Whose report do we believe

Kobojunkie:
Are these men greater than Jesus Christ? This is what Jesus Christ said of all those who embrace the doctrines and traditions of men, all of whom He said are hypocrites.
...
So are these men above Jesus Christ?

No mortal is greater than Jesus Christ, but He has given men the privilege to do greater works than He did, and this is not the issue here. Bro, learn to accord respect to whom it is due. Do not be like the modern-day Pharisees who were against Jesus during His earthly ministry. All your assertion and reaction to this post derails the OP intent.

Mind you, there are false teachers and prophets and until you can prove a preacher to be false, it is better you stay mute.

She's young and confused.
You're young and confused, too.
See the red flag staring at you.
You do not need a prophet to tell you what to do.
MOOOOVE on and focus on your life.
With time, you will understand love and know it when a woman truly loves you.

How old are both of you?

For all I care, you are young and naive, and your story reminds me of the prodigal son in the Bible. Go complete your education and fix up the issue you have with your parent. Don't let the million in your account to deceive you. Stay humble. Honor your parent, and at the right time, you'll leave them when you have all it takes to be alone.

Any wife can write a book on how to be the wife or this or that, but the main thing is becoming the kind of wife God has created you to be...is it all about the kitchen or the other room? There's more to life than just becoming a wife or a husband.

CoolNL:
I and my siblings grew up in a very dramatic polygamous home, it was both hectic and toxic at a time.

We vowed to break the yoke of polygamy in our family but I don’t know if I’m toeing the line already.

I already have a child with a lady though I didn’t marry her, but we ended our relationship in 2020. We are cool and we are both taking care of our child without troubles, we only talk about our child and we don’t share what’s going on in our lives with each other.

I recently met a girl I plan to marry by the first quarter of next year, she is from a nuclear family and she knows about my family background as well. She’s been asking me what I’ll do if the mother of my child says she won’t allow my child visits or come spend the holidays with me except she is also allowed to come spend the holiday with my child in my house.

The question sounds confusing at the same time funny to me because I don’t know how a woman I stopped seeing since 3 yrs will suddenly say she won’t allow my child visit except she comes along.

That’s not my worry, I want to know if marrying my girlfriend when I already have a child with another woman will make me a polygamist.

Mod please help move to front page

Cc RoyalRoy

Whether you marry the first lady or not, you are married already because marriage is more than the coming together of a man and wife to become couples. For as long as there was an issue (a child) between you, you are married. As to whether you'd be a polygamist or not, that's another matter for another day, but your past has put you on the path of polygamy.

Congrats to him...but it is sad that many do not celebrate brain works or perhaps, media do not project good feats, but if it is one of those vanities, it'll be all over the cyberspace.

Oga, forget say you know person..it is good though, but favor smiled at you. If you like know the president of the world, if you are disfavored, nothing will happen with all your human connection.

Above all, be grateful to God, and do not think you got there simply because you knew someone there.

@OP, I hardly post on this platform but to read, laugh and be amazed at people's perception of real-life issues.

Kindly note that comments with the highest likes does not mean it made sense, and the ones with fewer reaction does not mean they are senseless.

That said, have you spoken to your wife to know all that she had bottled up in her mind? Don't just be particular about your needs. I'm married and marriage is not all about receiving. Good that you gave her money, but do you meet her emotional and other needs?

As a practicing Christian which you claimed you are, I would request that you seek His face to know what to do if you truly trust God to help you.

If you depend on any of these carnal comments, you do so at your peril.

More or less like a planned attack if he's missing.

LagosInter:
A man is despised and feels less of himself if

(a) he is poor
(b) he can't satisfy a woman.

The latter is of concern here.

A serious factor to satisfying a woman is good penile health.

This is two pronged: ability to gain, maintain and sustain an erection; and ability to last long.

The former is worse than death.

Men here will agree that there have been occasions you fail to gain or sustain erections especially from age 30.

I have experienced it too. That day I felt like disappearing.

The lady was already in the mood and I couldn't get it up.

Although in hindsight I discovered I had malaria because I used to fire on all cylinders.

This experience is dispiriting as it leaves the man disappointed and the woman unsatisfied and abysmally frustrated.

Scientific literature agrees that factors such as diabetes, high BP, infections, obesity etc can influence these outcomes.


So please I seek to know practically how men here have been able to deal with this challenge for it's when a good erection is gained that you start talking about lasting long.

How can one care for his health - penis so as to have it function optimally at all times.

How can we have good libido too?

What foods or habits can affect these negatively?


I need first hand input and experience please.

Last long to please a wife or a random girlfriend?

Biko, do not kill yourself because of sex.

Eat good food. Rest well. Exercise regularly.

Don't go beyond your limit to satisfy any woman in bed lest you die in active service It has take many to the world beyond.

Until we all know and agree that we are not called to LOOK up to a pastor or the church, we'd keep looking up to men and movements for what we need in life that should come from God to us.

Yes, the church failed you (it has been failing others), but God raised helpers for you when your daughter was sick. You should understand that the foundation of a man's Christianity determines the quality and the durability of his Christian life. If miracles, or mundane thing becomes your basis of becoming a Christian, you'd lack substance to withstand tough times.

Challenges would come as they're part of life's experiences, but who you look up to matters.

Do I have it all rosy as a Christian? Never.

It took more more than 3 years to gain admission to the university.

It took me more than 6 years to marry a wife when I had a stable income, but no right partner coming.

I had challenges becoming stable in my prayer life (no thanks to Lagos wahala).

I knew what REAL poverty was while growing up as a teenager and young adult. The kain poverty wey go make you prepare Eba for your house, but go neighbor house to beg for soup take eat am. This happened for years.

Through it all and many weird experiences and challenges in life, Christ has never failed me and my family. He still remain my Lord and Savior.

Today, all the glory to His name alone, I am a chartered professional in my discipline.

I am married to a great wife with kids (forget all those redpillers philosophy about marriage is a scam). Marriage is sweet when you become the right person, marry the right person, apply the right principles, and involve the right Person (God). It just have to be right.

I am still a Christian, not a churchgoer, or a church member (I belong to a church), but I am most conversant of my walk with Christ, not to follow men of God, church denomination, but a disciple of Jesus (that is the real essence of becoming a Christian).

Finally, the church will fail you. Some Christians would betray you. But JESUS CHRIST will never fail you if you cling to Him, come what may.

In this world, we would surely have tribulations, but in Christ, we are MORE THAN A CONQUEROR (not a church slogan), through Him that loved us.

KNOW JESUS...KNOW PEACE.
KNOW JESUS...FOR YOURSELF
KNOW JESUS...BE ROOTED IN HIM (not in church, denomination, or men of God).

#Shalom

[/b]Marriage has been perverted by the devil in so many ways you can't imagine and his most effective/favorite tool or weapon whether you believe or not has ALWAYS been [b]WOMEN.[b][/b]


Let's always strike to balance our school of thought. Women are not only the culprit for a bad marriage, there are weak men too who make marriage hell for their spouse.

Don't be scared about marriage. Always ask God to show you mercy in this aspect. It takes His mercy to have a good spouse and great in-laws.

What's the fate of the girls she introduced into such a lifestyle?

Think well before you copy or follow anybody both online and in real life.

There's a way that seems right to many, but the end...

It is not about the QUANTITY but the QUALITY. Hollywood and the likes take their time to produce one movie and it comes out great, but our obodo version of Hollywood comes up with trash within one week (only a few of them take their time).

We don't want quantity but quality movies; but Buharia and NFB will do nothing about it.

She was buried today vs. he was interrogated today.

Reverse psychology vs. Hard drug secretary

Consented sex vs. Retaliation

There are more to these.

Intrinsically, men are created to be providers. God provided for Adam all that his wife would need to be comfortable before she stayed with him in the garden. But when a man is unable to provide as much as he wanted, especially financially, or that his wife earns more than his financial ability, he feels threatened.

This is one of the major problems in marriage. Do not blame his insecurity, it’s just a direct response to his inability to provide.

But when a wife happens to be the breadwinner or that God blessed her more than her husband’s financial capacity, this is a volatile area that needs to be addressed with wisdom and prayerfully.

Meanwhile, in this kind of situation, there are two kinds of men:

1. Those who feel threatened and act foolishly
2. Those who feel threatened and act wisely

Please read on patiently.

And it is also important to note that women who earn more than their husbands fall into these categories:

1. The rich wise woman
2. The rich foolish woman

Let’s do a little mathematics, if the rich foolish woman marries a man who acts foolishly because his wife earns more, what do you think the outcome would be?

Chaos, crisis, fights, misunderstanding, foolishness, and several others would be the order in such marriage.

If the man who feels threatened but acts wisely marries the rich wise woman, I’m sure you know the consequence. There will be little or no tussle, but peace, bliss, progress, and success in that kind of marriage.

Now, let’s peep into the scripture to guide our understanding.

A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman plucks it down with her own hands (Prov. 14:1).

You can be a wise woman who is either rich or poor. When a rich wise woman marries a man who feels threatened because she earns more, she’d need wisdom and patience to relate with him. Such women would do things without letting their husbands know, this is not wickedness, but wisdom.

Now, let me ask you a question: who do you blame when a marriage is successful? And when it fails, who takes the most of the blame?

You know the answer already.

If you keep throwing money at him and he lavishes it on women and drinks, do you think progress would be made in such marriage? If you disclose your financial position to him, and doing that brings out the beast in him, will you have peace in that marriage?

Recently, I was told the story of a woman who married a pastor. You should know that she’d earn more than him because she is a trained nurse and works in a reputable hospital.

At a point when she disclosed her financial stance to her husband, he avoided some of his obligations at the homefront and she felt neglected. See what she did. She told him they’ve reduced their salary by half due to the economic downturn, and there was peace at home. Can you see the kind of man she married, even a pastor?

Let me digress a little, that you’re married to a pastor doesn’t mean you’re married to an angel. Character is different from calling, and personality isn’t equal to the anointing.

Today, they have their own house, although they live in the parsonage, and have both traveled abroad for vacation, and I’m sure the wife plays an integral part in this.

So, if you’re married to a man who feels threatened and acts foolishly because you earn more, apply wisdom for the sake of peace.

What then should a man do when his wife earns more?

Misbehave? Chicken out? Act foolishly?

Let me share a story to address that.

I heard a man who shared his experience on this matter. He’s a Christian and a disciple of Christ. When he saw that the woman that God was leading him to was richer, he prayed to God to double his salary so he can provide for her. God answered his prayer because he did that with the right motive.

The reason why some men would never or wish to marry richer women is that many of such women would be proud, or they’ll feel intimidated. And from the wisdom of the scripture, wives are told to submit to their husbands.

If you as a man discover that your wife earns more, double your hustle, and if your hustle doesn’t match up with hers, dwell with her according to knowledge. This is very difficult for the carnal or natural man.

If he doesn’t want to misbehave, those whom he seeks advice from could talk him into foolishness.

But if you’re a spiritual man (which I believe you should) it would be easier for you to live with this kind of woman, especially if she’s God-fearing.

Love her, support her, advise her and never feel threatened or intimidated if she earns more. God has only blessed you with that kind of woman as a gift, the onus lies in your ability to manage her.

There’s another woman I know who is “stinkingly” rich, but she married a foolish man, and unfortunately, they have to adopt a child. He’s foolish because he drives her posh cars to Unilag to womanize. This woman is wealthy, but the man she married is an ignoramus – a big one at that. He didn’t change.

Sadly, the wife died a few years ago, and on the day of her funeral, he cried his eyes out.

What do you think would have been the fate of this man if he had acted wisely to dwell in knowledge with the gift of a rich wise woman that God blessed him with? Today, he looks haggard and roams the street if I see him.

Dear man, calm down on your ego and nerves should your wife be blessed to earn more than you. If your hustle can’t surpass hers, ask God for the wisdom to dwell with her according to knowledge. See, she’s God’s gift to you.

Do you know what it means to be a husband, I mean the head? A real man who is the head of his wife is not heady, but humble, he’s not proud but prudent. As a husband, your wife can fall head over heels in love with you when you dwell with her in knowledge and you fill up her emotional tank.

And my dear woman, if you earn more than your husband, be wise and submissive, but don’t be stupid if he happens to be a foolish man.

In conclusion, permit me to wrap this discussion up with a story. In a family I know very well, their first daughter happened to be the first lady I had where we had mutual chemistry. Her mom was more well-to-do than her dad and they both raised their children to the university level. They might have an internal brawl that’s unknown to others, but they’re responsible and respected couples.

The only way to resolve this issue in marriage is through wisdom – godly – understanding and patience. Note that I didn’t just mention communication, as good as it sounds, it can’t change a foolish man or woman in marriage, whose mindset about financial capacity is childish and ridiculous.

Meanwhile, growing up (maturity) is also key in resolving this kind of matter. Prayer would also be of great help, but pray with understanding and apply godly wisdom.

Nevertheless, the best thing is to be married to a mature and godly spouse. A spouse that is mature in handling sexual, financial, emotional, and spiritual issues in marriage, coupled with being godly is a huge blessing.

That a man or woman goes to church doesn’t make them godly. Godliness affects your mindset and shapes your personality. Those who are godly are more God-conscious in their dealings with others, without allowing their human nature to prevail.

May God help every insecure man in marriage to grow up, and grant their wives the wisdom to relate with them.

A relationship is said to be wrong, not because you're not in love, but because you're entangled in a friendship that's killing you softly. Many have been trapped in a relationship that seems rosy, but they're oblivious of the harm it's doing to their life.

When Eve shared a few moments with the devil, she never knew it was a relationship that would send her out from the garden that God has kept them in. But as a smart guy that he is, the devil made her see how the tree is "good" for food, "pleasant" to the eyes, and one that is to be desired to make one "wise."

Can you see that? Please note those words in quotation marks. That's how many wrong or toxic relationships appear, but a few months or years after, the damage won't be redeemable.

It is better to quit a wrong relationship now, than for you to leave it when you'd have a scar. Truthfully, God will forgive you, but the scar wouldn't be erasable.

Are you in the wrong relationship? Here's how you can identify one if you don't know.

1. It reduces you spiritually

The first agenda of every wrong or toxic relationship is that it draws you away from God, and brings you closer to hell. 

If you now give him more attention than God, you'd be gradually disconnected from Him till you're lost in sin. If she demands that you spend more time with her, remember what happened to Samson, he slept the sleep of death until they came to pluck out his eyes. 

A bad relationship would reduce your commitment to God, such as your devotion to Him and His work. You'd think more of him or her than to concentrate on God when you should.

2. You'd suffer verbal abuse

No relationship, I mean, no relationship is worth humiliating you verbally. You shouldn't be spoken to by anyone anyhow, whether in anger or as a habit if you truly know your worth.

A person who abuses you verbally can't change if his or her understanding hasn't been aligned properly to respect you. All this name-calling, body shaming, the use of foul languages or vulgar words is an indication that you're in a wrong relationship.

3. You're living as married couples when you're single

Call it a couple's life, cohabitation, boyfriend and girlfriend, or what have you are destructive relationships. It is never God's plan for you to jump a phase in your life. God will never give you "double promotion" to excuse you from a phase of life you must pass through.

All that you failed to learn when you should be single will be a carryover when you eventually settle down to marry, but with regret in the long run.

Line must be upon line and precepts upon precept. There's time to be in a relationship, and there is a time when it is very good that you should be alone.

You can't stay in the wrong relationship and would expect to marry the right person or enjoy what a blissful relationship is, you must quit; and I say that without an apology.

4. Dating married persons

For all I care, you should know that that's a wrong relationship. You don't need a prophet to say, "Thou saith the Lord." You know why?

You're sowing something that you'd reap later. Whether the Law of Karma is real or not, one thing I'm sure of is that God cannot be mocked and whatever you sow, you'll surely reap. If you're the reason why a man or woman misbehaves in their matrimony, you'd harvest what you sow.

Don't be the reason why a man is not faithful to his wife. Don't share warmth with another man's wife.

5. It would take a toll on your financial life

One sad thing about a wrong relationship is that you'd keep spending unprofitably. It is good to give in a relationship, but it's weird to give at the expense of your life. It isn't love to use your school fees to help anybody, it's called stupidity of the highest order.

When he knows that you can give to a fault, you'd be taken advantage of. When she knows that you give blindly, you'll become her ATM. And that would drain you financially.

6. It keeps you focused on pleasure rather than pursue your divine purpose

Any relationship you keep, whether you sugarcoat the name or not, and doesn't prioritize the discovery of your divine purpose, but esteems the pursuit of pleasure to its maximum point would destroy you.

Those who haven't discovered their divine purpose are not living, they're only existing. 

If you pursue pleasure so much in your relationship, it would ruin your useful life. Remember, the usefulness of youth is in their youthful life, and if all your youthful life is spent on the pursuit of frivolity, what would be the order of your life when old age sets in?

See, you can never be forever young. Every one of us would one day obey the laws of diminishing returns. Your pointed breast would sag one day or that handsomeness that becomes your focal point will fade. It is what you pursue in life that matters.

If you pursue pleasure - youthful lust - there's a reward, and if you pursue your divine purpose, you'd have a greater reward with a life that's exempted from the tragedies of youthful life, especially of those who are void of understanding.

If you still read all these and scorn the truths in it, well, don't say you haven't been told. The year is still fresh. Set your life in order and quit any wrong or toxic relationship you carried over into this new year. Don't be emotional about your decision.

A wrong relationship has no benefit than to destroy you; if not now, the destruction would come in the nearest future.

babakbb:
I have been married for over 5 years now and i am loving it, sweet and wonderful wife and an intelligent daughter.

Marriage is the best thing that have ever happened to me.

Would you like to share those things you did that made it the best thing that has ever happened to you?

The number of ladies who have been trapped in a toxic or wrong relationship due to their emotional weakness is much more than those who are emotionally mature and are free.

Why is this so?

Several things constitute a lady's emotional life, especially those who have not mastered it. What goes into her ears, how she feels, who made her feel that way, what she's thinking of, and the situation she finds herself in would affect her emotions.

More so, the reasons why most ladies are trapped in a wrong or toxic relationship is largely due to FEAR. Yeah, F-E-A-R! That word has held them back from opting out of toxic relationships.

A relationship is said to be toxic because of its terrible effect on your emotional, spiritual, academic, mental, and financial life.

And these fears that held them bound are:

1. Fear of being lonely

It is one thing to be alone, it's another thing to be lonely. Loneliness has a permanent cure, but the solution to being alone isn't a toxic relationship, but marriage.

Adam was alone because he had no companion to help him fulfill God's purpose for his life, but he wasn't lonely. But many ladies are trapped in a wrong relationship because they're lonely.

Meanwhile, your antidote to the fear of being lonely is to discover and pursue the fulfillment of your divine purpose. No relationship can cure your loneliness, not even marriage. You can be married and still be lonely, but you can never be fulfilling your divine purpose and be lonely.

2. Fear of starting again

Making mistakes in life isn't the greatest failure on earth. Abraham Lincoln failed several times before he eventually became the United States president. If he had feared starting again, he would have been a total failure.

Staying in that wrong relationship is the beginning of your failure if you remain there. I know you have invested much into it, but a failed relationship doesn't make you a loser.

Start again. God doesn't patch a wrong or toxic relationship. It won't work. It is when you start again that you can attract the right person. The longer you stay in the wrong place, the difficult it is to get to your right destination.

3. Fear of what people will say

Whether you fail or succeed, people will say something. Isn't it better for people to sing your praise than for you to become their songs of mockery?

Staying in a wrong relationship because of what others would say will do you more harm than good. Because of what people will say or do, King Saul spared those he was commanded to destroy.

I'm sure you knew the outcome - he was rejected by God as a king. It is better you quit that relationship now, not minding what people would say, than for you to be rejected by God because He has considered you unfit for His use.

What is the way out of a wrong (toxic) relationship?

1. Know the truth

No matter your past mistakes, there's always a God who is ready to convert your mess into a great message when you return to Him; and this is simply the truth.

The truth is that you will get the right person if you give up your wrong relationship. You can't change that person, it is the Holy Spirit that convicts people to bring the change God wants in their life.

2. Hold onto the truth

Many know the truth: they believe God can do it, but because of fear, they held onto lies. The truth you know (mental knowledge) cannot deliver you until you act on it experientially. 

If you believe He can give you the right person, what are you doing with the wrong person now? Don't manage him or her; quit, and let Him guide you to marry the right person.

3. Control your emotions

Your emotions (thought) would always find a way to cast an aspersion on your mind if you don't control it. Thoughts would come to make you relish those moments you had in the wrong relationship. If you continually feed your mind on it, you'd find yourself back in it.

So, when those thoughts come, cast them down using God's Word, by confessing it out loud, or you meditate on it.

4. Let go

How can you be healed from a knife cut when you held firmly onto the knife? No sick man can be healed without taking medication, either physical or divine. Let go; this is the first step towards your freedom from the wrong relationship. 

Many ladies are trapped in a wrong relationship because of their ignorance, and fear thrives in it. But those who know the truth, and act on it shall be delivered.

What other fears do you think have entrapped some ladies in a wrong relationship?

SILENTandSMART2:
Bro i don't read your writeup at all, i hate reading epistles, but I'm commenting base on the topic,



The answer is both, cus if you get money self their are some certain things that you jusss have to endure

How is that an epistle bro? Let's do away with our inability to read lengthy but helpful posts.

virginprincess:
Wow, such a lovely write-up, marriage life is very sweet when you meet the right partern, but when you meet the wrong one, it is hell, i don't advice anybody to endure in such marriage, if you want a fulfilled marriage, wait on the lord for a good spouse, allow him to choose for you because if you by yourself choose, you are definately going to choose the wrong one, a word they say is enough for the wise, CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE ANGEL GOD HAS CHOOSING FOR ME.

And you shall not be put to shame over your expectations.

blackpanthar:



See, MARRIAGE IS VERY OVERRATED AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT COMPULSORY.

Yes, you are right, but it is a necessary union since it was ordained. It is NOT compulsory if one can forever stay single without testing the waters or playing with didos, but those who can't should do the needful to get it right.

There's a school of thought that believes that marriage should be enjoyed and not endured. Another school of thought believes that there are times in marriage when one will have to endure, due to the challenges of life and other unexpected circumstances that occur after the wedding.

But the truth is that marriage can either be enjoyed or endured, or you'd experience both of them depending on so many factors. Seeing that marriage is a subset of life, and there are ups and downs in life, what keeps us going, and not to give up is wearing a positive outlook on life.

Marriage will be enjoyed, although not with the exclusion of challenges when you marry the right person, become the right person, involve the right person, and you have the right understanding of marriage plus having the right motive for marrying. It just has to be right, otherwise, you'd have an unpalatable experience about it - endurance.

But all those things still don't guarantee a smooth marital experience, but you'd be at an advantage over those who got it all wrong, because if the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?

When the chips are down, endure it with your partner, and when things become rosy, enjoy it because life is seasonal, not perpetual. It is only in eternity that things are eternal, whether bliss or doom - depending on the choice you make today. But on earth, there would be seasons where you'd enjoy your marriage, and there are times you would endure some challenges when they come.

Nonetheless, you should have more enjoyable seasons in marriage than endurance, but it comes with a price.

Challenges are inevitable. It could be due to spiritual attacks, in-laws, or even the weaknesses of one's spouse. What should be our attitude when these challenges come?

Regardless of the challenges faced, marriage will be enjoyable when a man and his wife fight the battle together, but it will be an endurance trek when one person bears the weight of the challenge alone.

Let us get this straight: marriage will be enjoyed when the two that make up a marriage are willing to make it work. Challenges would come, but you won't feel the heat when you two stay put to quench it. But how can you enjoy your marriage when you leave your partner to face the challenges alone?

Yorubas in their wisdom assert that one strange hand cannot get a load to the head. It is with two hands that a load can be carried easily without bearing the weight alone.

There's someone reading this. You have left your spouse to fight the battle in your marriage alone. Remember, the vows you made before God and men. If Adam and Eve were together, the serpent wouldn't have prevailed over her. Remember, woe to the one that is alone. How can one prevail against the enemy in marriage?

Dear singles, do all that is in your best to get it right maritally. The beauty of marriage is not in the handsomeness of the husband or the pretty face the wife has but in the quality of their souls. Marriage is enjoyable when you have a spouse that is willing to withstand the heat in the kitchen rather than leave when it is much.

Elisabeth and Zechariah were serving God despite their barrenness. What do you think would have happened if it were to be in this 21st century that they were infertile? Yet, they never leave each other until God comes through for them.

Marriage is to be enjoyed, and not to be endured; but this option lies in who you marry, who you become, and your disposition to challenge when they come.

When the times are hard, face it together. When things get rosy, enjoy it together. When her breasts sag or he now becomes the different man you use to know, enjoy it together. The grass is not greener on the other side, it's the only greener where it is watered.

Change your mentality about your spouse in marriage. Your spouse is not the devil. Involve God. And if you must fight in marriage, fight against self and Satan, but not with your spouse.

Remember, marriage is to be enjoyed regardless of the challenges you may face. It only depends on who you marry, who you become, the principles you adopt, and the person you involve plus your motive for marrying. If all these are not right, you will endure your marriage.

Thank you for reading.

A lot of us claimed to know so much about love, but the outcome of our love life shows we are bereft of what love truly is. The likes of hugging, petting, buying flowers, or giving gifts have often been tagged as the display of love, but they could be deceptive.

More so, we claim to know so much about love, but the way we express it betrays our knowledge. How can you be in love, yet you cheat on the one you claimed to love?

There are two things we don't bear in mind when it comes to the expression of love. There's the vertical and horizontal expression of love. We fail to express love horizontally the way we ought to because we do not know what it entails to "love up."

Your vertical expression of love comes to play when you love God first. I do not intend to sound religious, but I have come to realize that you would love others better when you love God first. And this agrees with the words of Brela Delahoussaye which state that when couples love God first, they love each other better.

And this applies to you.

When you love God first, it would reflect in the way you treat your neighbors next door. You can't treat your partner with contempt if you truly love God.

Joseph in the Bible had the opportunity to have an affair with his boss' wife, but he considered it great wickedness against God if he did so. Was there religion in his time? I cannot think of one.

Love without the fear of God would be impatient, impolite, overbearing, proud, lustful, and would be ego-driven. Do you love God? The proof that you love Him is shown in how you treat the one you love - especially your spouse or partner.

Do you love God? Do you believe He exists? If you don't, then you're probably one of those people who have made love appear wicked, crazy, or a scam. Love is true when it acknowledges and bears in mind the existence of God, and does not do to others what he does not want them to do to him. 

Love does not stem from your feelings; it is your mindset that determines your love life. If you have programmed the wrong information about love into your mind, your expression of love will be all that bad things people say about love - consciously or unconsciously.

You can't love your friend (neighbor) in isolation without considering your love for God. It is a mind that is God-conscious that would avoid anything that could hurt the one he or she loves.

The more you shift your mind away from acknowledging His existence and your regard for Him, the more terrible your love life becomes. Don't you think a person's mind would be hardened, reprobate, and evil when he tries to express love without loving God first?

Many ended up becoming selfish, demanding, and uncommitted to their relationship because they do not believe that what they do to their spouse or friend is an offense against God.

If you can have the kind of mind Joseph had when he had the opportunity to sleep with his boss' wife, this world in general would have been a better place.

Now, ask yourself this question: Do I love Him first or I do not regard Him while I try to be a better lover? Love is not wicked. Love isn't crazy, or those terrible things many say about it. Love is beautiful when two lovers love God first and from that point, they express love mutually to each other.

Do you want to be a better lover? Do you want to enjoy what love truly is? You can revive your love life again. All you need to do is to admit God as being supreme over your life and in all you do. Love Him with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind as this would help you love others better.

Meanwhile, in your horizontal relationship, you should know that the kind of person you love, their understanding of love, and the motive of their heart would define your experience about love.

You can't have a great experience with love when you are in love with the wrong person - an abuser, a cheat, or a liar. Their expression of love which seems normal to them would affect your experience of love.

If all that you know or that your spouse or partner knows about love is weird, or it conforms to the way their parents express love which contradicts the qualities of love in 1 Corinthians 13, it would affect your love life.

Love is real and true when you love God first. And the kind of person you're in love with, their reason for loving you, and their understanding of love would affect your experience about love.

A lot of us claimed to know so much about love, but the outcome of our love life shows we are bereft of what love truly is. The likes of hugging, petting, buying of flowers, or giving of gifts have often been tagged as the display of love, but they could be deceptive.

More so, we claim to know so much about love, but the way we express it betrays our knowledge. How can you be in love, yet you cheat on the one you claimed to love?

There are two things we don't bear in mind when it comes to the expression of love. There's the vertical and horizontal expression of love. We fail to express love horizontally the way we ought to because we do not know what it entails to "love up."

Your vertical expression of love comes to play when you love God first. I do not intend to sound religious, but I have come to realize that you would love others better when you love God first. And this agrees with the words of Brela Delahoussaye which states that when couples love God first, they love each other better.

And this applies to you.

When you love God first, it would reflect in the way you treat your neighbors next door. You can't treat your partner with contempt if you truly love God.

Joseph in the Bible had the opportunity to have an affair with his boss' wife, but he considered it a great wickedness against God if he did so. Was there religion in his time? I cannot think of one.

Love without the fear of God would be impatient, impolite, overbearing, proud, lustful, and would be ego-driven. Do you love God? The proof that you love Him is shown in how you treat the one you love - especially your spouse or partner.

Do you love God? Do you believe He exists? If you don't, then you're probably one of those people who have made love appear wicked, crazy, or a scam. Love is true when it acknowledges and bears in mind the existence of God, and does not do to others what he does not want them to do to him.

Love does not stem from your feelings; it is your mindset that determines your love life. If you have programmed the wrong information about love into your mind, your expression of love will be all that bad things people say about love - consciously or unconsciously.

You can't love your friend (neighbor) in isolation without considering your love for God. It is a mind that is God-conscious that would avoid anything that could hurt the one he or she loves.

The more you shift your mind away from acknowledging His existence and your regard for Him, the more terrible your love life becomes. Don't you think a person's mind would be hardened, reprobate, and evil when he tries to express love without loving God first?

Many end up becoming selfish, demanding, and uncommitted to their relationship because they do not believe that what they do to their spouse or friend is an offense against God.

If you can have the kind of mind Joseph had when he had the opportunity to sleep with his boss' wife, this world, in general, would have been a better place.

Now, ask yourself this question: Do I love Him first or I do not regard Him while I try to be a better lover? Love is not wicked. Love isn't crazy, or those terrible things many say about it. Love is beautiful when two lovers love God first and from that point, they express love mutually to each other.

Do you want to be a better lover? Do you want to enjoy what love truly is? You can revive your love life again. All you need to do is to admit God as being supreme over your life and in all you do. Love Him with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind as this would help you love others better.

Meanwhile, in your horizontal relationship, you should know that the kind of person you love, their understanding about love, and the motive of their heart would define your experience about love.

You can't have a great experience with love when you are in love with the wrong person - an abuser, a cheat, or a liar. Their expression of love which seems normal to them would affect your experience of love.

If all that you know or that your spouse or partner knows about love is weird, or it conforms to the way their parents express love which contradicts the qualities of love in 1 Corinthians 13, it would affect your love life.

Love is real and true when you love God first. Meanwhile, the kind of person you're in love with, their reason for loving you, and their understanding about love would affect your experience about love.

For more insightful post, kindly visit www.handlingrelationshipissues.com

pls i am having date issues...which date do i insert in the result option...i used from 2000 to 2006 and it s telling me error...which ones do you use and it doesn't show error?

xamuel17:
i wonder why guys will waste quality time discussing about the opposite sex , when there are many ways they can impact something positive to the economy !!

What's the essence of an economy when the family that makes up the society is bad? Sensitization is all that's needed to make a positive impact to the society.

Please read between the lines before you comment

My daughter, let me draw your attention to some issues that affects most of your mates in this life. I know that you're mature enough and would consider having a relationship soon.

But before you do so, lend me your ears so that "Had I know" would not be your tale in life. Remember, the legacy I've always laid for you.

1. Gone are the days when my mother told us that any man that touches us would make us pregnant, but today, if a man have sex with you, you'll be pregnant.

The touching my mother meant in our own time was an idiomatic expression and we're not curious to know what it meant. But in your age, civilization has overturned the whole thing. If a man have sex with you, the insertion of his sex organ into yours, you'll get pregnant.

Don't get pregnant to a man that would tell you to abort your pregnancy or tell you to remove that thing, get pregnant at the right time to a man who would be happy to make you pregnant in marriage and not before it.

2. Don't equate love with sex, they're two different things.

Many of your mates usually think love and sex are the same thing. Let me simply tell you: love is when a man makes your life better and he's committed to your well being.

It is not love when he wants sex from you or call you out at night and be touching your body. It's not love when he beats or yell at you. And a man that did not love God cannot love you better. See, your father did not UnCloth me until our wedding night.

And you know what sex is now. Let me not repeat myself again.

3. Don't have sex when you'd be ashamed of yourself or regret ever doing it

The Bible says there's time for everything in life. If you have sex when you're not married, you can't be proud of yourself and it's regrettable. Don't do what you can't be proud of.

Sex is great but wait till the right time when you're not going to regret doing it. You know the pride of your husband aside the good values we raised you with is to meet you as a complete woman on your wedding night.

Make a vow with God not to have sex at the wrong time.

4. You become one with any man you join yourself with in sex - a soul tie and covenant is created

Many young girls that are messing up their life with sex don't know what's at stake. Let me tell you what they don't know.

Everyone you have sex with, you're establishing a covenant with them to join themselves to you. If he has bad luck in him or ancestral problem, you'll share it with him.

You will also create a soul tie with him that would hold you in bondage with him. Bondage in the sense that you'd want to have more sex with him. Don't create evil soul tie and covenant!

5. That a man tells you he'll use 'rubber' with you doesn't prevent the consequence of premarital sex

In our own days, civilization hasn't spoilt the world like this. There's something that looks like 'bolon bolon' that men wears in their private part.

Daughter cuts in: "Mama, it's not 'bolon bolon', it's called condom".

Condom or no condom, it can never prevent things like spiritually transmitted disease, evil soul tie, blood covenant and so on.

If God tell us to refrain from something and man makes an alternative for it, do you think it would prevent the punishment that comes with it?

Daughter: "No mama".

6. Relationship is not a must and that you must have a boyfriend is not compulsory

Don't listen to other girls who are wasting their life with their boyfriends thinking they're enjoying life. It'll be too late for them to realize their folly.

Discover your purpose first. Know the God you serve and get closer to Him. There's nothing you can't become in life if you have God than to have boyfriends and be faraway from God.

Daughter: "But mama, one would have experience about marriage in a relationship".

Mother: "Have you forgotten that curiosity kills the unwise cat?"

Don't be in haste to know how it is to fare in marriage. Many of you are naive, this is why men would take advantage of your ignorance and mess up your life.

Have you seen anyone that was sent away from her matrimonial home because she did not have experience before marriage?

With time, I'll share more with you. Put all you've learn today in your right hand. Don't let them slip away. Hold onto the truth and it will prevent you from the problems many young ladies put themselves into.

And for those who have found something useful in this dialogue, keep the truths you discover or have already known. A word is enough for the wise!

© Mayowa Adeniyi 2015

“If I bestow all my goods to the poor or I give my body to be burned, but I have no love, it profits nothing” – Apostle Paul

Everyone longs to be in love. Whether it’s the movie kind of love or that which you saw in other people’s relationship.

That moment when you have someone to express your feelings to, share your pains with, lean on, complement and would make you feel appreciated. The beauty of love cannot be quantified or estimated when it’s pure, divine and mutual.

Love requires a how and when to do it but I’ll explicitly show you how. Why does love hurts? Why is it blind? Or affects people’s life negatively? Is love really bad?

If you have ever asked this questions, I’ll show you how to do it right despite your bad experience. Trust me! Here are the things you need to know to do it right.

1. God is love
Whether you believe it or not, you cannot experience love without first knowing the origin of love. God loved mankind and He gave him His only begotten Son. And while we’re yet sinners, Christ loved us and gave His life for us.

No genuine love can originate outside God. The implication of this is that
who you love must love God, not in lip action but in deed; otherwise you’ll have more negative stories to tell about love.

Your knowledge of God will make you to understand the real nature of love. Any love that cheat, abuse or exploited you isn’t from God but lust.
God is kind, gentle, patient, tolerates, doesn’t envy, not proud or easily provoked. When you have an understanding of this, you’ll know how to love. In summary, you cannot manifest some or all of these natures if you don’t love God.

2. Love is in sacrifice
How do I mean? It cost God the life of His son to save the human race from destruction.

Who says love doesn’t cost a thing? That’s false! Love would cost you your time, energies, resources and efforts for the one you love. It cost Jesus His life to save mankind.

When you know that love is in sacrifice, you’ll seek how to improve the life of who you love without exploiting him/her. Only a selfish or greedy man will not want to give or sacrifice. However, it’s not love if it doesn’t cost you anything.

3. Love is in commitment
God made sure that man would be reconciled to Him despite his many failed attempts. Jesus too was committed to His disciples until they had His nature infused in them.

To love effectively, you must be committed to the well-being of your partner, in patience until you see him/her change. Note: you cannot change anyone, only God and their willingness can.

It take love to be committed to a person despite their shortcomings and imperfections. Without love, you’ll only be jumping from Peter to Paul.
The commitment aspect of love is in binding yourself emotionally to a person. Love is not ‘polygamous’ or ‘multiple date’ especially when you’re in a marriage relationship or one leading to marriage.

Until you’re ready to be committed, don’t go into a love relationship otherwise you’ll mess it up.

4. Get the right person
No matter how hard you put a key into the lock, if it’s not the right one, it will never open the door. Read that again!

Majority of problems most people have about love isn’t about the poor understanding of love but in loving the wrong person.
There’s no amount of sacrifice or commitment you can do to a relationship that would make it right if you’re loving the wrong person.

A wrong person is one who doesn’t share the same belief, values, principles or you two often disagree over major issues. Two can only work together when there’s agreement.

To get the right person, you must be the right person in character, personality, values and belief. However, you need God to get a suitable help meet. Involve God in your search and don’t allow pocket size, physical appearance, pressure or infatuation push you into marrying the wrong person.

You can never enjoy love if you marry the wrong person. Remember, who you love will determine your experience about love.

Reflect on these. Consider your love relationship: is any of the above points lacking in it? You cannot express love if you do not love God. God doesn’t cheat or abuse. That negative nature that most people manifest in their relationship is not God (love).

You cannot get the right person to love in marriage if you you lean on your understanding. Allow God to guide you not her beauty or his profession of love. Regardless of your commitment and sacrifice or your knowledge about the nature of God (love), if you love the wrong person, you’ll live with a bad memory for the rest of your life. Get God to get it right.

What else can be done to love right? Share your experience.

Read more articles on http://handlingrelationshipissues.com