@ 190

I cant speak for other ladies. But there are ladies out there that date guys that are not as rich as they are. For me what is important is potential, afterall no condition is permanent. We have seen really rich men become poor overnight. If you follow money for this life, you go tire.

This is not to say a woman should follow a broke guy o or not aspire for better things, but the money doesnt make the man or give him character. I would rather marry a broke man who is faithful than a rich man who chases any skirt that passes by.

Besides, sometimes a girl dates a guy who doesnt have shishi and then the guy sef doesnt have ambition or feel the need to better himself. That is something that we are seeing alot of in naija, situations in which the woman is the bread winner of the home. Haba haba guys, give women credit o, Sometimes you guys just castigate us as if there arent any good women at all. There are instances where the woman is taking care of the bills, the guy and family, and still the guy is messing around. Let us not act as though men do not have issues

@ Nayah

Well said, some guys come at you throwing money in your face while they are toasting you as if to suggest that the reason you would consider dating them is cos they have money.

Personally i find it irritating when i meet guys like that cos it makes them look shallow. It makes me think that without their money, they have nothing else to offer.

@ 190

I see what you are saying, but the reason girls pay their bills in other countries is because for the most part it is a part of their culture. If that was something that was part of our culture from the get go, more girls will do it, i think?

As for the babe sleeping with 3 guys in 3 months, i can make the same excuse that guys are guilty of that too, no gender is free from blame when it comes to misbehaving. It boils down to the individual and their values. Its not a one size fit all kinda thing.

As for the blackberry thing, i think its stupid that blackberry has such a general appeal, period. Its original function was for business people who needed email and frequent contact on the go. The sad thing is that the pinging nonsense that makes it such a draw is similar to yahoo and gmail chat. Na packaging BB use deceive naija pple. To me BB is a fruit and will always remain such, Nigerians like status symbol ehn, if u dont own a BB, u havent arrived. My question is, do u need a BB or it is just for show?

@ 190

Ministry sha, lol, old person wey no get sense, e go hard o to teach that person sense. It all boils down to values. When you see a lady who values herself, she will not compromise and sell herself short. This doesnt necessarily mean that the babe must have money o.

But no be only naija babes get wahala, even naija guys sef de tire us women. Its hard to find decent guys among the lot of silly and immature ones out there. Those ones also make naija guys look bad.

But the funniest thing is, these problems are not peculiar to Nigerians alone, the same can be said of men and women in other countries

@ 190

i be naija babe o, and the people i roll with think just like me. Dont know the kinda babes u guys are meeting and where u are meeting them, lol, its a ll good sha

Thumbs up to naija babes who are keeping it real all over the globe. Not all of us are yeye o

lolol, the replies on this thread are too funny. I rarely ever see a thread on nairaland  where people do not insult themselves. Thats a major reason why i do not comment. Cant we all just discuss things in a civil manner. Wetin wan cause fight ontop this issue now? Onto say person beg abi person no beg.

I think that spending in a relationship should be a two way thing sha, with the guy doing more due to our orientation. But a babe sef should use her church mind. Volunteer to pay on outings from time to time, buy him gifts and such. Spending in a relationships must not involve expensive stuff cos to me its more of a gesture than anything else. Stinginess is a bad thing in either gender.

@ 190

I dated a guy for 3 years and i never ever asked him for money, not once. It takes a mature lady to know that her bf is not her father and should not demand money from them. On the other hand a guy should not be stingy. As a lady i will not demand anything from a guy cos i believe that women should be independent, plus i respect myself too much for a guy to use that as something to hold against me.

i think its a self respect thing more than anything else. All this yeye girls masef, see as dem de cause insult for us correct babes.

By the way, i think that guys should be able to discern a materialistic chick from a good one, but since a handful of you are more concerned with sleeping with them than anything else, toh why wont they not demand from you all.

We can accuse a high percentage of ladies of begging and at the same time accuse a higher percentage of guys of being cheats. IMO both sexes have issues that are common to them. Instead of focusing on the negatives and generalizing, how about you look for and hang with a lady that doesnt do the things you dislike.

Its a little annoying to see the generalizations being made especially since i have had guys beg me for money as well, but it is what it is. No gender is free from blame. Besides if i had to chose between someone who cheats and someone who begs, i most likely would be able to stomach begging better than a cheat. just saying.

If your meeting cheap girls, you'll definitely be getting cheap service. I find it creepy when i meet someone for the first time and they ask me for my number. Its a capital NO. Even if i've know you for a while and i dont like you, i dont give out my number. Like i said, cheap meet, cheap service

at Poster,

Forget all them peeps telling you to beg for forgiveness and crap like that, DUMP HIS ASS. You engageed to the dude and he is still cheating on you. Thats an immature, irresponsible dude right there. A man who truly loves you will stay faithful. We have some lame ass people walking this earth. How i go apoplogize for another persons misbehavior. That is pure BS. Leave the mofo and move on with your life. 4 years is a long time i know, but marriage is a lifetime. Would you want to spend it chasing off other women cos ur husband is an ass and cant control himself? I think not

I think you need to learn to strike a balance. Lets all remember that God is the one that provided the opportunity for us to be where we are. Dude learn to say no, its not everyone you send money to. At the same time i dont encourage you to cut off everyone, that is just extreme. Learn to balance the two.

My irritation with people living outside naija is that most times we are not honest about the way things are really here, let them know its not easy and stand your ground when you cannot help out. I as a person will never ever think twice of helping someone in need because God has used others to bless me at some point in time in my life, at the same time you have to choose wisely who to help and who to say no to. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

For those of you saying he should cut everyone off, i understand where your coming from, but no man is an island. Try to help people when you can, not just family, even strangers. Remember that only God knows what tomorrow brings. This yankee that we are thinking is stable and is our everything, God forbid, but what if some natural disaster or some kinda war breaks out, then what next? You think it is impossible, look at Japan and other countries.

NA GOD DE BLESS MAN. HELP WHEN YOU CAN. and yes i stay in the west so i understand where the poster is coming from.

I tire for people o.

@ poster, i am sorry but you have no reason being in that relationship. It is time for you to walk away with your life. What gives? are you an animal that the man has to hit you? Abeg jo, bone the guy, i understand investing in a relationship but men some times you have to cut your losses and leave while you can. No man should hit a woman regardless and vice versa, infact no one should hit anyone period. Thats why we have mouth and words to express what we are feeling. When we resort to hitting each other, we are no better than animals. Please think about yourself, you deserve so much more than he is offering. Love yourself by making sure that you recognize who you are as a peson. dont settle for nonsense. Jo o

As for dudes running their mouths about ladies being whatever they are and needing beatings, you have serious issues that needs some kind of counseling. No one should hit another human being no matter what. The only thing that makes us different from animals is our ability to think and allow our actions reflect our ability to reason. Do yourself a favor and empathize, you never know, it may be your sister, mother or daughter telling this story someday.

ANY GUY WHO HITS A GIRL IS A COWARD. TRY PICKING ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE

I remember saying this Dora was just as much a politician as anyone else, and if it were possible to die from hateful words, i would be dead, you guys know how insulting people get on Nairaland. No be today she begin misyarn. But anyhow sha keep saying she is ur role model, cos she is not mine.

Edicolove, i beg to differ on the fact that no one receives 6000 as salary, say as of recent, but i happened to work in the civil service for a short period of time last year and believe it or not, there were people who collected 6000 as their take home pay. Even as a graduate with not one but 2 masters, i was paid 36,000 naira, of course i left cos that was pure BS.

I still maintain that we should be honest about GEJs faults. The man has really made one too many obvious gaffes. I think that everyone is entitled to vote for who they want, but in a few years time, when we are still hearing the same politicians making empty promises and not delivering, that we can all come back on nairaland and apologize to each other for the rude comments made on behalf of these people who care nothing about us the youths and masses in general.

The article that we are using to praise GEJ is subjective to the person who wrote it, i bet there is someone out there who can equally write something as good showing that he has underperformed. We are just being played by political rhetoric.

Abeg make una vote for person who una wan vote for, its not by force for everyone to have the same opinions about a person. All this GEJ, BB debate is tiring. I am more interested in what the appointment of either of them will do for out country that is falling to pieces. I was one of the few that was happy for GEJ when he became president, but so far he has disappointed, especially in the area of security of human lives and property. His inability to contain issues is very distressing to me as a person. Look at the spate of killings, bombings and such that has happened during his time, granted its not his fault, but he responded poorly to each and every single one of them. God helps us

Saying that Jonathan is the most trust worthy of all candidates is subjective. Jonathan's biggest problem isnt PDP, his biggest problem is the fact that he is not knowledgeable enough to handle Nigeria, neither does he possess the leadership qualities to do so. Lets face it, this man is coasting on good will, the under dog who rose to power.

May the man who Nigeria votes win jare. All this election nonsense is tiring, esp since we dont know what these men plan to do when they get power. All i know is that Nigeria cannot survive another 4 years of what Jonathan has put forth so far. I dont even know who i am more scared of, the one who wont do anything, or the one who we know will do something, but are unsure of what he will do

All i see listed as GEJ's achievements are what he intended to do but has not accomplished.

In addition to that has he resolved the independence day bombing, in which he literally absolved Mend of blame even when they insisted that they were responsible for the bombing.

The Jos Crisis Nko? i dont expect GEJ to solve it, since it was an inherited problem, but his response to it has been almost non existent. Apart from saying sorry, what else has he done to see that the crisis is being sorted out. The report of the committee that was given to him had beautiful suggestions that had the potential to atleast alleviate the situation, what did he do with it?

Not only has lawlessness increased during his time, but now sef, dem no de fear because GEJ's slowness pass baba go slows own,

There is no need to talk too much cos the facts speak for itself. I am not a die hard BB supporter, infact i dont really support any of the candidates, but please lets be honest about GEJ's faults, the man has not delivered, especially in the area of human interest. I cannot stand his failure to respond to the loss of innocent lives in the country, due to his inability to grasp issues and act accordingly.

At this point, my attitude is Nigerians we deserve the leaders we get, to sit down and defend this mans mediocrity is a shame. We know may most likely win, ok o, no wahala, but can we be honest about his leadership abilities, which are almost non existent. Good intentions do not equal good result.

I look forward to the day in Naija when we dont have to choose between evil and evil. I look upon the coming election with alot of fear. GEJ is another 4 years wasted, BB looks like a good combination, but when i think about Nigeria's history with the strong handedness that Buhari used during his initial time in office, its a bit scary. Only God knows the true heart of each of these men. Personally i dont care about tribal affiliation, i just wish someone actually gave a damn about our country, the youths, quality of life, human rights and such, so far both main contenders have managed to violate all these things listed.

Nigeria, you will rise from the ashes and be great!

P.S Seun is entitled to vote for whomever he wants to as is everyone here, just cos u dont agree with him doesnt mean you should attack him personally. On nairaland, i think people need to learn to critic content and not the person. Its amazing how things gets so personal on here, its very discouraging, esp when one wants to contribute to a discussion without incurring curses on his entire family

I think its a fair question, but also unjust since it pertains to cultural practices. Waiters dont get paid up to minimum wage in the US based on the fact that tips are calculated into restaurant bills. In nigeria this is not the case. And to be fair to some people they tip in many different ways from leaving their change for the waiter or simply dashing them money afterwards.

Also the issue of customer service not being part of our culture is right on. Some people get treated like crap at some restaurants. But i think the biggest issue is that our soceity isnt set up that way. There isnt a need to compare. Nigeria is not the west and i think the sooner we start realizing it, the better for us.

Not in all cases.

But it's a good way of making an impression on people who can't tell the difference between the appearance of something and that thing itself.

at Utrame, i find the bold part very interesting, first and foremost, very nicely put, whether we like it or not, people will address us based on their perception of us. One of the things that influences perception is dressing. No one can say they have never judged a person by appearance before.

In any case back to my point to Utrame, the bolded part is a phenomenological statement and it makes me wonder what you have been reading or if that was your thought.

You cannot blame irresponsibility on anyone but urself, amle or female ashewo na d same thing. If the chick tempting u had aids, will u slp with her? Besides wen u cheat on someone, the person u cheated on is not the same person that tempted u, thats why she has the right to insult u, cos na u cheat and she was the one that was cheated on.

instead of making silly excuses for being irresponsible, let us decide to be faithful and committed partners. It doesnt matter who tempts who, both people involved are wrong, male or female.

I just have to add that i think that babes that knowingly go out with guys that have gfs or wives are just low skanks, women we suppose de try for ourselves. sorry if this sounds harsh, but half the time guys dont respect women cos of what our counterparts are doing/ how they are acting. All of a sudden all women cant be trusted because a few of us messed up. Hiss hiss hiss

Why must you even compare, totally different areas of specialization

Shock that is a good one, i just signed it. Please everyone go ahead and sign this petition and share the link on FB or where ever so that people can also sign it. We need all the support we can get

At Martin, I understand your anger and the need for revenge, but the continuous tit for tat is what keeps this crisis going. It is what has kept it going since the 1990s till date. Arent u guys tired of seeing people die? Or of waking up to find that there is yet another crisis? Please me i am tired of it. I cant even go on Bauchi road in jos anymore without having a heart attack. We have to find a lasting solution to this problem and i can tell you for a fact that continuous violence is not the answer.

Another thing, since  we cannot actually read the minds of people, let us give them the benefit of a doubt. I have seen muslims come on nairaland to rejoice over the killings of christians, if one of them doesnt support it and says so, rather than try to guess their motives, lets encourage more muslims to speak out against the violence. (Thats just my opinion, you dont have to agree with me).

Me i am fed up with the violence is jos and just want it to be done. I understand the anger, but i dont let it overcome me, in the end it wont solve the problem. We need to figure out how to bring peace, while at the same time defending ourselves and protecting our loved ones.

God will truly help us.

I am just seeing that particular picture of the bomb blast victims, there are others. The proceeding pictures are from the dogo nahawa incidence is march this year. Its funny, that looks like more than 30 bodies, meanwhile the official count is about 32 lives lost. For those of u that are complaining about the pictures, maybe you now have a general idea of what those of us that grew up in jos see and go through during the crisis.

A muslim spoke up on this forum, i think the name was Al--something. You are right, you people need to start speaking up and letting the world know that genuine muslims do not support this carnage. The continuous silence of the muslim community makes it look like Islam supports the killing of innocent people. Muslims begin to speak out if not these terrorists will hijack your religion. It has been done before (Germany and the holocaust. When hitler started, people said he and his followers were a small majority, we all know how the story ended).

Christians and fellow Nigerians, we need to see this pictures and cry out for justice. The victims of the crisis never get justice. I was there for the crisis in January and March 2010, its not pretty seeing the dead bodies and hearing the gunshots, knowing that people are dying at that moment in time. Or seeing your mothers walking down the street in protest, wailing, rolling on the floor. Its heart wrenching. Dont wait for this to get to your backyard before you speak out, NOW IS THE TIME

One more thing, I hear people say all the time that the northerners are illiterates and daft, you couldnt be more wrong, just because them no go school no mean say them no de strategize. They are very strategic in their approach to things, Jos crisis being a case in point. They hold some of the powerful administrative positions in top companies, organizations and ministries in the country. We all know that the admin is the power house of any institution. LET US STOP UNDERRATING THESE PEOPLE. In this case, their weakness happens to also be their strength. (please dont think i am praising them o, i am a christian and i am just telling you what i have observed). The biggest mistake anyone can ever make is to underestimate your opponent.
God help us all

Well this is going to derail the thread for sure, but if your on fb, follow the link

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=257218420962&v=wall

Its called jtown perspective and will give u a general sense of what the recent issue is. But basically its an ethnic-religious crisis. The indigenes are mostly christians and refuse to let the Hausa settlers (mostly muslims) lay claim to their land. the settlers are determined to get jos at all cost and keep attacking and killing the christians who in turn are fighting back. Thats the summary

at Beaf

No i am not, i just grew up there and stay there thats all. I am from Kogi state.

At Sachon

I think that our biggest issue in naija is tribalism and religion. once we can limit the power it has over us, half of our problems as a country will be solved

Beaf and Sochan, thanks for ur concern, i really appreciate it :-)

Well i stay there, but i am not presently in town. Thank God! I was there for the one in january and march and i havent recovered from that yet. The town is really tensed and i know for sure that there will be silent killings going on. My friends and family are safe, thanks for asking :-). We are praying for comfort for the ones we lost and also for a lasting solution to the problem.

Thanks for your concern Sochan.

At Beaf

Ok so lets not derail the thread, but i disagree with u saying that GEJ's quietness is not cluelessness. As far as i can see, the guy hasnt been quiet, rather he has been too quick to speak and doesnt deliver with action. Ok back to thread

Pat Utomi for president :-) ha ha

nothing do u o beaf

At Sochan

I agree that Jonathan hasnt been honest enough with us. Rather he is playing politics and he isnt even good at it


We all need to speak out, and also go out there and do something, i am looking forward to the youths of this country, rising up and fighting for their rights and demanding accountability and responsibility from leaders, and also demanding the same from themselves as well. The change we seek starts with us

El Rufai/Pat Utomi will also make a good team

GEJ stikes me as clueless, the man hasnt handled crisis situations very well. You cannot deny that Nigerians are becoming more and more violent (oct 1st bomb blast and the recent jos bomb blast). If the man cannot handle crisis situations, and if his present state of doing things is what we are to expect in another 4 years, i am not in support, sorry.

As someone who grew up and stays in jos and sees the devastation that the various crisis has cost and the inability of the fed govt to handle it, its painful to see how the issues are swept under the carpet while human beings are killed endlessly. GEJ hasnt shown commitment towards resolving it, he keeps condemning and doing nothing. See how messy things got for him with the Oct 1st bomb blast. The man doesnt have a clue. I am sorry this is just how i feel about him

faeb

You misunderstood me, i am not comparing the two of them or saying they are in the same class.

And i understand to a certain degree what Ribadus faults are, but in my opinion i would take him over GEJ anyday. You dont have to agree with me on the later.

I still think the best play would be for PAt and Ribadu to join forces, that way they can pool their supporters together to get a larger number of votes

At Oyinda

Pat cannot win if he doesnt make himself known to the masses. Thats the biggest debate on this thread, the best way to make himself known. I think the man should be given a chance to serve the country is some capacity. The question is how does he intend to get there? who are his supporters and how can he grow the number of supporters he has? The man just has a lot cut out for him. I wish him well sha