@ I-MAN

We don't know,they may not be fully committed,that is why the poster's lament is on very shaky grounds.Even if they were married,a partner's entitlement to control how the other spends money is doubtful at best,never mind when they are not even married.

I would be extremely reluctant to complain about how my wife spends her money on her siblings,even more so,if its my girlfriend

COMMITTMENT IS COMITTMENT,ESP WEN U R TOWING THE LINE TOWARDS MARRIAGE.TINY PROBLEMS TEND TO GET BIGGER BY THE TIME U GET MARRIED.IF I WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE AND HIS WAY OF LIFE CONTINUES LIKE THIS IT WILL GO 4 THE WORST COS,KIDS R INVOLVED,A FAMILY HAS STARTED AND THESE TICKS WONT STOP COMING.THEN WEN U OPEN UR MOUTH TO COMPLAIN PEOPLES REPLIES WOULD BE;DID U NOT SEE D SIGNS WEN U WERE DATING?,Y DIDNT U TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT THEN? SO HE WILL CONROL IT.BY THEN ITS TOO LATE!SO I DONT UNDERSTAND UR POINT! THIS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING THAT LEADS TO BUILDING A HOME TOGETHER

WOMEN DONT OPEN THEIR EYES AND GET INTO AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE,THEY ALWAYS CONSOLE THEM SELVES WITH;HE WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER ITS ONLY A LITTLE TEMPER .AT THE END ,THE MAN TURNS INTO A TERRORIST IN THE HOME,AND A WIFE BATTERER.BECOS SHE KEPT QUIET ABOUT IT AND DIDNT MAKE HIM SEE THE WRONG IN IT.

The thing is that she's not married to the guy and she wants to control his bank account.
He is not a drunkard
Not a gambler
not seeing prostitutes
but spends money on his own sisters,his flesh and blood.

Milkyway,the man has not carried wine to your people,you are not desperate abi
He loves his sisters and would continue to do so

I wish my brothers gave me money       

My own hubby sends his sisters and their kids money and I have no problems with it.


no one is controlling anyones bank account

what if your hubby sends moni to his sisters and her kids to detriment of himself and family? can't pay your kids school fees, pay the rent,or put food on your table? of course you will be singing a different song??.and we r talking about gals that work!!!

lastly, your husbands brother- inlaws shuld be ashamed of themselves because they r men like u hubby,and can't  afford to take of their own family? unless something went wrong along the way.GOD FORBID MY BROTHER TO DEPEND ON ME AND MY HUSBAND TO SURVIVE!!!!!, SUCH A SHAME

@ dot
If my brother don't give me money no more then he having it from me! i will always spend my brother monies pure and simple

its obvious u r ready to be a TICK all your life!!!

caring less if ur broda's eat or not----such love,

way to go!!!!

thumbs up!!!

@ d-reloaded,

its not like i enjoy making it a tribal issue.cos i know it can happen

any where.its just dat d way some of the posters react, like am

refering to them directly.so i kind of reply according to their post.

i thank GOD that i wasn't raised to be a TICK on my siblings too.

THANX FOR UR POST

@ dot2002

like i said before,dont get married!

secondly,even the devil quoted bible 4 jesus so,

lastly if u are born again,u wont talk about a woman leaving her

husband if he is jailed.so,

@ dot2002

if he was jail today for 20 years you will leave tomorrow, forget i love him so much crap, his family will be there for him no matter what.

thanks very much,theres no point getting married 4 u at all,if dats ur idea of better for worse.just remain single, live in ur fathers house,dont start a family of ur own and i bet u,it will be so much fun! :-XHISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

@ presido

You just want to beef igbo gyls and nothing more. Mind you if you finally marry him your daughters will be igbo gyls as well.

no doubt they will become ibo gals but with a difference,because they ve an edo upbringing too.which will neutralise that sense of dependence on siblings,even when they ve  jobs .everything boils down to sheer greed,and a
terrible mentality.BUT u dont want to accept it.

also u fail to see the part were i say the gals ve JOBS,they WORK

@ kojeiwa
my brother,its good to know dat i ve my broda ere
thanks for ur response,sincerely i noticed d ibo pple were
trying to get back at mi rather than help,but its ok

as per the questions u raised

Does he complain he is broke?
Is he playing his own role as a boyfriend financially?
How old are his sisters you are taking about?

yes,he complains constantly about being broke,i even help out .he cant afford to buy his personal stuff and even make his place look nice,and these gals dont care,all they care about is money.if the gals actually love him,they would want him to improve in his life style. and they work??they have jobs?? its shocking!!!

when he is always caught up with demands and cant improve his life style of course u know the result,

as per the last question they are above 26yrs old.
ve bin very patient,also i try to make him understand that he needs to save money to make his own home.
if i see things are not changing,my brother i'll move on.cos i hear ibo gals r like dat.and from theiir replies to this post its obviously true

JUST PLAIN NASTY, EWWWW
IT EVEN MAKES LADIES SWEAT!!!

@ ROMEO

U R ONE OF THOSE NFA IBO BOYZ DT WAIT TO POUNCE ON PPLES
WEALTH,MY DEAR GO WORK HARD 4 UR OWN, U DNT WANT TO WORK,BUT U WANT BRODA TO GIVE U ALL,BRODA HAS HIS WIFE AND FAMILY TO THINK OF,COMMOT EYE 4RM PEOPLE THING,

PEOPLE LIKE U MAKE PEOPLE RUN AWAY 4RM IBO PEOPLE

@ chidi chris
my dear,
u mentioned it here that he is ready to do anything for u so why worry yourself about him taking care of his sisters

permit mi to call u a fool(LOW LIFE PARASITE),can u read your post?the sisters are tearing him apart with demands and i shuld do same?
yes he is ready to do anything 4 mi,but i should also join his sisters to bury him early abi?am not as illiterate as u and your family.d young man is just coming up and u want to rip him apart to satisfy yourself
   MAY GOD DELIVER   You

@davidylan

thanks for your advise and thanx for understanding my

situation. u re one of the few dat understand my post, its not easy oh,

@ CHIDI CHRIS

it is advicable that u join him in making his sisters happy and by so doing he will love u the more for doing the things that will make him happy otherwise quite because your happiness will be short with him if u go into marriage.

GALS LIKE MI DAT VE JOBS? I SHULD ALSO JOIN AND SPLIT MY SALARY FOR THEM TOO.? COS I WANT TO MARRY THEIR BROTHER?THANK You VERY MUCH

You TOO You DNT KNOW URELF!!!!

@ ROMEO
VERY FUNNY.LEARN TO B INDEPENDENT OF PEOPLE AND TEACH YOUR SISTERS SAME

@ ROMEO
U SOUND LIKE THE TYPE DAT WILL LAZY AROUND,AND HAVE EYES HIS BROTHERS HARD EARNED MONEY,EVEN WEN U HAVE A JOB,AM SO SORRY 4 U.

@ PRESIDO

So play your card well if you want him


AM NOT GOING TO YIELD TO THE MANIPULATIONS OF GIRLS
LIKE MI, HE IS NOT MY SUPPLY LINE FOR FUNDS.[b]I HAVE A JOB![/b]THESE ARE THE TYPE OF LADIES THAT WILL COME UNNANOUCED TO YOUR HOUSE WEN U R MARRIED,AND ENTER YOUR KITCHEN ANY HOW IN THE NAME OF ITS MY BROTHERS HOUSE,MY BROTHERS MONEY,WE WERE CLOSE B4 U CAME INTO THE PICTURE, B'COS HE FAILED TO DRAW THE LINE
NO LADY LIKES DAT!

@kkyce
whats your problem.if he is not to give them who will?


obviously u are one of those gals who will want to be a madam in her brothers house from her matrimnial home!!!!!and i can bet u r the type who wont tolerate dat in your own realationship.

in addition u r very greedy if u have a JOB and u r still a parasite to ur own brother who is trying to make ends meet and plan his future? thank GOD u r a woman u will see dis kind of thing happen TO YOU

@ cidi chris
by the way, do u have brothers? how are they close to u? how demanding are u to him?

i mentioned i had brothers and we are very close too,i cant bring myself to be a parasite to them,in addition i have a job?its not fair at all to do such to people.

Sisters still hounding their brothers despite the fact that they get salaries themselves. Pathetic

If you love yourself, you had better leave. Families can become unbearable especially in Nigeria


thanks u r the only one who seems to understand my point of view,am not controlling anyone.just want to be sure of wat am getting myself into.
As for your question??yes i got a job and am not one of those good samaritan girls

BANKERS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!! U COULD HOOK US UP NOW,AS PER JOBS
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my dear,its difficult but mmy advice to u is to let go

its sad,but the risk aint worth it at the long run.dats y before

getting seriously into a relationasip,all these are of importance to

find out.

good luck

[b]People come onto this forum and advise people to leave their men or women, they make it sound easy, like love or tolerance or peace is not an option. I just think it aint fair. If you want to give any advice, put yourself in their shoes, advise them to go the extra mile, and if all options lead to a failure - give them some straight talking but leave them to make up their own minds about which direction to go. Your's is to advise, not to direct ohhhhhhhh[/b]h


please talk to mi

hi whitelexi,please advise mi genuinely as a woman to a woman'
i need your advise please

hi so watz ur point,?

Bolarge:

@monisoola
To answer your question straight up, no, your expectations are definitely not grandiose.
To address the situation u have however detailed above, I will say you are dealing with 2 major and 1 minor contraindication to your relationship.
The major contraindications being:
     -Your parents' lack of consent and
     -Differing religious orientation.

The minor in this case being:
       -Your man's seeming non-chalant attitude. Every guy passes through a nonchalant-like phase at some point (though I get this feeling this might be more major than it actually appears)

Something tells me your man has already done a better/more objective analysis of the situation than you have and doesn't exactly see a future. Sorry, but that's how I see it. I may be wrong. This will explain why he's not exactly keen on investing in the relationship the way you are.

Way forward:
Dearie start thinking with your head rather than your heart. Anything above 2 contraindications to a relationship is a red alert. Ignore it to your own peril.
Sit him down and table everything before him matter-of-factly.
Take note of everything he says and use your womanly instincts to read between the lines.
Then act wisely.
Cheers.

good point

Funny thing, one tend to like people like that so much. I'm sure u love this guy & i'm sure that if he changes those stingy habits of his, he'll be that perfect gentle man u want.

I think u should do the part of taking him out. Take him to like three nice places, if he loves u enough he'll shamefully reciprocate what u did. List down the things u don't like in his attitude & discuss it with him


hope it works,cos from all indications i guess she must ve tried it

thanx guys

thanks you guys for your responses,am glad i posted this,

its given mi an idea of wat am in for

please i use an N70 and i cant use the mms facility and dats very frustrating
please can any one help mi out,my fone is manufactued by voda fone
thats my own gsm wahala o

@presido sisters that work,c'mon,,haba !!! i cant do that to my brother

oh,cos thats not fair now.am not my brothers responsibility .of course

ave met his parents so thats no issue


meanwhile we are planning on tieing the knot early next year year,i believe as a lady

who is in a relationship heading for the next level should show concerns in her mans life and finances cos u are starting a home together.if we dont channel our resources well. we wouldd both fail.and i can swear those gals wont be there to rescue either of us cos they will be busy in their own homes

nobody says a man shouldnt send money to his parents,but a case where the girls have jobs and he places them all on allowance,dats not too much to say stop,cos the lady will b tagged wicked by the time he stops it wen dy are married.
if thats the advice you will give ur sister am really sorry

well romeo,thats the point! if there was a house he was building or something,i wont ave a cause to complain,but that is not the case.nobody is saving any money for him,he gives them for their personal stuff to the detriment of himself.ve seen it happen a lot of times.he is a nice person like i said, to a fault and he likes them no doubt am not against that but they are taking advantage of this.

   its obvious men like u would put your wives in 2nd place ova your sisters and mothers,instead of seting the records straight from the beginnig,because u lack the ability to draw the line.