I wonder at people who have condemned me for the actions of few, I smile at their naivety, I laugh when they think they are better, then I walk away when I find how hollow their thoughts are. They judge me yet they don’t know me, they condemn me, but they need me, they spite me yet forget what they made me become.

That, this bad thoughts you have attributed my name might be true, that maybe you have been right all along, that maybe, no good could ever come out from this black melanin skin of mine, this true mark of Africanism, this rare men of strength, this true black blood that flows through my veins, this aboard riddled with funny tales of poverty, this land of black men.

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yes sure but it was meant to remind everyone never to all color separate us

If only this picture is a reflection of the heaven I crave, then know that my heart will not rest until I have lain on this grass land. This beauty of a land, this imagination that breeds peace unending, this scene of green lands with green thoughts, this ocean of peace.

This heavenly paradise that my soul craves, this land of quite where troubles will no longer reach me, where its shores will be void all the turmoil and machinations of the world of men, this world of far away that awaits with a wide embrace, this aboard my father has promised me with, this promise of a heaven, I hope this be it.

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thats true, but we should understand never to allow colour divide us

Amidst a billion hearts my heart stands alone, amidst a trillion souls, my soul yet yearns for a soul to cling to.

I have been broken by the ones I once loved, My heart has been torn to shreds by those I once trusted, that I stand broken and afraid.
.
.
Alone to my world of pain, alone to my troubles and trials. My lonely nights had seen my ocean of tears drenching my pillow and wetting my face. When I remembered their mouth watering promises of love, and promises of forever after, honey combed lies that dipped into me and broke all my defenses to reach into my heart.


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The greatest gift a man could have is to have a mother that loves him unconditionally. A kind and loving mother who will always stand for him anytime any day.
Sometimes we get lost to so many things that we easily forget, the sacrifice, the love, the mother who will always love her child. Sometimes we quarrel, because you are always stubborn (lol), but at the end, I realise that the older you get, the more you understand the depth of that sacrifice and love, hence the need to pay her back in same measure.
I don’t like showing my family on social media, but this time I will brake all existing protocols, to tell the world, this story of sacrifice, this story of love, this story of a Nigerian mother for her child.
If you are not Nigerian you might never understand, what I mean by sacrifice. For through the darkest of times where everything is lost to darkness, her shadows can be seen, through the strongest walls, she creates a path, stranded in an ocean of water her shoulders will she freely give. How many times your prayers lead me aright? She breaths in strength and hope when everyone seems hopelessly lost.
When I hear people talk about gender equality, I think how narrow minded they are, because a woman has always been stronger than a man. Even when they look frail and weak, even when they cry easily when hurt, they will always be the boss behind the scenes, the mafia you might never know of.
The greatest mathematician I ever knew, the best teacher as far as I am concerned, the motivational speaker, the sweetest mother.
To those who don’t value her, it is a pity, to those who have lost her, it’s a pity but to those who still have her, treat her like a diamond she is.
Even when I have not given you that which you deserve, even when I feel so sad knowing that I can’t give you that which I want to give you, just know that I understand better now.


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At this moment, my heart bleeds, my soul aches, my journey is one with thorns. I allowed the sword of those whom I loved piece my throat, to my pains end. I have tried to stand in this world of men, but a slave is whom I became. Crawling and begging for everything I ever needed.



Through the journey of my life, through the story of my days, pain has riddled all, like a prisoner in chains, today I feel free, the next day, i feel the steel bounding chains that holds me from flight, from freedom.

Let the reddish blood flow across the ones I love, for it was this heart that I freely gave that they killed.


This world that promised happiness, that promised hope, that painted beautiful pictures but hid pain and hurt, promoted suffering, and embraced oppression.

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Sometimes I wonder what we will tell our children when things have turned this sour? Which hope will remain in our hearts to give? Which fire do we breathe into generations unborn? To mold and create a generation of importance. The seed of our loins, the name we left, the perfect reason for our creation. Which legacy have we planned to hand to those who will follow after we are gone?

We became more bestial than the animals of the wild, who devour each other with no remorse
A creature without a soul, a man who has no love lost or found for his kind.

Which imprints will your actions leave on earth?

What have we done?


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Through the narrow streets the brawl continued. Mike unleashed a powerful punch on his left jaw, as a tooth fell off.

In a daze, he fell down into a backyard, breaking through the wooden short fence, with kids’ stuff, all strewn all around, 5 colourful small chairs stood close to the makeshift pool, toys and clothes lay on the grass floor, but quickly Barry stood up and returned, with a kick to mikes groin, even though he felt drowsy as hell, yet his body responded fast but slower than when he was normal.

Both held the wounded parts in excruciating agony moaning and crying out in pain. Four men from the narrow road, with hooded sweater, moved closer, and raised mike up, moving him away. With the shorter guy with a blue hood, colourful sneakers and a tattoo of two dots circled in between, on his thumb. The insignia of the catabrino cartel.

Barry’s blood painted the grasses in red which was from the knife cuts on both sides of his hands, he did received earlier.

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YES i will keep hanging on to life.
thanks

This beautiful thing called love, found me and I was blessed by its charming embrace, for this creature beside me is mine alone, whom I share with no other. Like all things wither and grow old, like all things fades away, history forgets all. This moment tells all the tale, make each day a picture of a dream come true, for each second is more precious than diamond.

That amidst billions of souls, a true soul clung to mine, and as his soul was mine to control, mine was his as well. We made the journey a merry ride, converting troubles to strength and the lack of money settled most choices. Body and soul intertwined, sorrow and happiness intertwined, we cried shoulder to shoulder, shameless of each other.

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May 26, 2020
“I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE” SHE SAID
“I am tired of this life” She said
I just talked to a long-time friend of mine whom I have not spoken to for a long time. She said something that wasn’t foreign to me but touched my soul. “I am tired of this life”
I remember saying those exact words some weeks back.

Do you know that depression is real?

It comes in different forms, but its goal is to take away your joy.
Have you ever felt this yearning ache in your heart that something is missing, maybe a purpose maybe a dream, maybe someone? Have you ever felt this emptiness in your body and soul that your innards felt so hollow? Have you ever felt lonely even in a crowd of people that cared about you, that even their attention doesn’t reach that depth of ache that comes intermittently, without warning it throws you off balance.

Sometimes it leaves you crying helplessly, and shamelessly with a heart wrenching pain that you feel better after those healing tears. That hurt that cries into you, telling you that all your sacrifices/ years have been wasted.

Have you ever had this feeling about your life, that there is something it was supposed to complete, but sometimes it seems lost wandering today that tomorrow you find yourself once more and borrow some energy, from any source to keep pushing?

May 24, 2020
MY OKADA LOVER

When I met him, he was an Okada (Motocycle) rider, one of the poorest profession as at that time. At first I was ashamed to be frank, but it changed to pride when I knew him. People laughed and said how foolish I was, how madly in love I was, but the truth still remains that no one craves for happiness better than the soul fighting for it.

When he came to the house, mud house it was, there he would be Sited on his bike with pride in his countenance and tell me all the dreams and aspirations he had planned and how he would work it to fructification, for us.


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There were I stood, my pain was so excruciating, my sorrow was deep it came from within. I was lost to loneliness where no one wanted to hear my voice. My world was crashing at my feet, my sorrow has overtaken my life

The walls of my life caved in, shattering at my feet. I was Lost to the wind that I knew I was tired of this world of men. How foolish they were, they promised love but practiced everything but love they promised to be there when you called but when you needed them most, they were missing in action(MIA). It was only when someone died that the remembered how good you were, how kind you had been to them. The wrote wonderful stories, some true, most lies, to remember the role you once played, then you are forgotten so quickly. That amidst a billion souls crawling the earth none cared, that amidst all the promises of care, none will keep.
I needed to rest my limbs and body in another world, maybe I would be accepted in it, maybe someone in the new world will hear my crying voice.

There in her gaze I was lost in her innocence and beauty, tenderness and her charm. Her tender smile sent tendrils of excitement through my heart, like the folding of the petals of a flower, it was so clear and beautiful. Her eyes was dull brown, a tincture of sparkle came from those. She was tender and vibrant, active and funny, her skin a mixture of honey and milk, a brown queen she was.
Her kind eyes, drawing my soul into hers, when our eyes met in a flicker of a second, I felt lost in a realm I have no control of. My days will be brightened by your presence, as my lonely nights will forever be gone.


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I loved the feel, of it’s soothing effect as the water droplets trickled down my body, as i dance and turn, laugh and scream, as my body came alive. How many times I was punished for this, but each time the rain came, I quickly forgot all about the streaks of Cain I hated the most, as I dashed into its welcoming embrace.

For nothing could compare to this moment, when my unclothedness shamelessly shown to the tears of the rain, as my feet splashed small water bodies, all over, my hands raised up to the sky to catch this stones of someone’s tears. How I imagined the rain drops to be someone’s tears, sometimes i felt pity for this soul that cried unending, day and night wondering how he would heal, for his pain became my gain, as tender ripples of excitement thrill my senses.

That moment I would remember to bath, but all I could wash with my soap that must touch the sand, was my round stomach, as my hands went in circles, only for the stomach, not caring about other body parts, for the stomach was the most important body part I needed the most. I would later be lost in the pepper soup smell of my armpit, what a child!


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Then she lifted her hands, and Said some inscrutable words, and next minute a new house was erected.
Shocked and surprised;




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