1. You Never Accept When You Are Wrong

Some people believe they can NEVER be wrong even what they are, they will never accept and it doesn’t matter who is going to be hurt by their belief of always being right. You are not perfect just as your partner is not.

2. It Takes You More Than A Day To Apologize

Those three words “I am sorry” will make a huge difference in your relationship when needed. Once you are wrong don’t wait to give excuses or explanation or why you think you are a ‘little right’. When you put forth an apology first you calm the nerves of your partner and calms down the intensity of the offence.

3. It’s Difficult For You To Accept Apologies

An apology is more than just saying sorry, it is more of asking for forgiveness. You could say sorry and walk away hoping that your partner is appeased, but that is not the case here, you are actually supposed to KNOW and be assured that you are forgiven of your faults. It takes a lot to genuinely apologize and when your partner does especially for something done unknowingly you should accept and reassure him or her that they are forgiven. The truth is, the table could be turned and you would be the one in need of forgiveness.

4. You Have The Habit Of Referring To Past Mistakes And Offences

Once a misunderstanding is amicably settled and done with, don’t refer to it no matter how upset you are. It shows that you really didn’t forgive the first time. The best way to see this is if you put yourself in your partner’s shoes and your partner keeps referring to your wrongs even after they say you are forgiven.

5. You Compare Your Partner To Someone You Believe Is A Better Standard

Everyone is unique in their own way and uniqueness in relationships should be appreciated. If you were in a relationship you think was great, but couldn’t progressed into a committed long term relationship as you wanted it would be unfair to bring that same expectations to your new relationship. These are two different people and should be treated as such. Comparing your partner to someone else you think is better can destroy trust and distract you from make valuable contributions that could strengthen the relationship.

6. You Are Hardly Satisfied With Sacrifices Made For You

It takes a lot to make sacrifices, this means that your partner has to give up certain things just to make you happy and have reasons to remain in the relationship. Making sacrifices are not fun, sometimes a partner is even inconvenienced just to ensure the satisfaction of the other. If you do not recognized and appreciate those little sacrifices being made for you, you may not last a long time in a good relationship

7. It’s Too Much To Go Out Of Your Way To Do Something For Your Partner

One sided relationship! You can’t be expecting your partner to make sacrifices for you when you won’t do same. You will lose a good potential spouse. Sacrifices in relationship is reciprocal, it is never too much to do anything for the one you claim to love and probably want to spend the rest of your life with.

8. You Think Your Partner’s World Should Revolve Around You

Are you that kind of person that believes that everything about your partner should be about you, his or her friends must be approved by you. Your partner can no longer make good decisions if you are not involved. If you give the impression that you are manipulative, your partner is going to feel caged and probably regret the relationship.

9. You Don’t Know How To Stop Nagging

Nagging is not just annoying, it is irritating and it is not just a woman’s problem as it is commonly believed. It is repeatedly talking about something you should keep quiet about. If you are in the habit of PESTERING your partner to say something when he or she says, “I don’t want to talk about it now”, you are going to make him or her not talk about it at all. Don’t nag about issues you have concluded about.

10. You Are ALWAYS Right

As humans we make mistakes because we are not perfect beings. No matter how good and cautious you are there would be times when you would be wrong; your ideas or your actions. Accepting that you are wrong when you are and making apology is a sign that you are mature to handle a long term relationship.

11. You Like To Win In The Argument

Healthy arguments are allowed in a relationship because it strengthens your bonds and helps you understand each other better. Nobody wins; instead each partner is allowed to speak their opinion while the other listens. If you always want to win the argument, you will bore your partner and give the impression that you are impossible.

12. Mood Swings And Silent Treatments Are Your Weapons

I call these deadly weapons because when one gives the silent treatment, you can never tell what is going on in their mind or why you are being punished with mood swings especially if you have apologized. If something bothers you, talk about it and deal with it instead of giving an attitude, you are going to push your partner away and make him or her avoid you whenever you are in that foul mood.

13. You Have Expectations That Your Partner Cannot Meet

Naturally, partners have demands and expectations to be met. Sometimes without being told, at other times it would be demanded for. It is only reasonable to make your expectations within and around what your partner can afford or give. Well, except there’s someone you think meets your expectation better. Exist, instead of putting someone through emotional torture.

14. You Are Judgmental And Vengeful

So the only way you know how to ‘help’ your partner become better is if you criticize him or her, and you called it “positive criticism”! well, how about if you try to find out how your partner receives your positive criticism. That is being judgmental and in most cases it is received as condemnatory. Or your partner does something to offend you and you pay back in same coin; offend him or her and maybe more.

14. You Don’t Think Your Relationship Needs As Much Prayers And Spiritual Investment As A Marriage

Marriage is not a destination; get this NOW before you make that commitment so you don’t think you are saving the prayers till you are married. Now that you are courting is a time to grow in your relationship with God and establish spiritual foundation for your marriage.

Shalom!

Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets - Amos 3:7
1. Thus saith the LORD GOD; the hearts of men shall be more frightened in 2014 for the horror in 2014 shall be great
2. I shall visit several homes and break curses in families in 2014
3. There shall be school shooting in the United State of America which shall take lives in 2014
4. There shall be scandals in Roman Catholic Church, Celestial Church of Christ, Creflo Dollar Ministries, Deeper Life Bible Church, Synagogue Church of All Nations, COZA ministries, Living Faith Church Winners Chapel, Christ Mercy Land Deliverance Ministry, Word of Life Bible Church, Cherubim and Seraphim Movement Church, Christ Embassy, Presbyterian Church, House Hold of God Church, Benny Hinn Ministries, House on the Rock Church, The Lords Chosen Charismatic Revival Church, Omega Fire Ministries and Latter Rain Assembly in 2014. These churches shall try to conceal their scandals
5. There shall be scandal in White House in 2014
6. There shall be scandal in Catholic in 2014
7. Terrorist threats shall affect flights in 2014
8. There shall be plane crash in Nigeria in 2014
9. An African President shall die in 2014
10. There shall be releases of new vehicles and new electronics in 2014
11. There shall be more threats from terrorist groups in 2014
12. There shall be new discovering of ancient artifacts in 2014
13. There shall be discovering of a new species of animal in Africa in 2014
14. Hardship in some part of Africa and Asia shall be increased in 2014
15. There shall be problem with the earth layer in 2014
16. There shall be a great change in the atmosphere in 2014
17. Some plants and animals shall be polluted in 2014
18. There shall be a new disease in 2014
19. There shall be attack in the United States of America in 2014
20. There shall be bloody riots in Egypt, Greece, Turkey and Madrid Spain in 2014
21. There shall be new release of LG, Apple, Black Berry, Samsung and Tecno new products in 2014
22. Several states in Nigeria shall be attacked by unknown gun men which shall take lives in 2014
23. Bangladesh, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, India and Pakistan shall be on fire in 2014
24. There shall be riots in Brazil stadium in 2014
25. There shall be secret war against Nigeria Government which will get violent in 2014. It is already at work right now
26. There shall be attack at military base in United State of America in 2014
27. People shall drown in Lagos Nigeria Beach in 2014
28. There shall be earthquake in China, Japan and America in 2014
29. There shall be terrorist attack in America, China, India, Nigeria, Iraq, Afghanistan and England in 2014
30. There shall be flood in Nigeria which shall destroy lives and properties in 2014
31. A hotel shall be on fire in the United State of America in 2014
32. There shall be cyber-attacks in the United State of America in 2014
33. Great storm shall hit United State of America, Japan and Australia in 2014
34. There shall be building collapse in Nigeria which shall destroy lives and properties in 2014
35. Objects from space shall hit United State of America and China in 2014. The Government of these countries shall try to conceal it
36. There shall be great disaster in Adriatic Sea in 2014
37. There shall be Influenza and Hepatitis outbreak in 2014
38. There shall be fire in Benin City Nigeria in 2014. The fire shall spread and the authority shall be blamed
39. Niagara Falls shall overflow and causing Niagara River floods in 2014
40. There shall be volcano eruption in Peru in 2014
41. Prophet Olaye George and his ministry shall move to Lagos, Nigeria in 2014
42. There shall be landslide in China and United State of America in 2014
43. HIV AIDS shall be on the increase in 2014
He that have ear let him hear what the LORD GOD have said

Akin was transferred to my department. Young, intelligent, fun to be with and the toast of most of the female staff; married and unmarried. I imagined that his wife must be privileged to be married to him. He made the job more interesting and I looked forward to be given an assignment with him. It kind of broke my heart later when I discovered that he was unfaithful to his wife. I didn’t understand why this made me feel bad, was I also falling for him?

“Does your wife know about Angela?” I said to him one day as we worked on his computer. Angela was his girlfriend and they didn’t even make it a secret even with the fact that she was also married with two children!

“Why do you ask?” he wasn’t expecting the question and so surprise quickly spread on his face. He looked defeated because I knew he also liked me. “…well she is just my girlfriend and my wife doesn’t have to know about her.”

“What if your wife finds out? Or even her husband…” I didn’t want to believe that this fine man and a supposed responsible father didn’t see anything wrong in sleeping with another man’s wife.

“See my dear, Angela and I are in search of one thing we can’t get from our spouses…FULL satisfaction.” I discovered that Angela was just one of his girlfriends.

As if Akin’s wife was prompted, she came to see Akin that day on her way from picking the children from school. Akin wasn’t informed he had a visitor since it was his wife neither did she bother to knock because she had never done so. What her eyes saw her husband doing to Angela was demonstrated in the way she beat Angela and the commotion she caused at the bank. It was a beating Angela would not forget in a hurry.

I imagined myself or any other woman in Akin’s wife’s position, what would another woman do?


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This is very helpful. Thanks. I am looking at registering an NGO in January

Permit me to share one of my fav mails from my box

My biggest new year dream is to get married in 2014, on or before July when I will be 36.
I am 6feet, light-skinned, size 10. Have a good job, rides a car and live in a 2bedroom alone.
I broke up with my boyfriend in January when I caught cheating with my best friend. I am now tempted to re contact him and ask if we can continue the relationship since he already proposed to me before we broke up.
Age is no longer on my side.
Happy new year


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For the first time in my few years of counseling, yesterday I met Grace, a single mother of two teens in secondary school. Jude is 15, and Tonia is 13. Jude has a ‘steady’ girlfriend as well as Tonia has a boyfriend. Of course sex is involved! Grace sees nothing wrong with this! Or am I being ‘Old School’


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This is really nice! Go girl!

I am in a dilemma and I wish I really know exactly what to do but I am also been careful not to be a loser from both sides. I’m a graduate and currently self employed. I have a business center but things have not been easy with me financially since I left school four years ago.
According to my plans, I thought that by now at 30 I would have been married with kids but I have not been able to afford certain basic things that would make a woman comfortable let alone marrying her.
My challenge started about two years ago when my girlfriend, Tina and I went to visit one of her elder sisters Maria on Christmas Eve. Before then, Tina and I have been dating for over two years and I have been promising to see her family members to formally introduce myself as her fiancé.
From the day we visited Maria, I sensed that she was not comfortable with our relationship, although that wasn’t my first time of seeing her but I had never been to her house. When we were alone in the sitting room, Tina was in the kitchen helping to cook some food; she sat very carelessly opposite me. Maria had no underwear on! When she saw that I became uncomfortable she smiled and told me to be a man. That was when I knew she was doing it deliberately. I couldn’t guess what she was up to so I just pretended I didn’t get her message. When we were about to leave, she encouraged us not to get married yet emphasizing how I couldn’t afford the expenses which was true. Tina took sides with me and said we would manage. We had agreed on a low key wedding ceremony.
Maria gave me a very embarrassing hug and kissed me, I thought Tina would have noticed. As we left, I didn’t know if to tell my girlfriend what just happened. I decided to forget about it.
The following day, which was Christmas Tina, came excitedly to tell me that her sister had a surprise Christmas gift for me. Maria wanted to loan me #150,000.00 to upgrade my business. I objected but Tina persuaded me giving me the options of many things we could do with the money. I suspected that Maria could be up to something. She is quite rich, about five years older than Tina and two years older than I but she is not married. I eventually collected the money and decided that I was going to do fish farming as it seems the business in vogue.
That Christmas evening after visiting a couple of friends I went alone to collect the money. Maria gave me an overwhelming welcome which showed that she was not only expecting me but excited to see me. After eating a sumptuous meal, she gave me #200,000.00 cash and told me it was a dash. I thanked her and told her that I would use the money wisely and would not disappoint her. Running late and for fear that I may not get a bus going back to my house that night I wanted to hurry away but she asked me to help to fix a wall hanger in her bedroom. Getting into the bedroom she was already naked. She begged me to make love to her. She told me how long she had wanted us to have an affair. When I asked her about her sister she told me we won’t make it known to her. She promised that she would give me more money if I would have an affair with her, make her pregnant but marry her sister. I told her I could get a friend for her if she really needed a man to be having sex with her. She insisted it must be me. When I could not continue with the fight I gave in and we made love till morning.

The next day I felt so guilty that I refused to go see Tina and was glad that Maria never told her. Maria eventually got pregnant and didn’t disclose the paternity of the child. Tina and I had done our traditional rites and moved into my home.
I am currently torn between two sisters. Maria still makes me have sex with her. She has threatened that if I refused she would tell Tina what has been happening between us and I can’t stand losing Tina. What puts my heart at rest is that she has moved to Sango an area quiet far from where we live so it’s not easy for Tina to know. Although she knows that her sister and I are close but she doesn’t know that I am the father of her child. I really wish I knew what to do. A friend suggested that I relocate with Tina to somewhere we would be far from her family members. I need someone to talk to me.

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When a child is caught stealing, a parent's reaction should depend on whether it's the first time or there's a pattern of stealing.
With very young children, parents need to help them understand that stealing is wrong - that when you take something without asking or paying for it, it hurts someone else. If a child takes a piece of chocolate from someone, for instance, parents can help the child return it. If the child has already eaten it, parents can take the child back to the person to apologize and/or pay for it.
With school-age children, too, it's important to return the stolen item. By the first and second year in school, children should know stealing is wrong. But they may need a better understanding of the consequences.
Here's an example: If a child comes home with a friend's item and it's clear the child took it without the friend's permission, the parent should talk to the child about how it would feel if a friend took something without asking first. The parent should encourage the child to apologise to the friend and return it.
When teens steal, it's recommended that parents follow through with stricter consequences. For example, when a teen is caught stealing, the parent can take the child back to the store or wherever he/she stole from to meet those in charge to explain and apologize for what happened.
The child's embarrassment at facing up to what he or she did by having to return a stolen item makes for an everlasting lesson on why stealing is wrong. Further punishment, particularly physical punishment, of the child is unnecessary and may make the child angry and more likely to engage in even worse behavior. Children of all ages need to know that stealing isn't just about taking things from a store - it's taking money from the people who run businesses.. They should also know that stealing is a crime and can lead to consequences far worse than being grounded or getting caned.
If a child steals money from a parent, the child should be offered options for paying back the money, or doing extra chores around the house. It's important, however, that a parent doesn't bait the child by leaving out money, in the hopes of catching the child in the act. That could damage the sense of trust between a parent and child.

She's a natural beauty!

I love Kumuyi. I also love Christmas!

I think people should spend more time building their own lives rather than worrying about the choices of others.
Kids from abusive unhappily married homes end up more traumatised than those from divorced homes.
Most of the failures we see today is because of the see no say no and hear no evil marriages in the past. Kids who were raised that certain actions were "acceptable" and "manly", and those who were raised to look to bad standards as lifes standards.
You never know what someone faces so leave them to their choices, if it goes well they live with the benefits if it goes bad they leave with it.
I have heard and read here to men who say if their mothers tolerated abuse their wives are weaklings not to stay and take it.

Like I said, that someone divorces doesn't mean they should sulk crawl in a hole and die.
People react differently.

A good marriage is still a blessing and no one can take it from anyone who has a good successful one.
If anyone makes you feel insecure about nuturing a good marriage then you need to check yourself.

Unlike what people were told before they have come to learn divorce is not the end of life, you can still live, grow, move on and find partners hopefully you learn positive lessons and apply.

If you have a great marriage, congrats, if others choose to live an abusive marriage and survive let them be, so many in their situation ended up dead.

Will its stop our oxygen when people who are unhappy leave a bad marriage?
Why is society obsessed with forcing people stay in unplesant situations just so they can "fit in"?

Very on point! Divorce is a horrible experience. Being through it with a friend and it was like 'mourning' a loved one. These actors/actresses are pained too and saying it publicly is a way of how they know to deal with it.
Just as there are some friendships you can't force, there are some partners who won't do anything, make a commitment or sacrifice to make a marriage work! I wish their children well!

"All I need is for an NGO to take up my case as a woman with abnormal conditions and also to act in the movie industry."
Sister! How can you write off yourself because of HAIR! Or is your genital also male? There are people in far worst condition. You should consult a doctor FIRST before letting the idea of an NGO settles in your mind.
If however, you have defeated yourself inyour mind, then you need to go for counseling first!

Too much confidence for the Gunners! They ended gunned down!

When Sarah met Jude in her second year in the university, he was her dream come true as he was the kind of man she had always wished for. Their relationship blossomed and was the talk of the school. Being a year ahead of her, he graduated before her with a promise that he would marry her. She didn’t even need to think or discuss it with anyone before she agreed to his proposal.

Sarah had met Jude’s parents and siblings and they seem not to have any problem with her. Jude’s sisters and Sarah were like best friends. She was free to visit his house and she sometimes spends the weekend with his family. Sarah’s parents had no trouble with their daughter marrying Jude except that they insisted that Sarah must finish her Youth Corp before marriage. Everyone was at peace when they agreed that she would have to finish NYSC first. That was also to allow Jude sometime to prepare for the wedding and the new home. Although, his parents had promised that they would give him one of their houses in Abuja as a wedding gift. Having lived in Lagos for a long time, he didn’t like the idea of going to Abuja but Sarah convinced him that it would just be for a start. They could always relocate back to Lagos once they start making their own money. It was a good suggestion for Jude and so he took it.

When Jude was getting ready to leave for service it was very difficult for Sarah. She had never had to live without seeing Jude for the stretch of two weeks.

Sarah cried that night like she had never did. Her attitude moved Jude to tears too. He promised her that distance would mean nothing to their relationship. He also suggested that as soon as the orientation was over he would come home. That night he gave her a ring as a symbol that he would truly marry her once the time is right. They spent the night talking and consoling each other. Jude tried to explain to her that there would really be a time in a man’s life when he would have to stay away from his wife at least for some time.

Jude was sure that he would keep to his promise. To seal that promise he suggested that they take a blood oath. It wasn’t a bad idea for Sarah who had made up her mind to spend the rest of her life with Jude. Well past mid-night both of them lay naked in his room, each of their thumbs bleeding from a new blade with which they used to make the cutting. As they lick each other’s blood they swore to themselves that they would never marry anyone else till death. They included that even if they try they would never find happiness with any other partner. They made love till morning as part of the oath. It was relief to both of them. They started addressing themselves as married.

He kept to his promise and came home immediately orientation was over. In camp, Jude was a company to be with even the NYSC officials liked him and they favored him. He was posted to town and given a good accommodation. He was well paid like a staff and they told him he could be employed if he wanted to stay. He knew Sarah wouldn’t buy the idea and so decided against it. His performance reached the organization’s head office in Lagos.

Just when he started working Sarah was posted to Oyo. Good, a place he would visit whenever he wanted to. As part of his training in his new job, he would attend a meeting in France. The management had decided that Jude would be a member of their board. He was not just intelligent, he was smart. He thought it was time to make good money and marry his sweetheart; Sarah. She was glad that he was going abroad and She perceived that he was going to be a great man. Her family wasn’t rich, so here is one who may eventually take her abroad.

He was to stay for four weeks but management encouraged him to stay 12 weeks to attend a course. He couldn’t tell Sarah but he promised that he would tell her when he arrives to make it seem like he never knew.

France was what Jude never imagined. Both at the meeting and the training he was treated as a king. He didn’t know that the management had sent him along with some non Nigerians to start a branch. It was a pleasant surprise. And the pay check per annum was what he knew he would never get in Nigeria for 10 years. He mailed Sarah and told her to be getting ready to relocate to France.

For Sarah, the surprise was not a good one. She didn’t want to live so far from her family. She had thought she would only have to visit abroad and not live there. While she was trying to convince Jude to drop the offer and come home, Jude was trying to convince her to relocate to France. This issue persisted for two years. Jude thought it was not reasonable to leave the job that has made him a millionaire in a short time.

In those two years, the relationship went sour. Jude gave up and they lost contact for a year. It became difficult for Sarah to get into another relationship. Jude’s parent didn’t even make better the issue at all. They just told Sarah to forget about him and carry on. They infact discouraged her and she suspected that it was because Jude was doing so well abroad. Efforts to get his new contact from his sisters were futile.

Sarah received the shock of her life when just the last Christmas Jude came back to Nigeria after three years with a pregnant French lady. They got engaged on the 26th and went back to France on the 29th. He didn’t come to apologize and she never set her eyes on him.

It’s been 5yrs and still difficult for her and she feared that she would never be able to get married because of the blood oath they took. She also suspects that Jude’s marriage may not last if the blood oath is active. She is more in a dilemma than she bargained. Moving on with life has become difficult.

Is blood oath real?


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Knife for what?

Taiwo20: Get a knife

I am 19, 200Level and I have been dating a guy in my school for about a year. We are really in love and we hope to get married in five years time. We have been having sex at least twice a week since we started dating. Although we use contraceptives I am really scared of getting pregnant especially because my Mom is a pastor. I want to stop having sex, at least for now but each time I tell my boyfriend, he says I don’t love him. I don’t want to loose him.


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