-law up. ************ It was soon Sunday morning. Adenike was quick to tell her parents about the visitor they would have as soon as she got home the previous night. Her dad asked why the news came in such a short notice but she was quick to tell them John’s mum will be travelling out of the country soon and might stay there a bit longer than usual, so john decided to hasten the wedding preparations before his mum’s departure. She apologized to them for the short notice but Her parents were a little bit skeptical but would definitely not tell their daughter to turn a potential suitor away. Adenike’s mode of worship was far different and could literally spell out her joy. Everyone who knew her in church knew there was something extraordinary about her, she danced like she never had during praises, worship wholeheartedly during worship and was the first the attest to every word that came out of the pastor’s mouth during sermon. She was overwhelmed with joy. Most people could only walk up to her to say ‘your joy shall be permanent’, since they were sure it had to be good news. The service soon came to an end. They all headed back home without staying for any extra church meeting because of the August visitor. As usual, Pamilerin stayed back to play with the Pastor’s daughter which is a regular sunday ritual for her. As soon as they got back, Adenike and her mum dashed into the kitchen to prepare some food for the visitors. Adenike kept on telling her mum how wonderful, loving and caring John’s mum has been to her. She told her mum that she had always harbored the fear of having a horrible mother-in-law at the back of her mind, but God smiled down on her even when she does not deserve it. “God takes care of his own in his own way. He has seen all you went through with the pregnancy even though you had most of the fault. But he is a merciful God and has finally smiled down on us.” Just then, Adenike’s phone rang. She smiled and picked. After a short conversation she informed her mum that they were already on their way and should get to their house in no time. “Alright dear, food is ready too, so they are welcomed to meet us well.” They both laughed, finished what they had left to do and soon went to freshen up. Just as they settled in the sitting room, they heard the gate open and a car drive in. It can only be John and his mum. Adenike went out to welcome them. Adenike led the way, ushered John in, then his mother. They were both introduced to Adenike’s mum and was well settled in when Adenike’s mum went to the room to call on her husband. She came back to inform them that he would with them in a bit. Adenike’s dad walks into the sitting room, without anyone noticing due to the chitchat and greeting. He got everyone’s attention when he shouted at the top of his voice with so much fury…..”Yejide Owolabi! What are you doing in my house? www.elsieisy.com |
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3 “Adenike…that one will never call sef. Who knows if she has a boyfriend abi boyfriends. All these girls of nowadays can lie jor” Adenike had a long fun filled night with the girls. They call it “Girls night out”. Had little alcohol, danced, a lot of gist, girls gossips and laughter, little flirting…summarily, she had a fun filled night. Adenike really liked John’s personality, she talked a little about him to her friends but told them she wasn’t sure John liked her that much and she was going to lay low and hope he makes a move real soon. Blessing, her naughty friend told her to go for him if she really wants him. In her words, she said “This is the 21st century babe, don’t dull abeg. When did you become this timid?” Adenike waved off the advice. “Babe I’ve been there and done that. I need to be sure, if he likes me and if he is man enough, he will reach out and I’ll get the message fast enough. Trust your girl na. She winked and they all laughed. John had nothing to do for the rest of the day so he decided to clean up the house and do some washing since there was light.In just about an hour or there about, the house cleaning and laundry was done. Many thanks to the washing machine he just bought. Just as he sat down on the cushion, admiring his job, he suddenly felt a thump in his belly it was then he realized how hungry he was and sensed his tummy would start a riot very soon. He went to his neighbor to get food. John has always seen himself as a very lucky bachelor to have Tastee Fried Chicken as a next compound neighbor. After treating himself to a delicious fried rice, with vegetable and cat fish for breakfast, he went back home to freshen up and as he was getting ready to plug his TV game console that would engage him all day, his phone rang again. He picks up.. He picks up..”Guy, how far?” ………..”I dey o”…..”Nothing is happening, just chilling at home. Na game sure pass”……”which wan?”……who and who dey go?…..”time?”….. “Ok make I call you back. Give me 15minutes” It was John’s friend Jide, telling him of a beach plan including Jide, his girlfriend, his cousin and his cousin’s girlfriend. John was very interested in going with them to the beach but the thought of him being the single guy going to a beach with 2 couples was really scary. “Well..inviting Adenike won’t be a bad idea, I pray she doesn’t say No. I have not spoken to her since Monday. I truly hope she says yes” *He dials Adenike’s number and she picks up.* “Hi handsome” John smiles and replied “Hello beautiful, how are you this morning?” “I’m fine dear, thanks. How are you?” She replies. “I’m doing good” he says. Just as he was thinking of how to invite her to the beach hang out, she asked “how’s your saturday going?”. He didn’t waste time to shout “boring” she laughed and went “*awww pele dear” without wasting any time, John speaks up “Er….m, My friend called me up to join in a beach hangout. I don’t want to go alone, so I was hoping you don’t have a wedding to attend today.” Adenike, laughing at the wedding statement asked “what if I don’t have a wedding to attend?” “Then you will be my date” John replied. “Hehehehehe! So having a wedding to attend is the only obstacle that can possibly stop me from going to the beach with you?”. “Ok beauty, I’m a gentle man, so I would ask politely. Adenike darling, please be my date to the beach. I know I’m just telling you this bit I really need you by my side today” Adenike already flattered at the use of the word “Need” let all her girlie guard down and simply asked “what time should I be ready?” Where do I pick you up by 1?” John asked. “I would be at the mall by 1. Please don’t keep me waiting. “I sure won’t want you to be stolen away before I get there” they both laughed. “See you soon” John ended the call. *** At the beach After much pleasantries and introductions. There was a general gist that lasted just 30mins and each guy practically faced his babe. John thanked God silently in his heart that Adenike came around. He looked at her and smiled, she smiled back and said “let’s go for a walk” John agreed without hesitation and they both excused themselves. They walked hand in hand for about 2minutes, enjoying the view and the rhythmic dance of the ocean without saying a word. “Adenike thinking, Here we are. Walking hand in hand. I really like this guy. God please let him be single, let him accept me for who I am and let him ask the question right now” ” In John’s thought, I’ve been in this lonely zone for too long. I need to get my life back, Betty is definitely happy with him now. Here is Adenike, totally mature and loving, I like her and am sure she likes me too. Come to think of it, no girl will accept going to the beach with a guy at such short notice if they are not dating or she has no feelings for the guy. I should make a move” John breaks the silence “Nike” “yes dear” she replied. “Can you be my woman?” Nike gave a shy smile and called out John in a very sexy way. John continued “I’m serious about this Nike. I know we just met but I like your personality and I hope we grow to love each other. That is if you would let us.” Adenike stopped walking, held John’s hand, looked into his eyes and planted a kiss on his chin. “Let’s try” she said. John gave Adenike a bear hug ….. And that was the beginning of a new chapter for John. *** Both of them were very open, not assuming, no doubts, great deal of understanding, love , caring and sharing, theirs can be described as 3 months of an almost perfect relationship. One friday evening, Adenike sends John an SMS which read “Hi love, hope you had a stress-free day. There’s something I need to talk to you about. Please let me know when we can see” The tone of the SMS gave John a bit of concern. First, Adenike doesn’t send sms, she either calls or pings. She prefers calling. Then wanting to talk about something? What could this be? He wondered while dialing Adenike’s number almost immediately. He asked her to come over to his place. She got to his house at about 8pm but there was something very unusual about her look. “No handbag!” Just a purse. John had never seen her without a handbag especially standing at his door at 8pm on a Friday night. Baby, where’s your travelling bag? He asked. Trying to make a joke out of the scenario but Adenike just gave a shabby smile and he knew something must be wrong. “Not again! Not again! This was the exact way Betty broke up with me, first it was an SMS of wanting to talk, and also it happened on a Friday night. What have I done wrong this time again?. Why do they choose Fridays? Can’t they just break up with me on a Saturday? Am I cursed? Which kain life be this? I’m finished. I truly have a problem and my mum must hear about this problem.” John was extremely worried but tried hard not to let it show. He moved closer to Adenike, held her hands and asked what was wrong? Do you need money for something? Is everyone fine at home? Are you pregnant? …..John kept asking series of question hoping his nightmare doesn’t happen again. No! Not again. Just as she sat half way into the cushion she started talking. “Baby I know how much you care about me, I hate myself for keeping this away from you for so long, I know you’d hate me forever for this, I know you’d not want to set your eyes on me anymore, I din’t mean to hurt you, I should have told you this from the day we had dinner, or maybe at the beach, but I was scared you would walk away. Now I have to face the truth….John I am sorry I lied to you. I really am sorry…but the truth is……… John already devastated “Where on earth did this curse come from, Mother’s side? Father’s? Choi! Pastor gave some prayer point against curse and I never took it serious. See my life! Which kain life be this?” He had both hands on his head, resting his elbow on his knee and waiting for the good bye gist. I have a daughter. Her name is Pamilerin, she’s five years old and her dad denied the pregnancy. I was in my 100 Level studying Business studies in Unilag when I got pregnant. I really hurt my parents then but they were supportive after everything. There wasn’t much I could do after he denied the baby than to face the shame and stigma and have my baby. I dropped out of school and then continued my education when Pamilerin clocked 1 but it had to be part time. My parents have been very supportive and I’m eternally grateful to them. As for the father of my child, I never heard from him since then. John was a bit relieved that Adenike wasn’t walking away after all and that he wasn’t under a curse, he gave Adenike a hug. Adenike was taken aback at his action and remained dumbfounded. John looked into her eyes and said “baby, we are in this together, I want to meet Pamilerin as soon as possible” Adenike could not believe what was happening, the tears of pain and the fear of rejection that filled her eyes were being replaced with tears of Joy. She held onto John this time around like she wasn’t ready to let go. After a while she realized it was late and that she needed to go home. She jumped up and was about to take her leave. John pulled her back, holding her waist and planted a seductive kiss on her lips. “Are you leaving your 2nd child lonely tonight?” She giggled and reminded him that she didn’t come with her traveling bag with a great emphasis on the travelling bag. John looked at the clock and said “Baby you know we could just drive out and get whatever you might need.” Kissing her neck and slowly finding his way under her shirt. Oh sweety!..That’s tempting but don’t let us start, I didn’t tell mum I won’t be coming home and your Elder sister too. They both laughed and John had no choice than to accept having a lonely Friday night at least it wasn’t the first. Elder sis wins! They laugh again. John dropped Adenike off, kissed good night and they both slept like a baby. John totally didn’t think of the fact that he partially accepted to be a father to another man’s child…….. www.elsieisy.com |
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Hello Elsie I’m actually facing a dilemma regarding my best friend he is a guy but I’ve never met him. We have been very close as in emotionally and he has been my only support in my worst phase of life, we talk constantly every day but I feel more than friends for him but I don’t know how he feels for me, is there a way to understand what he feels, I would really appreciate your help, but I want this mail to be anonymous as he can be a subscriber to your channel so I don’t want my name to be disclosed, waiting for your response, thank you. Source - http://www.elsieisy.com/how-do-i-know-what-he-feels-for-me/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you |
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2 John looks at the screen of his phone, smiles and picks up John: Hello Mama!…….. Mum: How are you my dear? John: I am fine mum, woke up not quite long. How are you mum? Mum: I am fine too. Have you prayed this morning? John: Yes mum, I have……*His eyes rolls at his own lies* Mum: That’s good dear, make sure you always pray. Bawo ni nkan? John: Mo wa pa mummy Mum: Bawo ni? John: Mumie, I am fine, just relaxing. Mum: Bawo ni? John: Mum, I will come spend next weekend with you, I know you miss your boy. Mum: Omo mi….Oro ti aso ni jo si nko? Oro iyawo! Mu iyawo wale fun mi!!!!….. Se owo ni osi ni? Abi o pe l’omokunrin ni?….. John: Mum please be patient….with time you will meet her. Let’s not rush about this… God’s time is the best you know. Mum: God! God! God! My son, abi are you impotent? Talk to me. I am your mother….. Se o lese ni? (Can’t you do?) John: *laughs hysterically* Mummy I will talk to you later…take good care of yourself, I love you…..Bye…. Mum: Ademi….. John: Bye mum. Mum: Okay ooo. To ju ara e. And don’t forget what we just talked about. God bless you John: Amen mami. Call ends……. *John still laughing, laughter fades, smile fades, serious straight face sets in……uhmmmm Adenike….. source - www.elsieisy.com |
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1 Its 6:00am on a Saturday morning… “Sleep decides to leave me this early i just wonder where it’s going to…*shrugs* How is today going to be sef? No work at the office today (thank God), No plans, No wedding, No babe to even call my own….. Do I have time for woman wahala? “ “HELL NO!” And those two words were the first to escape from John’s thought *He picks up his BB, launches Blackberry messenger, goes through his contacts (friends, foes and monitoring spirits) updates….opens a few display pictures(DP)….searches for Adenike and checks out her DP.* Adenike is a fairly dark complexion single lady, average height, with a body shape to die for, firm boobs and ass, works with a consulting firm and still a student of one of the tertiary institutions on a part time program. John met her a month ago, and they bonded nicely, exchanged numbers and hooked up for dinner. “Mehn! This babe is fine, see those eyes, lips…boobs…but pictures can lie sha o. Ahn! Ahn! She is more beautiful than this na. Picture truly lie……….” John gives a long hiss and throws phone on the bed big enough to accommodate two more people…. eyes fixed at the fan and feeling cool with himself. “But I think I need a steady woman in my life, I miss Betty”. His smile broadens. “Her morning looks, voice, smiles, the sound of her laughter, she is even more pretty without make up….I don’t understand why ladies love all this crayon ish…only for us to swallow colour water in the name of kissing….may we not have cancer o” “HIAN!” That happens to be the third word but an exclamation for the morning. “Betty would have bounced on me, our pillow fights, cut my nails, sex in the kitchen, great breakfast, go see a movie or go to the beach, long hand in hand walk in the evening, Betty really understood me and made me happy” Suddenly the smile fades away “But where did I go wrong? Despite all of these she still left me….it’s hard to admit but she left me for that guy…that guy o…what didn’t I do right? What words didn’t I say? Or did I not compliment her enough? Didn’t we go shopping enough? Abi money no reach? “ “Ah! I tried na….mehn No! No! No! Women are No No for me!” Just after John shouted those words that truly brought him back to reality, his phone rings…………guess who? |
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Enjoy this Story, I gurantee you wont be disappointed Click! Click!! Click!!! and READ A guy's dilemma 1 - http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-1/ A Guy's Dilemma 2 - http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilema-ii/ A Guy's Dilemma 3 - http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-iii/ A Guy's Dilemma 4 - http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-vi/ A Guy's Dilemma 5: http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-v/ A Guy's Dilemma 6: http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-vi/ A Guy's Dilemma 7: http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-vii/ A Guy's Dilemma 8: http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-viii/ A Guy's Dilemma 9: http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-ix/ A Guy's Dilemma 10: http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-x/ A Guy's Dilemma 11: http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-xi/ A Guy's Dilemma FINALE - http://www.elsieisy.com/a-guys-dilemma-xii/ Brought to you by Elsieisy's blog ENJOY!!! For the ones who would find it difficult to click the link, i will start posting the story here from tomorrow. |
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Hi friends - Join this convo by clicking this link - http://elsieisy.com/body-count/ Share your view with us
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Tallesty1: I, your father and your hubby are speechless.LOOOL |
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sameer1212: who inpregnated her? reply bfor i give u any advice. Her (mum's hubby) own husband ofcoz |
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Elsie please Kindly share this with your readers. My name is _____________ but I would love to remain anonymous. I am first of two children. I got married when i was 22 years old and my brother was 15. I got pregnant a month after my wedding, glory to God. The problem I have is that my mom is still young, she got married early and still fertile. She found out she was pregnant a month after i took in. I know my mom had always wanted another baby, so i was happy for her. But now i really don’t know how i feel about it all. We are 6/7 months gone. She comes to my house with the big stomach and when we walk on the streets i don’t know. I think i am very shy around her. The way i feel is it normal and what advice can you give? My husband has not said anything about this yet. He remains quiet. Dear readers, Please help advice her. Thank you. source - http://elsieisy.com/my-mother-and-i-are-pregnant/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thank you |
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Good morning Elsie. There is a girl in my office that I really love and I have asked out going to two years now and she has refused to date me. She currently does not talk to me now and I’m loosing focus. please help me how can I get her because I really love her because everything about me desire her. please I really need your advice. Thanks source -http://elsieisy.com/dear-elsians/help-i-am-in-love-with-a-girl-in-my-office/ NB: any reasonable comment or advice might be transferred to the blog for the recipient to see. Thanks you
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VI SESAN The chemist explain to us that he didn’t know what solution he could offer (fucking problem with all these quack roadside chemist, na problem dem go give u, no solution). “Make una quick find am one Ashewo to Bleep o, I no fit talk wetin go happen to him penis if he no Bleep”He offered as Bello and I turned and started making our way back home. And those stupid girls in the house had all gone for a wedding. One of their colleagues actually. When ashewos start to dey marry? I hissed as I started my second round of jogging. BODE I couldn’t say anything, I was just trying to figure in my head how long Boka and Ben had been gay lovers. It was Latifah who asked the obvious dumb question everyone had been expecting. “What’s going on here?”., Ladies and dumb questions sha. You see a guy giving a fellow guy a handjob, what do you think is going on? Weight-lifting with his dick ni? “You can’t understand, we get small problem ni” Boka answered with a straight face. Yeah, sure, they definitely had a problem. They were gay, the thought sef was really irritating to me. Ben groaned out from the bed, he sounded like someone in pain and not pleasure. Now what the Bleep was going on? “Ben, wetin do you?” My turn to ask a question. Was it dumb? I hoped not. “Guy I go use Viagra ni o and that stupid girl no go show”, he was sounding like a kid who just swallowed his meat before chewing. Which girl was he talking about? I didn’t know and wasn’t really interested. What had my interest was the viagra he had mentioned. “Jesus, viagra?! Why didn’t you wait till she even land sef”, Latifah uttered. Jesus like it was just a normal word in the dictionary. Just as Ben was about to groan and say something. Sesan and the tall house fellow they called Bello burst in, panting heavily. Sesan bent over and looked at everyone in the room, he smiled when he saw Latifah. “Guy, abeg the chemist give una the medicine for this thing”, Ben was now on the verge of crying. The funny thing is Boka’s hand was still on his dick. “Omo, we gast go find pussy make you Bleep o coz the guy say if u no Bleep, you fit crossover”, Sesan spat out. “You serious? He fit die?”, Boka sounded really shocked. “Wait, Boka wetin yoru hand dey do with Ben prick”, Bello asked. This time the question didn’t seem that dumb. “You dey mad! No be you talk say maybe another person hand go fit make am cum quick?”, Boka attacked. I looked from Boka to Bello and to Sesan who visibly was holding back his laughter. “I dey play ni. How guy go dey help guy massage him prick? I don dey suspect you o, You be gay ni. Abi when you even see Latifah for here, why una no ask am for help? My brain burst wide open at the mention of Latifah who was now the one laughing. LATIFAH I couldn’t help laughing but to be honest all these talk was getting me Hot. And Ben’s dick was really massive and attractive. Those veins around it just wanted to make me go down and suck him till he spilled in my mouth. But not with these guys around especially Bode. If I had known Ben had a dick like this, I would have accepted his proposal last year and bleeped him o. Damn, this was one good dick. What were these guys thinking? SESAN Hmm Latifah could be the solution o but Bode wey come dey here now don spoil job. Hmmmm, what to do now o? We had to get this guy one pussy and any pussy to Bleep. If he go die, I no fit write statement. Time to put down a plan. I was about saying something when Ben groaned out loud and said. “Latifah, abeg make I Bleep you na. I go buy you blackberry. I go even dey pay subscription every month”, this guy was really loco o. “Are you mad ni? What kind of talk is that?”, Bode’s eyes were flashing red. Bello was now the one filling the room with his laughter. “Guy, which one be your own na? She be your girlfriend ni? Make he Bleep her na, make he release abi you wan make he die ni”, Boka attacked Bode who could offer no defense but still had his anger pasted all around his face. “Latifah, abeg na. Na only the head go enter. No be all my dick. See sef, I dey always quick release. Two to five minutes I go don release”, Ben begged again. Surprisingly Latifah didn’t say anything, her facial expression was blank. Abi she dey reason am ni. No, shit was going to happen. I had to step in. “Guy, get sense. Make we dey go islander” (Islander is a hotel in Mushin that always had lots of available prostitutes). “Haa, I go die before we reach there”, tears were now trickling down Ben’s face. “Guy, no worry, you no go die. Bello go find cab for outside. Make you wear clothe make we dey go sharply”. Bello went out without another word and Boka finally took his hand off Ben’s dick. He got a sachet of pure water and went out to wash his hand. “Bro, I am going to the room”, Bode told me as he turned and stepped out. Latifah followed him but as she got to the door she turned and said to Ben. “Ben, sorry but you would be fine”, She said with a smile. This girl sha, I have to warn Bode later. “Thank you” was Ben’s reply as he turned to me to help with his clothes. Oh lord! Getting a short over his erection was wahala o. Boka came in and didn’t even bother helping, he just stood in a corner watching us. Bello bumped back in. “I don get taxi o, he say two thousand, he don dey wait”, He said. Two thousand ke for a trip of usually seven hundred naira. Sharp guy Bello was trying to make his own gain out of the situation, I should do the same. “Ben, how much dey your hand?” “I get about seven five (7,500) for wallet but if we need money. My ATM card dey. make we dey go abeg”, he was limping towards the door. I followed up and helped him. Outside the gate was a downbeat typical Lagos cab. Even the yellow and black paint seems to have washed off. But this trip wasn’t about the means of transport, it was about what would end it. BOKA Chei, make I follow these guys them? But I still dey owe Cynthia two thousand five for the short time wey I go do last o. She fit go dey around and see me. And the stupid girl no get joy, she go embarrass me ni. Abi make I no go ni but this weather be like say e go sweet to Bleep o. If to say Bode no dey house now, I for just go back house go scope Latifah make I Bleep small. SESAN Finally, we on our way to Islander. Boka had hesitated before getting in the backseat with Bello and Ben..lol, crazy boy was probably scared of Ben asking him to rub his dick again. “Yeeeeh!!!” I turned back to look at what was wrong. Ben was obviously in pain because his eyes were closed and he was frowning. “Benji no worry, you go make am. Na two things sure pass for this life. You go die and you go reach house” “Yeeeeeehh!!! Sesan I go die?!”, Ben yelled. “Ki lo shey (what’s wrong with him)”the Cab driver asked in concern. “Baba, ara e o ya ni(he’s ill)”, then I turned to Ben”Guy calm down, I no talk say you go die. I dey try say everybody go die na certainity but not today.” I turned back and face the road. It was all quiet and gloomy as we drove to our destination. Ben’s occasional groaning reminded us why we were stuck in here. Finally arrived at Islander Hotel. I told the cab driver to park about four houses off. Then I got down and called on Boka to follow me. “Why b say na me you call? When you wan go chemist, no be Bello you call?” He grumbled. “Cool down jor, no be you dey Bleep ashewo pass. Na you go sabi negotiate with them na”, this seemed to calm him down as we walked towards Islander. “Guy come first”, he pulled me back as we got to the gate, standing a few feet away was a group of ready to Bleep six girls. “Wetin?” I asked. “Make we go price one of those ones wey stand for there na” “Why? Dem no go get room for here jare. You go pay money to Bleep then pay for room sef. Make we go inside bar go meet regulars” “No you no understand, those ones for inside don chop belleful, dem go wan over-charge us as soon as dem see Ben dick. But these ones go wan Bleep anything” Hmmm he was making sense though. Stupid guy could Bleep a prostitute all day of the week. Apparently where he was burning all the little change he was getting from his yahoo runs. BOKA Thank God say dis girls dem dey outside. We fit go enter bar now go jam Cynthia. The format wey I give Sesan work sef coz he agree. SESAN As we approached the girls, I grew uncomfortable. Never been a fan of paid sex and its hawkers. Even the ones in the house, it had taken me quite a while to get accustomed to them and they had their usefulness occasionally. I pushed Boka forward. “Boka!!” One of the girls shouted as they looked up at us. I told you this dude’s popular with them. Here was the shocker, the lady in question step forward and planted a slap that could be heard in the vatican on Boka’s face. “Where my money?!” She gripped him by the collar of his shirt. Boka’s eyes were still closed as he was still recovering from the slap. “Cynthia, why you come do like this na?” He said without opening his eyes. “Cynthia ke, where you see Cynthia? You want make I dash you another slap abi? Beta open your eyes pay me my money”, this was going nuclear, I took a step backwards. BOKA No b say I no wan open my eyes, I wan open am but e be like say dem use glue hold am down small. I sha force am open, wait make the moon comot make sun come back. As I go look properly, na so I see Anita face o! Jesus! This witch don come back, I bin think say dem say she don relocate go back village permanently. How much I owe am sef? Haa which kain wahala come be this. “Anita ,when you come back”, I no remember anything wey I talk again, Na another slap answer me. I no remember if I faint. That second slap was like one of Muri thunder’s shots. Boka was falling down but was held firmly by the hand on his collar. I started calculating my options here. “Sister, abeg take am easy, wetin he do. abeg no kill am”, I said without stepping forward. “Leave me, make I kill am. Na me go even carry him dead body go station go report myself. This stupid boy con sit down ontop my toto for one week dey tell me say one maga dey send money, money go come. Till I travel he no give me shingbain! To Bleep na for free? Abi he resemble him mama own”, She was shouting with her fellow prostitutes hailing her. “Boka na true?” I started to play good cop. Boka couldn’t answer or rather didn’t want to answer incase of another slap. “Sister abeg, you fit deal with am later. Na business me I come here for. You fit beat am enter next year if u like. But now I need correct babe” As I said this, all the other ladies stopped hailing Anita and started walking towards me. “Bros, look me, I fit Bleep and suck you well o” “Bros, you for talk since na.” “Bros I go take care of you” Anita looked up at me, her eyes still glaring red. Her hand was still firmly holding Boka in place. I decided to play a card. “No, na Anita I come for. Boka don talk well of you. He no even know say you don come back, we for call your phone instead say we dey come here”, Bleep, does Boka even have her number? But all I said apparently sank in well because her anger evaporated and she was smiling now. “No mind the foolish boy, he no think well. Na only when he wan Bleep toto, he dey think. Oya make we talk, wetin you say you need?” She let go of Boka’s shirt and the really foolish boy truly just sat flat on the floor. I was confident now and pulled Anita to one side and explained the whole situation to her. At first she was adamant that she couldn’t Bleep a customer who had used Viagra but when I mentioned we would pay anything she asked for, she calmed down and charged ten thousand naira. I added a clause that she would forget about Boka’s debt (at least he could gain from today’s business), she disagreed then I renegotiated a twelve thousand naira deal that would get Boka off the hook she agreed. Boka had regained himself now and we went to get Ben from the cab. The driver charged us extra five hundred for time wasted. That is according to Bello who was the negotiator. Benji pulled out three thousand naira and gave it to Bello as Boka and I helped him to the hotel to get a room. He passed me his ATM card and gave me his password (Agro don make the idiot trust me, lmao). He asked me to withdraw ten thousand naira and gave me the four thousand five hundred naira in his wallet hoping it would cover all. Well a room was just one thousand five hundred naira for shortime. I agreed and left as Anita locked up the door behind me and faced her special customer. I went down to the bar with Bello and Boka and ordered three big stouts. “Sesan, abeg make we go sit down for back”, Boka said as our drinks arrived. Islander had a back room in the corner. “For wetin, heat dey always dey that side. Make we sit down here jare”, Bello replied. Just as I was opening my drink, I heard a lady shout “Boka!!!” I looked at Bello and said “Padi, make we dey go back” BOKA Cynthia!!! Written by BASS @OlumiCFC Source: www.elsieisy.com |
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V BODE It was hard telling Sesan about my stolen phone but I managed to do so. After all was said and done. He just smiled and said “we go work something out”, patted me on the back and proceeded to get a black polythene bag from Latifah and left us. SESAN McDowell’s gotten, I strolled back to the ladies’ room thinking about Bode. Well he was still new to Lagos. His stolen phone wasn’t the issue but his approach on Latifah. Didn’t know how I was going to tell him the girl was a loose cannon and could Bleep any dick in sight. I heaved and sighed and I stepped back into Aso rock. Spent the rest of the night eating and drinking with Yemisi and company. Stole occasional glances at the new girl but she never for one second paid me any attention. No worry, we get where we go catch you. My sleep that night was blissful, with the morning came another headache. Bode needed a place he could take Latifah out for a date. I scratched my head thinking, taking her to ICM, ikeja would blow her mind. The girl never jah like that but mehn Bode pocket go suffer. Thought of E-center, naa, not now when every Tom, dick and Harry went there. Galleria was out of the question. So I told him the only good option left. Leisure mall, surulere, coded place, cheap too. And if you no wan watch movie sef, shoprite is the next building. He thanked me and left, this boy na still JJC o. what was my plan for the day? (The events below took place two hours later) …………… “You sure say e go work?”, Boka asked again. “Guy, I don tell you, e sure die. The guy say make I just use am with tramadol”, Ben answered his question for the third time in a row. I adjusted myself on the bed where I lay silently listening to the ongoing conversation. Bello just stood by the door, arms folded across his chest as we all started pondering what was before us. “When she go land?”, I asked what I thought was the most vital question at the moment. “In about thirty to forty minutes sha”, Ben replied as he wiped his sweaty brows. It was understandable. Today was the D-day, asin ehn, D day! Bisi had finally agreed to come Bleep him (well according to the bbm chats he had showed us) and in a move to totally finish her on bed, he had visited the chemist on the next street who was our pal. And had returned with two blue pills he had called Viagra. It came with a guarantee that he would last over two hours. We were all silent once more as each person was lost in his thoughts. “Sesan, how va, shebi you still get tramadol?” Ben was now taking charge of his fate. He knew the answer, I had come back from an ill-fated job I had taken at a charcoal farm in Ilorin last year with packs of tramadol. And all I knew was that they were used by the farmers as some sort of energizer. Why I had packed them, I don’t know but I had shown the guys. I never knew they also acted as Viagra. “Yea, e dey my room. How many he talk say make you use with the pills?” “Errrm he say four” “Four ke?! Wahala dey o”, I exclaimed.as I stood up and dusted myself. “Come collect am o, I wan go sleep” were the next words as I made my way out. “You no go stay watch match ni”, Bello was saying with a grin as he made way for me at the door. “I no dey interested unless Benji go gree say I go enter set”, I didn’t wait to hear the curses that followed me as I made my way to my room which was two doors away. Pushed my door which was slightly ajar and got my kicks off. Opened my wardrobe where I kept the stack of tramadol. Took a pack out and threw it on the nearby table and I fell on bed. Mehn, it has been a while I got laid o, picked up my phone and browsing through my contacts idly when Ben poked his head in. “Guy you come lie down ni? Where the tramadol?”, He asked. My hands replied for me pointing to the table. “Thanks man”, he said as he grabbed the tramadol and made his way out. I continued flipping through my phone till the inevitable happened. I dozed off. Don’t know how long I was out but loud bangs on my table woke me up instantly. My blurred vision made out Bello’s slim tall physique. “Guy wetin happen na? Which kain parole be this”, I blurted out angrily. I very much hated being woken up abruptly, moften gave me migraines. “Bobo, dey come quick”, he didn’t even waited for my reply as he was rushing back out. My anger evaporated as I began pondering what could be going on. I had forgotten all about Viagra, tramadol, Bisi, ben and all. I got a pair of slippers on and buzzed out too. Sounds were coming from Ben’s room, seemed to be the place where whatever was happening was. I stepped in and the sight before me was shocking and crazy. Ben was lying down in the middle of the bed stark naked with his dick hanging in the air like a huge mushroom with lots of veins on show. “Osanubua of the seven seas” I whistled out. “Omo, Bisi no show oo”, Boka offered before I could even asked what was going on. “And he don go use the pills and the tramadol down” Ben groaned out loudly as if to remind us he was here o. I started breathing fast. Ok calm down. “Wetin Bisi say happen?” Logical question. “She say her mumsi call her say one tin one tin”. Ok, don’t panic. Ben groaned out again as if to tell me “Panic oo!!!” I rubbed my chin as I noticed I was sweating. “That girl no go die well o”, Ben cursed out from his pain. The issue at hand didn’t give me enough time to laugh. “Benji, how va? Shey you no go self-service like this? Stroke yourself well”, Bello’s advice. “Be like say you dey craze, you think say I never try am before I shout for help ni” “Ehen abi make another person do am for you. You know say hands different”, I raised one eyebrow at Bello to see where the idiot was heading to. Definitely he isn’t suggesting what I think he is suggesting because if he is suggesting what I think he is, I would slap his soul into next year. “Wetin you dey talk?” Boka asked the obvious question we all wanted to ask. “Ehen say make Boka help you dey massage your dick make me and Mayowa sharply run go that chemist place to ask for solution”, Bello answered with a straight face. “Shey o ya weyreh” “Bello dem dey do you from your village ni?” “Bello, you no go die better o”, Ben’s usual curse ended the assault on Bello. But bello did make a good point though which I acted upon. “Bello, make we dey go the chemist place. Boka chill with Ben, we dey come”, I turned round and pulled Bello by his arm. “Make I wait with am dey do wetin, shey I resemble nurse ni abi”, Boka’s voice trailed off in the distance as we got out of the house. “Guy, make we jog, if that guy die, I no fit write statement o”, I said as I took off running rather than jogging. A few minutes and I was bending over panting as I arrived at the chemist. Bello arrived about two minutes behind. “Egbon, we get problem oo”, I blurted out as I caught my breathe. BODE I smiled as Latifah walked boldly with me past her house and into our compound. The date had turned out well, I had taken Sesan’s advice. I picked Leisure mall in Surulere as our date venue. Sesan had said it was the cheapest hangout spot/cinema in Lagos. Cheapest my ass, I had left the house with 7k, borrowed and own funds and had luckily gotten home with four hundred and fifty naira. The movies has cost five hundred naira per ticket. Cheap enough but the snacks, cab fare had swallowed up the rest. Well at least she was following me to the room, something must definitely happen. My only prayer was that those guys shouldn’t be up in there gambling. Walked round the main house with Latifah holding onto my arm. I started staring at the room entrance. No footwear whatsoever. Thank God o. We stepped on the corridor and were walking past a guy called Ben’s room when we started hearing. “Abeg rub am well, put small oil. Oya rub am faster” “Guy, easy o, I no be woman oo abi make I leave am make you come dey rub your prick yourself” What the Bleep was going on? Latifah and I stopped and stared at ourselves. As if reading my mind, she stepped forward and opened the door. And there right in front of us was Ben lying stark naked and Boka sitting by his side holding onto a rod that was later to be Ben’s dick. What the Bleep was going on?! Written by BASS @OlumiCFC source: www.elsieisy.com |
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SESAN… Two thousand naira gone in just four games?! Dem jazz me ni?! Been asking myself that question for the past 24hours ever since I lost that amount to Leventis playing soccer last night. Well e dey happen sha occurred to me but this one happened to me! I was supposed to be the Onile (house owner)..I wasn’t meant to be losing such amount of money and not at this time wey pocket dry. I shook my head and went inside to get a torch, it was getting dark and as usual, useless NEPA never bring light. Least of my worries, right now I was hungry and since Bode wasn’t back from wherever he went to and boys weren’t around, there is only one room in this compound that could provide my stomach some relief. I got the torch, stepped out and locked my door. Turned around and started making my way to the other side of the compound. I need money, cash, ego seriously..exams go start soon and I no get any plan to stress my brain at all this time around. I got to the room we had nicknamed ‘Aso Rock’, all occupants of this particular room were prostitutes, oskambos, ashy..whatever you decide say you wan call them sha. High class, low class oo, you go find them here. It was actually a set of two rooms but the dividing wall had been taken down and now you had the biggest room in the compound. Only baba God know how many girls reside here sha because even baba landlord didn’t know how many. How could he when he no dey collect rent? If one of them don go bed am, him brain don throway. Well apparently the same thing his daughter was doing with Uti. Like father like daughter. I didn’t knock, I opened the door and stepped in praying I would catch one of the girls nude or half-dressed. That was always my prayer anytime I came to the part of the house and it was usually answered. “Sesan, wetin you find come here? Abi your room don long reach here ni?”One of the girls Yemisi by name was the first to fire. I took in the scene before me. There were just three of them around, Yemisi, Jane and a girl I had never seen before. New intake I guess. While Yemisi and Jane were seated at one corner of the room, she was laying stomach down on one of the numerous beds. Damn her ass was something oo, this one na better intake, the rechargeable lamp in the middle of the room provided enough illumination for me to view the mountain she called an ass. “Shey I no fit con greet una again ni? Una be my wives na abi una don get another husband for compound ni?” Jane laughed and I could imagine her brown teeth glittering in the dark, wonder the kind of men that allowed her to give them head. She must have been the end product of a bad close-up advert. “See you ehn, na anytime you need something you dey always waka come this room, oya wetin you dey find this time?”, forget her bad dentition, she was the smartest of the lot. “Who tell you say I need something? I just come play with una ni na”my stomach growled at my lie, why couldn’t I just go straight to the point?! Being broke na bad thing o. “Sesan,talk true, wetin you want?” “Yemisi, make una behave jare, I just come play with una before compound full again abi una sef dey comot, night don reach o” I asked in good faith. “No jare, I wan rest, sit down house, chop and get better sleep” The moment I heard ‘Chop’, my brain went into overdrive. It was either the food was ready or it was just about to be made and considering the fact that I could not smell anything, it was definitely the latter. Time to be a good guest. “Good idea sha, wait, una get any drink for house?” I knew the answer even before Jane replied in the negative. I told them I’d go get a drink at Iya Nuru. I knew for sure I was going to be included in the dinner plans. I was silently praying Latifah was around. I could always con a drink out of her, don’t know how or why but it was easy for Iya Nuru’s children to steal a dozen Mcdowells than steal a grain of rice. Probably because Iya Nuru herself was an alcoholic and would probably think she had drank it herself..well all that one na her business. I stepped out of compound enroute the next house in slow steps trying to calculate what I would do if it was Iya Nuru who came to attend to me. I looked up to see if the gate was open and there at the gate was Bode and Latifah. she was giggling like a 9years old kid and he was also grinning like a toddler. Chei this boy don dey set this girl P. olorun oo, make he sha no block my black market runs. For now it was even better he had Latifah outside for me. “Ha, bro how far na?”, Bode greeted me, his usual folder underneath his arm. ”I dey jare, house just dull, I say make I stretch leg small” How was I going to do this now oo? Didn’t want anyone finding out about my usual runs with Latifah. “Broda Sesan, goodevening” the girl pipped in, which one be all this “broda broda” she dey always call me. “How are you jare? Ehen come sef, Bode abeg give me one minute” I said as I pulled Latifah to one side to quickly make my case. “But haa you still owe me about five thousand six hundred” was the next thing she said as I tabled my matter. “Don’t worry na, I have told you, once they sort us pocket money, I will sort you” “You have been saying this since last year o, ahan”, Last year ke, I scratched my head, I thought I only started giving her this format two weeks ago. BODE Wonder what Sesan wanted that he had to pull Latifah aside. I was seriously praying that he shouldn’t make a move on her. I had been coming home from another ghost interview when I had seen her standing in front of their gate. Funny, I had never seen any of Iya Nuru’s children outside before. Come to think of it, never seen any of her kids asides Latifah. Oh well..I looked up and noticed Latifah had gone in and Sesan was standing all alone. Was this the best time to tell him I had been robbed of my phone at Oshodi (the all famous oshodi)? Or should I just wait till we were inside the room? Would he start thinking that I was a dunce? I lost my phone and I was here about to make a move on a girl. His voice brought me back to reality. “Bode abeg, borrow me your phone, I wan flash Boka”.. Written by BASS @OlumiCFC Source - www.elsieisy.com 1 Like |
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Here I am, sitting all alone and thanking God for all he has done This quest to find a boyfriend won’t put me in trouble. I have been single for close to two years now and its really getting boring. Most people were beginning to say things about how it could be spiritual and all, so I decided to do everything possible to get a boyfriend at least. I embarked on this journey by being super friendly online and even offline. After a short period I decided to restrict the super friendly mode to my online male followers (emphasis on twitter). I jumped on every guys’ tweet. I retweeted, replied, quote retweeted to get attention but nothing still happened – no man, boy or nigga entered my DM (direct message (inbox)). After about two months I started believing the spiritual problem thing. I got so worried and prayed more and more on this issue of having a boyfriend. Every other part of my life was almost on standstill and I got irritated at everything. My prayer points changed, my outlook changed, I started losing myself and even stayed away from twitter. Not until one evening, I got an alert indicating I have a mention from twitter. I wondered who it could be because I had no friend on twitter neither was I in any caucus. So I was very sure no one would notice my absence. I reluctantly clicked on the twitter icon on my screen expecting it to be a mention from one of these bloggers or a spam DM. Behold! It was a real message, from a guy. I am sure you can imagine the kind of joy I felt. My face brightened up. It read “hey babe! Been a while I saw your tweet. You good?”. Boy! I zoomed his avi (avatar) noticed that he had a very cute face and beards!!! I felt lucky!. I had this instant believe that God has finally answered my prayers. We got talking and he said he would like to meet me in person. I still kept on forming hard to get but couldn’t hold that up more than a week. Remember it took like forever to get a fish in my net, so aint gonna joke around this one. Meanwhile, he told me some things about him. He said he was a graduate and that he works with MTN. He lives alone. He also said he had a bad relationship and have been single for a year except for few flings and the likes. He told me how he picked interest in my tweet. How I would interact with everyone regardless of gender or size of follower. He told me he admired me a lot and have been crushing for a while now. He also said that bearing my absence on twitter for that short while was just him trying to hold back his emotions. He said the sweetest things and made me very happy. He never asked for my nude which I expected from the kind of gist you get to hear from guys you meet online. I was looking forward to seeing Tolani. Then finally we fixed a date for a Saturday to see a movie at Ozone and get to talk better after the movie. I tried to look as beautiful and as simple as possible. I finally got to see this cutie of mine. He wore a dark blue jean, a red T-shirt and flip-flops. We hugged, exchanged pleasantries and moved into the cinema hall. I got there a bit late. I enjoyed his choice of movie, who wouldn’t? It was “We are the Millers”. I laughed all through the movie. After the movie, we went to the 2nd floor of the building and settled in at Chicken Republic. He asked what I wanted and went to get it for me. Perfect gentleman right? We talked, laughed, held hands and all. It was soon time for us to leave. I expected this guy to walk towards the car park to get his car or something but we stood at the entrance still holding my hands. He then asked, “How are you going babe?” His question brought me back from my thoughts and I replied “I will just get a cab, thanks to Fashola, no byke for me. I so miss bikes” . “A Pretty princess shouldn’t be hopping bikes dear, thanks to Fashola”, he said as he planted a kiss on my chin. I blushed. I stopped a cab and was doing the negotiation while I noticed him go for his wallet. I was supper happy. Meeting a handsome gentleman isn’t easy these days. Just as the cab was about moving, he handed my cab fare to me, saying I should pay the cab guy myself to avoid funny attitudes. I smiled and we said our goodbyes. As the cab moved, a strange thought came to mind and I told the cab man to pull over in front. I told him to wait so I could watch my new found boo leave. Just then I saw a guy step towards him from the building, they did the men shake and I noticed he hailed him somehow. My curiosity increased, as I watched them head back into the building. I quickly gave the cab man the money he gave me and followed them up. It was easier for me because they didn’t use the lift. They kept chatting, laughing and took left. I followed carefully and got a bit confident when I realized they were engrossed in the gist and laughter that they wouldn’t look back. I followed my new found boo back up to chicken republic and watched him go into the concession stand. I stood with some guys hanging around with a forceful smile and there and then, I saw my MTN working class boo step out again but now changed to his service wear. He’s actually an attendant at chicken republic. I was so surprised and felt the tears roll down my eyes. I didn’t say a word and was glad he didn’t see me. I kept wondering why he would tell such lie about him. What other thing was a lie and the plenty gist and laughter with his friend(I suppose) was over my foolishness I guess? I was so confused and hurt that I remembered my ordeal in my last relationship. I blocked him, deleted his number and never picked any of his calls till he stopped calling. I don’t know what his conclusion would be about me but I careless. He should have been sincere. Well, it’s in the past though, Here I am, sitting all alone and thanking God for all the way long. Thought to share the story with you all, I am happy in my relationship now and might tell you all how I met him….. That’s if he (my boyfriend) agrees to that. I remain anonymous. source : http://elsieisy.com/stories/how-i-discovered-this-catfish/ Kindly visit www.elsieisy.com |
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fijiano202: Guy dont love too deep and stop making her ur no.1 priority...make sure bringing back the chibok girls is more important on ur mind than the thought of her with her cousin cos with the looks of things u may end up having hypertension for a girl who doesnt care LMAOOOOO, what has the matter on ground got to do with chibok girls. very funny |
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