Yinabim:
Hello Everyone,

I am writing here for the first time, i don't know how to feel about this because i a very private person but since the death of my husband i had to wake up everyday to sadness. I never knew the extent of pain people feel when they lose their loved ones until now. I cant even concentrate on anything else and his family are making things difficult for themselves already.

I'm so young and with a 2 year old daughter, i just hope God help me scale through this storm. I'll come here to update this page as things unfold.

My sincere condolences.

Should you need legal help, maybe an organisation like FIDA (google them) should be able to assist you.

aisha1314:
Is it ok that I regularly tell people I don't ever want children because pregnancy and motherhood disgust me to the core?
Can I spit at people who judge me?

Hello.

First things first: spitting at people is nasty. You might not want to do that, lest you end up spitting at someone who "keeps it real" by replying with a fist to your face. Very nasty thing, bruises and contusions

Secondly, if you're really serious about not wanting kids (I won't ask how old you are or what your motivations are, I'll leave someone else to engage you on that), you'll have to change your environment.

Because wanting to be child-free in Nigerian society is akin to trying to scale Mt. Everest with no guide sherpa, carrying your own luggage and no supplemental oxygen. To understand that analogy, 70% of climbers who choose to do that, DIE.

There's only been one lady I know, who tried in her marriage, to remain child-free in Nigeria. I think she held out for 9 yrs.

Everyone else who made the commitment (and it is a serious commitment) to be child-free (not because of their age or how cool it is to say stuff like that when you're young or whatever reasons) all did one thing:

They relocated to an environment where being child-free is acceptable.

So you better start looking at IELTS and TOEFL and whatever exam they use to japa, if you're serious.

But to remain in Nigerian society and want to fight and argue for your right to be child-free, well, may as well book that ticket to climb Mt. Everest.

May you survive past Base Camp

Emeraldicon:
The infection has been troubling us for months now. Myself, my wife and two kids.

Small small Rashes with tiny mouth and little water like fluid inside. It is very itchy and we have taken all kinds of antibiotics and even injections but no way.

We just finished taking injections for five days like two weeks ago, the rashes disappeared for few days but they started coming out again.

If you have any idea what medicine can cure this kindly let me know.

Take yourself to a General Hospital (if in Lagos), the GP will refer you to a Dermatologist. And it is cheaper than whatever you'll be told to do here.

Because seriously, do you WANT to be taking medical advise from strangers on the Internet?

C'mon nau...let's use some of that common sense we all have.

Go to a GH please. Thanks.

A toxic queen.

Love her so much

That guy has been taught a lesson: he's going to be very careful because mad people don't belong to one gender.

ThatNiccur:


Cuts across music, goes into sports, fashion, politics. It's just fame generally. There's always a price to pay.

Hallo, I don't have access to the account I used to open this account. What's up? Maybe drop an email address.

ThatNiccur

koldrun:
I can't think of any other word to explain how I feel. Nothing gives me joy anymore. I've lost interest in virtually everything. Work, watching movies, hanging out with family and friends, etc. I always want to be alone.

Firstly, if you're in Lagos, go to General Hospital, Lagos Island. They have Psychologists and therapists there and that is the cheapest place to see one. They're all trained and certified.

Next, go and volunteer. You can decide to adopt a school in a poor area, get some paints and help repaint and decorate it. Or how about offer to teach the kids a subject you're very good in (you'll need textbooks). Don't do it once, agree to sign up till December. And then continue in January for the next term.

Finally, volunteer in church. Note I didn't say "join a Dept in church", I said "volunteer". That means you can help sweep and tidy up after church or ask if they can use you effectively. I'm trying not to send you into a place with its' own politics and human issues.

Depression is real. It's awful and we tend to isolate when we feel depressed. You're not alone but right now, nobody can reach you. So until you find out what is causing your depression, please do your best to live.

Take one day at a time.

temi4fash:


its good to have you back madam...

I been following your posts from way back...

Always straight forward and truthful..

More and more wisdom..

Hallo

Ah, I'm not wise o.

If you knew me in real life, I'm still a flighty young woman struggling with her issues, trapped in an old body

But I do like watching other people and learning from their mistakes.

Maeve7:


You have forgotten the balanced diet that a wife provides, and how she checks if he has taken his medicine, and how she makes sure he doesn’t drink too much and gets enough sleep.

Cardiac Arrests kill in minutes, Heart Attacks kill in hours.

Those men were literally dying alone! In fear! On the cold bathroom floor. In buildings surrounded by people who didn't care about them.

And young men want to listen to broken, damaged men tell them "nobody cares about you, don't care about anybody".

Any man or woman dumping anyone because he/she thinks they can get an upgrade when their status changes, is a fool. And they always regret it.

Money is useful but has its' place.

And it should NEVER change you or bring out your worst side.

The Book Of Ecclesiastes in the Bible is literally King Solomon, one of the richest, most powerful men of the old world, with all the beautiful women at his feet and sycophants around him, saying:

"All Life is vanity without God".

If he could see it, why should money give you power and your first thought is to "upgrade" your man/woman and check to see if the grass is greener outside?

It never is.

Or is your money long like King Solomon's?

Jman06:


Men generally get little or no care from anyone all our lives, so we grow used to sorting ourselves out.

This right here is one of the most AWFUL AND HORRIBLE LIES Podcast Bros have sold to the younger generation.

Statistically, Married Men outlive Single Men. Go and check.

Anecdotally, let me give y'all 2 real-life stories.

1. My classmate was single and lived with his younger ones. He went to the bathroom at night, had a heart attack. He tried to contact someone but only reached his cousin who lived 3 streets away. His siblings heard music in the bathroom all night long yet didn't go and check. He died in agony after 8 hours of being alone in the bathroom, on the floor. Imagine your last hours of life like that.

No wife will wake up at night, see her husband hasn't come back from the bathroom and not go and check. It's why in Marriage Counselling (and Old men) tell couples to not have separate bedrooms as they get older.

2. My Uncle was out there, cheating happily in a hotel. He had a heart attack. Side whor.e panicked and left him there, because she didn't want to get implicated in a police wahala. She locked him in the hotel room till the next day. He died long and painfully.

His wife would have at least tried to carry him to the hospital on the next street from his house, had he been home where he belonged.

Final story, a good one:

My friend's older friend is separated from his wife. During COVID lockdown, he got a bad case of malaria and was at home, alone. He nearly died. His cleaner decided to come and check on Oga and found him unconscious. He called the side chic he knew and that one switched off her phone. The cleaner then ran around the estate and a neighbour had the Ex-Wife's number. That sweet, forgiving lady showed up at the hospital and didn't leave her ex-husband's side till he recovered. The man asked his ex-wife to take him home and once they got there, she made to leave. He told the estate security to come and help him lock his gate and told his ex-wife: "I am NOT a fool".

He hasn't stopped begging and apologising and loving her till now. She has forgiven him and moved back home. Even when she said "e don do", the man still apologises. For the years of his stupidity and his ego and his lack of discipline.

Married Men live longer than Single Men because there are people who care about them.

Period.

Jman06:
You're right but let me just point out to you that most men don't feel lonely at old age like some of you ladies say.

Men generally get little or no care from anyone all our lives, so we grow used to sorting ourselves out. We make ourselves happy in our own ways and by the time we are old we would have gotten used being on our own. I don't know why some of you like threatening men with loneliness at old age as if we all don't know how men live their lives.

Quick question:

How old are you?

Because, you see, I'm old. By every metric globally, I cannot be called anything other than middle-aged. If you met me in real life, you wouldn't call me "you ladies", you'd address me as "ma".

So when I say "there will be loneliness in the future should you tread down this path and no amount of finding ways to make yourself happy will fill that void"...

...I am speaking of my classmates, friends and much older immediate male relatives whom have all expressed these thoughts and emotions to me.

Even women get lonely in old age, but because we are social creatures, we find one church to join, one cultural meeting to spear-head, one omugwo to do forever. So we're fine.

Men aren't socialised like that. And they never learn it until it's too late to change. Literally, I watched those men sit in their houses and attend burials and regret inwardly and then try and fix issues that should have been fixed 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago.

Some did. Others didn't.

It's why I always say "take the podcast mics from the current crop of guys handling them and hand it over to men in their 70s, if you want a cold splash of water to your face".

But, if you feel that you can see the future clearer than someone already in that era, sure.

People like to learn the hard way. That's why we still have addicts till tomorrow.

narite:
Money does not change people. It magnifies who they are. If they are kind, they simply have more to be kind with and vice-versa.

Strong agree. Money amplifies whatever you have in your heart already.

A man I know, married a lady who came from money (even his trad clothes were bought by her family). His family, his wife and his in-laws supported him for years. But this man was telling his friends and his mother how useless and unsupportive his wife was.

He eventually got a great job. The arrogance and ego that had been hidden somewhat came roaring out and suddenly, his wife was an "evil wit.ch" and that man ended his marriage. He's living it up now with women whom are "his class and level".

Nothing he did was shocking, if anyone had paid attention to his true character. Because you see, lack of money just made him "humble". Every petty slight and grudge (real and implied) he ever held over the years, he poured it on his wife venomously. Even his kids were not spared.

He's the king of the 💩 hill. For now.

There are several stories like this. I've seen the end of 4 such stories: all men in their 60s/70s, extremely lonely. P

Who knew that treating your wife and kids badly for women who love your money would be such a bad idea /s

My friend came from money, but didn't have any when he relocated. Now, he's wealthy but money hasn't changed him, he enjoys the good life but feels no need to destroy his wife's life and is even helping others where he can. Money didn't suddenly have him realising he could date a 27 yr old, in his 40s.

When I got some money, I bought nice things but I didn't suddenly realise I was better than my friends or family, I certainly wouldn't have felt the need to upgrade the man that stood by me when I was jumping bus.

My cousin and her husband became right-hand people to a Governor and his wife. All of a sudden, "what's up, how are you, greet your mum" became a message that she would reply 2 weeks later. Now the Govenor has left office (and didn't enter Senate House), she's suddenly following me on IG and liking my pictures. Foolish me forgot what she did and returned the gesture. Allow me to be petty and unfollow and block her arse

Far too many of your Politicians act like this. And they always die lonely and forgotten because money went to their heads and brought out their worst characters.

But regard Peter Gregory Obi and Gbadebo Rhodes-Vivour

Money only brings out the best or worst of you, it won't change you.

If you were selfish before, you're about to become self-centered and egotistical.

If you were empathetic, you'll be generous.

J-baby!

(When Lecturers didn't use to leave her in peace and even harass boys who were her friends).

Mehnnnn, she's come so far. Well done to her.

Hope she can deliver.

It's so amazing looking back at our group, seeing how we all ended up. Those that were looking unserious back then are the movers and shakers, the bad boy became a Pastor, the first class got a cushy job and stagnated there, those that moved abroad and live out their middle-class dreams...

Finally!

Patrick and Naomi together.

I think he's what she needs. Naomi needs someone to push her and get her out of her own mind.

I've followed Patrick's IG page for a while and he's really good at breaking he basics down but you get the idea that he's tough mentally.

Plus, did you guys know his current wife is a Nigerian girl? She's Igbo, they have 1 or 2 young kids.

Uhmmm...

Kpboy1, thorpido, Zemaye

Over to y'all

Maeve7:


Thank you. An interesting character you are. You don’t believe in the good in people? I didn’t know dolphins were destructive. I‘m going to read up on it.

Would you tag someone please?

I don't believe anyone is truly good. For all our good traits, there are times and instances where we dropped them. I know I have, to my shame. I recall moments where even the good traits I gave 70% of people, I did not give 30% of others. We all do that, to different degrees.

We're only good when we aren't tested by circumstances.

Dolphins are shitty animals, lol. They also do drugs (they poke pufferfish to inhale a chemical and get high).

I'm not a lot on NL, so I'll have to think whom to tag.

Maeve7:
Just saw an old thread and thought it would be nice to play again.

Please answer the questions and tag a person to answer them too.

1. What qualities do you admire in people?

2. What is your super power?

3. If you could change one thing about you, what would it be (character or physical trait)?

4. If you could be someone else for one day, who would you like to be?

5. What advice would you give your children or niece/nephew for choosing a spouse?

1. None. Humans are a destructive race. I prefer animals, there is order and logic to their worlds. No animal will wake up and destroy another animal for fun or emotion or for greed, ambition, vengeance etc. And when they do, we call them Dolphins and Pitbulls (naturally psychotic animals and animals bred by humans to be destructive).

2. An ability to go calm, cold and concise when there is serious danger. My mind empties and I am focused. And whatever I do in that moment, I will not regret it.

3. Probably not talk so much.

4. Rihanna. Transfer money from her account to mine.

5. Don't marry a man from the South-South or the North. Especially certain Deltan tribes. And when you marry, don't demand perfection from your spouse, make sure you're giving them your best and insist they give you their best.

I don't know about the Torah, the Koran or any other religious books.

But I do know that the Bible states very clearly in Ephesians 5: 31-31: "A man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and the 2 shall become 1 flesh".

That command is given to the Man. Not the Woman. Very telling.

Like I've said on another thread, a woman secures the home, the man secures the marriage. The issues we have stem from the fact that men want to be Head of the House but not be responsible for any part of the marriage, save show up and be served like a king. Which is also against Biblical principles.

And then when you add the fact that the man has no mind of his own and instead of holding the wife and making her his flesh, he makes his mother his flesh (I like what a previous poster said here: an almost incestuous relationship with his mother). It rots the marriage. Because his mother is now carrying 2 marriages on her head: hers and her son. When she's supposed to be in one and one only.

Men, you're supposed to cleave to your wives. Period. No buts, no ifs, no nothing. The Bible is very clear on this.

Women, don't marry someone who doesn't have space in his life for you because he and his mother have already cleaved unto each other and become one flesh. You will stagnate and rot, because you have been cut off from your family and
left adrift.

And a word of caution: they don't write "Mummy's Boy" on the forehead. The 3 I know have such different personalities (one timid and egotistical, another very egotistical yet bumbling, one very in-your-face).

Maybe the only trait I can see they all have in common is that all the men don't take criticism well. So their Mothers' unwavering love and support is always welcome when the whole world is against him (or seems to be).

Also know that, they won't turn all their male children into Mummy's Boys, it will happen to the child who has his life in distress, constantly runs to her for validation and love and is close to her physically.

One such woman, upon realising that she was about to destroy her son's marriage with interference, wisely asked her son to relocate to Canada. And stayed away from him for 5 years.

folake4u:


Apt Ma'am.

Nigerians really don't know their rights.

Whoever forged those documents will face the wrath of the law, especially in a state like Lagos.

I've seen and handled a divorce matter before and truly, Women dey see things for Nigerian men hand.

A lot of Nigerian men are committing Bigamy, not even Polygamy because of this fake Divorce document.

I don't even get why they do it, I heard it's not a cheap document even. Just paying for a worthless piece of paper.

Even at the US embassy, you'll see them submit the fake document and those ones will go and verify the court number and won't find anything. Then your passport gets flagged internally and good luck getting a visa afterwards, ever.

And the worst person that will suffer it will be the side chick. Because that man will wake up and blame her for EVERYTHING, even the choices he willingly made. Which man doesn't like playing the victim?? The shege meted out to the 1st wife will now look like child's play when it's her turn.

Then God help her if she does traditional marriage and the man dies. Automatically the only legally recognised wife is the 1st wife. That's it. All she can beg for is child support via the court.

Bianca Ojukwu (who was even a legal wife) came home to meet padlocked gate once her husband was dead. And she spent 10 years fighting her step-children for properties on behalf of her kids. She's lucky she won eventually. The money she spent on litigation will be enough to pay Ikoyi rent comfortably.

Talk less of one random babe and an Oluwole Divorce document.

Good luck to anyone else wanting to follow that path. Your eyes will peel.

Maeve7:


100 likes! I hope she is strong enough to resist him because he will try to change her mind along the way when sh*t hits the fan.

All of them do!

When their mid-life crisis fog starts to lift, the way they will suddenly back track. Because now their side chic has become a problem, the infatuation glow is fading from their eyes but ego won't let most of them form their mouths to beg their wives.

You'll hear lawyers talk about how the man starts to send more money than stipulated, to the wife. They suddenly want to become great fathers. That's when they'll join a "bible believing church" and be using the Pastor to try and manipulate Madam into settling the matter amicably.

Any love that has you doing crazy shit that people try and tell you is wrong but you don't listen, is bad for you. And is not Love.

See Yul now pulling delay tactics in court (showed up without his lawyer, another time said he was sick). May is not going to save him from himself anymore and Judy will never let him go. Man is stuck.

Alright, here's what you're gonna do!

(If this was a movie, there'd be upbeat tempo music cued here )

Step 1: DOWNLOAD THAT FAKE DOCUMENT, SAVE IT AND SAY NOTHING TO THE I.DIOT. No reply, nothing. Don't tell the enemy your plan.

Step 2: get the best wig you can muster, get your nails done, get makeup did, get 3 perfect outfits, I don't want to see ankara, go and find out what May Edochie, Anita Okoye is wearing. Be inspired! You need to take 3 different pictures and upload it like it was different days, on your Facebook page. Your captions should be light and airy, you must look like you're living your best life. Post one with your little sweetheart, make sure her hair is done and she looks amazing.

Why? Because when this shi.t blows up, people will rush to your page to check you out. You have to come correct, so they can shout "Ah Ahnnn, see the lovely family this man threw away, he is useless!!"

Step 3: go to Twitter/X and post this story and that document there. Mention his govt name, Mention the fact that this started because your child got defiled. Tag the popular female accounts there. Ask for a lawyer.

All the so-called "Angry, Bitter" Feminists will get pissed and retweet it. And everyone will go and look for his FB page to drag him.

Step 4: get the most serious lawyer you can. Not charge and bail, which is why I said Twitter. Run a Twitter search with the word "Divorce in Nigeria", look up who posts on it and make sure you tag them all to your thread.

They see this kind of fake documents a lot and will tell you that it is a criminal offence. The clerks who do this tend to get in trouble and get reported.

The only reason it keeps happening is that Nigerians don't know the law and don't Google or speak to a lawyer, even the educated ones.


Make sure you keep this copy of a fake divorce. You will need it in court after the 2 years have passed and your filing (you're going to be the Petitioner) because you're going to go after his job for child support and custody. He committed a crime, he can't get joint custody, you're filing for sole custody. This will allow you make plans such as japa and anything serious without waiting for his input.

But yes, you will allow him visit his child. Why? Because you're a good person and you want your child to see for herself that her father is useless, don't tell her, let her see it for herself.

Oh and one last thing: Once a lawyer is involved and you may have gotten a document from the court stating that his fake marriage dissolution paper doesn't exist, attach both documents and email it, plus a short explanation and full govt name, to all the embassies of countries that Nigerians tend to japa to: UK, USA, Germany, Canada etc. If you have a copy of his passport dat page, add it as well.

Also, have someone monitor his page and that of the babe. In case they're daft enough to attempt to get married, you need evidence of Bigamy. Which yes, you should inform the church he attends of and yes, that is a criminal offence under the Penal Code of Nigeria. You can even get police to harass him on his fake wedding day in front of the guests (you should )

You're doing that for fun

MsJackson:

he already divorced me. I received the papers yesterday on WhatsApp. Dissolution of the marriage. Everything happened from March till June, signed and stamped by a judge of the high court. No papers were served me, no notice, NOTHING. just a document telling me it has been dissolved. It all happened behind my back, without my knowledge. This same year the separation occurred.

Eh?

Eh?




JESUS BE PRAISED!

GIRLLLLL!!!!!

WHOM THE GODS WANT TO DESTROY, THEY FIRST RUN MAD.

You are NOT divorced.

However, your Not-An-Ex-Husband is in trouble. Like in, "How long do you want him to be arrested for and how much do you want him to settle at Police station" trouble.

The Law of Marriage Dissolution in Nigeria is clear and absolute.

1. Neither Party to the Marriage can file before a Separation of 2 years has been completed. No ifs, no buts, nothing.

2. The Petitioner must serve papers to the Respondent notifying them of the legal process.

No judge in Nigeria will sit and pass a decree of Dissolution on a marriage where the respondent had no idea. That's begging to be disbarred. My cousin's wife abandoned him years ago to the US and she still had to be notified via email of the process. You have to show up in court because Nigeria doesn't do No-Fault Divorce, both of you must accuse each other of something, anything.

3. No court sits that fast in Nigeria. And in Marriage Dissolution, there must be a Decree Nisi given and then 3 MONTHS after if there is no change, a Decree Absolute. Only when you get that Decree Absolute does it mean you are legally divorced.

Unless you did only Traditional Marriage o, but if you did Court Wedding those are the steps to end a marriage. Even Customary Court has their own steps and do it with Magistrate. And you didn't get married under Islamic law.

What that Id.iot did was what a lot of FOOLISH NIGERIAN MEN have been doing for a while now:

He paid a clerk at court to fake divorce documents and get a corrupt judge to fake-stamp it.

IT IS ILLEGAL.

YOU ARE NOT DIVORCED, YOU ARE VERY MUCH MARRIED.

Don't believe me, ask any Lawyer. Google it!

These foolish men are banking on the fact that Nigerians tend to be ignorant of how Nigerian laws work.


So, in my next post, amma tell you what to do.

Maeve7:
Words mean different things to different people so who is a mommy‘s boy?

I have an uncle who is in his 50s and has a very close bond with his mother. He visits her (a widow) almost every day and goes out of his way to make her happy.

The mother stays out of his marriage. She and wife have a good relationship.

Not everything must be a problem.

But your Uncle isn't a Mother's Boy.

He loves his mum but put boundaries around his marriage.

A Mother's Boy has zero boundaries. His Mother makes all his decisions, including the ones that will affect his children. His Mother defends him, even when his other family members think he's making a mistake.

She's not doing it out of love, it's usually damaged women that create Mummy's Boy out of their sons. Because of their trauma from other parts of their lives, they are desperate to protect their children at all costs. So they smother them with an unhealthy love. And it chokes everything in their child's life.

A traumatised, emotionally unhealthy woman who hasn't worked on her issues will cling desperately to her children. She will create a Mummy's Boy.

A lot of Mummy's Boys tend to create Daddy's Girls, they're usually always looking for a voice of a woman to put in their heads because it is empty.

They always have several female friends who like them like crazy but never marry them. Those ones are looking for men to lead them in marriage, they don't want to be the ones leading the marriage and they certainly don't want to be fighting for DStv remote with their MiL (I swear, my Aunt did this to her DiL, I was ashamed when I heard it, my mum had to tell her to please go to her own home and leave her son alone).

I have 2 boys. I don't even want anyone to call the youngest of them "Mummy's boy" and he's literally a baby. He can come and ask me for advise any time but I would be upset if I were the loudest voice in his head as an adult. That space belongs to God, then me and his father (when he is a child), himself and a few trusted friends (as a young adult), then himself and his wife (as a settled adult). Your Self must always be a strong voice in your mind.

Kpboy1:


Alright, I have thought of a quick alternative if you're open to it. How's your visa arrangement going?

Sure, hit me up

Kpboy1:


Alright, I have thought of a quick alternative if you're open to it. How's your visa arrangement going?

I guess fine...

Sure. Hit me up

Firstly, almost all the previous posters before me, on this thread, need to put down the glass of water and red pill in their hands. Put it down. And go touch grass.

OP, let me share with you a very true story of a Marriage to a Mummy's Boy.

This young fellow with spendthrift qualities married a frugal, street-smart babe with dual citizenship.

One day, she saw his Mother call frequently and tell him "do this, do that". Her husband refused to tell her why. She forced him to. He said someone contacted his mum and offered to set him up with a govt job. His wife immediately said it was a scam. Hubby disagreed, so wife set a trap. Yes, it was a scam.

Husband was struggling financially. Wife saw scrap of paper with a Pastor's account number on it. His Mother sent it to Hubby. Pastor saw sheep to fleece and fleeced accordingly.

Wife told Hubby: "listen, Nigeria is in meltdown and I have dual citizenship. Can I file for you, so we relocate easier than everyone else who is writing exams to japa? You'll get a great job and be settled eventually". Husband agreed. Then later told her to cancel plans. His Mother said he should not relocate, because the marriage will end (as per the wife will be in charge and not her her son).

Mother decided to help her son find a correct job, instead and she did. Very nice salary. But remember what I said Hubby's quality was? So with all that money came a lirru madness. Babes started entering Husband's eye and before you could say "they're all golddiggers, run!", Husband chased his wife and children out for one of the daughters of Jezebel. But he did it craftily: he got his Mother to fight the wife and her family for him.
His Mother realised only too late. Now she hasn't met her youngest grandchild and her son is fully off the rails. Daughters of Jezebel have even convinced him that his wife is a thief and why the f should he pay schoolfees.

His Mother is now checking his (ex) wife's WhatsApp status updates, too proud to approach that one and join hands together to save her son. Because she has realised that Daughters of Jezebel are not fools or foolishly in love like the wife, they WILL make sure that after Wife is out, the next person to get rid of is Mother.

At least, Wife was more biddable. Daughter of Jezebel will tell Husband "your mother needs to be informing me before she comes to visit". And Mother will not be able to fight, before everyone says "oh, you're now fighting the new wife? You still won't leave your son's marriages alone? Can't you go and find something to keep yourself busy, this old woman?"

A Mummy's Boy is a Man who is easily led and influenced by the voice of the loudest woman in his heart. And sometimes, that voice is not just his mother's voice, it could be one of his female bestie or the girl outside who saw a ready-made man, Nigeria's crumbling economy and played her cards ruthlessly (she probably said to Husband "I love you, but I can't be with a married man" and that one, supercharged on infatuation, lust and mid-life crisis, threw his wife and kids out.
However, he foolishly assumes the Daughter of Jezebel will want to play Stepmother to his 3 young children from Day 1 of his new marriage. Leemao).

He has no mind of his own.

This lack of mental strength has destroyed families and empires.

And that's why you don't marry A Mummy's Boy.

Kpboy1:


Yes I am. Hope you're as well. My opinion: there's a somewhat balance between emotion and logic, it's like a two edged sword...I feel you blended it well in how you perceive and interprete life...wish I could go through most of your posts on male/female relationships... happy to send a Inbox if that's okay. Good evening.

I don't have access to my email account I used on this forum, anymore.

Kpboy1:


I like your submission, captivating and intuitive. So in Iceland and Greenland sex workers are scarce to offer mostly men one night stands or quickie on request? Thanks

I don't know about sex workers.

What I do know is that Nordish countries (Finland, Greenland, Iceland) tend to have very close equality laws and society. So most people pays bills 50:50 in marriage, men do a lot of chores in marriage and divorce isn't a stigma over there. Relationships aren't started to help someone financially.

Germany isn't playing.

Last year, they had Border Patrol on planes to check and ensure that passengers on Luftansa have their passports, before being allowed to enter the airport, after your flight.

The whole world has slowly been moving away from mass migration for the last 6 years (I remember noticing it back then in the USA and predicting it would spread globally).

Nobody wants mass migration, not Asia, not Europe, not Oceania, not the Americas.

Africa is messed up because we're still acting like all is well. Only a few countries have seen the writing on the wall and are preparing their countries for this. Nigeria is definitely acting like all is hunky dory.

If you're planning on emigrating, this year is the best time to leave. Next year, it will get worse globally. Even if the Dems win in the USA, they'll still slow down migration.

MsJackson:

JESUS! WHO ARE YOU? An Angel God sent to comfort me this early morning. I woke up to this. How can I thank you for this? The tears i have cried for 8 months since the discard, I have never cried it in all my 40 years of existence. God knows how I begged and begged from one relative to another, from his sisters to his parents and to even his sisters husbands. They are in on this whole plan because they ALL turned their back on me and blocked my numbers on their phones, based on what their son told them. Not one time did they ever call to hear my side of the story, and when I tried contacting them, they told me, NOT AVAILABLE. I attended a convention some days back and the whole family were there, including the new girl. She was literally hanging off the arm of my estranged husband. He knew I was coming because the daughter told him before now. The family all sewed the same clothes, plus the girl. You need to see the way they were flaunting her. I went to the toilet and wept my eyes out. Only for me to get home and see on my daughter's phone what he uploaded on his WhatsApp for our friends to see. He posted that God should save him from a monitoring spirit. And he posted ABOKOKU. If you understand yoruba, you'd know the meaning. Fresh tears. You replaced me already, why still humiliating me in public? The depth of wickedness this man and his family are meting out to me is unfair. I made mistakes, why do I have to die for them? If God acted that way towards we that offend him daily, who will survive? A lot has happened that I won't have time to go into. Just know that whoever you are ONEGAI, my God sent you. My thank you will never be enough.

Mute his WhatsApp status on your daughter's phone. Never keep your eyes on whatever he's doing, how much he's spending, whom he's loving up.

The most important 2 things to do:

1. Speak with your lawyer. You need to be prepared.

2. Go for therapy and counselling. You need to improve yourself, work on your flaws and mistakes. It takes 2 to break a marriage up, so accept that which was your fault and correct it.

Put yourself in the best possible position for Life to be good to you. You're in the 2nd half of your journey of your Life, do better.

Avoid any physical place you will ever see him or his family, for now. Avoid it. Find new places to worship and hang out.

Forgive him and his family. Not because they're good, but for your own sake. Bitterness can kill your spirit, so release any sorrow via forgiveness. It will take time, but you must do so.

If you ever see any of them outside and they speak to you, calmly offer an apology any shortcomings you may have had and tell them you'll always be cordial. That entire apology should be one very short sentence, no begging, no grovelling, not a single word of reconciliation. And you are to make it to only one person, so thar they can go and share it amongst themselves.

You're forgiving them and apologising for your shortcomings because you need to be light and free so that God's blessings can come inside you. God's blessings can't come inside a dark, heavy heart.

Now, move on.

Your success story is ahead but you need to not look back, so you can claim it.

One last thing: go and get a tambourine. Keep it. Because as you heal, get better and grow into your new life and hopefully there's Love in your future (that's why you're doing that therapy, some negro out there has worked on his flaws and is praying for his Sarah), you'll shake that tambourine in praise to the Most High Lord.

All the best.

zemaye:


Onegai i miss you
I love everything about this post

Thank you. Hope you've been good.

Kpboy1:


Wow long time back, you're an amazing person lol ...not wishing to take you back this memory...I stumbled on the advice to "married lady needing se.x" not sure how I feel but your writeups and relatable. Nice meeting you. I'm largely anonymous on social media

Hello, hope you're good.